Ranma's Husband?
by roses-are-a-weed
Summary: Life in Nerima only ever gets more chaotic… will this be Ranma’s breaking point? In which everyone in Ranma’s life proves just how inexplicably stupid they can be… sort of. Other stuff also happens. Pairings include: DualGenderedRanmaOMC and AkaneMousse
1. Prolougue: Kasumi's surprise

Author's notes: This wandered into my head a while ago, and I found myself unable to get rid of it. I don't know if I should continue it, and would love to hear your opinions on the matter. I'm still getting back into the swing of writing so it might not be all that good. It's been years since I saw the anime but I recently re-read most of the manga. Its set before Nadoka finds out about the curse, and before any real relationship develops between Ranma and Akane. If I do continue it it will probably be Ranma paired with someone of the male persuasion.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 does not belong to me, the characters do not belong to me, and I have absolutely no intention to make money off this piece.

It was a lovely day in Nerima, and Kasumi was humming softly to herself as she went about her morning chores. She had almost finished preparing breakfast and was setting the table whilst there was nothing cooking that needed her constant attention.

She smiled to herself as she listened to the commotion from upstairs and smiled to herself thinking how lucky she was to live in a house full of such lively healthy people.

She was going back to the kitchen when she heard the clamour of running footsteps. She deftly moved aside as Ranma came barrelling past in his female form being chased by his father and her little sister Akane. She continued on her way to the sound of Ranma and his father exchanging rapid blows and the splash of one or more bodies landing in the koi pond.

She gave a little giggle and went to get the kettle, which she heated every morning in readiness. She walked out to the koi pond and poured its contents on Ranma who was bare-breasted and wringing her shirt. Kasumi tried not to be, but was secretly amused by Ranma's complete lack of feminine modestly, and to be honest, a little jealous of her figure. Seeing Akane approaching with a dangerous glint in her eye, she decided that it was past time for her to get the breakfast on the table.

She was almost finished arranging the dishes on the table, and was going to go get the rice when there was a knock on the door. She was a little surprised as they weren't expecting anyone, but once more abandoning breakfast, went to answer it.

The person at the other side was not someone she had ever seen before; of this she was sure as he would be impossible for her to forget. He had long curly hair held in a loose ponytail positioned just over his left shoulder, and was dressed in the traditional style. He was tall – well over 183cm (6'ish) maybe even 195cm, and nicely muscled. He was also devastatingly handsome, in a quiet mature sought of way, with a long face and kind almond-shaped eyes. In short, he was just her type.

She could feel her face heat as she blushed harder than she had in a long time. She tried to say something, but not matter how often she opened her mouth nothing would come out. As someone that never usually lost her composure, not matter the strange occurrence, this was becoming mortifyingly embarrassing. He seemed to take pity on her and opened his mouth to speak.

"Hello, I'm looking for my wife. Her name is Ranma Saotome, and I was told she lived at this address."


	2. Genma, when did you become Happosai?

Ranma's… Husband??? – Genma, when did you become Happosai?

Rating: PG 13, or whatever. Teenish anyway.

Authors notes: Well, the response I got from the first part of this was incredibly surprising. I think I've gotten more reviews from that tiny bit of writing that from anything else I've ever written combined. I must say the positive response I've gotten has been a boost to the ego if ever there was one. I've gotten complaints about the length of the first part, but it was really to see if there was anyone interested in the story, I also think adding length to it would have taken away the impact. I hope to get the next part done before the 27th, because after then "real-life" is going to intrude in my writing time. Ok I'll stop blathering now, just one more thing:

Notes on format and structure:

Down there a bit will be a flashback scene (it'll be marked by: _begin flashback_) anything between "" will be Genma's narrative and anything in _italics_ will be what really happened.

Anything in "**bold**" will be written on one of Genma-Panda's signs.

Ranma's day had started off fairly normal. He had been fast asleep when a glass of cold water to the face had roused him out of his increasingly frequent nightmare of being ripped into shreds by a pack of wild animals. Waking to discover himself in his female form was more common than not these days, and the normality of it was beginning to worry him. After rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he looked up and discovered the origin of today's glass of water was Nabiki, who was standing over him with a cheeky look and a camera. "Oops, didn't mean to wake you." She said, before snapping a couple of pictures and flouncing off.

He was still a little disoriented from his dream and it took him a moment to work out what had happened, but when it had finally sunk in he was up like a shot muttering "Pictures, always pictures, you'd think she had enough by now." He'd decided earlier that week, after another run in with Kodachi and one of Kuno's photo albums, that the next time he caught Nabiki taking photos of him he was going to get the film… and burn it (and maybe her, if she was unlucky).

He rushed out the door hoping to catch Nabiki before she and the camera disappeared, but in his haste he wasn't looking where he was going and "Oof", he ran into someone with enough force to knock them both over. As he was falling he twisted desperately in an attempt not to land on whoever it was and came to three uncomfortable realisations.

One: the person he had run into appeared to be Akane.

Two: if this was so it was unlikely he would be catching up to Nabiki any time soon, and

Three: his shirt was undone all the way to the waist, which meant that this time Nabiki had gotten some good shots and Akane was about to call him a pervert. It turned out to be worse than he could have imagined.

Akane was wearing a skirt and Ranma's attempt not to land on her combined with her own attempts to right herself ended with him lying half over her legs with her skirt flipped up and his face resting on her upper thighs. He opened his eyes to the sight of a pair of pink polka dot panties right in front of his nose. "Oh shit." He whispered heaving himself to his feet; he was already backing away by the time Akane came to her senses. "Ranma you PERVERT!!!" she screeched, mallet materialising in her hand. "Akane… no… it was an accident." He whispered before gathering himself and exclaiming "Like I'd wanna see your panties anyway". Which was stupid, but the status quo had to be maintained. Taking one look at Akane's face he decided that now would be the time to start running.

He was already down the hall and near the stairs before he heard the sound of her footsteps approaching, he turned his head back to get a look at how close she was and ran into a second person. Unlike with Akane this person did not fall over taking him with them. Looking up he realised he'd run into his old man who had a look of combined pride and disappointed on his face. "Ranma my boy, it makes a man proud to see his son finally accepting his fiancée and going to such lengths in the pursuit of her love. But why, why must you always insult her and then run away when you are finally making progress?"

"Accept my…? Making progress?… What? Oh you think… NO. NO WAY! I was not…"

**_THWACK!_**

It is never a good idea to ignore a pissed off Akane Tendou, and it was only a stroke of luck (or perhaps the sort of instincts living in Nerima with the name Ranma Saotome could give a person) that he dodged out of the way quick enough to avoid being malleted into the stratosphere. Taking one look at Akane convinced him that the next few minutes of his life may prove fatal. Thinking fast, as he valued his life and she was getting ready to swing again, he decided on the best course of action. Turning around he swung his fist at his father's face, taking Genma (who had been watching Akane with bemused wariness) by surprise.

It didn't take much to get Genma involved in their early morning fight, just a "you're getting slow pop" and a kick to the head and away they went. It was inevitable when fighting with his father that they would end up in the koi pond, and he was counting on that, and the fact he was a hard target to hit in the middle of a fight, to keep him safe from the brunt of Akane's wrath.

The whirling mass of flailing limbs that was Ranma and Genma went about their predicted actions, though this time with Akane giving chase. They made it downstairs, brushed past Kasumi, flew through the dining room, and out onto the veranda. They exchanged rapid blows before Genma threw his son into the pond, only to have Ranma grab his arm and pull him in as well. By this time Akane, though still in a bad mood and oozing negative energy, had lost interest in killing Ranma right-then-and-there and had sat at the table next to her father waiting for breakfast.

Ranma pulled himself out of the koi pond and on to the veranda, where he pulled off his shirt (which he only just noticed was still open, meaning he had flashed everyone in the house) and started wringing it dry. He was, if he was honest with himself, heartily sick of it all. Sick of Nabiki's perverted money making habits, Akane's irrational anger, his old man's… his old man, even Kasumi's happy oblivion in the face of everything was starting to annoy him. For a moment he let his usually repressed anger build up until it was choking him. It was likely, in that moment, that he would have done something stupid, if it wasn't for the kettle full of hot water that was pored over his head. He looked up to see Kasumi's smiling face and felt his anger evaporate. Such was life.

After getting some dry clothes he came back to the dining room and sat down at the table across from a smirking Nabiki. Feeling childish, he glared and stuck his tongue out at her before crossing his arms and pretending she wasn't there. While he had been upstairs Kasumi had set the table and the only thing missing was the rice. She seemed to be running a little late this morning, or perhaps he was up early – bearing in mind that Nabiki didn't mean to wake him when she did. By now everyone had gathered around the table and they were waiting for Kasumi to come back with the rice when they heard a knock on the door, which they were content to let Kasumi handle.

Akane was still fuming, Genma was still in Panda form, Happosai was elsewhere, no doubt up to know good, and Ranma didn't feel like talking no matter how much his pop and Mr. Tendou might try to convince him to apologise to Akane (which, for once, they mercifully restrained from.), so it was a strangely quiet morning at the breakfast table. They would have thought it an ominous quiet, if they had only known what was about to happen.

Ranma could hear the sound of a male voice and Kasumi's startled exclamation, before two sets of footsteps approached the dining room. Kasumi, looking incredibly flustered, appeared first followed by a tall, good-looking man wearing traditional clothing. "Father, this young man is looking for Ranma… um…" Kasumi seemed to be at a loss for words, wringing her hands and looking very nervous. "He… well… um…"

The young man interrupted Kasumi's disquiet with the words: "My name is Kiyoshi Kurosawa, and I'm looking for my wife. I was told she lives at this address. Her name is Ranma Saotome. From what I've heard she's petite, red headed, pretty, a martial artist and… um… err… shapely."

Ranma could feel everyone's eyes boring into him and wished he could just sink into the floor and disappear. He'd never see this man before in his life and he was supposed to be married to him? He looked around in desperation, futilely hoping that something would explain this shocking state of affairs, but all he saw was shocked, blank faces, and his pop looking… incredibly suspicious. He had a horrible sinking feeling.

Kiyoshi Kurosawa was staring at them in confusion, and Ranma had opened his mouth to say something (though he couldn't think anything that would make this situation any better), when his old man shoved a paw over his mouth and held out a hastily written sign. "**You just missed her.**"

Kurosawa looked a little bemused at being addressed by a sign wielding panda but played along "Do you know when she'll be back?"

"**No, she could be some time.**"

"I'll come back later then."

"**If you must.**"

"If she comes home before I return please tell her I was here."

"**Ok, will do that. Goodbye.**"

Kurosawa looked at them all for a minute with a puzzled expression on his face before politely saying goodbye and walking towards the front door. After a moment of blank staring Kasumi seemed to return to herself enough to hurry after him to see him out. Everyone else was still staring at Ranma, he could see that Nabiki was working her way up to say something obscene and he was sure Akane would start walloping him the minute she stopped frothing at the mouth.

"Didn't know you swung that way Ranma. Though I suppose…" Nabiki started, before he interrupted her with a hasty:

"Never seen him before in my life. Never!" which was all he got in before his old man whacked him over the head with a sign reading:

"**Training trip now boy!**" and started dragging towards the door. A quick kick to the head was enough to slow him down.

"I think you've got some explaining to do old man." Said Ranma, blocking his father's path.

"Yeah Mr. Saotome, this reeks of one of your screw-ups" added Nabiki.

"Explain now so I can kick you out of this house. Betraying more poor girl like that." Wailed demon-headed Soun.

"Grraaaaghhhh, _pervert!_" foamed Akane, who had returned to reality and was now being pinned by both Nabiki and her father, lest she kill everyone before they had a proper explanation.

Genma-Panda held up a sign saying "**all right, where do I start…**"

"**It was a dark and stormy night…**"

"Turn back into a human idiot." exclaimed Ranma, whacking his father on the head.

"**Sorry**" Genma wandered off into the kitchen for a minute before returning in his human form. He sat down and began again.

_begin flashback_

"It was a dark and Stormy night, and we had just gotten back from our ill-fated training trip to China. We were on our way here, to Nerima, as I had decided that it was finally time for my son to marry. We were passing through a small, creepy town; the name of which I no longer remember. I was feeling hopeful, and looking forward to seeing my old friend."

_It's a lovely sunny late-afternoon somewhere in Japan. Genma and Ranma are wandering through a large, clean, attractive town; a place that is really more of a small city. People are passing by bustling around going about their business. Ranma looks tired and Genma is in a noticeably bad mood._

"I knew that we'd probably have to find a place to camp because the town was not really large enough to have somewhere for us to stay. As we walked through the nearly abandoned town… no, wait, it was really more of a village … ahem, as we walked through the nearly abandoned village I kept an eye out for an inn, just in case, as well as somewhere we could get something to eat."

_As they pass through the town, the father and son duo walk by at least two inns as well as countless places selling food. Ranma keeps looking at the shops with a beseeching expression but Genma just walks faster. He's muttering under his breath about their lack of money._

"Not finding anything promising the first time around, I led us to the outskirts of the village and told Ranma I would go back for a better look, leaving him to set up camp. He was perfectly happy to do so and had already unpacked the tent when I made my way back into that wretched village."

_They are still walking past restaurants and café's, but the mood of the town is beginning to change. More of the shops are bars and clubs, and it is becoming apparent that they are nearing the red light district. Shops with signs advertising: Girls, Girls, Girls, or Boys, Boys, Boys, or Sex, Sex, Sex, and the like, are becoming more prevalent. Genma is starting to perk up and look a little more interested in life, but Ranma is looking decidedly uneasy. They continue on their way, with Genma almost running into someone or something every now and then due to distraction. Ranma just keeps his head down and tries not to look at anything. They pass through the red light district and into the outskirts of the town. Genma spots a grassy place with enough room to pitch a tent, walks over and dumps his belongings on the ground; he turns back towards the red light district and begins walking, leaving Ranma looking confused. Before he disappears from sight he yells back for Ranma to set up camp whilst he's gone. The confusion on Ranma's face turns to anger._

"I went back into town searching for a place to eat, I know my wife has taught the boy how to cook since then (even if she did think she was teaching a girl), but at the time neither of us could produce anything edible (we were almost as bad as Akane). It took a long time of thorough searching before I found a place that looked like it sold food… Little did I know the horrors that I would soon experience."

_Genma is strolling around the red light district with a dopey grin on his face, looking at signs, at window displays, and trying to get a glimpse in doors, which is annoying_ _the bouncers guarding almost every shop. At this moment he looks disturbingly like a cross between Happosai and a starving man offered a bowl of rice. Some of the shops have young, scantily clad women or men outside of them inviting passers by to come inside, share a drink, or maybe more. One particular girl, dressed in something that vaguely resembles a kimono, although it's open in a deep v down the front and barely covers her crotch, seems to catch his attention. He walks over and they exchange a few words before she leads him inside._

"I entered the establishment, which seemed normal enough, and sat behind the bar waiting to order. It was then that I encountered a demon from the darkest pit of the worst hell imaginable. She was behind the bar, and at first she looked like a normal woman but I would soon learn different. I ordered some food to take away, and asked for a drink. She went into the back of the café and came back with a glass of some kind of fruit juice, we had been travelling for a long time and I was thirsty so I gulped it down without even tasting it. It was soon after that I started to feel dizzy, and then everything began to blur."

_Genma looks around with disappointment. It's not the den of pornographic delights he'd been hoping for; instead it's a bar, or more accurately a hostess club. He's about to leave when the siren song of liquor and the attractive girl on his arm convince him to stay for at least a couple of drinks. The girl leads him to a booth and orders him a drink; it will soon turn out to be the first of many. The drink is delivered by the owner, who is checking out her new customer, she is petite, middle aged, attractive in a foxish kind of way and wearing an incredibly colourful kimono._

"The woman behind the counter had a strange expression on her face, a sort of evil satisfaction, and it was then that I realised that I'd been drugged. She said something to me but I couldn't understand her, my ears were ringing and felt as though they were full of water. All I know is that I felt as though I was under a compulsion to do what she said. She handed me a piece of paper with some writing on it that I could not focus on and forced a pen into my hand, I remember signing my name and then it's blank. I passed out."

_It's much, much, later and Genma is drunk out of his mind. He's half lying on the table and rambling on in an incoherent mumble to the attractive young woman who is still with him, even though she looks bored stiff. He gestures violently with the hand holding his drink to illustrate a point in his disjointed monologue, and manages to slop what remains in the glass down the girl's dress. He doesn't even notice when she gets up and storms over to the owner and starts yelling and waving her arms in his direction. The girl flounces of into the back of the bar muttering to herself and the owner approaches him with a piece of paper in her hand. She hands the paper to Genma who squints at it for a minute or so before he manages to bring his eyes into focus. Once he reads the contents he goes a sickly green colour and his eyes seem to be trying to pop out of his head; it appears that he's been handed the bill. He looks around desperately but is far too drunk to make a break for it. He starts to babble urgently, making wild sweeping gesticulations with his hands; at some point in the conversation he makes the hour glass gesture that means woman, followed by cupping his hands in front of his chest and moving them up and down to indicate the woman of which he speaks is well endowed. The owner looks at first annoyed, then mildly interested, and then intrigued. They seem to come to an agreement; he signs a piece of paper, she slaps him on the back in a friendly way, and then goes and gets a bottle of expensive whiskey for them to share. _

"I woke up a couple of days later, realised what I'd done, then grabbed the boy and ran. Less than a week later we were here, and Ranma was engaged to Akane."

_It's late at night three days after Genma left Ranma at the campsite, he has set up camp while Genma was 'busy' and is sitting in front of the fire roasting a very small fish (that he got from God-knows-where)on a stick, with a deep scowl on his face. He looks up when Genma comes barrelling into the camp with a frantic look on his face, he grabs Ranma and starts to shake him, yelling incoherent babble in his face. Ranma pushes him away and looks at him with confused concern and is about to say something when Genma shoves his pack into his hands and starts dragging him off. Ranma tries to get Genma to stop so they can pack up the tent, but it only with great reluctance that Genma stops long enough for them to pack up camp. Ranma is still fiddling with something when Genma spots something in the direction of the red light district, Genma freaks out, grabs Ranma, slings him over his shoulder (which Ranma protests) and starts to run._

"So that's what happened, it was entirely accidental, not my fault at all. You see that now… don't you?"


	3. The day DemonHeaded Soun nearly ate the

Title: Ranma's… Husband? The day Demon-Headed Soun nearly ate the World, and no one noticed.

Rating: Still Teenish- though the language is starting to get a bit rude.

Disclaimer: Not mine, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Author's notes: This chapter is a little more introspective than the last. I hope I did alright with the dialogue, as it's been at least four years since I wrote anything like this, and even then dialogue was not my strong point.

Author's Gratitude: I would like to thank everyone who had reviewed this fic, as well as everyone who will review this fic. You have all been a great encouragement.

ooo

There was a moment of absolute silence as everyone stopped to process what Genma had just said. Ranma could feel his face twitching as he tried to translate Genma's words into something approaching reality, aware of some worrying discrepancies in the story.

"See Akane, it's not that you're not attractive. It's just that you're the wrong gender." Nabiki seemed to be finding it all very amusing, and, like usual, couldn't resist the urge to make things worse. She was probably at least partly joking but Ranma still had to control the urge to thump her.

"_Must not hit girls_." He muttered under his breath, temper rising. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Soun's battle aura starting to flare, so obviously he wasn't the only one.

"Oh god… my fiancé really is a pervert." Akane looked pale and a little queasy, obviously she had noticed what he had about Genma's story. And come to completely the wrong conclusion. (And so had Mr. Tendou apparently, as he was starting to turn demon-headed again).

"What do you mean? I've never seen that guy before in my life." He felt this was an important fact to stress, since knowing what his life was like things could rapidly get out of control if they didn't believe him.

"Well your father's story didn't mention anything about a wedding, so how is it that he's your husband?" Nabiki asked, ignoring her mischievous expression (_and the large demon-headed Soun looming over them all_) he turned his attention to what was bothering him.

"I don't know. Pop how is it that he's my husband?" He hoped for once he would get an honest answer, but knowing his pop…

_Now demon-headed Soun had become so large he occupying an entire side of the room, but still no one else seemed to have noticed him._

"I don't actually know… I certainly signed you over to that woman, but I don't remember anything that looked even remotely like a marriage license." Said Genma, who seemed to be trying to look honest but was instead looking shifty.

_Oh… now demon-headed Soun's head was so large the top of it had gone through the ceiling. How were they not noticing this?. _

"Even if that's so, it takes more than a person's father signing a mysterious piece of paper for two people to be married. I still don't see how this young man could be Ranma's… husband (would that be right? I suppose it would… oh my.)." Kasumi said, fulfilling her role as the voice of reason, although she still seemed unusually flustered.

_Oh god… demon-headed Soun was going to swallow them all, and he'd be the only one to see it coming._

"Good point Kasumi." Said Nabiki, but by now his attention was beginning to drift.

_Soun had gotten so **big**, he was no doubt traumatising the neighbours. How did the man have that much battle aura?_

"Oh god… my fiancé's married to a _man_." Yes Akane, I know that Akane, please stop it Akane, I don't want to think about it Akane. Gotta be careful what I say to Akane, am still too young to die. Well at least that dragged his attention back where it belonged.

_Must ignore demon-headed Soun_.

"Pop, you sure that your story has anything to do with that guy, it could have been another person you sold me to… why am I not killing you for this anyway? ." It was true, why wasn't he? After all the shit his old man had put him through…

"Really Ranma, it's not like your father goes around… constantly… um… selling you to people… heh." Well it looked like not even Kasumi was capable of defending the old bastard this time.

_See if he just didn't think about it he **could** ignore Soun, even if by now he was so large you could probably see him by satellite._

"Sure he does, look at Ukyo, look at Akane. Knowing him that guy could have been one of who-knows how many." He replied, which was a worrying thought really… he already had enough on his plate, what if _more_ of them showed up.

"A _man_, what is everyone going to _think_, 'Oh look, there goes Akane, she's so uncute her fiancé would rather marry a _man_.' My life is _ruined_." And she was still going on about it, it wasn't likehe had anything to do with it.

_It was looking like the day that demon-headed Soun ate Japan._

"It's not like he could have sold you to that many different people in the short amount of time you've had a female form… could he?" Well that was a little too optimistic for Nabiki wasn't it?

_Or maybe the day he ate the world. How **was** he doing that?_

"…" And how was he supposed to respond to that?

"Well… could he?" Nabiki was starting to look as though the whole thing might be a little less funny than she had thought.

_He should have run out of ki by now, how was it possible?_

"… Pop?" Genma really would be the only one who would know.

"No, don't be ridiculous. It's not like I've traded the boy for anything (much) since Jusenkyo." He heard that muttered "much", oh Gods, there probably _were_ more.

_Soun was still growing;, it had gotten to the point that they were all inside his wavering border, and he was **still** the only one that seemed to notice._

"So what? You used that as a process of elimination?" asked Nabiki.

_It seemed like he'd seriously underestimated Soun, no one who was even remotely weak could keep producing that kind of ki for this long._

"Well, it was that and the name that gave it away." Now that his pop mentioned it, there was something awfully familiar about the guy's name. Kurosawa… Kurosawa… where had he heard that before?

"The name? What do you mean?" Kasumi asked, before he had a chance to.

_Was Soun ever going to attack, or was he just going to keep getting bigger and bigger? What was the point? And why the hell wasn't anyone else noticing?_

"He introduced himself as Kiyoshi Kurosawa, and I distinctly remember that the name of the… _establishment_ where I… um… sold-my-son was called 'Kurosawa's'" The name was sounding more and more familiar every time he heard it.

"What will I do?... pervert, he's a pervert. Does this make _me_ a pervert?" Akane better shut up if she knew what was good for her. His policy may be to not hit girls but she was _really_ pushing her luck.

_Since no one else seemed to be able to see him, so he decided that he too would ignore demon-headed Soun, no matter how distracting he was._

"Akane, will you shut up. I think it's been proven that Ranma had nothing to do with this marriage-to-a-man thing." Nabiki was standing up for him; the world must be coming to an end.

"Yeah. It's not _my_ fault." It was his old man's. But what if there _were_ more? Would he go outside one day to find a whole army of fiancés, fiancées, and spouses waiting for him. For a brief moment he imagined a being attacked by about fifty Tatewaki Kunos yelling "Date with me…". The thought made him shudder.

"So we're all sure that that young man has something to do with the story Uncle Saotome told?" Kasumi seemed to be attempting to gather the facts. Thinking about it he probably liked her more than anyone else in the house right now.

"Yeah" He agreed. Though part of him still wasn't sure.

"Uh huh" Said Nabiki.

"So this means he's _not_ a pervert?" Muttered Akane, though he was ignoring her now, yes he was, yes indeed, _must not kill her_.

"Of course he does. (Did they all really think I was lying?)" Muttered the old man. Ranma briefly thought about replying with the fact that most of what Genma said on any given day way a lie, but thought better of it.

"Dad, what do you think?" Asked Nabiki. So now they were paying attention to the man, even though none of them were even looking in his direction. If they had been they would have seen that Soun had eventually run out of ki and had fainted some time ago. Ranma himself didn't know when as he had been studiously ignoring him at the time.

"Come on old friend. You can't really be holding it against me?" Said his pop, looking plaintive.

"Dad?..." Nabiki was starting to look worried now and had craned around the table to see what was happening.

"Oh my… he's fainted" Said a concerned Kasumi.

"The shock must have been too much for him." Said Genma, trying to look wise,

"…" Ranma really didn't know what to say to that. They really _hadn't_ noticed.

After a brief moment of silence Kasumi dragged everyone's attention back to the matter at hand: "Well we still don't know how Ranma came to be married to this young man."

"Yeah, _if_ what Mr Saotome said is true, there are still questions that need answering." Added Nabiki.

"Would I lie to you all about something this important?" The old man was trying to look innocent again. It still wasn't working.

"Yes"

"Absolutely"

"I'm afraid I would have to agree Uncle Saotome."

"Pack of ingrates."

"So I suppose the only thing we can do is wait for Kiyoshi Kurosawa to come back and ask _him_." Said Nabiki, looking speculative. Ranma hoped she wasn't working out a way to make money off of this.

"I suppose that's the only thing we _can_ do." Agreed Kasumi.

"You sure you don't know anything else pop?" Ranma felt he should ask, as the bastard was probably holding _something_ back.

"How many times do I have to tell you boy, I've told you everything I know."

"I should kill you for this you know." He really should, and he still didn't know why he wasn't.

"You're still a hundred years too early, boy" Smirked the old man, getting ready for a fight.

"You aint that great _old_ man." And a fight would probably do him some good as well. Take his mind off it.

"I'll show you, _boy_." Crowed Genma before striking out with his fist. Ranma of course had to retaliate and off they went, for the second time that morning.

"And everyone was getting along so well." Sighed Kasumi, getting up to tidy away breakfast.

ooo

He watched his son, his son's fiancée and Nabiki Tendou leave for school. They were going to be late as everyone had forgotten it was a school day in all the commotion, and Ranma had only left after extracting a promise from him that he would still be here when the boy returned. His son didn't trust him. In truth their relationship had been deteriorating for years.

He'd screwed up this time, and he knew it. The other times… they were nothing really. Sure sometimes they'd come back and bite him, or more often the boy, but nothing like this. This was going to get the boy killed. If it wasn't for the fact he was already a dead man walking. Had been since Jusenkyo. They both were… God it was such a mess.

He never should have married her. He wasn't cut out for it… the domesticity of being a husband. He'd spent his whole life as a thief, what could you expect? And after a while it had started… grating on him. Getting on his nerves. Didn't help that she was the way she was. A man has needs, and it was an up-hill battle to get her to fulfil any of them. That's why Ranma was an only child.

Truth be told, though it wasn't a truth he'd be telling anyone soon, he'd wanted a whole gaggle of kids, wanted to be surrounded by laughter and games. Wanted something different from his own miserable childhood. Instead he got one son, and cold, impersonal, misery. It wasn't the boys fault, he was affectionate enough, it was her, her and her _notions_. Real men don't _hug_, real men don't _cry_, real men don't do _this_, real men don't do _that_. Real men blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Genma, why can't you be a _real man_? He'd wanted out.

He'd started to drink, and soon he was drunk more often than not. He couldn't stand it, he was going insane. He'd been drunk when the idea had come to him, how to get out, how to be free… and on reflection the whole thing reeked of a drunken kind of stupidity. He should have known she'd take it seriously, what was she always going on about, real men blah, blah. Well, if he was honest, he probably did know, but at that time he'd wanted to leave and never come back. Well he'd gotten what he wanted hadn't he. He couldn't return home, the boy couldn't return home, if they did… seppuku. All because of his own bloody stupidity.

At first he'd hated turning into a panda, he'd hear _her_ voice in his head telling him "_real men don't turn into pandas"_ over and over again; when it wasn't screaming _"real men don't turn into women when splashed with cold water"_. But after a while it had started to become comfortable, safe, better than being a man. These days he didn't even know if he'd use water from the spring of drowned man if they found some. But he wanted it for the boy, it was important for the boy, if they could just get some before she found out then it would be ok. He wouldn't have killed his son.

He knew back when the'd fallen into Jusenkyo that he'd screwed up, and it was that knowledge that had driven him to seek comfort, from anywhere, anything. His old friend drink. That had lead to this other, possibly fatal, mistake. If it was just Jusenkyo… well there was the spring of drowned man wasn't there? If they could ever get their hands on it. But this… what he'd done this time. Well that couldn't be washed away with the right water.

He hadn't known what to do, the boy didn't know, and if he had had his way he'd have never found out, but he still felt guilty. Felt sick inside. So he'd dragged Ranma back here, back to Nerima. Tried to make it up to him with a female fiancée. Well that turned out great didn't it. Not that there was anything wrong with Akane, she could be quite a sweet girl at times, it just seemed as though Ranma brought out the worst in her. It was starting to seem like he'd gotten the boy into another hopeless mess. Though the boy wasn't helping the situation any, calling a girl uncute all the time wasn't likely to make her any nicer to him. Why couldn't he just see that it was for the best? That his old man was looking out for him for once?.

Pahh! Look at him, getting all introspective. Pathetic really. After all: _real men_ don't… God he was sick of being a _real man,_ so he was going to go be a _real panda _for a while.

At least until his old friend woke up, and maybe killed him.

ooo

(_Elsewhere in Nerima_)

Three attractive young women are walking down the street looking around with a degree of disdain; there is a certain _something_ about them that makes them seem strangely out of place.

"Why did we have to come here anyway? It's bloody stupid if you ask me. No red light district to speak of at all." Says the girl on the right. _She is of slightly taller than average height, with bleached orange hair and an athletic figure. She is wearing a (very) short white leather mini-skirt, a tight black t-shirt and a pair of motorcycle boots. She is pretty in a rough sort of way, and will (for now) be referred to as: One._

"Yeah, I don't want to be in the same town as the bastard who ruined my dress… it was such a nice dress. It was hand-dyed silk you know, with all this hand sown embroidery. And he just went and slopped whisky all down the front. You know how hard it is to get whisky out of silk." Adds the girl of the left, pouting in a childish kind of way. _She can be recognised as the scantily clad girl from Genma's flashback. She is wearing something similar to what she was wearing then, only the skirt is a little longer and the front is like a proper kimono, the… dress… is a pale blue with a pattern of pink butterflies. She is cute and very feminine, but looks a little like Nodoka. She shall be called: Two._

"I would hardly call that small scrap of cloth a dress; it hardly covered your unmentionables." Sneers the girl in the middle. _She looks very different than the other two. She is dressed in a grey pencil-line tweed suit that comes to beneath her knees with the jacket fully buttoned, underneath this is wearing a linen blouse that buttons all the way up her throat and knee high brown boots with small heels. She has her hair pulled back in a severe bun, and wears small rectangular spectacles. She looks very much like the librarian from hell. Her name for now is: Three._

"Don't be a prude, it's stupid in this line of work." Says Two, fluffing her hair.

Three ignores Two and instead replies to One, "Well, I don't see why we need a red light district anyway. It's not like were prostitutes or anything, we just offer comfort for the lonely."

"Or criticism for the emotionally masochistic." Two sneers, slanting her eyes at Three.

"Well, you know what Mama-san thinks. A red light district always means that there is someone to take the attention away from us if the morally righteous object." One states.

"It also brings in _accidental_ customers, like whatshisface, the "Why did the Gods make me a panda" guy. (Strange that, wasn't it? I mean he obviously _wasn't_ a panda.)" Two says, taking out a compact and checking her makeup.

"Speaking of panda-man… how many times has a man almost spilled his drink on you? And you've dodged it every single time except this once, what gives?" Asks One, with a look of genuine curiosity on her face.

"I may have good reflexes, but not that good. He was a martial artist, and you know what they're like, even when they are completely shit-faced." Pouts Two, who has gone on to check her nails.

"_Language_!" Hisses Three, though the others don't pay her any attention.

"Yeah, we know only too well don't we…" One responds to Two, rolling her eyes.

"Mmhmm" Adds Three, a look of deep contemplation on her face.

After a moment of rueful silence something seems to occur to One and she asks: "A martial artist?... From what school? Did he say?"

"Um… err… yeah! He did say, now what was it…something like… anything's possible… or something." Says Two, biting her lip and looking a little dim.

"Anything goes?" Asks Three sharply, a look of intense interest on her face.

"Yeah. That was it."

"Oh… and he sold his daughter to Mama-san?" Three seems to know something the others don't.

"Yeah…"

"Well I guess that explains why we're here." States Three, with an uncharacteristically bemused smile.

"What do you mean?" Asked One.

"Where have you heard of the School of Anything Goes Martial Arts before?" Said Three with a full-blown smirk.

"Oh! Oh… You mean… Well that was bloody stupid of him wasn't it?" Said One, looking highly amused.

"mmhmm" Murmured Three.

"What?... What? Tell meeee, it's not fair if you both know." Shrieked Two, who proceeded to chuck a tantrum when neither of them would let her in on the joke.

The Three girls continued walking through the town that was to be their new home, until they reached a building with a sign bearing the words "Kurosawa's II, the Magenta Butterfly" picked out in pink, purple, and yellow lights one metre high.

ooo


	4. Enter the Dragon

Title: Ranma's… Husband? Enter the Dragon.

Rating: Still Teenish.

Disclaimer: Not mine, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Summary Thingy: In which stuff happens, the pov switches around and the author continues to abuse the innocent ellipsis.

Author's notes: Sorry it took so long, writers block, a new uni unit, Christmas stuff, unpleasantly hot and enervating (I live in Australia) weather, and ill health have kept me somewhat distracted. But it was nice today, and for once you couldn't smell the stink of bush-fires so I though I'd try and finish this chapter.

I am still loving all the reviews I've been getting, and would like to thank all of you who have taken time out to write one. On a related note: to a certain reviewer, please do not make assumptions about me and my work. I actually _like_ Akane, and yes I _have_ read the manga.

ooo

They had started out to school in a rush, but after a couple of streets it had slowed to pensive stroll. Akane was stiff as he walked beside her – he wasn't in the mood to walk on the fence – her shoulders were up and she gave off a hostile unapproachable vibe. Nabiki was walking in front of them, she was probably hoping that it would encourage them to talk but it was just adding to the feeling of discomfort surrounding them.

He didn't know what to say, the words "_not my fault, not my fault_" were circling around in his head like vultures, but he didn't know if they would help. They weren't words that people tended to believe when he said them. This wasn't what he wanted, he knew that now, but he didn't know what to do about it. Before, when he and his old man had been travelling, he'd been happier.

He'd been lonely sometimes, that was true, but there was none of this… chaos. Nobody's feelings to hurt. No way for him to prove, time and time again, that social graces weren't among the many things his pop had taught him. He hadn't needed them back then, when it was just the two of them more often than not (aside from the few occasions they'd stayed around for a bit – with Ukyou for one).

But now… now he couldn't seem to open his mouth without inserting his foot into it. He liked Akane, he really did, maybe not in an exactly _romantic_ way, but he did like her. She could be really nice sometimes, at least when she forgot who he was, but she didn't seem to like him. He didn't like that, her not liking him. He didn't mean to upset her, some of it wasn't his fault (at least he hoped it wasn't) like Shampoo and Kodachi and that stuff, but he knew some of it was. That calling her uncute all the time was hurting her feelings. But she thought he was a pervert, and he _wasn't_, he _wasn't_ no matter what anyone thought. _It wasn't his fault._

He didn't ask for this, he didn't _like_ turning into a girl, he didn't _want_ all these girls (and Kuno) chasing after him, not that the attention didn't make him feel good, but he could live without out it. He didn't ask for this… naked Shampoo's, and cats, and turning into a girl to ward off Ryouga, and Kuno following him, and koi fishing rods, and Ukyou, and Kodachi feeding him potions, and new male husbands… and all of it, he didn't want it. Any of it. Sometimes he just wanted to run away…

He was being pathetic, paranoid, and thinking too much. Time to repress, time to forget, time to smother his thoughts in his arrogant persona, and time to stop caring _so_ much. After all, he was pretty sure that it wasn't all that manly.

"Ranma… I… I'm…" Akane stuttered out, her hand reaching for him.

"Not now Akane!" He snapped at her, yanking his shoulder out of her reach. He didn't want to hear it, whatever it was; he just wasn't in the mood to be called a pervert.

"Ranma… you… YOU JERK!" She yelled thwapping him on the shoulder with barely enough force to make an impact before increasing her stride to walk beside her sister. He watched her for a moment before shrugging at her odd behaviour and turning his attention back inwards.

ooo

Ranma's school day had been very, very awkward. He'd felt like he was walking on a knife's edge, and one misstep… well one misstep in this town could leave him forced to commit seppuku. Or something _worse_. There was _always_ something worse in Nerima.

He and Akane hadn't spoken one word since the morning, it wasn't that he didn't want to, but he just didn't know what to say. At least she didn't seem angry at _him_. Angry at the world in general: yes. Angry at him specifically: no. Though she was oozing an aura that would put her father to shame. They'd gotten stuck standing in the hallway holding buckets because the teacher hadn't wanted to listen to their reasons for being late, and he'd nearly gotten frostbite from standing next to her. Her aura was _that_ cold.

Nabiki hadn't been standing in the corridor he'd noticed, but then she was Nabiki. She'd probably told some lie and burst into tears. Sometimes he wished he was as clever as she was. Today was one of those times. If he was as clever as her he could find some way out of this mess, and it was a tricky mess. He could feel it. His instincts were screaming "run away… run away". And being Ranma Saotome had taught him to listen to his instincts (except where Akane was concerned, but that was more an issue of pride).

He'd been trying to avoid everyone. He didn't want to tell any of the others… _ever_. But he'd settle for waiting to see if he could sort it all out with that Kurosawa person first, try explaining that he was a _guy_ and that they _couldn't_ be married. He didn't _want_ to be married, to a guy or not. He wasn't _ready._

Thankfully being late meant he had missed the usual early morning confrontation with Kuno. _Thankfully_, not because he didn't want a fight, but he was worried he wouldn't be able to hold back, and Kuno being Kuno would have definitely done something to make him angry. And though he might sometimes hate Kuno, he didn't want to be responsible for his messy, gory death. Though right now Kuno's very existence was making him angry, along with the existence of all men... God, this must be what Akane felt like.

Though he had missed him first thing, Kuno had been being a pain in the ass over lunch. Kuno'd tried to confront him, probably sensing he wasn't at his best, but Nabiki had (surprisingly) intervened. You'd almost think she cared, but he figured she just didn't want to loose one of her primary sources of income.

Ukyou, on the other hand, had been a bit more difficult. She'd worked out early on that something had happened, and when neither he nor Akane had answered her questions she'd taken to following him around. He'd spent the day seeing her out of the corner of his eye, hiding behind desks, behind trees, and behind people. Truth be told… he was finding it a little creepy. It was going to be hard to get away without her following after school, but he really didn't want her meeting Kurosawa. God-only-knows what she'd do if she met Kurosawa… God only knows what _he'll_ do when he meets Kurosawa.

But school was almost over, and (for now) he'd survived with dignity intact, though it was slightly worrying that none of the usual chaos had plagued him over the course of the day. No Shampoo, no Mousse, no Ryouga… he was being lulled into a false sense of security wasn't he? It was going to get bad, really bad, and soon… _must not panic, must not panic_, **_real men_** _don't panic when a suspicious absence of bad things happen to them._

(_This is the sound of a ringing school bell… if you don't believe me… well… you'll just have to trust me on this_)

He looked up when he heard the bell ring and realised that he must have zoned out; all of a sudden he couldn't breathe, it was all weighing down on him too heavily. He'd run out of time. Time he hadn't even realised he'd been stalling for. He couldn't quite bring himself to leave his seat; instead fighting against the constriction in his chest and staring into space. He sat there for long minutes that seemed like hours before he was dragged out of his fog by Ukyou's worried face.

"Ranma-honey, what's wrong?" She asked, her face creased in concern.

"Nothin's wrong Ucchan, nothing at all." He replied with a tired smile, hoping she would let it drop.

"You can't fool me Ran-chan, you haven't been yourself all day… you've been too quiet." She said, her left hand reaching out and ruffling his hair in a strangely maternal way.

He looked at her for a moment, wondering why she had done that, and what would happen if he told her the truth, before deciding on a course of action. "Don't worry Ukyou it's nothing major, in fact it'll probably be gone by tomorrow." He said, starting to gain some confidence in the thought.

"But Ran-chan…" she began, before he cut her off by abruptly standing and indulging in a long feline stretch. He felt alive again, aware again. It was simple… one conversation and Kurosawa would be out of his life for good. No way would the guy stick around when he learned that Ranma was really male.

He turned to go, but before he left he smiled at Ukyou and said "Thanks Ucchan."

"For what, Ran-chan?" She called after him, but he was already out the door.

ooo

Ahhh… a new town. New faces. New people… New… _girls_. Sexy, sexy, girls. Everywhere. Mmmhmmm… sexy.

Walking around, checking out the _sights_, what a lovely place this Nerima is. Ladies of every attractive persuasion, ev-er-y-where.

A pervert's delight. Ooooo I'm gonna enjoy it here.

I've changed my mind; Ma wasn't _totally_ out of her mind when she moved us here. Yummy, yummy, yummy.

Girlies to the left of me, girlies to the right. Girlies up ahead of me, wearing school uniforms.

High School Girls! High School Girls! Gotta love them High School Girls! Sexy, sexy, sexy, in their u-ni-for-m-s.

Ok, this one aint the _sexiest_ uniform, but a uniform's a uniform. Especially a _school_ uniform. Even when it's a form concealing, violently-blue, polyester number like this.

Being a school girl must be so _tedious, _but don't worry sexy girlies, Ryu is coming to save you from your boredom…

ooo

Ranma was walking on the fence next to Akane, well trying to anyway, as she was striding at an incredible pace with a less than pleased look on her face.

"Akane… _Akane,_ wait up!" he shouted at her when her fast speed meant it was too difficult to keep up with her at his usual stroll. When she ignored him he gave up trying to have a relaxing walk home and increased his pace until he had caught up with her.

"What's the matter with you now?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"What makes you think anything's the matter?" She replied in a terse tone of voice.

"Is this still about Kurosawa? Do you really think that I _want_ him to be my… my… _husband_" He all but spat the last word, barely flinching as his usual luck ensured he was splashed with cold water – this time by way of a couple of children having a water-balloon fight.

"No! God Ranma… what do you want from me?" She asked him, her tone sounding almost plaintive.

"Want from you…?" This was getting strange; there was something _worrisome_ about where this conversation was headed.

"I tried to apologise for how I reacted this morning but you wouldn't hear it, and then you spend all day in a sulk before cheering up after one, _one!_ conversation with Ukyou." Much to his relief, her tone was taking on its customary anger. She was jealous, that had to be it.

"Apologise? Since when do you apologise?" He asked, full of scorn.

"I was going to this morning! And don't make it sound like _I'm_ the insensitive one." She snapped at him.

That kind of hurt. Everyone was always blaming him for everything. "Yeah right! Like you could _ever_ be insensitive. Akane is always perfect. Akane is always kind. Akane could _never_ be **_insensitive_**" He all but snarled, his voice full of uncustomary venom.

"Ranma…" For a moment she seemed at a loss for words, her expression showing that he had hurt her that time. "…You can be a real _bastard_ sometimes." She spat, her expression becoming cold.

"Wait… Akane… look I'm…" He started to say before she cut him off.

"Sorry? You going to say you're sorry? Well I don't believe you. NotForOneSecond!" She snarled storming off away from him.

"Oh hell…" He hadn't meant to hurt her feelings, but it was too late she was out of hearing range.

He squatted down on the fence to think for a minute; he'd made a real mess out of that hadn't he? But there was nothing he could do now. He stood up and resumed his trek home, once more lost in thought. If he had been paying attention he would have noticed that part of the fence he was approaching was partially broken and bore a sign saying "do not touch, fence unsteady". The moment he stepped onto it, the fence started to give way, and he would have ended up in the canal if it wasn't for a couple of strong hands that caught him. Caught him in a rather intimate way. The hands were clasped onto his sides with the fingers pressing into his breasts. He could feel himself starting to blush and called out "Hey! Watch your hands!"

ooo

The sexy girlies weren't interested in Ryu today. They'd actually _laughed_ when he'd put the moves on them. But he was sexy, he was suave, he was wearing his best white suit… what more could they want?

Oh well. Their loss.

He'd just turned onto the street by the canal when he saw the attractive red-head start to fall into the water. With lightening reflexes he'd reached out to grab her, getting a pleasant handful for his troubles.

Sexy… large C cup, maybe a D.

The red-head seemed to be objecting to his handling of her and was starting to struggle, but he was too busy trying to work out what was familiar about a petite, red haired, pretty girl. It wasn't until she kicked him in the head that he finally put it all together.

He was just about to introduce himself when he heard: "Hey! Ryu, what do you think you're doing?" coming from behind him.

He turned around, holding out the girl (that he now knew was Ranma Saotome) to his brother, and said: "Guess what Kiyoshi! I've found your wife."

ooo

Ranma was getting quite annoyed. Not only was the person who had caught him still holding him, but they weren't paying any attention to his protests, instead they were lost in thought and getting a good grope in, and they were tall… he couldn't even reach the ground with his tiptoes. Enough was enough.

He swung his body up, curling it over, and kicked the guy in the head. They guy didn't even seem to notice, he certainly didn't flinch. Ranma was dumbfounded; there weren't many people who could take one of his kicks without even noticing. The guy was still groping him.

He startled when he heard someone yell "Hey! Ryu, what do you think you're doing?" from just behind them, and was even more startled when he was suddenly swung around and presented to Kiyoshi Kurosawa along with the words:

"Guess what Kiyoshi! I've found your wife."

"Wha…?" Kiyoshi Kurosawa looked a little bit surprised himself, "Ryu… Put her down!" He exclaimed after he had regained his senses.

"Aww… do I have to?" The guy holding him (that he now knew was called Ryu) whined.

"Yes! Now Ryu!" Kurosawa growled, his eyes flashing.

"Fiiiiiine." Sighed Ryu, finally letting him regain his feet.

Kurosawa looked embarrassed for a moment, before addressing Ranma with a gentle tone "Hello, I'm Kiyoshi Kurosawa, and this is my… brother… Ryu. Are you Ranma Saotome?"

"Yes, er… about that, well there's something you need to know…" said Ranma, trailing off unsure about how to raise the topic of his gender.

"So you're my wife. Well you certainly are everything I was told you'd be." Said Kurosawa, with a smile and an appreciative look in his eyes.

Ranma decided that it was best to tackle one of the other important issues while he was working out how to tell Kurosawa that he was a he. "About that, how come you say you're my husband? My old man says he never signed anything that looked like a marriage licence." He asked.

"Errr… well I really don't know. I was training in the mountains at the time, and when I came back mother announced that I had a wife, even if she didn't know where you were." Replied Kurosawa, looking a little bit concerned.

"So you don't know that much more than I do?" Ranma was disappointed, he had really hoped to get an answer to that puzzling question.

"Well I couldn't say for sure, as I don't know what you know, but I presume as much." Said Kurosawa with a gentle, humour filled smile.

Ranma turned to Ryu and asked: "Well how about you? Do you know anything?"

"Nope. At the time I was drunk, very drunk. And also elsewhere. With… whatshername… that cute American girl…" Ryu's eyes had fogged over, and his face was caught in a lecherous grin. Ranma wasn't liking Ryu all that much.

"So this was all a waste of time." He sighed, feeling his earlier depression begin to creep back.

"What did you mean before; when you said there was something I needed to know?" Asked Kurosawa, distracting Ranma and bringing his attention back to how he was going to tell Kurosawa.

"Um… well this would probably work better with a demonstration; let's go back to the Tendou Dojo." He said after a minute, making up his mind.

"OK." Said Kurosawa, smiling at him in a way that was making him uncomfortable.

"Sure, whatever" added Ryu

ooo

Happosai is moving across the rooftops with a big haul strapped to his back, he seems a little nervous and looks behind him every now and then but doesn't seem to be able to see anything in particular. He moves out of the scene going at high speed, and a minute later you see a magenta blur following him.

ooo

Kasumi was slightly nervous. She had a plan, and… well… it wasn't the sort of thing she'd _usually_ do. It was just… Ranma had so many people interested in him, and so did her sister, and even Nabiki was never short a date, but Kasumi… Kasumi was so often ignored, and he was _just her type_. What could it hurt really? After all, it wasn't like he was going to want Ranma when he found out that _she_ was really a he.

So Kasumi had a plan, well not really a _plan,_ but the beginnings of a plan, and it would start tonight. She carefully smoothed out the (shorter and tighter than usual) skirt of her dress, and checked herself in the mirror one more time.

She was wearing a yellow sleeveless dress made out of a soft, floaty material. The dress had a Mandarin collar, the skirt only came down to mid thigh and clung enticingly, and the neck (which had a row of buttons down the centre to under her bust) was undone at least half the way down. She had her hair up in a clip instead of its usual ponytail, and was wearing makeup (nothing over-the-top, but makeup none the less), as well as a pair of white high-heeled sandals on her feet. She looked good, pretty, delicate, feminine, everything that a man looked for in a woman.

She was going to do it, she was going to win Kiyoshi Kurosawa's heart, and nothing would stand in her way.

ooo

Things were awkward when they arrived at the Tendou Dojo, everyone (except a strangely dressed Kasumi, who Ranma had sent after a kettle) piled into the Living/Dining room and waited for someone to say something.

"Um…" was all Ranma had gotten out, when Kasumi came into the room holding the kettle full of hot water. She seemed to trip on something (in a strangely staged way) and the hot water went flying. The water splashed Ranma, and he could feel himself change back into his original form before he had had a chance to explain anything.

"You're that boy from earlier…" whispered Kiyoshi, staring at him.

"I can explain…" he said, but was interrupted.

"Oy! Watch it!" growled Ryu, flicking water off his… no wait… _her_ suit. Ranma couldn't help but stare, and he could see he wasn't the only one. Ryu had obviously had a run in with Jusenkyou at some time, which would make his explanation easier.

He was just about to say something when Happosai (oozing intense battle-aura) landed in the back garden. The old man turned sharply back the way he had come and brought his hands up in readiness for a fight. Seconds later an attractive, foxlike, middle-aged woman landed softly in front of him wearing an incredibly revealing magenta suit.

"Aiko!" Spat Happosai.

The woman smirked at him and said "Ha-pi" in a soft sing-song tone.

The old man pulled himself together and said in a serious tone "I've told you before Aiko Kurosawa, you'll never get your hands on the secrets of the Anything Goes school of Martial Arts."

The woman smirked at him, reached into her (barely existent) top, and pulled out a piece of paper that she held out to him. Happosai took the paper and read its contents with increasing shock.

"Too late, Happi." She breathed.

ooo


	5. In which people are pointed at and someo

Title: Ranma's… Husband 5, In which people are pointed at, and someone mentions babies.

Rating: Teeninsh… still

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, I swear!

Authors notes: Sorry about the wait. I promise the story isn't dead. I hope to get another bit out soon. Oh! And sorry this bit isn't as long as it could be (and is mostly a dialogue piece), but I thought the ending was good and portentous.

Also, if you are interested: ¥ 88, 235, 286 appx. US$750, 000 or AU$ 938, 549, 995. – or so says the Vista currency converter.

000

Happosai and the woman called Aiko stood there motionless, staring each-other down. Everyone else sat perfectly still, holding their breath waiting for something to happen… when suddenly: "Ahh! I knew I'd heard the name Kurosawa somewhere before" exclaimed Nabiki, "Isn't that the name of the new Hostess bar downtown?"

"_Hostess bar?!_ What was my precious daughter doing at a _HOSTESS BAR_?!!" Shrieked Soun, who was turning purple, if not demonic.

"Oh no… pops you didn't…?" he whispered, suddenly remembering where the name Kurosawa was familiar from.

"I didn't know what I was doing; _I swear _I didn't know what I was doing" Yelped Genma, crab-walking away as fast as possible, and looking as though he was going to all out flee.

"What? Hostess bar? What are you talking about? Uncle Saotome?" whispered Kasumi, who was kneeling on the floor where she had tripped absently mopping up the water she had spilled.

"I knew it! I knew it! I remembered that name from somewhere too." Shouted Ranma, reaching out and grabbing his father who he proceeded to shake; "We were passing through this town on our way to Nerima, and _you_ dragged us through the red-light district, and there was this _bar_ with this _girl_ out the front and you ran into a _streetlight_ and this bar had a sign that said "_KUROSAWA'S" ON IT IN GIANT NEON LETTERS!!!!_" He yelled, getting progressively louder until the last was screamed at his father.

"I didn't mean to. I promise…" whimpered Genma, who was cowering away from his enraged son.

"Your promises don't mean shit" spat Ranma disgustedly dropping his father and turning away.

"…" there was a moment of ringing silence before:

"If I may interrupt this touching family moment?" purred Aiko "Who the hell are you? And what's all this got to do with our deal Panda-man?"

"Do you have to call me that?... Look it won't work out, all right, you see he's…" Genma began, before being interrupted:

"_That_ is Ranma Saotome, my sister-in-law" smirked Ryu, who was lazily gazing down Kasumi's top as she knelt next to her/him.

"Ryuko, don't lie. That is not a petite, buxom, red-haired martial artist." Admonished Aiko.

"Ryuko?..." whispered Nabiki.

"Don't believe me?" drawled Ryu…ko? "Watch this" she reached into her jacket and pulled out a small insulated flask which she uncapped and splashed at Ranma before his instincts could get him out of the way. As he changed, Ranma saw her splash herself before putting the flask back into her pocket. "Now _that_ is a petite, buxom, red-haired, martial artist…. And Ma… I told you not to call me that. Ryu! My name is Ryu!" Ryu, back in her/his male form, finished.

"Shit…" Aiko was momentarily speechless, "Jusenkyo?" She asked.

"Yeah, training accident." Mumbled Ranma, who was busy glaring at Ryu.

"Well…" Aiko appeared to be considering something, but whatever she was about to say was interrupted by Happosai, who leapt at Genma virtually frothing at the mouth.

"Stupid! Stupid! Why the hell are you so _stupid_! Why the hell are you my _student_?! You! ARRGGGHHHHH!!!" he screamed into Genma's face from where he was perched on his chest, holding his collar, and shaking him. Which was a surprisingly un-violent reaction from Happosai.

"Now, now, Hap-pi. It's not the end of the world. Don't you think your Ranma and my Kiyoshi would make beautiful babies. Strong babies. Invincible babies… Just imagine what it would do for your school, for my late-husbands school…" Breathed Aiko who had swayed over to Happosai and Genma, giving the old bastards an excellent view of her amply cleavage. Which not-so-surprisingly calmed Happosai somewhat.

"_BABIES!! What babies! No-one said anything about babies._ **_I am a boy! No BABIES!_**" He shrieked, jumping to his feet.

"Well, yes dear. I know. But you're a girl now aren't you? And your father and I had a deal." Replied Aiko, who straightened up and turned towards him, her voice all business.

"Deal? What deal?... none of us really know what's going on." Interrupted Nabiki before Ranma could say anything else.

"This deal." Replied Aiko who handed Nabiki the piece of paper she'd shown Happosai earlier.

"Hmm…" murmured Nabiki as her eyes flew over the words.

"What does it say?" whispered Kasumi, who was still kneeling on the floor, but with her hands at her throat trying to conceal her cleavage from Ryu's eyes.

"It says: _I Genma Saotome promise my child Ranma Saotome to Aiko Kurosawa, to do with as she wishes, in exchange for the alleviation of any debts I may have to her, and inconvenience I may have caused her_... and look, you signed it at the bottom." Declared Nabiki, holding up the document so that they could all see Genma's messy signature on the paper.

"Um… sorry to interrupt, but this isn't a marriage license, it's not even a marriage _agreement,_ all it is, is a piece of paper that gives you Ranma in exchange for Uncle Saotome's debts. So why did _he_ come here saying he way looking for his wife?" asked a strangely pensive Akane, pointing at Kiyoshi.

"Oh _that…_ there's a saying _'Never let the truth get in the way of a good story'_, I do want Ranma to be Kiyoshi's wife, I did the minute I heard her name. Kiyoshi is shy… he has trouble with girls, and I want grandchildren. Someone to carry on my husband's school, and to try to resurrect my father's school. A martial artist from the school of 'Anything goes' martial arts would make a perfect wife, and mother. I was always told it was the closest style to that of my father." Replied Aiko with a slightly forced nonchalant shrug.

"So, he's not actually my husband?" Ranma asked pointing at Kiyoshi.

"No, dear. I'm afraid not." Responded Aiko.

"Oh, _thank God!_" he spat with vehemence.

"This thing is still a contract though," interjected Nabiki, waving the piece of paper.

"Well, about that… Things have changed, and I'm sure my old friend Tendou would be glad to help me pay off my debts to you." said Genma, who had escaped the distracted Happosai and was cowering behind his 'old friend'.

"I'm not sure about that, Saotome" hissed Soun, who was looking less that pleased.

"C'mon, I'll pay you back… I promise. When have I ever broken a promise to you?" wheedled Genma.

"How about that time you…" began Soun looking displeased.

"Never mind. I'll pay you back _this time,_ I promise. Ranma can't marry Akane if he's married to someone else…" interrupted Genma.

"Well… I suppose so. It's for the good of the school… How much do you owe?" replied Soun, still looking less that happy about this arrangement.

"Um…" began Genma, before he was interrupted by Aiko:

"This is a complete list of all that you owe me." She said, pulling another piece of paper out of her cleavage and handing it to Genma; who promptly went an unattractive shade of chartreuse and tried to hide it from Soun.

"This can't be right. I don't remember it being _that_ much." He muttered, trying in vain to keep it away from his friend who finally managed to wrestle it out of his hands. One look at the paper was enough to make Soun go snow-white, make a faint gurgling sound, and pass out.

"How much is it? Let me take a look." Said Nabiki who reached out and tugged the paper out of her father's unresponsive hands before Genma could stop her.

"let's see here…. Eighty eight _million_, two hundred and thirty five _thousand_, _two hundred-and-eighty-six-yen!_" gasped Nabiki (see A/N for dollar comparison).

Everyone stared at Genma wondering what he could have done in order to incur such a large debt. Ranma felt himself go pale, there was no way that his old man _and_ Mr. Tendou working together could pay that off, even if they went out and got actual _jobs_.

"How?! _It wasn't that much!!_ You're lying!!! There's _no way I could ever pay that off!!_" Shrieked a highly disconcerted Genma, who seemed to be barely restraining himself from attacking Aiko.

"Well, you see… the contract states that I get Ranma in exchange for all debts and inconveniences you have caused me. You running off without either paying your bill or handing over your… son… was quite the _inconvenience." _Purred Aiko, before continuing in a more 'business-like' tone: "I had to hire several private detectives to try and find you; which didn't work, and cost quite a bit of money. When I did find you I discovered you lived in an entirely different part of Japan, I came here to investigate and found it to be a nice enough town, perfect for the expansion of my business. So then I had to buy a new building, and have it renovated; as well as pay the salary of the woman I left in charge of 'Kurosawa's One" and, as you can't run a business without employees, the salary of several people who I thought would do well here. I had to buy a house here, in Nerima, and then transport my possessions and the possessions of my children… you also owed one of my employees a new 'hand-dyed, hand-embroidered' silk dress… and all this is not even taking into account the cost of all the whiskey and food you consumed in the first place. So all in all, I think I'm being quite generous with the amount you owe me…"

"… oh…" whispered Genma, who seemed to be coming to the worrying realisation that he wasn't going to be able to talk his way out of it a second time.

"So what you're saying is: there is no loophole, the inclusion of 'inconveniences' in this contract means that you can essentially charge him for the cost of everything since he skipped out on the bill?" asked Akane.

"Yup." Succinctly replied Aiko.

"Wait… this can't be legal…" Akane spoke up, looking both angry and peterbed.

"It's legal enough, in its own way. I'm sure Mr. Saotome doesn't want the law looking _too_ closely at his dealings." Breathed Aiko.

"No! No!...No police!" yelped a dazed Genma.

"look… I can't marry your son. I'm a _boy_. My female form has no legal identity…" began Ranma.

"Identities can be forged" interrupted a smirking Aiko.

"Even so… I already have a fiancée… well… _several_ fiancées. But! I'm supposed to marry Akane." He replied, pointing to the girl.

"Don't sound too enthusiastic" muttered Akane, looking sulky.

"Hmm… The money that your father owes me isn't just going to go away…" began Aiko, before being interrupted by Genma, who had at last regained control of his faculties.

"Look, you have a daughter" he began, pointing at Ryu, "How about we make her one of my son's fiancées. Give them a chance to get to know each other. Let him choose who he wants to marry after he's had time to consider them all. If he doesn't pick her, then we can come to some other arrangement."

"Daughter? Ryuko? You must be kidding. He may have been born female, but Ryu has always been my son (much to my chagrin). I wouldn't wish him as a husband on my worst enemy… Anyway, Ryu doesn't _like_ boys, he'd never agree to it."

"Nup! No way! Let Kiyoshi have the girly-boy. I'm _allll_ man." Leered Ryu, who was still nonchalantly ogling Kasumi.

"Ryu! Try to act like you weren't raised in a barn." Hissed Kiyoshi, who had only just noticed what his brother had been up to.

"Don't be a prude. It's no wonder you can't get a girl, _personality problem_ aside." Replied Ryu with a sneer.

"It doesn't matter; my son can't marry your son. My wife would kill us." Said Genma replying to Aiko.

"I'm sure she'd get over it. Once you explained about the debt." Shrugged Aiko.

"No! You don't _understand_; she'd _kill_ us. We have an agreement you see, if Ranma doesn't become a 'man amongst men' we have to commit seppuku." Implored Genma.

"'Man amongst men'? Doesn't look too much like a man from where I'm standing." Laughed Aiko, pointing at Ranma who was still in his female form.

"We're hoping to fix that before she finds out." Hissed an offended Ranma.

"Good luck with that, boyo." Replied Aiko with a smirk.

"Well! Anyway! How about… one of your children will marry my son, if he so chooses, at some point in the future, perhaps, maybe, if we can get around a few _tiny_ obstacles." Interrupted Genma.

"I suppose that will have to do for now, I'm in no hurry for the grandchildren, but don't for one second think you'll get away without paying me my due." Purred Aiko, with a dangerous glint in her eye.

"Ok, so we have a deal… you can go now." Said Genma, making shooing motions with his hands.

"I might as well, nothing more for me to do here." She said, before turning to face Happosai and breathing: "You coming Hap-pi?"

"Back foul temptress! You can keep your vile 'feminine whiles' to yourself" was the old man's uncharacteristic response.

"Oh Hap-pi, don't be like that… don't you like me anymore?" She simpered, in what Ranma considered to be a truly revolting display of seduction directed at the old monkey.

"Humphh!" Happosai snorted, before getting up and leaping onto the roof "I will be busy anyway… Wait for me my silky darlings" he finished before bouncing off in search of panties.

"Meh!" Aiko shrugged before disappearing in a magenta flash.

"…" there was a moment of stunned silence before:

"We'll just be going now…" murmured Kiyoshi, dragging his brother to his feet.

"Oh! Well I better show you out" said Kasumi, getting up and showing them out with a look of intense relief.

"…"

"Pops?" said Ranma

"Yes boy" replied his father.

"Prepare to die!" Ranma shouted, jumping at his old man.

000

(_elsewhere in Japan_)

A woman, who you can recognise as Nodoka, is standing outside of a fairly normal Japanese house, or what _used_ to be a fairly normal Japanese house. It is now a fairly normal Japanese house with a truck embedded in the front. A highly embarrassed young man is standing before her an apologising profusely, he seems to be indicating that he was distracted by something that he saw in the sky and accidentally ran into her house. She looks upset, but not angry, and you can faintly hear her ask "where am I going to stay until all this is fixed?"

000


	6. Half Naked Ranma

Title: Ranma's… Husband 6: Half-Naked Ranma

Rating: Teenish

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, I swear!

Author's notes: This isn't quite as long as I'd hoped, but it's longer than the last one. I seem to be writing again, which is good, so it shouldn't be too long until the next bit.

**_I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO HAS READ THIS STORY, AND ESPECIALLY EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED._**

Sorry for the shout, I just wanted to make sure you'd read it.

000

(_Nerima: The Kurosawa residence._)

Ryu watched with bemusement as his mother paced up and down the length of her recently installed, exorbitantly expensive bar.

"Insufferable man!" she spat, "What does he think I am? Stupid? ARGH!" she shrieked, throwing her hands up into the air.

"I really don't know what's got you so worked up. _You're _the one who let him get away with it… I'm surprised; I'd really expect you to be more insistent." He smirked, pouring himself a glass of her expensive Scotch.

"What could I do? _Men_ like him… if I'd insisted he'd have fled, and taken the gir… _Ranma_, with him." She snapped, before holding her hand out to him. He sighed and handed her his glass of Scotch, before fishing around for another tumbler. He wanted a drink.

He watched her take a swig and consciously force herself to relax. "Obviously we don't have all the information… Ranma is a boy, for one. He already has a fiancée… fiancées didn't he say? So… _fiancées,_ we already know one of them is that Akane girl… but neither of them looked all that pleased to be engaged. We need to know who the other one is… or other ones _are_. With a man like Genma Saotome you can bet that he's sold his kid to get out of _situations_ in the past." She spat, her distaste for men like Saotome abundantly clear.

"So you still plan on going through with this?" said Kiyoshi, startling them both. It was so easy to forget that his brother was there sometimes, he had that unnatural stillness that had so characterised their father: Renjirou "The Mountain" Kurosawa.

"Of course! I can't give up now, not after all this time… Not when I'm _finally_ getting somewhere." She exclaimed, looking at Kiyoshi as though he was mad.

"Progress or not, you're forgetting one thing… it's Kiyoshi that'll have to _get somewhere_, and you know he doesn't like _dick_ any more than I do." Ryu drawled, with his usual nonchalant rudeness.

"Ryu! Don't be crude! Of course I know that, but there has to be someway around it, someway to keep Ranma as a girl all of the time. It will be… _easier_ that way... for all involved." She admonished, her gaze going distant as she considered her plans.

"Now as I was saying… we _clearly_ don't have all the facts, and I don't like going in half-blind… we obviously need to find out more, find out _everything_." She paused for a minute, looking thoughtful – something that made him, justifiably, nervous. "The two of you will have to start hanging around, get close to Ranma, get close to his bastard father… get to know them, find out their secrets and the way they tick. This is not a battle we can afford to loose." She turned towards him and pinned him with a razor sharp look – his mother was always scary when she was plotting. "Ryu… you're better with people than your brother; ask around, see what you can find out from Ranma's friends and that family he's living with… the… Tendous?"

She turned to Kiyoshi and said "Kiyoshi, whether you want to or not, I need you to get close to Ranma. That… _deal_… I made with his father today? I'm perfectly happy to use _unscrupulous _means to get what I want, but it would be so much… nicer? More refreshing?... I don't know, but it would be a _pleasant change_ to get what I want _without_ interfering. So Kiyoshi… _seduce_ Ranma. Make him/her want you. Make him/her love you. Make it so you win, hands down, and there is nothing Genma Saotome, or Happosai, can do about it." Though her tone may have been gentle in the beginning; it was fervent and impassioned at the end. For a moment she looked mad, her eyes open too wide and her mouth caught in a terrifying grin.

Ryu thought that this was asking a bit much of Kiyoshi and Kiyoshi seemed to agree, if his ringing silence was anything to go by. Sometimes Ryu worried about his brother… no that was a lie. _Often_ Ryu worried about his brother. Kiyoshi could go days… _weeks_ without speaking, going through the world like a ghost, never really present. I suppose being the only one there when their father had died… watching him choke on his own blood for hours… could do that to a person. The easy chatter Kiyoshi had shared with Ranma Saotome earlier was an anomaly; one that Ryu had, at-first, taken as a good sign. It was such a pity that it had all turned out like this.

"Kiyoshi, _please_… cooperate with me on this. It's for your own good; it's for the good of us all." His mother pleaded with his brother.

"Fine." Kiyoshi whispered, before slinking out of the room.

"Why do things have to be like this?" she asked the heavens.

"Probably because you can't let sleeping dogs lie" Replied Ryu, to the question that hadn't been asked of him.

"I have to do this! You know that." She exclaimed to him, almost loosing her composure.

"Is family honour really worth it?" He asked, still holding onto his nonchalance.

"You don't understand… neither of you do. You have your father's honour… the honour of his family. When he met me I was a _hostess_, no… I was worse than that. That's how far my family had fallen. That man _destroyed_ my grandfather, the grief killed my grandmother and then my own father drove himself to an early grave trying to take back what had been lost to us. My _mother_ then promptly destroyed our remaining family scrolls because '_Martial arts are not a **lady-like** pursuit'_. **Not a lady-like pursuit!** Neither is hostessing, but that's what I was driven to when she couldn't pay our bills. So to me… yes, family honour is worth it." She looked devastated, raw, and childlike in that moment after she had finished her rant.

"He never worked out who you were, did he?" asked Ryu, who it seemed also could not let sleeping dogs lie.

"No… he never did. I've spent all this time over the years playing with the old bastard, and he never even worked out that there was a game going on. He thinks I'm after his _body;_ the old fool… though it was fun, that last time, when your father had one of his 'jealous moments' and tried to splatter Hap-pi across the landscape." She said, her face holding a combined look of amusement and infinite sadness.

"I miss him you know." She whispered, "He was so good to me."

"We all do ma." He said, his mind turning to happier days when his father was still with them.

"Goodnight Ryu. Make sure Kiyoshi is alright before you go do whatever it is you're going to do."

"You know what I'm going to do." He said with a smirk, thinking of all the pretty ladies of Nerima who could use some company for the night.

"I'm doing the right thing. I know I am… What the old man destroyed, his heir will help rebuild." Was the last thing she said before disappearing up to her room.

Ryu sat there for a minute, staring into his empty glass, before getting up to find Kiyoshi.

His brother was outside, in their small, paved back-garden, looking pensively up at the sky. "Hey bro." he called hoping to attract Kiyoshi's attention.

"Hmm." Was the only indication that Kiyoshi had heard him.

"It'll be alright. It's for the best… I know it is." He said, not really believing a word that was coming out of his mouth.

(_The next morning: same POV_)

Ryu had awoken, bright and early, in the arms of some girl whose name he couldn't remember, but who had a truly magnificent arse. He managed to make his escape before she woke up, hoping that his impaired judgement last-night hadn't made him choose a girl that would become _clingy_. His general policy was to choose girls who were after the same thing he was… a bit of fun.

He sauntered back home and into the shower, already planning his day. It was probably best is they got a head start on that 'get to know Ranma' thing, and his brother was going to have to get to Furinkan high anyway so they might as well go to the Tendou Dojou and have Ranma and co. show them the way. With this in mind he exited the bathroom, got dressed, and went looking for Kiyoshi.

He found his brother sitting at the kitchen table, dressed in his new school-uniform, and watching their mother with faint bemusement. Their mother was dressed in an embroidered silk dressing gown and was on the phone, seductively purring at whoever was on the other end.

Her side of the conversation went something like:

"Yes, yes, Jacob, I know you're busy… but I _really_ need somebody with your… _expertise."_

"You wound me! I would _never_ turn to Satoshi for such _delicate _work. There is no one else who has your _talent_ for forgery."

"No... Not _even_ Makoto."

"So you'll do it then?"

"I _should_ have all the requisite information by next Sunday."

"You are _truly_ an artist of the _highest order_!"

"Thank you Jacob… I'll send it to you on Monday."

"Bye bye."

She hung up the phone with a wicked smirk and said "Well… that's one problem out of the way."

"What did you just do? You were talking to Jacob." He asked, already more than half-sure he knew what the answer was.

"I just arranged a couple of things. Got rid of that little… _lacking identity_ problem. Soon Ranma is going to be a 'real girl'" She purred, looking pleased with herself.

"Well on that note, _we_ need to get going." He said grabbing his brother's shoulder and hauling him to his feet.

"So early? What about breakfast?" She asked.

"We'll get something on the way, we're going to start in on your little plan" he replied, dragging Kiyoshi out the door.

They walked along in silence; Kiyoshi was lost in his thoughts again so Ryu did what he usually did and watched the _sights_. Nerima was home to some real beauties, he thought, as a young mother ahead of him bent over to pick up the teddy-bear her child had just dropped. Yep. Some truly, lovely ladies.

They arrived at the Tendou Dojou in good time; Ryu was hoping that they could get something to eat there, as there was no point in paying for food if you didn't have to. That girl from yesterday, the one who'd spilled water all over him, opened the door when he knocked and stared at them for a moment in shock. She seemed especially occupied with Kiyoshi's school uniform.

"Um… what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I figured since Kiyoshi is going to the same school as Ranma, they could go together." He replied, vaguely gesturing at his brother.

"Er… ok, I guess?" She said, still not letting them in.

"Could we come in? Maybe get something to eat? We haven't had time for breakfast." He said, turning on some of his charm.

The girl seemed a bit flustered, he considered having a serious flirt with her for a moment – she was alright looking, but not really his type… too likely to get clingy.

"All right, I suppose. I could probably find you something to eat." She responded, ducking her head to conceal the flush on her cheeks. She turned and ushered them inside to the dining room, where the found the Akane girl, her other sister (Nabiki was it?) and their father sitting around the table.

"What are _they_ doing here?" snapped Akane, looking less than pleased to see them.

"_We_ are here so that Kiyoshi can walk his fiancée to school." Casually replied Ryu, taking a seat at the table, with his back to the garden, and encouraging his brother to do the same.

"What did he do? Get dropped down a couple grades?" asked the still hostile Akane, referring to the fact that Kiyoshi looked a lot older than he in fact was.

"He's seventeen." Spat Ryu, mildly loosing his temper.

"Can't he speak for himself?" asked Akane with continued venom.

"Oh…" whispered Kasumi, which confused Ryu. He looked at her and found that she was looking sort of dissapointed.

Before he could reply a whirling force of fists and feet came barrelling into the room. This turned out to be the Saotomes engaged in an early morning battle. Ryu assessed their skill and speed, and found himself reluctantly impressed, they were good… especially Ranma.

The fight continued, driving them out of the house and into the back garden; it only took a couple of blows before both Ranma and his father were in the koi pond, and look… his ma was right in calling Genma Panda-man.

"How often do they do that?" he asked, not really directing the question at anyone.

"Most days." Replied Nabiki, who had a strange look on her face.

The Genma-Panda climbed out of the water, stretched and plunked himself down next to the Tendou patriarch; he had already reached for a cup of tea before it realised that they had company.

A sign suddenly appeared in the Genma-Panda's paw saying: "**What are they doing here?**"

"Apparently Kiyoshi is in the same grade as Nabiki, Uncle Saotome." Said Kasumi, who had entered the room carrying part of breakfast. The Genma-Panda just shrugged and started to help himself to the food.

Soun suddenly snorted tea up his nose and began to choke.

"Daddy! What's wrong?" asked Nabiki at the same time Genma exclaimed:

"Tendou?!"

Soun, still choking, started to point frantically towards the back garden.

Everyone turned around to see what he was pointing at and saw Ranma, who had obviously not noticed their guests, kneeling on the veranda squeezing water out of her shirt… _bare-breasted_.

_Definitely a D cup_ was the rather ridiculous thought that swam through Ryu's suddenly empty mind. Kiyoshi was a lucky man; you could go a long way without seeing a girl with a figure like that… such a tiny waist and amazing curves; wide hips, round bottom, big breasts. For a brief second Ryu forgot he was looking at a boy. He darted his eyes at his brother, to see if Kiyoshi had noticed, and if the look on his brother's face was anything to go by then he most definitely had.

Kiyoshi had turned a bright, violent, red… Ryu could see that he was trying not to stare, but wasn't having much luck. Their mother had chosen well, Ranma was _exactly_ Kiyoshi's type… hell, she was _Ryu's_ type, and if he ever met a man whose type she wasn't he was either crazy, gay or blind. _Kiyoshi's fiancée, Kiyoshi's fiancée._ He thought frantically, and when that didn't work: _She's a boy!! Goddamn it Ryu, **she's a BOY!!!**_. But he could still feel a curl of arousal somewhere deep inside.

"_RANMA!!_" shouted Akane, thankfully distracting him.

"What?!" snapped Ranma who turned around and froze.

For long seconds Ranma stared at them; she seemed incapable of processing this newest development. Ryu wondered who she was looking at in particular, him or Kiyoshi. The moment was broken when the Genma-Panda lunged forward, grabbed Ranma's shirt and forced it over her head.

"Well…" said Nabiki, who had a sort of resigned expression "Ranma also does _that_ most days."

"_Nabiki!_" hissed Akane.

"Well he does." replied Nabiki, whose body relaxed into nonchalance.

"Saotome, you and I are going to have a talk" interjected Soun, with a meaningful look.

The Genma-Panda produced a sign saying: "**Later, Tendou**"

The rest of breakfast passed in an uncomfortable silence, Ranma, Akane and Kiyoshi seemed content to pretend that they weren't there, and although Ryu tried to engage everyone in conversation he was mostly ignored.

000

Genma watched his son, his son's fiancé, his son's fiancée, and his son's fiancée's sister as they left for school. What a mess. What a wretched mess.

He'd seen the looks the Kurosawa's had given his son when Ranma was showing his typical lack of modesty. They were young men, and young men couldn't be trusted. Which was not something he'd ever thought would worry him, but now… now he was worried about his son's _virtue_. Ridiculous! But young men weren't to be trusted.

He known, in an abstract way, that Ranma's female form was good looking. He'd just never really thought about how _good looking_ it was before.

If he'd been a young man that had gotten a glimpse of a girl like that half-naked… well _nothing_ on this Earth could have stopped him from pursuing her, and now both of the Kurosawa's had seen his son half naked.

He'd seen that look on Kiyoshi's face and he knew that there would be no stopping him; no sane man would turn up the chance to have a girl who looked like _that_ as his wife.

That Ryu had been looking too, and wasn't that a worry, he only hoped that Ryu kept in mind that his son was his _son_. Ranma was a boy; and Ryu "_doesn't like boys_", not that that was much comfort. He suspected that he himself would overlook a lot to have a wife that attractive… He wondered where Nodoka was, if she was happy… who she was tormenting now.

She'd been that good looking, and look what he'd overlooked until it all became too much…

He sat there, staring at nothing, still in his panda form for over half an hour, just thinking… remembering what it used to be like, once upon a time, when he was newly married and things looked bright for once. He briefly wondered where Happosai was, the old man hadn't come home last night, but it was better with him gone… Genma suspected life could get quite unpleasant when Happosai returned.

Like it was about to get, he had to go and have a talk with his old-friend, and he suspected that whatever Soun had to say to him wouldn't be very nice.

He dragged himself out of his fugue and turned towards Soun, only to find that his old-friend was occupied in a game of Shogi with Ryu Kurosawa. He was just about to say something when there was another knock on the door.

He found himself suffering a sudden bought of intense apprehension, which he told himself was irrational. It was probably Dr. Tofu looking for Kasumi, or that Ryouga kid if he'd miraculously found a sense of direction…

It was Nodoka.

She entered the room behind Kasumi, looking a little bit embarrassed.

"What are you doing here?" asked Soun, not unkindly.

"I'm sorry to intrude Soun, but I need a place to stay. There was an accident and I don't know when the builders will make my house inhabitable again." She said, and Genma just spent a moment taking the sight of her in.

"Ranma and my husband stay with you all the time and I was hoping they would be here so we could all live together for a while." She continued.

Soun grimaced and flicked his eyes to Genma before saying: "I'm sorry but they're on a training trip… they left last night. You said there was an accident? What happened? Are you alright?"

"Oh I'm fine. A truck crashed into the front of my house, but I was at a friend's at the time." She said, waving away his concern. "The driver was distracted by that strange apparition yesterday… you know that giant demon head that appeared over Japan. Everyone's talking about it; apparently some people think it's the first sign of the apocalypse."

"Oh…" whispered Soun, looking mortified.

"I stayed with a friend last night, but I can't really inconvenience her any longer; her son's coming to visit and she needs the spare room." She said looking a little melancholy, "How long will it be before they return from their trip?"

Soun looked uncomfortable, but said "I'm afraid I don't know… Genma seemed certain that they'd be gone for a while."

"Oh… then I probably shouldn't stay here. I'll find somewhere else." She whispered, looking close to tears.

"No! No, it's alright… you can stay here as long as you like." Said Soun, getting up and going towards her. He obviously wanted to comfort her, which was kind of him, but Genma just wanted to strangle him at that moment.

Now Ranma was going to be stuck in his female-form, with _Kurosawas_ lurking around…

What would happen if she _found out?_...

Maybe he could convince the boy to really go on a training trip.

000

(_Elsewhere in Japan, not that far from Nerima._)

There is a lonely figure walking down a lonely road… dust swirling around him with every step. There is a sense of profound loneliness and determination around this figure, and each one of his steps ring with purpose. Suddenly the figure stops, turns his face to the sky, and shouts:

"WHERE AM I NOW?!!"

000


	7. Poor, poor, Pchan

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 7: Poor, poor, P-chan

Rating: Teenish

Disclaimer: Not mine! No money!

Author's notes: This story has taken on a life of its own. It has! It was all supposed to be nice and simple: Ranma would get together with Kiyoshi and Ryu would be good and amusing… Only I like Ryu more than Kiyoshi… So today we will have a new category up here in the author's notes (drum roll please…)

Percentage of Likelihood That Ranma Will End Up With Various Characters Currently: 70 Ryu, 20 Kiyoshi, 10 Unspecified Other.

So it looks like Ryu is currently in the lead (though this may change.)

I will now proceed to thank you all for reading: Thank You!

000

Today definitely ranked high on his list of bad days.

Sure it wasn't as bad as the day when he fell in the spring of drowned girl. Or the day he found out that if his mother ever found out about the curse he'd have to commit suicide…

But it was definitely up there with the koi fishing rod incident, and was, in fact, probably a worse day than the day he was kissed by Mikado Sanzenin.

Now everyone thought he was a pervert.

A pervert.

He wasn't a pervert.

He _wasn't!_

_It wasn't his fault!_

But try telling that to anyone in this town.

It had started out normally: he'd fought with his pop, landed in the koi pond, climbed out and started to wring out his shirt… that's were it had started to go wrong.

_They'd_ been there… the Kurosawa's, and they'd been _looking _at him. Looking at him as though he was a _girl_,and looking at him like that was usually a sure fire way to get pummelled into a sticky paste by his fists.

He wasn't sure why he hadn't.

It had to be because of that Ryu…

Kiyoshi had been looking at him the way boys tended to, like every boy tended to, like _Happosai_ did, like Mikado Sanzenin had, the way Ryouga did when he was pretending to be Ryouga's fiancée (the Gods only knew why he did that).

The problem was that he didn't exactly know how to describe it… it was almost… _childish_. Like a bunch of little boys looking at chocolate, or the latest toy. Like he was something that they could own; not like he was an actual person, and he didn't like it… _Hated_ it, in fact, when people looked at him like that.

The way Ryu had looked at him, on the other hand, was different. Except he couldn't really say _how_ it was different. Ryu had looked at him the way he sometimes saw men looking at their wives or girlfriends.

Not all men though, 'cause some of them looked at their wives or girlfriends the way boys looked at him female form, but some men looked at their wives or girlfriends like they were something precious, something beautiful, and _yes_ something desirable, but desirable in a different way. A way that seemed to acknowledge that it was an actual _person_ that they were desiring. Or something… he wasn't sure if he could explain it.

Anyway! Ryu had been looking at him like that, maybe (he wasn't actually sure… but he thought so), and that was why he'd frozen. Sort of. Because… well… he'd never expected anyone to look at him like that, and he hadn't been quite sure of what to do. So he'd frozen… until his father had taken a flying leap at him and shoved his shirt back on.

And hadn't that been weird.

'Cause usually his old man wouldn't care if someone was staring at his son's half naked girl form, and even encouraged Ranma to use his looks to get what he wanted. But then he supposed that his old man wasn't going to get anything out of the Kurosawas, and was in fact trying to stop the Kurosawas from getting anything out of _him_. Some part of him wondered if his relationship with his pop was all that healthy.

But all that had only been the start of the epic badness of his day.

Their walk to school had been uneventful, aside from the awkward silence, with Kiyoshi trailing along behind them. That had made him feel weird because he'd been half convinced that Kiyoshi was taking the opportunity to check him out. So for the entire walk he'd been getting more and more tense, until it felt as though his shoulders were trying to become one with his ears. That had been kind of unpleasant, but no one had said anything so it wasn't _that_ bad.

Then they'd arrived at the school… and once more he'd frozen. Scenarios began to flash through his mind, and he put some serious thought into working out if there was a way to do this with at least _some _of his pride intact.

He doubted it was possible.

So he was going to pretend that the situation with Kiyoshi wasn't real, if anyone asked he wasn't going to say anything. He hoped that way to put off until the last possible moment.

He had been standing there staring stupidly at the school when Akane had suddenly reached out and grabbed his hand. He'd looked at her in surprise as she gave him a pained smile and squeezed his hand before dragging him bodily inside the school.

Everything was fine for the first hour and a half and then the whispers started. It was Nabiki… of course it was Nabiki. What did he expect? Wave money in front of her nose and she'd tell you anything.

So she'd told Kuno, who was probably the worst person she could have told. Apparently the tantrum he'd chucked when he'd found out that the Pig-Tailed girl was engaged was awe-inspiring. And loud. Very loud. So loud that more than half the school had found out about Ranma's newest prospective future spouse just from his shouting… and then promptly told the other half.

So everything had become really awkward, because for some strange reason people tended to blame him for things that _were not his fault_ in Nerima.

So now everyone thought he was a pervert. A pervert that had chosen to have a male fiancé. It sucked. It was made worse by what the girls had taken to whispering; apparently Akane's uncute absence of femininity had driven him into Kiyoshi's arms.

So now Akane was furious, and strangely enough some of her earlier paranoia had proven correct.

Ukyou's reaction was even worse; she seemed to agree with the girls in that Akane had turned him gay, _which he wasn't_, and was trying to use her _feminine charms_ to seduce him back to the straight side.

That was creepy, and kind of gross. He wouldn't mind… really… he didn't think… except she was being so over the top, and wouldn't leave him alone. Or stay out of his personal space… he _liked_ his personal space. What personal space he had these days, that was.

It was also making Akane angrier, which he just didn't need. She'd been kind of nice earlier, and he liked it when she was nice, but now her face resembled her father's in demon-headed mode, and it was kind of scaring him.

Neither Shampoo nor Mousse had shown up today as well, which was really a mixed blessing. It meant that he didn't have to deal with them, but it also meant they were probably plotting something, together or separately. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with their crap.

Aside from the fact that everyone was calling him a pervert… oh and that the boys were all avoiding him… Kuno went and challenged Kiyoshi for his '_innocent, pure, virginal Pig-Tailed Goddess, who (Kiyoshi) would dare lay (his) filthy deviant hands on_' during lunch.

That had been bad. 'Cause there he was thinking he'd have to defend his unwanted male fiancé against _Kuno_ of all people, and Kiyoshi acted like it was no big deal. In fact he outright ignored Kuno and his psychotic rantings and deranged bokken waving until Kuno said something to really piss him off.

Not that Ranma had heard what it was, in his position of trying to ignore anything that was happening.

It turned out that Kiyoshi had some intense battle aura when he wanted to, and had turned to Kuno with such intense killing intent that Kuno had fainted. Ranma would have found it funny, except it was helping to highlight how little he knew about his new prospective fiancé and what threat he might pose.

So all in all his day had sucked.

So now they were going home, and Kiyoshi was _still_ following them like some huge, hulking puppy. Some huge, hulking puppy that was probably staring at his arse. Again.

They were almost at the Tendou Dojou and he was just about to turn around and tell Kiyoshi to just _go away_ when he noticed Ryu, who was leaning against the front fence and having a smoke.

Apparently the older Kurosawa had been lurking around all day.

Ranma's already fragile hold on his temper finally snapped. He marched over to Ryu, with every intention of challenging him to a fight and smearing him across the landscape. He got as far as:

"You!"

Before Ryu reached into his jacket and pulled out his insulated flask and upended it on Ranma's head.

"What?! What did you do that for?!!" He, to be honest, _shrieked_ in Ryu's face, being proud of the fact that he'd remained a boy for most of the day until then.

"Heh. You'll thank me later." Smirked the arrogant asshole.

"What do you mean I'll thank you later?!" Ranma replied, reaching up and grabbing Ryu's shirt-front.

Before Ryu could reply Ranma's _mother_ appeared saying: "Ryu, I heard arguing. Who is it? Is it Ranma?"

Ranma quickly dropped Ryu's shirt front and felt himself blush, "It's only me Auntie Saotome."

"Oh! Ranko. You're still staying with the Tendous then?" Nodoka asked, looking happy to see him.

"Yeah. I don't know when, and if, I'll be going home." He replied, feeling guilty and unhappy that he couldn't tell her the truth. He just didn't want to die.

"That's nice; it means we can spend some time together. You see, there was an accident and I'm staying with the Tendous until my house is fixed." She said with a smile.

Oh… Well… _WHY THE HELL WAS HIS POP ALLOWING THIS!_

"It'll be fun Auntie Saotome." He said, thinking _I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die._

As they all piled into the Tendou Dojou Ranma passed Ryu and whispered "Thank You.", he figured it was only fair as Ryu had probably just saved his life.

000

(_Ryu's POV of the day and continuing where we left off_)

After Ranma and co. had left for school he'd thought the day was probably going to get boring. He'd been wrong.

It had been amusing watching Genma Saotome drive himself into some sort of fugue state worrying about their intentions towards the man's son, and then there was Soun.

The Tendou patriarch had been initially apprehensive, but when Ryu had failed to sprout horns, or pounce on him and try to rend his flesh, the long-haired man had calmed down.

Ryu found the older man to be pleasant company while he was waiting to see what would happen. They'd started a game of Shougi, for a lack of anything better to do, and Ryu was just starting to ask some subtle questions about Ranma's life here in Nerima when _she'd_ shown up.

Nodoka Saotome, Ranma's mother. Fortune was definitely shining on him today.

She's asked who he was and before he got a chance to reply Soun had told her he was a friend of 'Ranko's'… apparently Ranko was the name Ranma went by in his female form.

She was surprisingly pleasant, kind, and a great deal of fun once they'd gotten to know one another.

He'd had a good day asking her all sorts of questions about her son, and whilst she didn't know much about him in recent years she had a great many funny stories to tell about him as a baby.

It was nice; and he got a weird little thrill about annoying Genma Saotome, who was acting like the world's sulkiest Panda.

When it was almost time for Ranma to come home he'd gone to wait out the front. It wouldn't do his family any good if Ranma had to commit Seppuku before he'd married Kiyoshi.

When Ranma had shown up he'd had a face like a thundercloud and was still in his boy form; it seemed like Ryu's intuition had served him well. Things looked like they were going to get messy but then Nodoka had appeared, and after that everyone got really quiet.

As they'd entered the house Ranma had brushed up against him, all soft alluring girl-flesh, and whispered "Thank You" into his ear. Even though he'd said that Ranma would thank him later he was still surprised when he actually did. He was also surprised at the strong physical reaction he'd had to Ranma's body being pressed, even momentarily, against his.

Ranma was a boy, a teenage boy, a teenage boy five years younger than Ryu. _What they hell was his problem._ This didn't usually happen to him.

He was going insane.

It took an embarrassingly long moment for him to get a hold of himself, and when he had he noticed Kiyoshi giving him a knowing look. He didn't need Kiyoshi giving him knowing looks, he didn't want Kiyoshi giving him knowing looks; he needed and wanted Kiyoshi to focus on winning Ranma for himself.

Dinner was funny. It was. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen so many deeply uncomfortable people. Especially so many deeply uncomfortable people trying to pretend that everything was ok, and that they had nothing to be uncomfortable about.

After dinner Soun had brought out some Sake, looking stressed and claiming that he needed a 'stiff drink'. So Soun, Nodoka and himself had gotten gloriously tipsy as an incredibly jealous Panda watched on.

They'd been having a great time, which had apparently deeply embarrassed Ranma, Kiyoshi and Soun's daughters.

Kiyoshi had at some point wandered off, but Ryu wasn't worried: his brother could take care of himself.

Ranma and Soun's daughters had all gone upstairs to watch the television, and he'd vaguely heard Ranma complaining that he hated soap operas.

The Panda had stayed. And Glared. And looked as though he was going to murder them all in their sleep.

Eventually Soun and Nodoka had gotten tired, and made their separate ways upstairs and to bed. Apparently Nodoka was going to sleep in Kasumi's room as _Ranko_ was a restless sleeper and tended to kick.

He was feeling sleepy, content, and not particularly inclined to move. He was sure that he'd get up soon, but for now he'd just rest his eyes for a minute…

(ZZZ Ryu is now asleep)

000

(_Ryouga's day of __**DOOM**_, _dun dun dun…)_

Life wasn't fun for a perpetually lost, perpetually depressed, martial artist.

He was fairly sure he was somewhere in America, but for some strange reason everyone was speaking Japanese.

He'd be more concerned but he was once again preoccupied in working out how to confess his feelings to Akane, whilst downplaying the whole 'koi fishing-rod of love' incident.

He'd spotted a (vaguely familiar) statue in the corner of a shop and was about to practice his speech when he noticed the statue was bearing a sign saying:

"**I am not Akane; please do not confess your love to me.**"

That hadn't made him feel any better, because apparently Akane was so popular that people needed to practice confessing to her all the way over here in _America_.

He could never hope to compete for her affections.

He spent the next two hours wandering around in a depressed fog, before looking up and realising that he was standing across the street from the Tendou Dojou.

It was a miracle; he'd found his way to Japan all the way from America, what amazing things could be achieved by the power of love.

He started across the street with a spring in his step, happy that he'd soon see his one true love.

(_Sometime early the next morning. About 3.40 AM_)

He'd finally made it, and what an epic struggle it had been. He must have been turned around at least six times, but finally he was there, at the Tendou Dojou.

Only problem was that he couldn't seem to find either the bathroom or Akane's bedroom. He just ended up back in the room that Ranma shared with his father.

Giving up on finding Akane he decided that he might as well do something productive whilst he was here. Making up his mind he looked down at Ranma, who looked weak and vulnerable in his girl form, and cracked his knuckles.

He must have forgotten how difficult it was to hit Ranma when he was asleep, because he was getting nowhere fast. Getting fed up he reached down to pin Ranma down, pushing his hand onto his chest just above Ranma's breasts.

He was just about to bury his fist in Ranma's face when the door slammed open and he looked up and into the eyes of a demon.

000

(_And we're back to Ryu_)

A series of soft, out of place, thumps woke Ryu out of his drunken slumber. He looked around, not unused to waking up in strange places, but wondering where exactly he was.

_Oh... the Tendou Dojou_.

He was wondering what exactly had woken him up when he heard another series of soft thumps.

_That doesn't sound right; there must be an intruder in the house_.

He pulled himself to his feet, trying to ignore the beginning of his hangover, and made his way upstairs.

He followed the noises to one of the bedrooms, whose door was shut, and carefully turned the knob and pushed it open a sliver. He didn't want to go bursting into rooms if he was wrong.

He wasn't wrong. The room was Ranma's and there was a strange young man with a bandanna in his hair kneeling over Ranma's helpless slumbering body.

The young man reached down and put his hand on Ranma's chest and Ryu realised what was happening.

This bandanned freak had broken into the Tendou Dojou and was going to molest Ranma in his sleep… This must not happen.

He slammed the bedroom door open with a shout of: "PERVERT! RAPIST!" and launched himself at the young man.

The young man was trying to stutter out some sort of explanation but Ryu was not having with it. In desperation the young man flung himself out of the window in a desperate attempt to escape, but Ryu followed him without hesitation.

Ryu had gotten a good look at the young man as he jumped out the window and concluded that he was probably a martial artist. It didn't bother Ryu; it had been far too long since he had a good, satisfying fight.

He could hear commotion behind him which meant that his shout had probably woken up the rest of the household... which was good as it meant that the pervert wasn't going to be able to sneak back into Ranma's room.

An umbrella went flying at him and he batted it out of the way, while he was distracted he heard a splash and when the umbrella was out of his field of vision he could no longer see the young man.

He raced around the garden frantically, trying to spot the pervert, but he'd obviously escaped.

He made his way back into the house to find everyone standing around wondering what had happened; Akane holding a shivering black piglet.

He explained what he'd seen and for some strange reason everyone seemed to relax, except for Nodoka (who was trying to reassure _Ranko_), Ranma and the pig, who were glaring at each other.

As everyone made their ways upstairs, with Kasumi trying to convince Nodoka that it was alright and that nothing would happen to Ranko if she left her alone because 'Mr. Panda' was there, Ranma stopped in front of Ryu and whispered "My Hero.", gave the pig a vicious glare, and stomped the rest of the way upstairs.

Ryu was kind of confused, and turned on again; boy or not Ranma's female form was really his type. It was probably time to go home anyway, since the only kind of girls he was likely to meet at this hour definitely _weren't_ going to be his type.

It was a pity really; some sex would have taken his mind off his brother's fiancée nicely.

000


	8. The World According to Kiyoshi

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 8: The World According to Kiyoshi.

Rating: Teenish

Disclaimer: Not mine, I swear officer!

Author's notes: Well this got way out of control. I was just going to have a brief segment from Kiyoshi's perspective but then it took on a will of its own… and now I like Kiyoshi again. I really should have written from his POV before now. Oh, and this chapter is full of massive Kurosawa back-story.

Oh, and I wrote this entire thing in one day… ow.

I'm not exactly sure when I'll get another chance to write, but I hope it will be soon. I have another stupid essay due in four weeks time… but I plan to do it next week. Bwah hah hah hah hah. I hope I can stick to my resolution, 'cause it means (aside from another massively difficult task I've set myself) I will have a little time to write.

Percentage of Likelihood That Ranma Will End Up With Various Characters Currently: Ryu 25 Kiyoshi 65 Other still 10 (very different than last time)

I will now proceed to thank you all for reading: Thank You!... I've now worked out that I can reply personally to your reviews (I suck, I know) so if you sign in before reviewing I should be able to get back to you and thank you in person.

Other Note of Vague Interest: I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

000

Kiyoshi was not having a good time. Not at all. For a while he thought everything might be ok, but no, no way.

He and his brother had been dragged across the country to Nerima, they'd left everything behind (well at least he had, Ryu didn't seem to care where he was as long as there were girls), so he could marry this girl… who turned out to be a boy.

His mother drove him insane sometimes… and why did Ryu have to go along with her?

Sure when he'd first seen Ranma he'd thought _wow_, 'cause Ranma's female form was incredibly attractive. But Ranma was a boy, and Kiyoshi wasn't interested in boys.

Plus Ranma was entirely too much like Ryu's ex-girlfriend Kana. It was kind of creepy. Even though Kana was a complete opposite to Ranma colouring wise, they had the same figure, as well as the same sharp expression… Kana had not been good for Ryu.

True Ryu'd been a perverted idiot at times before her, but after she left him Ryu had let laziness and indulgence take him over. He'd been a real asshole for a while; womanising, drinking, never coming home, treating Kiyoshi and their mother like shit, and living off a series of rich older women.

He'd only started acting remotely like himself again when he'd found out about the spring of drowned man, and hadn't that been fun. Nothing like being dragged out of bed in the middle of the night and all the way to China so your older brother could take a swim that would turn him into an actual man. A swim that lasted all night… and would have lasted longer if Ryu had his way.

It had been really embarrassing.

In the end he'd had to wade into the spring and drag Ryu out of it. The guide had even contemplated charging him rent… but at the same time it had been kind of funny.

He could still perfectly picture his brother lurking in the spring like some sort of flashy crocodile and refusing to get out. As well as his mortifying scream of "I have a penis! I HAVE A PENIS! A PENIS! **YES**!!!!! OH GOD YES!!!" as he'd splashed around with his hand down the front of his pants.

Kiyoshi was very glad that the guide was the only other person to see it, although from the volume he suspected that villagers for kilometres around would have heard his brother's embarrassing display.

Ryu could be so mortifying sometimes.

But at least his brother now had a penis, which seemed to have calmed him down somewhat (did he really just think that?). Not surprising really, as Kana had left him because the pressure of being involved with a boy who wasn't a boy. Particularly when everyone in the town had found out that Ryu was born a girl.

Of course Ryu's friends had always known, but they'd always treated him as one of them. Considering that Ryu's female form was 173 cm (appx 5'8"), flat-chested, and very angular he already looked like a boy when he was a girl. It would take a sharp eye to see that he wasn't.

Ryu had always acted like a boy anyway.

It had driven their grandmother mad when they still lived in their father's family compound. Of course his family hadn't even waited until he was cold before chucking them out of the compound. His father's family had never liked Aiko.

She had been a hostess when Renjirou had met her, and they didn't approve of hostesses. His father had been headed for an arranged marriage; the Kuroswas had some prestige in the martial arts, and he would have been married off to the daughter of another such family.

Renjirou had gone against their wishes and married Aiko Aoyama. Kiyoshi and Ryu's parents had been happy together, and Kiyoshi's memories of life with his father were full of laughter.

He had many memories of practicing martial arts in the central courtyard. His mother would always watch them from the veranda, cheering them on and laughing at their mistakes, and always dressed in the most beautiful kimonos.

Their father was strong and serine (except for his tendency towards psychotic jealousy), and virtually unshiftable when he planted his feet. Kiyoshi had taken after their father, though he doubted he'd ever have the patience of "The Mountain".

Ryu, on the other hand, was quick, adaptable, and learned techniques as easily as he breathed. Ryu was also lazy, and easily distracted. He'd rather watch the serving girls than really put the effort in, and he was prodigious in that as well. By the time he was twelve he already had the head cook's daughter wrapped around his little finger.

There had been many scandals about Ryu's behaviour, and their grandmother had had no patience for it. Ryu wasn't a boy as far as she was concerned, and thus should not act like one. Because he had been born female he was also barred from ever becoming head of the family; which was stupid, because at the time Ryu was the best martial artist their family had produced for generations.

That was when they were younger; but years of practice and determination while his brother chased the girls, drank, and gambled, ensured that these days Kiyoshi could defeat him easily.

When Kiyoshi was twelve he and his father had gone up into the mountains to train, Ryu hadn't been allowed to go with them because their grandmother was attempting to feminise him again, and it was on that trip that everything changed.

After a couple of days Kiyoshi had been injured in a rock slide and had broken his leg. It had been late, and they were going to stay at their training site until the morning when his father would carry him back.

His father had been looking through their packs for something to cook when he'd found a little box filled with a couple of green tea manjuu.

Kiyoshi didn't like them but they were his father's favourite, so Kiyoshi had declined one and his father had eaten them both.

He still wishes that he could go back in time and stop his father from eating them. It had only taken fifteen minutes before the damage began to show.

His father got increasingly pale, and started to sweat. He could no longer concentrate and seemed to be in pain, though he didn't say anything to Kiyoshi.

All of a sudden he fell forward and began to wretch, bringing up half-digested manjuu and a horrifying amount of blood.

The manjuu had contained some sort of haemotoxin. Death by haemotoxin was _not_ a nice way to die.

See his father had a younger brother, Kisho, who had always wanted to be head of the family. Kisho had done the 'right thing' and married Sumi, a girl from the Ishikawa family… the _Ishikawa_ family were famous for their prowess with poisons.

Surprisingly it had turned out to be a love match; they were both as greedy, covetous and mean spirited as each other.

They had three sons; though there was a rumour that the Ishikawa family had a poison that, if taken while pregnant, would kill any female child before it was born but leave the males alone. It was a nasty rumour, but Kiyoshi could believe it of them.

Kiyoshi had been injured and unable to go for help… which he was actually glad of these days; the poison had been so rapid and effective, that if he had been able to go his father would have already been dead by the time he got back with help. His father would have died alone.

Instead he stayed by his father's side, he held his hand wiped his forehead and listened as Renjirou's breathing became increasingly laboured as the poison destroyed his lungs. It was an agonizing death, but his father had been incredibly brave.

The last thing he'd said, knowing that soon he'd be unable to talk, was: "It's all right Kiyoshi, some things you just can't help. I love you; you know that, and your brother. Tell your mother that my time with her was the happiest I've ever been."

Watching his father die was hard; Renjirou Kurosawa had always seemed larger than life, he'd always seemed so strong… having his insides liquefied by poison didn't seem like a fitting death.

It had taken four and a half hours, and when it was over… he was so relieved. It was terrible, to be relieved that your father was dead, but he couldn't stand watching anyone suffer… not like that.

The next morning he'd dragged himself to the nearest town on his broken leg, his father's body had been retrieved and by night time his mother, his brother, and he were out on the street… and Kisho was the head of the family.

They'd had no money, and the family had only given them an hour to pack. They'd moved around for a couple of days before settling in the town where they first met Genma Saotome. His mother had to sell her jewellery and her beautiful Kimonos to make enough money for them to rent a small apartment and feed them for the first few weeks.

She'd ended up going back to hostessing (and probably worse, he wasn't going to ask her though) and was rarely home. She was trying to earn enough money to open her own bar. It took her two years, but she did it.

He'd gotten really quiet… he was having trouble dealing with his father's death and it was hard for him at his new school, as they'd always been taught at home, and he wasn't used to dealing with non-martial artists.

Ryu, on the other hand, had taken to life outside the Kurosawa compound like a duck to water. Tall, lanky, feral Ryu became a hero among the boys of their new school… _even _when they found out that he was a girl. It was then that he'd met Kana.

Ryu was the head of a gang and Kana was the most desirable girl in school. It was sort of like Romeo and Juliet. Only this Juliet was a real bitch and Romeo was a lazy idiot that could have been head of the class if he wasn't so… so… self indulgent, or something.

It had all ended badly of course, and the break-up had been _spectacular_. Some of the things Kana had called Ryu… well, they hadn't been very nice… and in public too. Ryu had gotten all screwed up after, and had frankly become an obnoxious little asshole.

Which he'd remained for a couple of years before he found out about the spring of drowned man and dragged Kiyoshi to Jusenkyo.

When they'd gone home Ryu was different… much more laid-back, though still stupid. Kiyoshi was certain that Ryu had slept with every remotely attractive girl in the town in the first three months he was an actual man.

Kiyoshi had found it all highly obnoxious.

It had been six months later, after he'd come back from training in the mountains (which he still enjoyed, even with the circumstances of his father's death), that the whole Ranma thing had been sprung on him.

Of course his mother didn't actually know where his future wife was at the time.

After months, and the judicious usage of her underground contacts, they still weren't getting anywhere. It took an almost blind boy who turned into a duck before they even had a lead.

He'd turned up one day completely oblivious to the fact that he was in a hostess bar. Kiyoshi's mother had found him cute so she hadn't bothered to enlighten him.

Aiko had gotten him something to eat, something to drink and had lent him Mayu (aka Two) to listen to his problems. He'd spent a good couple of hours ranting almost incomprehensibly about things but at some point he'd mentioned the name Saotome in conjunction with Nerima.

They finally had a lead, and out of gratitude his mother had waved off the duck-boy's bill.

With this new information it had taken his mother half an hour on the phone to find out where Ranma was. Another two and a half hours talking to her various contacts had everything arranged for their move… his mother could be incredibly stubborn.

A week later they'd packed up and moved to Nerima… and inflicted themselves on Ranma Saotome.

When he'd shown up at the Tendou Dojou he'd been stupidly excited. From what his mother had told him Ranma sounded exactly like his type of girl; she was pretty, petite (which he liked… though he wasn't sure why, since it guaranteed that she'd probably only come up to his armpit), a redhead (which he also liked for some reason), but the most important thing was that she was a martial artist.

He'd had a couple of girlfriends before (he wasn't that bad looking and he was nice and tall), but it always turned out badly. Non martial artist girls couldn't seem to accept that sometimes he had to train, and so couldn't always be at their beck and call. He was pretty sure that a martial artist would accept his habits, and would probably train with him.

He'd had this silly fantasy about going up into the mountains with his new wife (his imaginary Ranma actually _wasn't_ as cute as the real thing, or as busty.) and having a great time training together. She'd cook them dinner (he really couldn't cook, though he wasn't as bad as Ryu. Their trip to Jusenkyo had been a culinary nightmare), he'd wash their clothes in a stream (he believed that a man should put effort into maintaining a house hold), and then they'd curl up together at night… it had been a sweet and ridiculously romantic fantasy.

Well that had turned out great, huh?... Anyway! Back to the Tendou Dojou!

His reception had been less than warm, aside from the girl who'd opened the front door for him and subsequently gone stupid and started to blush (not his type, too meek). The thing was, he'd worked out that they were acting suspiciously, particularly when he said he was looking for his wife (which his mother had said to say, laughing uproariously at what the expression on the 'Panda-man's' face would be), but he just thought they were trying to conceal the whereabouts of his fiancée. Little did he know, huh?

He'd left, conceding defeat for now, and had decided to get to know the town, as it was his first day there.

He just couldn't believe Ryu sometimes; the first time he got to meet his fiancée (not realising that he'd already met her earlier) she (as he'd thought at the time) was hanging suspended from Ryu's hands… Ryu's hands that had been clasped onto her breasts. The look on her face had been _priceless_.

Obviously she'd tried to remove Ryu, but Ryu could be an unmovable force sometimes.

The walk to the Tendou Dojou had been awkward, but he couldn't help notice how cute she was. She seemed really shy, and wouldn't meet his eyes (which he later realised was probably embarrassment on his behalf); he couldn't imagine how awkward it must have been for Ranma. She seemed really sweet, and for a minute he'd entertained what his fantasy would be like with her by his side.

Then it had all turned to shit.

His fiancée was a boy, a boy under the curse of the Spring of Drowned Girl. Not even voluntarily like Ryu, either, but in a training accident… There would be no sweet life training in the mountains for them.

It also turned out that his fiancée would have to commit seppuku if his mother ever found out about his curse. Which he was more than a little disturbed by.

Not to mention that Ryu had been his usual embarrassing self… he'd spent the entire visit with his eyes pointed down the top of the girl who'd opened the door… Kasumi wasn't it? You just couldn't take Ryu anywhere. Or his mother.

'Cause she'd shown up and been both _way_ over the top, and deeply disingenuous.

He hated them sometimes, 'cause even if they were ok with their ridiculous behaviour it reflected back on him. He'd wanted to apologise to Ranma, because it must have been deeply unpleasant for the boy… he sure knew that he wouldn't like it if it happened to him.

Eventually his mother had flounced off and he'd dragged his brother out of there, only once they got home his mother and his brother had started up with their stupid antics.

No matter what his mother's pride might dictate, it really wasn't fair to do this to Ranma. Unfortunately Ryu seemed to be on her side (which he was all too often, in Kiyoshi's opinion), so Kiyoshi was going to have to go with her plans (not that he was really going to put much effort in to it).

Eventually he'd slinked off and gone to stare at the sky. He liked looking at the sky, whether or not he could see any stars; it was cool, serine, calming… sort of like being in his father's presence. After a while Ryu had come out to reassure him before sauntering off to get laid. He hadn't been reassured.

The next morning was one he wasn't going to forget in a hurry.

He'd woken up, gotten ready for his new school, and spent about ten minutes listening to his mother plot with people on the phone before Ryu had shown up.

His mother was talking to Jacob, the reason Ryu had a legal male identity, when his brother had come down. It seemed Ryu wanted to drag him to the Tendou Dojou to harass his fiancée first thing. True, Kiyoshi was going to Furinkan High, but still… Ryu got entirely too carried away with their mother's plans.

He had, however, gotten to see Ranma fight.

Ranma was… well… there were no words for it. _An exquisite, deadly, whirlwind_.

He'd never seen anyone strike so fast; though both he and his brother were probably stronger.

At that moment he'd wanted nothing more than to challenge Ranma, to see how their skills would match up. He suspected that it might be one of the hardest fights he would ever have.

Genma's transformation into a panda had distracted them from Ranma, but not for long.

Oh God…

Ranma's female form was… well it was attractive, wasn't it? But to see her in such an unguarded moment… um…

He'd tried to avert his eyes, but fat lot of good that had done. She was kind of… magnetic.

Of course Ryu had also been looking, and he'd been looking with _that_ look on his face. That wasn't a good look for Ryu to be wearing when he was looking at _Kiyoshi's_ fiancée.

See Ryu had this certain way of looking at women at times (not all the time, because Ryu could also give women the most filthy leers)… it made them feel good, appreciated, _treasured_. Even when Ryu had no such intentions. Kiyoshi didn't think having Ryu look at him like that would do Ranma any good. It tended to confuse girls… especially inexperienced girls.

Not that Ranma was a girl…

The way that Ranma had reacted when he discovered them looking had been a good indication that Ryu's evil sex-magic had been working on him.

Kiyoshi was probably going to have to pummel his brother later.

Ryu would get all determined not to go seducing his brother's fiancée, but Kiyoshi doubted the resolution would last long. Ryu could be a bastard sometimes, and that was usually when he was letting his 'little head' do all the thinking.

Ryu would probably decide that it didn't matter who married Ranma as long as it was one of them.

Especially since Ranma was so much like Kana.

Not that Ranma was likely to want to marry Ryu; Ranma didn't seem like the type to like flashy playboys. Or any boy, probably.

But Kiyoshi was still slightly worried, as Ryu's evil sex-magic obviously worked to some extent on Ranma… he was definitely going to have to pummel his brother later.

As he'd followed Ranma and co. to school he'd noticed that Ranma was getting increasingly tense. It had taken him a minute to work it out… apparently Ranma thought he was checking him out…

True, he'd been looking at Ranma, but it was more about trying to figure him out than anything. When he realised what Ranma thought he had a sudden urge to reassure him that he wasn't going to try anything, but he decided against it as it would probably embarrass Ranma.

When they'd reached the school Kiyoshi had paused to examine it. Ranma had also paused, but that seemed to be in order to have a massive panic-attack.

A panic attack that would later prove completely justified.

What was it with people in this town?

Everything was fine until about an hour and a half in; when a tall, curly haired boy holding a bokken had apparently lost his temper and had begun demanding what relation he had to Akane Tendou.

Apparently going to school with Akane was a crime as far as the lunatic was concerned.

He'd found it ridiculous but had obligingly told the boy that he had nothing to do with Akane.

Everything would have been fine if it wasn't for Nabiki Tendou…

She'd told the idiot that she had some juicy info on the 'pigtailed girl'. An exchange of currency later and she proceeded to inform the boy that Kiyoshi was the pigtailed girl's fiancé.

The boy had promptly exploded.

Kiyoshi's ears were still ringing from the shouting.

Kiyoshi had made a prompt and intelligent to avoid this… Kuno? If at all possible. Which Kuno didn't seem to want to make possible.

The idiot had spent the entire day hassling him, and at lunch time decided to pick a fight. Kiyoshi wasn't having with it, and did his best to pretend that Kuno wasn't there.

So the Kuno had started in on the insult; which was fine with Kiyoshi, if a little irritating. But then he'd threatened to take his 'pigtailed goddess' from Kiyoshi by force. He was, essentially, threatening to rape Ranma, where everyone could hear him. Where _Ranma_ could probably hear him. Kiyoshi had snapped.

For a second he'd been in that wavering stage where any sound could set him off. Kuno's life had been in danger for a moment, but Kiyoshi's battle aura had apparently been so strong that it made Kuno faint.

Kiyoshi's inner predator had lost interest when the prey had stopped moving.

So Kuno was saved… hurray, or something.

Kiyoshi had found the entire situation incredibly irritating, and couldn't understand how Ranma put up with having people like _that_ after him.

He also didn't understand how Ranma could put up with some of the people in this school. Kiyoshi had heard the rumours that had started up about his relationship with Ranma, as well as people calling Ranma a pervert, and seen the other boys ostracise him. When Ranma had done _nothing_, and was in fact an innocent victim in all of this.

People could be so… _unpleasant_.

Kiyoshi had made it through the rest of the day not talking to anyone, and not just because everyone was avoiding him as well.

He'd followed Ranma and co. home, not really sure of what he should be doing, only to discover that Ryu had spent the day lurking at the Tendou Dojou.

He also soon discovered that Ranma's mother had shown up sometime during the day, and Ryu actually did something benevolent for once by turning Ranma female before he could be found out.

Of course that generosity was soon overtaken by the fact that Ryu was ogling Ranma when he'd whispered his thanks. Yep, must pummel sibling later.

Also Ryu had helped to get Ranma's mother drunk, which had been mortifying for everyone in the house under the age of twenty-one. Kiyoshi had to leave, it was so unbearable.

It was early in the morning by time Ryu dragged himself back home; Kiyoshi knew this because Ryu had woken everyone up to tell them about the strange boy who had tried to molest Ranma.

Who Kiyoshi decided was a creep who he would also thoroughly pummel if Kiyoshi ever caught him trying to do anything to Ranma.

Ryu had slunk off to sleep off his oncoming hangover, and Kiyoshi had gone back to bed. Where he couldn't sleep. This town was really too much…

Poor Ranma.

000


	9. Misunderstandings

Title: Misunderstandings.

Rating: Haven't escaped teenish yet, I don't know if we ever will.

Disclaimer: How many ways are there to say that the characters aren't mine, and I'm not making any money off them?

Author's Notes: Ack! I spent all day writing again. What is _wrong_ with me? I told myself I wouldn't do this again. Ow!

Percentage of Likelihood That Ranma Will End Up With Various Characters Currently: same as last chapter.

**I promised some of you an explanation of the martial arts in the story so here it is**:

Martial Arts in Ranma's… Husband?

I will start with an explanation of the two fighting styles relevant to the Kurosawas.

The Kurosawa Style

The Aoyama Style.

a. The Kurosawa Style is a style based on strength and stamina; it is neither a fast or aerial style.

They rely on their fists much more than their feet, and tend to plant themselves, unmoving, in one spot and wait for their opponent to come to them.

The practitioners of Kurosawa style are strong and unmovable, but slow.

They rely on their stamina to withstand the blows of their opponents while they wait for the right moment to strike. When they do, they strike with devastating force.

They have a terrifying capacity to tell when an opponent has let down their guard, even a little.

They are also known for their truly terrifying battle aura.

Renjirou (Ryu and Kiyoshi's father) made some alterations in the style to suit his nature, which he passed onto Kiyoshi… mainly an increased likeliness to pursue your opponent (Renjirou was prone to terrible jealousy that would induce him to attempt to _pulverise_ men that he thought were hitting on his wife).

This is Kiyoshi's style, and the style of his father; Ryu uses a combination of sped-up Kurosawa Style and street fighting. I.e. Ryu is more likely to knee his opponent in the groin, throw dirt in their eyes, and then whack them on the head with a lead pipe.

b. The Aoyama Style is a style based on speed and cunning.

There are currently no living practitioners, and all its technique scrolls are either missing or have been destroyed.

Various aspects of the Aoyama style were cannibalised into the Anything Goes School by Happosai. BUT, attempting to extract its techniques out of the rest of the Anything Goes School would be very difficult.

The Aoyama style is the style of Aiko's family. A style that she desperately wants to revive. The fact that both her children are trained in her husband's school is not good enough for her.

I will now clearly define _her_ plan.

1. She wants the heir of the Anything Goes School to marry her son and produce children.

2. She then wants these children to be trained in a combination of the Anything Goes School and the Kurosawa style.

3. This will of course lead to a new school of martial arts, which she will name the 'Aoyama School' (whether or not it actually represents the old Aoyama style) and thus (in her mind) she shall regain her family honour.

I will now go on to discuss the relative power levels of Ryu and Kiyoshi.

Ryu: Prodigal in potential but excruciatingly lazy. Never Trains. Once had the potential to one of the best but is now floating somewhere around Kuno's level. Not as incompetent as Kuno though. Still has a scary battle aura (which is what freaked out Ryouga).

Kiyoshi: Whilst not born with Ryu's natural talents had spent most of his life training. He is a good martial artist, and probably around Ryouga's level, but doesn't have the prodigal talent of Ranma. Only really scary when he looses his temper (which rarely happens).

Both Ryu and Kiyoshi (as well as Ryouga) are physically stronger than Ranma but neither can even remotely reach his speed.

A good example of the relative strengths of Ranma, Ryouga, Ryu and Kiyoshi is this.

Imagine there are ten very well constructed stone walls constructed one after the other.

Now we measure how many walls are damaged when each character hits the first wall (without using _any_ special techniques).

Ranma: 1st wall destroyed, 2nd wall damaged

Ryouga: walls 1-3 destroyed, wall 4-5 damaged

Ryu: walls 1-3 destroyed, walls 4-6 damaged.

Kiyoshi: walls 1-6 destroyed, walls 7-9 damaged.

**But**, if you measure the time it takes to destroy _all_ the walls, what happens is this:

Ranma: comes first, because whilst he is not the most physically strong he is _very, very_ fast. It would take Ranma appx 7 hits to destroy the walls.

Ryouga: is likely to come second, because he is faster than Kiyoshi but not as fast as Ranma, who he is stronger than. It would take Ryouga appx: 2-3 hits to hit the walls.

Ryu: would come last, because he's lazy and doesn't practice so his skills have atrophied and he'd lose strength after the first strike. So it would take Ryu appx 3 hits to destroy the walls.

Kiyoshi; would either come second or third; as he's both the slowest and the strongest. It would depend if he hit the wall before Ryouga had finished or not. It would take Kiyoshi 2 hits to destroy the walls, but the second hit would do further damage beyond the walls.

**Very Special Note of Great Import:** I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

One final point: WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

And Finally, Finally: Thank You all for Reading! I really appreciate it! Especially when you review (ok so that was a not-so-subtle hint, but still…)!

000

He was actually in the best mood that he'd been in for days. Hard to believe… but it was true.

True, everything was slightly worse than it usually was, and this whole 'male-fiancé' thing wasn't exactly… all that… um… well, he wasn't enjoying it much.

But! (Even though it might prove fatal) he was getting a chance to be near his mother, and (for once) someone _else's _intentions had been drastically misunderstood.

Poor Ryouga. Poor, poor Ryouga. It had been so _funny_; it still was so _funny_. It was just… _glorious_. He was almost cracking up just thinking about it.

He'd been having this dream in which Ryu, Kiyoshi and Kuno had been fighting over him like a pack of feral dogs fighting over a bone. Kuno had just pounced on his and was sitting perched on his chest growling on the other two when he'd woken up, only to discover the pressure on his chest wasn't part of the dream.

He was just about to _forcefully remove_ Ryouga from his personal space when Ryu had appeared in the room. The look on Ryouga's face had been priceless.

What had been even more priceless was Ryu shouting "PERVERT! RAPIST!" before chasing Ryouga out of the window.

How many times had someone assumed that _Ranma_ was up to no good in situations like that?

It was kind of funny when it happened to someone else. _Especially_ when that someone else was _Ryouga,_ who Ranma was less than happy with currently.

He suspected that some part of himself would never forgive Ryouga for the 'Koi-Rod of Love' incident.

His good mood lasted until he reached the dining-room (not having to fight his old man for once, since his mother was in the house), where he discovered the Kurosawas helping themselves to breakfast.

Didn't they ever go home? Was he going to come to breakfast everyday and find them sitting there? It was bad enough with Kiyoshi following him around every day… Not even Shampoo and Cologne were this persistent.

It was made worse by the fact that his mother was sitting next to Ryu and laughing at something that he said. He remembered now that Ryu had been lurking around all day yesterday… lurking around and obviously getting friendly with his mother…

Who knows what Ryu might have told her?

His pop would have stopped Ryu from saying anything too bad… wouldn't he?

"Ranko! Good morning! Come sit next to Auntie Saotome." exclaimed his mother when she saw him, patting the spot next to her.

"Good morning Auntie Saotome" he replied, sitting next to her and taking a minute to absorb her presence.

She was warm, and she smelled nice – like some sort of floral perfume and her slightly ocean scented laundry detergent – he found her to be strangely comforting.

He wondered what it would have been like if he'd grown up with her; would her presence have always made him feel safe? Which he did. He felt _safe_ sitting next to her (even though a part of him was terrified that she'd find out and he'd have to kill himself)… it wasn't a feeling he was used to.

He looked around, taking in the scene. It was strangely comfortable and he couldn't quite figure out why… he was sitting next to his mum, she was eating, Ryu was smirking at them, Kiyoshi was watching him, Soun was reading the newspaper and his old man was lounging next to Soun in panda-form… Kasumi was still in the kitchen getting various dishes and neither Nabiki or Akane had shown up yet. Ah! That must be it.

Nabiki wasn't there glaring at him, like she tended to when his mother was around, and Akane, and thus _P-chan,_ wasn't there making his life difficult.

He had obviously been distracted and not listening to his mother because she reached out and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Ranko… are you alright? Last night must have been very traumatic for you."

Her voice was filled with kind sympathy and for a moment he didn't know what to say. What _could_ he say, really? '_Don't worry about it Auntie Saotome, that was just my sort-of-friend trying to beat me up in my sleep… he tends to be a jerk like that._'

He settled on: "It's all right Auntie Saotome, stuff like that tends to happen to me.", which wasn't _exactly_ a lie. Stuff like that _did_ happen to him, he just hadn't defined what 'stuff like that' was.

"Oh, Ranko…" For some reason that seemed to make his mother even more worried and he hurried to think of something to reassure her.

"It doesn't bother me. Honest, Auntie Saotome." He said, trying to contort his face into an expression of total honesty.

"If… if you say so, Ranko." she replied, but she still didn't look happy.

Ranma was happy to just sit beside her and eat, so everything was oddly peaceful when the missing Tendou sisters showed up.

Nabiki behaved _exactly_ like he expected she would, and sat opposite from him and proceeded the give him the glare to end all glares. He was used to it so ignored her, though he did half wonder what she would do if she was in his situation… would she _really_ risk death just to let her mother know who she was?

Akane was still acting kind of weird form yesterday, and instead of saying anything, seemed lost in thought. Ryouga was sitting in her arms looking nervously at Ryu and Kiyoshi but otherwise oozing piggy superiority.

Ranma was still too amused about the "PERVERT! RAPIST!" thing to bother picking a fight with the pig; especially since his mother was there, and he was sort of trying to make a good impression on her.

The rest of breakfast was quiet, but it was an awkward quiet instead of the comfortable stillness of before.

It got so awkward that he was even kind of glad when they left for school, though he made sure to say a proper goodbye to his mother before he left… with Kiyoshi _still_ following behind him like a faithful dog.

000

(_Nodoka POV_)

"Oh dear…" she whispered as she stood outside the Tendou Dojou and watched Ranko leave.

"That poor girl." It was a tragedy really; Ranko was so sweet and the more she found out about the girl's life the more concerned she became.

She'd often wondered if Ranko was an orphan, since she never seemed to talk about her parents and was always at the Tenfou Dojou when Nodoka was visiting.

If Ranko wasn't an orphan she had a bone or two to pick with the poor thing's parents. The way Ranko acted made it patently obvious that she was lacking _any_ feminine guidance in life.

She knew that the girl was a martial artist but still… Nodoka had known a few female martial artists in her time and, for the most part, they had known how to actually be _female_.

Ranko seemed to have no clue. She hadn't even been able to cook until Nodoka had taught her (though the girl _had_ been a natural), not to mention the way she dressed…

Last night and this morning had only reinforced her concern for Ranko… to think that the girl was used to men treating her like that… frankly it made Nodoka shudder.

Ranko obviously had serious self-esteem problems. No wonder really, if she had been molested by enough perverts to find it no big deal when one broke into the house in the middle of the night and tried to have his way with her.

…

Obviously no one else was going to intervene so Nodoka would have to do it herself. She liked Ranko, she almost thought of her as the daughted she never had (she would have liked more children, especially a daughter… she always wanted a daughter), and she was, to be honest, kind of lonely these days… so it would give her something to do, as well as being good for Ranko.

"Something on your mind 'Auntie Saotome'?" asked Ryu, with a cheeky look on his face; he'd obviously come out to have a smoke… she didn't know why but she liked Ryu; she suspected that he was probably something of a wild one but he had been kind to her when she was feeling down yesterday… and he'd rescued Ranko last night.

"Did I say you could call me 'Auntie'?" She replied, with good humour.

"Why shouldn't I, we're almost family" he said with a cheeky grin.

"Family… what do you mean Ryu?" She asked honestly curious, and only just realising that she hadn't asked what relation he had to the Tendous, yesterday.

"Didn't I tell you? Ranko is my brother Kiyoshi's fiancée" he said with a strangely wicked look on his face.

"Oh… really… fiancée? That means that when Ranko marries Kiyoshi and Ranma marries Akane we'll be related through the Tendous." She replied, feeling at least a little relieved. Things couldn't be all that bad for Ranko if she had a fiancé.

"Mmm… its an arranged marriage. Our parents organised it. Ranko and Kiyoshi only met a couple of days ago." He said, with an even cheekier grin.

She felt her heart sink a little… If it was an arranged marriage then Ranko had nothing to do with acquiring her fiancée. The girl definitely needed help… especially if she was getting married soon.

"Ryu… I'm a little worried about Ranko. She doesn't seem to know how to be a girl…" she told him, not really sure why she did, or how he could help.

"I know. It's got me a little worried too. She's a nice girl but I'm not sure if Kiyoshi will want to marry her the way she is." He said, looking incredibly serious.

"Oh… Oh _no_!" She exclaimed, really worried now. It would be terrible if Ranko's absence of femininity drove away her fiancé. "What should I _do_?"

Ryu seemed to put some serious thought into it "You? Hmm… well Ranko obviously needs a feminine influence, you are probably the only one that can help her with that." He finally declared.

"I have an idea… but I worry that it would be too much. I don't want to overwhelm her." She said, honestly concerned.

"I'm sure that nothing you could do would overwhelm her." Ryu tried to reassure her.

"I think I should give her a makeover. She doesn't seem to have any clothes of her own, she's always either wearing that oversized red and black outfit or ill fitting things she'd obviously borrowed from the Tendous. I've also never seen her wearing any makeup… I think that the first step in making her more feminine should be getting her to dress more like a girl." She said with conviction.

She stopped to calculate costs for a minute, before making a decision.

"I've got a little money in the bank, aside from what I'll need to fix my house… Genma always used to send me a little each month, but I've been taking in washing for a while, and since I stopped hearing from him I've started doing more and looking after some of the neighbourhood children (although I can't do that currently), and then there's the money my father left me… I should have more than enough to get her a whole new wardrobe." She finished.

"No, no… Ranko is Kiyoshi's fiancée; I _insist_ that we pay for anything that you buy for her." Ryu exclaimed, with a highly determined look on his face.

"Are you sure?… it might get expensive." She replied, not wanting to inconvenience him.

"Completely sure! Ranko's Kiyoshi's fiancée, so we have some responsibility to her. Plus its not like we're in any danger of bankruptcy… Ma's business is booming and I've got a fair bit stashed away… though I'm not telling you from where." He said with a cheeky wink.

"Oh, you. Ok! So I have a plan. Good. Umm…" she said, not exactly sure of where to go from here.

"So will you take her shopping on the weekend?" he prompted her.

"No, no I think I'd like to surprise her… maybe give her something to take her mind off what happened last night." She replied, which seemed to surprise Ryu.

"So you're going to do this today?" He asked.

"Yes! Yes I will!... Kasumi should know Ranko's size, so I'll just go ask her. You wait here and I'll be back in a minute." She said, happy with her resolution.

She entered the house to find Kasumi, and was almost at the kitchen when she was startled by the sound of loud and uproarious laughter coming from somewhere in the street…

It was obviously someone laughing at a joke, and it must have been a funny one from the sound of the laughter. She smiled softly and vaguely wondered what the joke was, it sounded so amusing that she was vaguely sad that she wasn't in on it.

000

(_Ryu_)

Ha haha haha ahah ah ha ha hahah hahah aahaha haha haha ha aha ahaha haha ha hahaha ha aha ahaha hahaha haah hahaha ahaha ahaha

000

(_Back to Ranma_)

Ukyou was giving him the creeps. Not something he'd ever expected to happen, but there it was.

Ukyou was creepy. Creepy, creepy, creepy. Completely not like the Ucchan he was used to.

She was wearing the _girl's_ uniform.

Not only that but she'd obviously highly modified it because the skirt barely made it to her mid thigh and was about two sizes too small… and then there was the makeup.

Creep, creepy makeup.

She looked like some sort of evil, soul-sucking ghost… her face was slightly too pale, her lips were a horrible crimson colour and her eyes were heavily shadowed and outlined… he half expected her to leap at him and try and throttle him with her hair.

Creepy, creepy.

Of course her behaviour was the creepiest thing of all… See Ucchan was usually one of the better people for respecting his personal space, but now…

She was trying to sit on his lap.

It was the middle of class and she was trying to sit on his lap… not only that, but she was also trying to make him look down her top.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Akane gripping _P-chan_ so hard that she was half-strangling him … this wasn't good.

Akane had been acting a little weird lately, he hoped that she behaved normally and either attempted to beat him into a pulp or said something particularly cutting… but he was a little worried that she might so something unpredictable.

He really needed to do something about Ukyou, 'cause even if he sort of liked her sometimes there was nothing he hated more than people trying to force things on him, and she was really _forcing_ herself on him.

Apparently she'd taken her decision to use her '_feminine charms_' to un-gay him (which he wasn't in the first place) very, very seriously. This was something that he was not enjoying.

He didn't need to be _straightened out, _especially by someone that looked like _that._ If

anything her appearance would probably turn a lesser man gay.

Creepy, creepy.

He was looking forward to lunch, yep!

'cause Kiyoshi was so large and vaguely intimidating that Ranma was sure he could safely hide from Ucchan behind his new fiancé. Hey! Maybe Kiyoshi would be good for something after all…

Oh shit! Ukyou hadn't succeeded in crawling onto his lap so she'd decided to crawl onto the desk instead… the look on the teachers _face_. He really had to get out of here now.

He decided that he'd just go with his first instinct and leapt up, accidentally pushing her off the desk and onto the floor where she stared up at him stupidly.

"Sorry Ucchan." He shrugged at her, before running out of the room… he'd just have to hide until lunch time, 'cause this was way too embarrassing for all involved.

000

(_Shampoo POV_)

She was happy, her Great-Grandmother had been making her study for the last week and today was the first day she was allowed to go and see how her husband was. It was a nice day too, sunny but not too hot. She had a good feeling about today.

The day was so nice that she'd decided to walk instead of riding her bike. She was also going to try something new… instead of ambushing her husband and trying to force him to go out with her she was going to approach him subtly.

The other night there had been a couple at the Cat Café, they'd been fighting and had eventually broken up right in front of everyone… the man had said something that had made her a little worried.

He had said that he didn't want to go out with his girlfriend anymore because she was too bossy and always tried to force things on him. Which had made Xian Pu think that maybe the reason he husband was so hostile to her was that she was too bossy, and maybe if she let him think that _he_ was the one in control their relationship might get better.

So she was going to be subtle and meek… or at least she was going to _try_…

Though that hadn't stopped her from bringing (a totally innocent) plate of dumplings for her husband's lunch.

She smiled when she got to the school; _it was definitely going to be a good day_ she thought before easily jumping over the fence.

She made her way through the woods around the school heading towards where she thought her husband would be. Before she reached him, she discovered a hungry ghost hiding behind a tree…

On closer inspection she discovered that Ukyou-girl hiding behind a tree.

"What you doing Ukyou-girl?" She asked

"Ahhh!" Shrieked a startled Ukyou "Oh… it's you Shampoo."

"Of course it Xian Pu." She replied with contempt. "I ask what you doing Ukyou-girl? And why you dressed like that?"

"Oh, this." Said the Ukyou-girl looking embarrassed. "I'm trying to turn Ranchan straight again."

"Straight again? What you mean?" asked Xian Pu

"Well, you see… Akane made Rannchan gay, or at least that's what everyone's saying." said Ukyou, gaining confidence.

"What?! Husband not gay! Why you say that?" exclaimed Xian Pu, getting indignant of her husband's behalf.

"You don't believe me? Well just look at that." Said Ukyou gesturing at what she'd been watching from her hiding point.

Xian Pu looked at where she was pointing and felt both her jaw and the box carrying the dumplings drop. There was her husband clinging with determination to some very tall, long-haired boy.

"Husband _is_ gay…" she whispered before gathering herself enough to ask "Who that husband clinging to?"

"_That_ is Kiyoshi Kurosawa. He's Ranchan's new fiancé. Everyone is saying that Ranma is really, really in love with him." Said Ukyou, looking disgusted.

"Wait… you say Akane turn Husband gay. Why then husband in love with Kiyoshi Kurosawa?" Xian Pu asked, feeling that it was a valid question.

"Umm… I'm not sure really. But that's what everyone is saying." Replied Ukyou, looking uncomfortable.

"Xian Pu have to go think now." Muttered Xian Pu, wandering off the way she came and leaving the dumpling where they were.

Ukyou just shrugged after her and picked up the takeaway box and fished out the dumplings. If no one else was going to eat them she might as well, they would be the perfect accompaniment to her spying on Rannchan.

Xian Pu wandered back to the Cat Café in a daze. She needed to think… what was she going to do?

Her husband was obviously gay, if not in love with some boy… but she wasn't the type to let herself be defeated easily.

She sat down at one of the tables to think, earning herself a concerned glance from her Great-Grandmother. She stayed that way for several hours, going over all sorts of plans in her mind.

Eventually Mu Tsu came over to ask how she was… it was then that a plan formed in her mind.

Mu Tsu would do _anything _to make her happy…

She looked up into Mu Tsu's startled eyes and felt a grin overtake her face.

If her husband way gay? Well that was alright. He could be gay as long as she could have him too.

000


	10. Walking ‘Round in Women’s Underwear

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 10: Walking 'Round in Women's Underwear.

Rating: Teenish, of a mature bent.

Disclaimer: La, la, la: not mine!

Author's note: I can't keep doing this. It's 1.30 in the morning _again_, and I've just spent all day writing. _Again._

Percentage of Likelihood That Ranma Will End Up With Various Characters Currently: Ryu 10, Kiyoshi 80, Other 10.

Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. I hope I did Shampoo's voice ok, even more I hope I did Akane ok. I've been worried about writing from Akane's POV.

4. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

Also: THANK YOU FOR READING! THANK YOU EVEN MORE IF YOU REVIEW!

000

(_Ryu Pov_)

It had been a long day, and they'd gotten a lot of shopping done, shopping with Nodoka had been kind of fun, and for some strange reason the girls seemed to like a man who was helping (what they presumed was) his 'mother' carry her bags. Ranma wasn't going to know what hit him.

Ryu rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck… it was kind of tiring being a pack mule, especially since Nodoka had bought _so very many_ things, and apparently she wasn't finished yet. After this stop she wanted to go buy 'Ranko' some makeup, because, apparently, 'all girls should be able to apply makeup'.

Ryu snorted with amusement and casually looked around.

The sexy brunette in the short aqua skirt was checking him out again. Mmm, she looked like she might be a bit of fun beneath the sheets… and if not her then there was her friend with the bleached hair and tight white shorts… or maybe both of them at once.

Heh, heh, heh.

Ryu glanced behind himself and into the lingerie shop he was standing in front of. It looked like Nodoka was going to be a while. She had insisted that he wait outside while she bought Ranko some _foundation garments_; she seemed to feel that having Ranko's future brother-in-law help pick out panties and bras for the girl might embarrass her.

Mortify _him_ would be more likely, but still…

Ryu couldn't help imagine what 'Ranko' would look like in some of what he would would select. The image of 'Ranko' in nothing but a tiny red-lace g-string flashed across his brain and almost short-circuited something.

Um…

Ok! Let's think about something else. Sexy girlies! Sexy girlies who were still, thankfully, there.

He looked down and checked his sharply cut, charcoal coloured, designer suit, carefully smoothing out any wrinkles. The way the girls had responded to his white suit had him convinced that it was probably better to go with something a little less 'gangster chic' in Nerima. Nerima was not his home town.

He picked up the bags, rolled his shoulders back and strolled over to where the girls were standing, putting on his best seductive expression, and was almost knocked over by a very pretty young women with purpleish hair who was dragging a (familiar) longhaired young man behind her. Dragging the young man into the lingerie shop that Ryu had just stepped away from.

_Heh, poor fool must be her boyfriend. _That kind of girl looked like she could be hard on your wallet (kind of like Nabiki Tendou), pretty though she was… Ryu shrugged and continued on to the girls, smirking at the loudly exclaimed:

"Xian Pu!"

That came from behind him. Ryu wondered if the boy would have _anything_ left in the bank account at the end of the day.

000

(_Akane's POV – a first I know_)

Ranma was clinging to that Kiyoshi all through lunch.

Akane wasn't sure how to feel about that. She really wasn't. It was confusing. So many things were confusing these days. Sometimes she just wished that Ranma had never shown up in Nerima.

Before Ranma… before Ranma things had been different. She'd been happier. So much happier.

Everyone was saying that Ranma was gay, all the girls and all the boys… the boys were even avoiding him. They seemed to need time to deal with it. Worse was the girls though, because most of them seemed to think that _she'd_ turned him gay, so they kept taking her aside and giving her advice on how to be more feminine…

She didn't need that.

She felt bad enough as it was.

She could remember all the times that Kasumi had told her that boys wouldn't like her if she couldn't learn how to be more feminine… but no matter how hard she tried she never seemed to manage it. She seemed destined to always be Romeo and never Juliet.

Ranma had only made her feelings of inadequacy worse.

How un-feminine must she be if a _boy_ could act more like a girl than she could?

'Cause that had been one of the things that always puzzled her about Ranma, for all of his steadfast adherence to his masculinity, he could be… she didn't exactly know how to describe it, but he could be one of the most _feminine_ girls she knew.

Though not exactly feminine in the way most people would describe it… but sometimes when he was in his female form he was… well sometimes she could almost forget that he was a boy under it all.

He was competitive the way girls were… always trying to be the prettiest, he interacted with people like a girl, his body language was feminine, and he seemed to flirt as easily as he breathed.

It was no wonder he could fool Ryouga so easily when he was playing one of his stupid pranks on him, or that someone as… well, _thick…_ as Kuno could never see the link between girl-Ranma and boy-Ranma.

The only thing was that Ranma seemed to be completely oblivious to himself sometimes.

But if Ranma was gay… then maybe it wasn't _her_. Maybe it wasn't because she was too fat, or her breasts were too small, or her thighs were too thick…

Maybe the reason he couldn't love her, or even _like_ her was because of something in him. Maybe it wasn't _her_ fault.

Maybe.

Because watching Ranma with his other fiancées was almost killing her. Every time he greeted Ukyou like he was actually _happy_ to see her, or got himself involved in one of Shampoo's schemes, or played along with Kodachi… well, Akane felt herself get a little colder, get a little harsher, and maybe hate herself a little more.

She was jealous. She knew it. It's just that she wasn't exactly sure _why_ she was jealous.

She'd had a life before she was Ranma's fiancée; she'd had crushes on boys, and most noticeably on Dr. Tofu… and they were all _nothing_ like Ranma. _Nothing at all_. They tended to be gentle and kind… slender (which, she supposed, Ranma _was_), sweet and sometimes shy.

She'd liked Tofu because he was grown-up, he was _serine_ (except when Kasumi went anywhere near him), and he never seemed to hold her… _nature_, against her. But she'd had another big crush that no one else knew about.

His name was Botan Tanaka, and they'd been in the same grade before he'd moved to Sapporo.

Botan was not the sort of boy girls generally had crushes on. He was short, very short (in fact he'd been shorter than her), and really slender. He wasn't exactly handsome, and wasn't exactly pretty… but he was good looking in an average sort of way, if you ignored his glasses... big, coke-bottle glasses, sort of like Mousse's.

He was kind. Kind, gentle and sweet… but with a wicked sense of humour. She used to sit next to him in class and he'd whisper the most amusing things when the teacher wasn't looking… She'd really liked him, and somewhere along the line her like had turned into _like_ and she'd started to have totally _inappropriate_ thoughts about him.

But then he'd moved and before she could really get over it Ranma was on her doorstep… Ranma and his problems, fiancées and rivals.

Didn't anyone ever wonder if _she_ was ok with other people deciding who she'd marry for her? 'Cause Ranma sure acted as though he was the only one with a problem with it.

She was getting sick of fighting with him… but she wasn't sure how to stop. Maybe if she talked to him… maybe they could declare a peace?

She mustered her courage and gently put P-chan on the ground, knowing that Ranma didn't like her pet for some reason.

"Just wait here P-chan, I'll be back in a minute."

She headed towards Ranma, who spotted her and sort of half-hid further behind Kiyoshi.

"Ranma, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked, trying to project an air of sincerity.

"Um… Akane? What do you want?" He seemed nervous, but downright hostile.

"I just want to talk to you for a minute… alone." She said, trying to stop him from dragging Kiyoshi with him.

"I guess?" he said, not sounding all that sure.

"C'mon." she said, grabbing his arm and dragging him off when he didn't seem inclined to follow her.

Quickly working out where Ukyou was doing her inconspicuous spying and picking a spot where she _wasn't,_ Akane dragged Ranma into the trees.

"Akane… what…" He seemed trying to collect his thoughts.

"Ranma, look… it can't go on like this. It's _alright_; I don't care if you're gay." She exclaimed, hoping that if she was direct and to the point he wouldn't get too upset.

"What!? No! Akane I AM NOT gay!" He shouted, it seemed that any hope she had of keeping him calm was futile.

"Are you sure? 'Cause you haven't done that much to get rid of Kiyoshi." She continued, trying to be reasonable.

"Oh! So that's it! You are _jealous_!" He declared. Seeming happy with that as an explanation…

And she _was_ jealous, but she was beginning to think it was jealousy over the fact that he seemed to have found someone who was compassionate and understanding while she was still alone. _So_ alone.

"No! Why do you always have to say that I'm jealous! I'm _not_ jealous!" She yelled, beginning to loose her temper. She was trying to fix things, why did he always have to be so _difficult_.

"It's not like I can do anything about Kiyoshi anyway. He just keeps following me around." He spat, looking like a sulky little boy.

"Well you aren't exactly _discouraging_ him." She snarled, and knew things were only going to go downhill from there.

"What, you think I want him following me around?!" he all-but-shrieked in response.

"I don't know Ranma. Do you?" She asked, trying to get her tone back under control.

"No! This isn't my _fault_." He… wailed? Looking… well, she didn't like the way he was looking, it was almost _broken_.

"Ranma…" she whispered, sorry that her words had hurt him.

His momentary misery suddenly turned into intense anger and he all but spat: "I don't want to marry anyone! I don't want to marry Kiyoshi, I don't want to marry Ukyou, I don't want to marry Shampoo and I sure as _HELL_ don't want to marry _**YOU!**_" in her face.

She felt hurt, because there he was telling her that of anyone he could marry she was the last on his list. Why? What was wrong with _her_.

"Forget it Ranma… just forget it. I don't know… I just… What was I hoping to achieve anyway?" She whispered, walking away from him with her head down.

She went back over to P-chan, who was still sitting on the ground looking perturbed, picked him up and held him close to her chest. She squeezed the little pig and buried her face against his back, trying not to cry.

"I don't know why I bother P-chan…" she whispered against his neck. Letting the warmth of his little piggy body sooth her.

"I just don't know why I bother."

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

Ranma had been clinging to his side during lunch. Clinging to his side and looking around like a frightened animal that knew it was being hunted. When he'd asked why, Ranma had muttered something about crazy fiancées and that he wasn't gay.

Ok… well… Hmm.

He was surprisingly ok with Ranma's presence. Ranma wasn't demanding, or annoying… or an obnoxious pervert like his brother. And even when he was in boy-form Ranma wasn't hard on the eyes.

Not that Kiyoshi had any particular interest in other boys, but if he _had_ then Ranma would probably be his type. Ranma was slender, slight and sort of pretty. But the really attractive thing was the force of his personality… Kiyoshi could never bring himself to be attracted to _meek_ people. Though he seemed to have a terrible tendency to be attracted to _short_ people.

Although, for Kiyoshi, pretty much everyone was a short-person; being 190cm (appx: 6'3") in Japan tended to have that effect. But then he came from a tall family; Ryu's male-form was 186 cm (appx 6'1") his female-form was 173 cm (appx 5'8"), and their father had been a monstrous 200 cm (appx 6'7"), which made him look very funny next to their mother who was 153 cm (appx 5'0").

Ranma's _male_ form was about 163cm (appx 5'4"), but his female-form was only about 150cm (appx 4'11")… this meant that Kiyoshi more than towered over his companion.

Something had grabbed Ranma's attention and he'd moved closer to Kiyoshi's side giving a soft shudder. When Kiyoshi had turned to see what was worrying Ranma he'd found a very odd site indeed. A strange girl was hiding behind one of the trees and spying on them. A very strange girl indeed… she looked like some of the women that his mother had worked with before she'd started her own bar.

"Who's that?" he'd asked Ranma, who'd jumped, obviously not expecting Kiyoshi to speak.

"Oh, that! That's… umm… _that's_ Ucchan… Ukyou Kuonji, she's... um… she's, another-one-of-my-fiancées." Ranma had whispered, looking as though he was trying not to let Kiyoshi see how embarrassed he was.

"Oh. Does she always look like that?" He asked. Because if she always looked like a low-price streetwalker, then Kiyoshi could understand Ranma's embarrassment.

"No… no, that's new. She's… um… she's trying to de-gay me. Which I'm not! I am _not_ gay!" Ranma had whispered with vehemence.

"Oh… I doubt that look could de-gay anyone… and you'd have to worry about anyone it _could_ de-gay." Kiyoshi had whispered, half to himself, and was surprised when Ranma let out a little laugh in response.

Yep, Ranma was definitely no trouble to be around.

Of course that was before Akane Tendou had come over and dragged Ranma off to have a word with him, because when Ranma had returned he'd been _different_. Tenser, angrier, and he'd kept a little more distance between himself and Kiyoshi.

Kiyoshi hadn't felt that he knew Ranma well enough to risk his wrath by asking what was wrong. But he'd known _something_ was wrong. He wondered what Akane had said to Ranma to upset him that much.

They'd spent the rest of lunch in silence, but even if Ranma was upset he didn't venture away from Kiyoshi's side… it was such a pity that Ranma was a boy.

The rest of the school day had passed in relative peace, even if Kuno was making noises about challenging him again. Kiyoshi definitely felt that Kuno was the sort of idiot that it was best if you ignored. It was better for all involved that way.

Walking home behind Ranma was getting worryingly comfortable, and it seemed that even Ranma himself was getting used to it. He wasn't anywhere near as tense as he had been the day before, though Akane was more than making up for him.

He was enjoying the walk when he had a sudden sense of apprehension overcame him. He scanned their surroundings quickly to determine where the threat was coming from and saw a bicycle with two riders that was flying through the air at Ranma.

Acting quickly Kiyoshi reached out and grabbed Ranma's arm and pulled him out of the way. Ranma let out an indignant squawk before coming to rest against Kiyoshi's chest.

Kiyoshi felt his body naturally fall into a defensive stance as he scanned the new arrivals to determine how much of a threat they were. A small part of his body noted that he'd automatically included Ranma in his defence but he quickly waved it away.

He was startled out of his scrutiny when Ranma began to shake against his chest; Kiyoshi looked down, worried that Ranma was crying, only to find Ranma bright red with tears leaking down his cheeks and shaking with suppressed laughter.

He turned to Akane quickly when she released a strangled snort and began to giggle while pointing at the new arrivals.

"Mou, ha ha ahaha, Mou, ha ah, Mous, aha ha hah ha Mou-ou-ou-sse ssss ha hah ahaha." She said, or at least _tried_ to say before the giggles became too overpowering.

"Oh Gods! He, he… Mousse _what_ are you _wearing_?!" managed Ranma through his laughter.

Mousse? Kiyoshi looked at the two people on the bicycle… Mousse? Well he supposed that Mousse might be a girl's name… no, wait…

One of the people on the bike was a boy.

Though he didn't look like one. It was hard to look like a boy when you were wearing a pair of baby-pink short-shorts and a little white t-shirt with a cute fuzzy duckling on the front. He was also wearing knee-high sports socks and a pair of pink slip-on canvas shoes with white soles. His hair had been pulled into a high pony-tail leaving his straight fringe cutting across his face above his eyebrows… he was also wearing baby-pink lip-gloss.

…

O…K…?

"Saotome?... Xian Pu, why is Saotome here? You said we were going on a date…" asked the… _boy_?

"Silly Mu Tsu. You no want make Xian Pu happy?" said the other person who was with him, a pretty purple-haired girl with sharp eyes.

"Of course I want to make you happy, but what's that got to do with Saotome?" asked the boy… Mousse? Mu Tsu?

"This make Xian Pu happy." Declared the girl… Shampoo? Xian Pu?

"Shampoo what are you doing?" piped in Ranma, from where Kiyoshi was still shielding him.

"Xian Pu hear that husband now gay because of uncute fiancée. Xian Pu decide, because she good wife, that if husband gay then husband can have Mu Tsu while Xian Pu have husband. Then everyone happy. Yes?" said the girl… horrifying everyone else there.

"What! No! Xian Pu! I… you said we were going on a _date_, you didn't say you were… Oh Gods! I'm not becoming Saotome's sex-toy!" Shrieked the boy, leaping off the bike and putting some distance between the girl and himself.

"Mu Tsu no be silly. Mu Tsu love Xian Pu yes? Then Mu Tsu do what Xian Pu want. Xian Pu want Mu Tsu to make husband happy so Xian Pu and husband still get married." Said Shampoo, glaring at Mousse when he just stepped further away from her and began to hug himself and shake his head.

"No Xian Pu… this is too much." He whispered, looking devastated.

"Wait! Wait! Shampoo I'm _not_ gay!" interjected Ranma. Who was looking kind of concerned and angry at the same time.

"Husband really not gay? 'Cause Ukyou-girl say… and then Xian Pu see husband with tall boy… Who husband _still_ touching." Shampoo said, pointing at Kiyoshi with a sour look on her face.

"What! Ukyou… No she's mistaken, it's all a big mistake." Pleaded Ranma, finally stepping away from Kiyoshi and approaching Shampoo.

"Xian Pu no believe husband!" declared the girl… who Kiyoshi was beginning to think was a really nasty piece of work.

"Wait Shampoo. If you think Ranma is gay and you want to… _give him Mousse?_ Why is Mousse dressed like that?" asked Akane, who was keeping a remarkably straight head.

"Xian Pu no see why she have to answer question from uncute-girl!" snapped Shampoo, drawing herself up and crossing her arms.

"I'd like to know that as well. I'd especially like to know why the… _panties_, because I was perfectly happy to wear this (if a little concerned) if that's what you _liked_, but if you intended to give me to Saotome (heaven forbid) then why?" asked Mousse, who looked deeply wounded.

"Wait… Mousse, you're wearing women's underwear?" queried Ranma, who looked like he was going to start laughing again.

"None of your business Saotome!" spat Mousse at the same time that Akane hissed:

"Ranma!"

"What? I was just asking." Ranma muttered.

"Xian Pu tell why if husband want hear?" Shampoo said, batting her eyelashes at Ranma.

"Uh… I suppose so." Muttered Ranma

"See Xian Pu no know anything about gay people, but Xian Pu remember girls who come to Cat Café on weekends and read those sort manga and giggle. So Xian Pu find telephone number of head girl that she give to Xian Pu one day and call girl to ask. Girl tell Xian Pu lots of things, most confusing, but Xian Pu work out from girl that in gay relationship there is one who act like boy and one who act like girl. Girl also say something about height… shorter boy supposed to be girl? But Xian Pu decide that, even though husband shorter than Mu Tsu, husband obviously manlier so Mu Tsu must be girl. Xian Pu then give Mu Tsu makeover to make Mu Tsu girly so husband find him attractive. Makes sense yes?" Explained the (obviously insane) girl.

There was a moment of silence while everyone tried to absorb her explanation, and Kiyoshi was sorely tempted to use it as a chance to pick up his fiancée and get them both away from the lunatic… he might even bring Akane and her poor victim with them

"Ah… Shampoo? I don't think that real gay relationships work the same as those in manga." Said Akane, who seemed to be trying to reason with the unreasonable.

"Xian Pu no care what uncute girl think. Husband find Mu Tsu attractive, yes?" Shampoo asked Ranma, who looked queasy… though not as queasy as Mousse.

"No! Shampoo I'm _not GAY!_" Ranma shouted, looking like he was about to really loose his temper.

"Xian Pu still no believe husband… but if husband say he no gay then husband date Xian Pu." Declared the girl, getting up into Ranma's personal space and clinging to his arm.

"Umm…" murmured Ranma looking awkward and sort of like he'd rather chop off a limb than date Shampoo. Kiyoshi couldn't blame him, 'cause if it was him he'd chop off one of _Shampoo's_ limbs before he'd ever date her.

Shampoo propelled herself away from Ranma, glared violently at him and then hissed, "If Husband not gay then Husband should want date Shampoo."

"Err… Akane?..." mumbled Ranma, looking at his fiancée for help.

"It's fine with me if you date Shampoo. Why should I care? It's not like you'd ever want to marry _me_ anyway." Growled Akane, who was obviously angry at him and not inclined to give him a way out.

"Ok… I suppose. But just _one_ date! And only to prove that I'm _not_ gay." Conceded Ranma, looking as though he was going off the face the firing squad instead of agreeing to a date with a pretty girl. A pretty, horrible, evil girl.

Kiyoshi was kind of concerned, but he could sort of get why Ranma would agree to date Shampoo. Ranma was obviously having problems with the fact that everyone had decided, for no reason whatsoever, that he was gay. Kiyoshi couldn't blame him; he'd probably do the same thing in that situation. _Probably_.

"Ok! Mu Tsu no needed now. Husband date Xian Pu now." The (bitch) girl declared, grabbing Ranma's arm and dragging him off.

Kiyoshi had already decided that he was going to follow, but first he wanted to make sure that Mousse (and Akane, sort of) was ok.

"Mousse, are you alright?" whispered Akane to Mouuse, who looked as though he going to cry.

"I… I… Oh Gods… Umm… yes, yes… I'm ok Akane, thank you for asking." Whispered the obviously not ok Mousse.

Akane seemed to study him for a moment before giving him an incredibly sweet smile and saying "Well Mousse, how about you and I go on a date as well? That would show 'em huh?"

"Wha…? A date? With _you_?... Umm…" he replied, completely lost for words.

"I didn't mean it like that. Maybe if Shampoo sees you having fun with someone else she'll get what she's missing." Said Akane gently, still smiling at Mousse.

"Um… I guess?" He whispered, still obviously confused.

"Ok!... well shall we go then?" she said, shifting P-chan into one arm and holding the other out to him. He hesitantly took it and they started walking towards where Shampoo had dragged Ranma.

Kiyoshi shrugged, it had been a _weird_ day, and started to casually follow behind them all.

000


	11. The Lunatic’s Guide to Dating

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 11: Dating with Lunatics.

Rating: Teenish still.

Disclaimer: Fear me for these characters are not mine, Bwah hah hah hah hah.

Author's notes: La, la, la… In no way whatsoever am I deeply tempted to pair up Mousse and Akane, nope not at all…

I couldn't get much time to write yesterday so I only got the Kasumi part written then, the rest of it was done today. It's not 1.30 AM for once, but that just means I'll probably start the next bit…

Percentage of Likelihood That Ranma Will End Up With Various Characters Currently: Kiyoshi 85 Ryu 10 Other 5

Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

000

(_Kasumi POV_)

Auntie Saotome had asked her the most peculiar question… Kasumi had a horrible feeling that Ryu Kurosawa was up to something…

She'd been startled out of her morning preparations by the most obnoxiously loud laughter, which she just _knew_ was Ryu, before Auntie Saotome had appeared in the kitchen.

Auntie Saotome had asked 'Ranko's' size… that meant that Auntie Saotome was planning on buying 'Ranko' clothes. Which was probably a good idea really, Ranma's usual outfit didn't fit his female form properly and no one in the house was her size.

It's just that Kasumi was a little worried about the sort of clothes Auntie Saotome would buy. Ranma was a martial artist… a martial artist that tended to be challenged frequently. Kasumi could only hope that what Auntie Saotome bought 'her' was practical as well as pretty.

Kasumi checked one final time to make sure she had everything. Yes, everything was in order. She was running late as it was and couldn't afford to dither, so she picked up her heavily laden basket and hurried towards the front door.

She stuck her head in to say goodbye to her father as she left and found him playing Shougi was Uncle Saotome's panda form. She shook her head as she locked the door behind her, _oh well, what_ _could you do?_ He was supposed to be giving Uncle Saotome a lecture on family responsibility, but instead he was playing Shougi.

As strange as it was, Uncle Saotome was actually good for her father. He had never been the same after their mother had died, and year after year he had only gotten worse.

Before Ranma and his father had arrived her father had spent most of the day in bed or staring at the wall… he tried to hide his depression from Nabiki and Akane so Kasumi was the only one who knew how bad it had become… and it had been _bad_.

She remembered what it was like _before_, when the Tendou Dojou had been filled with students and her father had been a _master_ of the art.

It was a pity that he'd lost his passion for teaching when their mother died, though he had tried for a while before she'd ruined it all…

It really was a pity, Akane had such potential, she could have been a martial artist of Ranma's calibre, but she was never trained properly. Most of what she knew she'd had to teach herself.

Kasumi was feeling increasingly guilty about it these days. After all _she_ was the only Tendou daughter who had any proper training.

When she was younger she'd thought she was doing the right thing by trying to make Akane more feminine. By discouraging the… well… _masculine_ hobbies she enjoyed, correcting her on her boyish body-language, and telling her that boys wouldn't like unless she acted more like a girl.

After all, the boys hadn't liked Kasumi when she was still pursuing martial arts. Well, to be _honest_, it wasn't the _boys _but her first _boyfriend_ who had convinced her that the martial arts weren't worth it.

On reflection he hadn't been a very nice person, and by the time they'd broken up Kasumi had been something of a mess. It wasn't only the martial arts that she'd given up for him.

Life would have been very hard for them all if she hadn't had a miscarriage.

She'd never told anyone, but _who_ could she tell? She'd only been _fourteen_; her father had been losing it and her mother was dead…

But there was no use dwelling on it. The only thing was… she was beginning to regret the decisions that she'd made back then.

If she'd kept training, their life wouldn't be like it was now… Even though their father had stopped training his other pupils after their mother had died, he'd kept training his daughters until Kasumi had rejected the art.

Well… training Kasumi and Akane; Nabiki would chuck a tantrum every time anyone even _suggested_ that she should have anything to do with martial arts.

Nabiki was wilful that way.

But if she'd kept training then maybe she could have been something more than a substitute for their mother, maybe she could have had a life of her own, instead of an existence permanently tied to the house she grew up in.

She had been good… not great… but _good_. She would never have had the talent of Ranma… or even most of his rivals/fiancées, or even the wasted potential of Akane, but she would have been good enough.

Certainly good enough to take over the Dojou from her father. Which would mean they had a steady source of income; instead of living week by week off what Nabiki would contribute and what she could earn herself.

Nabiki had always been selfish… Kasumi couldn't really blame her, but it sometimes made her angry that Nabiki always had the best things while Kasumi struggled to ensure that the house didn't fall down around them.

But then Nabiki's money was Nabiki's money. She'd earned it, fair and square, or as fair as you got when it was mostly from selling photos of half-naked girls (she wasn't sure if that counted as soft-core pornography, but she suspected it did), trading information, and extortion… as well as taking advantage of foolish boys who wanted to date her.

She was just glad that Nabiki gave her _some_ money. The rest she had to earn herself. Although Uncle Saotome gave her a little every now and then, when he was sweeping or doing repairs around the neighbourhood. But when he did he usually just smiled at her and told her to get herself something nice… Uncle Saotome could be a confusing man.

It was hard managing resources and making sure a little went a long way, but (ironically) it was her talent in the area that netted them the most money these days…

There were a surprisingly large number of women living near the Tendou Dojou that also had take care of a family with limited resources… a large number of which had actually been _classmates_ of Kasumi's.

Many of them were girl's who'd wanted something more out of life; they'd spent their early lives being cosseted by loving parents and focusing on being something _more_ when they grew up.

Many of them had no real experience cooking, cleaning, mending, doing the washing, doing the ironing or doing any of the things that Kasumi had been doing since her mother died. They didn't know how to make the most of things, or save up for what was really important…

They were other girls that life had passed by… girl's who'd gotten pregnant, or who's marks weren't good enough, or weren't confident enough, or a myriad of other things that meant they'd gotten married and had children instead of following their grand plans.

It was all due to one of her school friends, Tomoko, who had rung her up one day in a panic. Tomoko couldn't cook, she was even worse than Akane (if such a thing was possible), and what's more she came from a relatively rich family that had chucked her out when she got pregnant to her boyfriend Akira (also a classmate of Kasumi's), so she didn't have any idea how to manage money.

Tomoko and Akira had gotten married, Akira had gotten a low-paying job and they'd rented a tiny apartment. Only Tomoko couldn't cope. It was all too hard for her, so knowing that she needed help she'd rung Kasumi.

She'd begged Kasumi to teach her how to cook and take care of a household, offering to pay Kasumi for her efforts. Even though Tomoko couldn't pay her very much it was enough to help them get by… and then she'd started to get calls from other girl's she'd gone to school with also begging for help (she'd almost forgotten that Tomoko was the school gossip), and it had all gone on from there.

She taught them to cook, she taught them to clean, she taught them everything they needed to know to run a house. And they payed her. What's more the word got around, so when her first students felt comfortable enough to stand on their own, new students would ring her up and ask for help.

But still, some weeks she was earning next to nothing.

She didn't know how she felt about it, but being the perfect (husbandless) wife seemed to be her destiny.

She pulled herself out of her thoughts as she found herself standing in front of Tomoko's house. Tomoko still couldn't cook, so they'd reached a compromise. Once a week Kasumi would come around and cook up enough meals to last the week, which Tomoko would then freeze and re-heat when needed.

Kasumi smiled to herself… she liked spending time with her students; the person she was when she was with them made her happy.

Tomoko, with a toddler on each hip, smiled as she greeted Kasumi and let her into her very-clean apartment. Kasumi smiled at the twins with a touch of envy… part of her still wanted her own family, but she'd decided to give up on Kiyoshi Kurosawa… she had never liked younger men, and it was a foolish fantasy in the first place. She could tell that he was already smitten with Ranma, whether or not he'd ever admit it.

Maybe… maybe she'd been wrong. Maybe it didn't matter what the boys thought as long as you were happy with yourself.

Maybe that was something she should tell Akane.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

After the third time Mousse had run into something she'd made him put on his glasses… which meant that she was now on a date with a cross-dressing boy wearing a sickeningly cute pink and white outfit and huge coke-bottle glasses.

…

Well… she sort of hoped nobody saw her, but what did it matter if they did? The girls in her class were never happy with her no matter what she did.

Mousse looked incredibly embarrassed; he'd even offered to stop by the Cat Café and find something else to wear, but then they'd have lost Shampoo and Ranma.

She'd done her best to reassure him, as he almost seemed more anxious on her behalf than on his own, but it didn't seem to be working. It was starting to feel like she was on a date with a very shy girl.

The whole thing with Shampoo forcing him to cross-dress and intending to give him to Ranma as some sort of sex toy seemed to have damaged Mousse's confidence. He was being very quiet and all but clinging to her side.

The date so far had been… interesting.

They were mainly following Ranma and Shampoo around and trying to look like they were having a good time. Though watching Shampoo with Ranma _was_ kind of amusing.

Shampoo was clinging to Ranma's arm and dragging him around, which was normal, but the expression on Ranma's _face_. Well, he'd never had a good poker face… He looked as though some sort of slimy deep-sea creature had attached itself to him.

It was _funny_. Especially since Akane didn't seem to be suffering from the all-encompassing jealousy that usually blinded her to Ranma's discomfort in such situations.

It was especially funny how Shampoo kept dragging Ranma over to store windows and pointing out things that she's like. Ranma had no money. He never had any money. When Ranma wanted something for himself he'd usually turn female and tried to convince someone to buy it for him.

She'd decided that if their (meaning herself and Mousse's) date was going to make any impression on Shampoo then it would have to outdo Shampoo's date with Mousse.

The thing was, Mousse didn't have any money on him either. It seemed that Shampoo had taken it all to pay for the ridiculous outfit he was wearing.

How… well, Akane had never liked Shampoo, and Shampoo never failed to prove how un-likable she could be.

So… well Akane really was feeling like she was on a date with a very shy girl, a date in which she was the boy…

So if they were going to outdo Shampoo… then _she'd_ have to pay for everything. She suspected that nothing would annoy Shampoo more than Akane's date with Mousse having all the things that her date with Ranma couldn't have because Ranma was broke.

Akane had a little money of her own, which she earned by demanding that Nabiki give her a percentage from every picture she sold of Akane. Nabiki had quickly agreed, since the mood Akane was in when she asked hadn't been… _pretty_. So it wasn't as though she couldn't afford to. It was just… that wasn't the way dates were supposed to go.

The boy was supposed to pay for everything on the date… or at least that's what the girls in her class said.

Oh well. In life you had to be adaptable.

She rearranged P-chan and grabbed Mousse's arm, which earned her the startled look he gave every time she touched him, and dragged him over to the shop front that Shampoo had just dragged Ranma away from in disgust.

It was a jewellery shop.

She examined the row upon row of pretty sparkly things and wondered exactly how she was going to handle this… Shampoo had spent an inordinately long time in front of the store gushing at things and pointing them out to (an incredibly bored) Ranma.

Obviously Shampoo had wanted Ranma to buy her some jewellery, but Akane could have told her that she'd be as old as Cologne before Ranma ever bought anyone jewellery. Ranma just wasn't the type.

So… jewellery…

"Umm… Akane? What are we doing looking at the jewellery?… I told you that Xian Pu already took all my money." Whispered Mousse, interrupting her thoughts.

"See anything you like?" she asked, unable to stop the wicked grin that overtook her face.

"What? Me? Umm… I'm… Why?" He sputtered, looking lost.

"Shampoo obviously wanted Ranma to buy her something, so how about we one-up them?" she smirked.

"But I've got no money! I can't buy you something when I've got no money!" he exclaimed, looking worried.

"Then how about I buy _you_ something?" she said, giving him an encouraging smile.

"_Me_? But no one's ever bought me anything…" He whispered, looking incredulous before gathering himself enough to state "I don't see how this will affect Xian Pu, and… I'm not a girl."

"I know you're not a girl, but just… _humour_ me. Ok?" She replied, drawing his attention back to the shop window with a nod of her head.

He studied her for a minute, as if trying to read her intentions, before turning back to the jewellery displays and examining them intently.

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

His arm was starting to get tired. She kept _yanking_ it. If she'd just let go… he'd promised that he'd date her, but that didn't mean that she had to drag him everywhere.

It's not like he was going to run away if she let him go. Well, he _probably_ wouldn't run away.

This thing with Mousse… what she'd done to him… well… he was actually angry with her for doing that to the poor boy.

Ranma had always thought that Shampoo was the prettiest of his fiancées, but looks weren't everything. She was now on the absolute bottom of his list of list of 'people he'd marry if he was forced to' otherwise known as his fiancées… well fiancées and fiancé.

He'd marry Kiyoshi before he married Shampoo.

Speaking of Kiyoshi… he was following them. Casually and at a sedate pace, but he was _blatantly_ following them. It was really pissing off Shampoo.

Ranma was all for it if it was pissing off Shampoo. It also meant that he had a witness if Shampoo tried anything. He didn't want anyone thinking he was the one initiating things with her. People tended to misunderstand him as it was.

He glanced back over his shoulder as Shampoo dragged him away from the latest shop front (he was beginning to zone out… she kept trying to make him buy her things when he had no money and shopping with her was so _boring_), there was Kiyoshi, just a couple of meters behind them, wandering along with his hands in his pockets.

He was very tall, very solid, and Ranma supposed he was good looking, so he was earning a fair few stares as he casually strolled along. The rest of the stares were directed at Akane and Mousse.

Akane was brave, really, really, brave. Even just looking at the two of them made Ranma squirm with embarrassment.

But Akane looked good like that, all confident and in control. Even if it sort of looked like a couple of girls going on a date.

Ranma had never really noticed before how slender Mousse was, and even though he was tall (taller than both Ranma and Ryouga) he did almost look like a girl in that outfit. An unusually flat-chested, muscley girl, true, but a girl nonetheless.

If Akane wasn't careful this was just going to add fire to the rumour that she was a lesbian.

Though Ranma suspected that if Akane ever heard the things that some the girls… and even _boys_, said behind her back… well it would be a dark(and probably hilarious) day at Furinkan High.

Ranma was _yanked_ out of his musings by Shampoo, who had a less that pleased look on her face.

"Husband no do anything Xian Pu want! This no good date! Xian Pu not happy!" She shrieked.

"C'mon Shampoo… I told you I don't have any money." He pleaded, well and truly sick of it.

"This no way date supposed to go! Husband should buy wife things, husband should buy wife cake, husband should pay, no wife!" She snapped.

"But I HAVE NO MONEY!" he finally shouted.

"Xian Pu no think husband want date Xian Pu." She whispered sulkily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" he murmured almost inaudibly, before telling her "Look Shampoo, why don't we go get something to eat? You pay now and I'll pay you back when I have some money."

"Xian Pu no sure… but Xian Pu hear of Café that supposed to have very good cake. Xian Pu want try cake. It good thing do on date. So Xian Pu agree. But! Husband pay Xian Pu back later. Or else Xian Pu do something bad to husband!" She declared, imperiously.

"Sure, whatever, Shampoo. Lead on." He said, glad that she'd stopped haranguing him.

Shampoo grabbed his arm (again) and dragged him towards the Café, which was on the corner of the row of shops that she'd been dragging him down.

She dragged him inside, and then dragged him to a table, only releasing him when he started to sit down. She'd just gotten settled when Kiyoshi casually strolled into the restaurant and sat down at a table not that far from them.

The glare Shampoo gave Kiyoshi when she spotted him was one for the record books. If looks could kill… well… he doubted the Café would be so popular with bits of his fiancé splattered across the walls… but then again, this was Nerima…

Ranma wasn't sure how to feel about Kiyoshi's tendency to follow him everywhere. He knew that he should feel freaked out and imposed upon, it's just that Kiyoshi never actually _did anything_ to him. He just followed Ranma around.

Though he'd proved useful earlier when he'd saved Ranma from both Ukyou and having Shampoo's bloody bike land on him again. That bike could leave bruises that lasted for _days_.

Kiyoshi didn't seem to be actively trying to force him into anything, and didn't even seem all that interested in Ranma. So maybe Kiyoshi was ok. Maybe it was all a misunderstanding and Kiyoshi wasn't going to turn out like his other future spouses, and they could just agree to be friends without Kiyoshi _wanting_ anything from him.

That might be nice… having a friend with no strings attached.

"Husband staring at tall-boy again. Xian Pu not happy." Snapped Shampoo, dragging him back out of his thoughts. He was just about to reply when Akane and Mousse entered the Café.

Akane had Mousse by the hand and was leading the distracted boy to a table… Mousse seemed to be absorbed in staring at a slender silver bangle encircling his left wrist. Ranma suddenly had a horrible suspicion that the bangle hadn't been there earlier.

For some reason it didn't seem all that strange to him that Akane should be the one buying things for her date.

"Ahhhrrrghh! No fair! Even _Mu Tsu_ have better date with uncute-girl than Xian Pu." Wailed Shampoo.

"What am I supposed to do about it? You're the one that wanted to come on this date." She was getting beyond tiring.

"If husband so unhappy with Xian Pu, Xian Pu no buy husband cake. Xian Pu buy cake for herself. If husband want then Xian Pu feed him cake." She huffed.

"No, no, no… its fine. You just buy a cake for yourself Shampoo." He insisted, which was obviously not what she'd wanted, but he didn't want her feeding him things in public. It was a pity, though, because he _liked_ cake.

"Humph! Xian Pu no happy." she muttered but ordered herself some highly sugary confection.

While she was distracted Ranma took the opportunity to study the rest of their weird group.

Kiyoshi was tucking into some huge chocolaty… _thing_ with great relish. Just looking at the cake made his mouth water. Oh well…

Akane and Mousse had settled down at their table and were having a whispered conversation that seemed to be over what to order. Ranma paused for a minute, wondering where Ryouga was, before he noticed the pig standing outside with his faced pressed against the glass window giving Mousse one of his own death-glares.

Snicker.

"Ahh! Husband no pay attention to Xian Pu _again_." Shrieked his obnoxious date, and Ranma became determined to _try_ to keep his attention on her. She made unpleasant noises if he didn't.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

The Café was nice, Mousse was relatively good company, and Shampoo looked like she was going to explode… all in all she was having a surprisingly nice time.

She looked across at Mousse studying his parfait, he seemed confused at how to eat the confection and she wondered if he'd ever had one before.

He obviously wasn't used to people buying him things.

They'd had an argument in the jewellery shop about what she was going to get him. He'd insisted that she buy him the cheapest thing in the shop, whilst she'd insisted that shy buy him something he actually liked. It was funny really… because the more he insisted that she buy him something cheap the more she'd become determined to buy him something nice.

Eventually they'd settled on a compromise. The bangle was simple, slender and not overly feminine… it was also made out of stainless steel so it didn't cost anywhere near as much as a silver one would have. It suited him.

What's more, she was actually enjoying being the one in charge of their date.

They'd had another whispered argument when they'd entered the Café, he didn't want her to buy him anything but she'd insisted. Then he wanted her to buy him the cheapest thing, but again she'd insisted that she get him something that he'd like.

Only it turned out that Mousse had never had any western style cakes and didn't have any idea what to order. So she'd decided for him.

She really was being the boy on this date.

He was nothing like the Mousse that had abducted her and tried to turn her into a duck. He was being all shy and obliging… oh how she'd missed shy and obliging boys.

She found herself objectively examining him… he was slender, tall, and kind of pretty. He had very nice legs; they were almost as nice at Ranma's… she would have killed for legs like that.

She dragged her eyes back up to his face and felt her heart skip a beat. With that blunt fringe and those coke-bottle glasses he looked a surprising amount like Botan…

Oh no… she was a glasses-pervert! That must be it. Botan had glasses, Dr. Tofu had glasses, and now looking at Mousse in his glasses she was feeling her heartbeat speed up.

…

She felt a little light-headed as she absorbed this new revelation. She was a glasses-pervert. She liked boys with glasses…

Well it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

"Akane? Um… is something wrong?" asked Mousse, who had noticed her sudden shock.

"No! no, no, no… nothing's wrong, nope." She spluttered, which probably wasn't going to convince him otherwise.

"Umm… if you're sure?" he murmured, the inflection making it a question.

"Completely sure!" she replied, forcing herself to be calm.

Mousse didn't say anything more, and she found herself disinclined to talk so they just sat there and enjoyed their parfaits. This café really did make good confections.

Eventually Shampoo finished her cake and dragged Ranma out of the café, so everyone who was not-so-subtly following them got up to leave as well.

Akane retrieved P-chan from where he was sitting with his face pressed grotesquely into the glass. Her pet pig was not happy with her for some reason and hung limply in her arms sulking.

Oh well.

Shampoo was dragging Ranma towards the park, probably hoping to have a romantic stroll, so she turned to Mousse and gave him an encouraging smile before reaching out for his hand and pulling him after Shampoo and Ranma.

They walked along sedately, enjoying the weather and Ranma's discomfort, Kiyoshi casually strolled past them and gave them a little nod, and Akane vaguely noticed that he was carrying a bag from the café.

They continued on that way into the park, walking faster and faster as Shampoo sped up to try and loose them. She was sure that they must all look a sight (well maybe not Kiyoshi).

Shampoo was marching up ahead, near the fountain, wrapped around Ranma's arm and intruding deeply into his personal space, and he was leaning as far away from her as he could get without falling over.

Suddenly Shampoo stopped; it seemed that she'd gotten fed up with Ranma's behaviour during the date. In an embarrassingly loud voice, that Akane (and probably everyone else in the park) could hear clearly she began to harangue Ranma.

"Xian Pu No Happy! This worst date Xian Pu ever had. Xian Pu no believe husband no gay! Husband no want Xian Pu." She shrieked, and Akane felt mortified for Ranma.

"Shampoo wait…" Ranma started before she interrupted.

"Xian Pu no wait! Xian Pu sick of waiting! If husband no gay then husband let Xian Pu kiss him." She then made good on her threat and attempted to kiss Ranma.

Ranma was already leaning away from her, and when she leapt at him he lost his balance and they both went flying into the fountain.

"C-C-C-CA-A-A-TTTT!" Shrieked female-Ranma, clawing at Shampoo and trying to get her off him.

He eventually dislodged her and started to run, apparently heading for higher ground as he proceeded to climb Kiyoshi and wrapped himself around his head.

"Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat… get it _away_" he wailed as Shampoo chased after him.

Akane was amazed at how calm Kiyoshi was responding to the situation. Having Ranma wrapped around his head didn't seem to bother him that much, he reached out and plucked Shampoo out of the air as she took a flying leap for Ranma and held her at arms-length.

"Get it away, get it away, _get it AWAY_" Ranma was whining with his head buried in his arms.

Kiyoshi just shrugged and walked towards Akane and Mousse, holding the cat out for Mousse to take. He then calmly wandered away from them both with Ranma still wrapped around his head.

When there was some distance between them he started to speak (Akane could see his lips moving but she couldn't hear what he was saying), and eventually Ranma climbed down from his perch on Kiyoshi, looking very embarrassed.

Shampoo was spitting and hissing and trying to scratch Mousse, who was holding her away from his body. Akane thought it might be a good idea for someone to find some hot water; cat Shampoo was just too destructive.

She suddenly had an idea and went over to fish Shampoo's clothes out of the water. Walking back to Mousse she held out P-chan and said.

"Swap animals for a minute? I'll just take her to the girl's public bathroom and get her changed back." Mousse just nodded and took P-chan, before handing her a suddenly docile Shampoo.

Her trip to the bathroom was quick and Shampoo stalked off the moment she was dressed. Akane followed her and found her cornering Ranma back near the fountain.

"Xian Pu never have worse date! Xian Pu no care what husband say, Xian Pu no believe husband when husband say he no gay! Xian Pu go with first plan. Husband will fall for Mu Tsu, then all happy." She snarled in Ranma's face before turning to Mousse, who was nursing an injured hand and glaring down at P-chan, and grabbing him.

"We go now stupid Mu Tsu, we need buy more clothes so you seduce husband." She declared as she dragged the stunned cross-dressing boy off.

…

"Well… that was… _interesting_." Said Kiyoshi.

"…" neither she nor Ranma could think of anything to say to that.

000


	12. The Clothes Bandits

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 12: The Clothes Bandits.

Rating: Teenishish

Disclaimer: What! Did someone say these characters were mine? Because they must be mistaken.

Author's notes: This time we have more info on the Amazons; info I totally, completely made up… but still. I hope you all enjoy it.

Also, we should remember that there are women out there who live in situations very similar to the one Mousse is describing in this day and age.

I also feel that I should mention that I don't completely hate Ryouga; it's just that I find some of his behaviour… _questionable._

Percentage of Likelihood That Ranma Will End Up With Various Characters Currently: Kiyoshi 90, Ryu 10, Other 0.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse

Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Female Ranma is incredibly sexy… really, really gorgeous so I'm not going to do away with his cursed form under any circumstances.

Furthermore: I believe in bisexuals. I also do not believe that I should throw myself into a lake of fire just because I'm attracted to girls as well as boys.

If you have a problem with this… well it's _your_ problem isn't it?

If it's in _**bold italics **_and being spoken by Mousse, Shampoo, or Cologne then its being spoken in Chinese.

And Finally: THANK YOU ALL FOR READING, IF YOU LIKE IT PLEASE REVIEW. I ADORE MY REVIEWERS.

000

(_Ranma POV - he's in his female form here, just so you know._)

After the date from hell they'd all walked back to the Tendou Dojou in silence. It was late and getting dark and Ranma's stomach was rumbling… he had really wanted a cake.

Akane seemed puzzled by something and no matter how often he glanced her way she was never looking at him. She wasn't even properly paying attention to P-chan, who was looking both angry and incredibly smug.

Ryouga really needed to grow up, he was even more immature than Ranma could be (and wasn't it terrible when you knew _you_ were immature). Ryouga'd bitten Mousse when Akane had left him, Mousse had dropped him but you had to give Mousse credit, he hadn't kicked the pig like Ranma would have.

They were almost home when Kiyoshi suddenly stopped and held something out to Ranma, on closer inspection he was holding a bag from the Café where Ranma hadn't had anything to eat.

"I almost forgot. I got you this; I saw how you were looking at mine." He said, which puzzled Ranma… looking at his _what?_

Taking the bag Ranma peered inside, finding a white cardboard box. He carefully fished out the box and opened the lid. Inside he found a huge, chocolaty _thing_, exactly like the huge, chocolaty _thing_ that Kiyoshi had been eating earlier.

He was lost for words… he _liked_ huge, chocolaty _things_.

It seemed to be equal parts cake, custard and cream, with attractive swirls of chocolate decorating its surface… and was that raspberries? Yes! Raspberries spread through the cream.

…

He was in love… He was in love, and the object of his affections was a cake.

Wow… Kiyoshi had noticed his longing look towards Kiyoshi's huge, chocolaty _thing_ when Shampoo was being a bitch and not buying him a cake.

This had to be one of the most considerate things anyone had _ever_ done for him.

He knew he was staring stupidly at the cake, but he couldn't seem to stop…

Eventually Akane seemed to get sick of his distraction and took his precious cake from him, but before he was forced to do _something_ to her for the insult, she returned it to him all packaged back up and in its bag.

"Umm… thanks." He whispered to Kiyoshi, who said nothing but gave him a soft smile.

He spent the rest of the walk home cradling his huge, chocolaty _thing_ close to his chest.

No one was going to take his huge, chocolaty _thing_… no one.

When they got home they found a fairly predictable sight; Genma-panda was playing Shougi by himself while Soun snoozed on the tatami, Kasumi was in the kitchen, Nabiki was eating strawberry Pocky and watching a soap-opera with a bored look on her face… the only thing that made it any different than virtually every night since he and his old man had moved into the Tendou Dojou was his mother and Ryu.

It was weird enough with his mother around but coming home to find her and Ryu sitting at the table and giggling over what appeared to be his _baby pictures_, was just too much.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

Ranma was glaring at him with 'her' arms crossed under her breasts, a bag hanging from one of her wrists; she was slightly damp so the fabric of her clothes was clinging to her enticingly and outlining her form… he felt his mouth go dry…

Oh… WOW!

Suddenly she started to blush and averted her eyes. He knew it was wrong, that she was Kiyoshi's fiancée, but he just couldn't tear his eyes away from her…

That was until Kiyoshi stepped in front of her, with his very best 'you have 30 seconds to live' glare in place… oops.

Ryu quickly shot Kiyoshi an apologetic smile and determinedly looked anywhere but at Ranma. Unfortunately that ended with him looking at Nodoka, who was giving with a raised eyebrow and an altogether too knowing look.

Double oops.

Nodoka just shook her head at him and turned her attention to 'Ranko', who she gave a large, gentle smile.

"Hello, Ranko. Did you have a good day? I was getting a little worried… school ended hours ago." She said, patting the tatami next to her.

"Hi Auntie Saotome. Sorry we're late." She said as she sat next to Nodoka, her voice sounding tired and a little sad.

"Oh, Ranko. Did something happen? You're all damp…" Nodoka asked, her face and voice reflecting deep concern.

"Oh this… I… um… I fell in a fountain." Murmured 'Ranko' fiddling with the bag, which she'd placed on her lap.

"Oh… Ranko? Was someone bullying you?" whispered Nodoka to Ranko, obviously trying to be discrete so she wouldn't embarrass the 'girl'.

"What?... No, no, no… it was all a misunderstanding." Spluttered 'Ranko' giving Nodoka a strained 'reassuring' smile.

Nodoka nodded at her, but her expression showed that she thought 'Ranko' was lying.

Before anyone could say any more Kasumi stuck her head into the room to tell them that dinner was almost ready. Nodoka immediately started to pack up the photo albums, shooting Kasumi an apologetic smile.

"Don't worry about it Auntie Saotome." Kasumi called over her shoulder with a sweet smile as she left.

A soft 'whump' came from the opposite side of the table and Ryu looked over to find his brother had stopped doing his 'loom and glare' routine and was instead going with 'sit and glare'. What did Kiyoshi think he was? He might look, but he wasn't going to touch… Ranma was Kiyoshi's fiancée.

Dinner was odd… he couldn't put his finger on why, but it was odd. Maybe it was because neither Ranma nor Akane said anything, and both seemed to be caught up in some inner puzzle. Kiyoshi didn't say anything either, but Ryu was used to that.

The strange air around Ranma and Akane seemed to be contagious, so by the time dinner was over everyone was staring into space contemplating something.

The food was excellent and Ryu would have been feeling full and content if it wasn't for the glares he was getting.

Kiyoshi had spent the entire meal levelling him a fairly solid glare… not his worst, mind you, because Kiyoshi's worst glare could leave a person a nervous wreck, but a solid low-level glare.

The panda was also glaring at him, but the panda's glare was something else entirely… Ryu had never found pandas particularly intimidating before, but now…

The third and final glare was being levelled at him by the Tendou patriarch. It was the strangest glare he'd ever received… and he'd received a lot of glares. Soun was sort of… _wavering_ around the edges, and his face looked a little odd, sort of like he was wearing a Noh mask.

Blech… _creepy_.

He didn't get what everyone's problem was; it wasn't like he was even doing _anything._

While everyone was still sitting and digesting, Ranma fished a white cardboard box out of the bag 'she' had on her lap. When she opened it Ryu saw that it contained some sort of extravagant cake thing.

The panda obviously liked the look of it, but before he got anywhere near her, Ranma elegantly extended her leg and kicked him in the head.

"Ranko!" admonished Nodoka.

"This is _mine_. He can get his own." Snarled Ranma, holding the cake close to her body.

"But Ranko, he's only a panda… he doesn't know any better." Said Nodoka, gently.

"Doesn't matter, this is _mine_." Asserted Ranma, fishing a white plastic spork out of the bag as well.

"Ranko…" sighed Nodoka, shaking her head.

Ranma ignored her and proceeded to eat the cake, making quiet mewling sounds of pleasure as she did…

Ryu felt his mind start to go to a bad place.

When she made those noises she sounded like she was… heh, heh, heh.

Ryu's mind picked up where it had left off and started to undress her in his mind, not caring at that moment that she was actually a boy.

The sound of growling woke him up out of his fantasies…

He never knew that pandas could growl.

He also quickly became aware that Kiyoshi's glare had been upped a notch or two, even if Kiyoshi himself was turning bright red.

Err… Oops?

After Ranma had finished her cake Nodoka sent her up to have a bath, before going to help Kasumi with the dishes in the kitchen.

Akane and Nabiki had both gone upstairs to do their homework, and the panda and the Tendou patriarch had gone back to the Shougi board to continue their eternal game.

Ryu started to snicker; Ranma was going to be in for a shock when she tried to get dressed.

When he and Nodoka had gotten home from their shopping trip they'd found the house all but abandoned, Kasumi and Nabiki were both elsewhere, Ranma, Akane and Kiyoshi hadn't returned and both Soun and the panda had been fast asleep next to the Shougi board.

Nodoka had gotten him to drag the bags up to 'Ranko's' room, where she'd proceeded to throw away all of 'Ranko's' old clothing and put away all the stuff they'd bought.

And they'd bought a lot of stuff, more clothing than even Kana had had, and she'd been the sort that had to have the latest fashions the minute they were released.

They'd probably gone overboard, but it had been fun, and every time they were ready to stop one of them had seen something so _cute_ that would just look wonderful on Ranko. Ryu suspected that Nodoka had always wanted a daughter.

They'd tried to keep their purchases at least mildly sensible, even though there were a fair few cute and frivolous things the majority weren't too confining, and could be fought in if they had to be.

Nodoka had bought a couple of things for herself, one of which was a silk blouse in the most beautiful cornflower blue, that Nodoka said was the exact same colour as a blouse Genma had bought her when they were first married.

Ryu just wished that Nodoka would have let him take a peek in the bags that she'd come out of the lingerie shop with… it would have made up for him having struck out with the cute girls that had been eyeing him when he was standing in front of that shop.

"What are you snickering at?" asked Kiyoshi, looking unamused.

Ryu was just about to tell him about Nodoka's surprise when the air was rent with a piercing scream. It was coming from the bathroom, and it sounded as though it was Nodoka.

They were up and heading towards the scream before they even had time to think. Surprisingly they were elbowed out of the way by the panda, who was moving faster than anyone would expect a panda could move.

They were almost at the bathroom when a naked young man with a bandanna in his hair came barrelling past them holding a towel over his… _bits_.

The boy was gone before his presence even registered with Ryu, but Ryu recognised him… it was the pervert who'd attacked Ranma. Torn between chasing after the young man and seeing what was wrong, the decision was made for them when they heard 'Ranko' shriek:

"MAAAAAAuntie Saotome!"

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

The huge, chocolaty _thing_ had been delicious. It was probably the best cake Ranma had ever had…

Yum.

He was still thinking about it as he stripped out of his still slightly damp clothes and began to scrub down. He looked at the steaming bath with vague longing, but he probably shouldn't risk it with his mother in the house.

Sighing he rinsed himself off with cold water before grabbing the shampoo, just as he was lathering his hair P-chan wandered into the room looking confused. The pig gave a little 'bukee' of annoyance before shaking his head and climbing into the bath.

Seconds later Ryouga was leaning against the side of the bath glaring at Ranma.

"Hey, Ryouga." He said, giving the pig-boy a little wave whilst rearranging himself slightly so Ryouga wasn't getting as good a look.

"What was that about earlier Ranma? You were quite happily off with Shampoo while that _pervert_ was clinging all over Akane." Spat Ryouga.

"I wouldn't say I was '_happily_ off with Shampoo'… and Mousse was hardly _clinging_ to Akane…" he replied, not really wanting to have a fight with Ryouga when his mother was in the house.

"_You_ are supposed to be Akane's _fiancé;_ you are _not_ supposed to be letting her go out with _perverts_!" snarled Ryouga who leapt to his feet and was looming over Ranma.

Ranma averted his eyes… sure he'd seen it all before, but after the Koi-Rod incident he wasn't comfortable with a naked Ryouga being anywhere near his naked female-form.

"As far as I can tell Mousse isn't a pervert (unlike certain people), and it's none of my business what Akane does. Anyway, _you're_ the one that's always telling me that I don't deserve her." He snapped back at Ryouga.

"You don't! You really, really don't! I saw you making eyes at that boy earlier… How Akane must feel…" Ryouga wailed, clenching his fists.

"Hey! You just accused me of being off with Shampoo, and now you're saying I was making eyes at Kiyoshi… make up your mind Ryouga." Ranma snapped, starting to get angry.

"Well you _are_ a pervert. And Akane needs a real man!" Ryouga declared, puffing up his chest.

"What, like you pig-boy? Trust me, you aren't Akane's type." He scoffed, which probably wasn't a good idea from the way Ryouga lunged at him.

They scuffled for a minute, as Ranma tried to regain his balance on the soapy tiles, Ryouga gained the upper hand for a moment and had him pinned…

Ranma was going to pulverise him, he really was, because if he wasn't mistaken he could feel Ryouga's… _dangly bits_… pressing into his naked thigh.

"You're useless Ranma. You're not even a _man…_ you might as well just stay like this." Ryouga hissed, his breath brushing Ranma's face.

Ranma felt like his skin was going to crawl off. Whatever 'feminine instinct' he'd inherited with his female form was shrieking at him… for a second he was frozen, unable to move, as some deeply seated innate fear overtook his mind.

It was just a second… but that second seemed to stretch into forever…

A slight change in Ryouga's expression seemed to indicate that he'd seen something in Ranma's face… he eased up on the pressure that he was using to keep Ranma pinned and that was enough to snap Ranma out of whatever fugue he'd been in.

He was just about to splatter Ryouga across the bathroom when the door opened and his mother stepped into the room wearing nothing but a towel…

She looked at them and they looked at her…

"IIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Ryouga sprung off of Ranma and raced out of the room, pushing Nodoka aside somewhat roughly, and grabbing a towel on his way out.

Nodoka lost her balance and slammed hard against the ground, she blinked stupidly at Ranma for a minute before her eyes rolled back into her head and she fainted.

"MAAAAAAuntie Saotome!!!"

He shrieked, almost calling her 'mother'. He crawled over to her and was wondering how to check if she was ok when his father, Soun, Kiyoshi and Ryu thundered into the room…

He was immediately aware of his nudity, and curled into himself trying to shield his female-form from their eyes… Ryouga didn't seem to be all that good for his mental health.

Soun was staring stupidly, Ryu was staring lecherously, his father had rushed over to his mother and was gently patting her cheek with one of his big panda paws to try and wake her, and Kiyoshi rushed out of the room.

A couple of seconds later Kiyoshi returned with a big, fluffy towel that he handed to Ranma while averting his eyes. Ranma took it gratefully and wrapped it around his naked body.

He'd just managed to cover himself when Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi piled into the bathroom as well… the now highly _claustrophobic_ bathroom. There was no way that it was supposed to fit that many people.

He was going to have to chuck them all out soon… the confrontation with Ryouga had left him deeply desiring another bath.

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

It had been pretty crowded in the bathroom for a while everyone was trying to see what had happened. Though Ranma's father hadn't let anyone but Ranma and himself anywhere near Ranma's mother.

Eventually Ranma's mother had come round and explained what she'd seen, so now he and Ryu were on pervert patrol.

He couldn't believe it… that bandanna'd pervert had some nerve… that was twice he'd tried to force himself on Ranma in as many days.

After Nodoka's explanation she'd been feeling a little weak so Genma (still in panda form) had picked her up and taken her to her bed in Kasumi's room. Everyone had been surprised at the gentleness he used when handling her, even Nodoka herself who had not expected to be picked up by the panda.

After his father had left with his mother Ranma had thrown everyone out of the bathroom so he could have another bath… Kiyoshi didn't blame him, if some pervert had attempted to force himself on Kiyoshi, he would surely be trying to scrub his skin off.

Ryu and he had checked the entire house, leaving only the garden, when they stepped into the back yard they found a towel floating in the koi pond but no sight of the pervert. They also found Akane's pet piglet quivering in the water… obviously the pervert had frightened him into the pond when he'd run through.

Ryu leant over and picked the piglet up, which gave him a truly, deeply resentful look, and they were about to go back inside when they heard a truly dreadful shriek.

"IYYAAAHHHH! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY _CLOTHES?_"

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

"IYYAAAHHHH! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY _CLOTHES?_"

Shrieked Mu Tsu, staring in horror into the chest in which he usually kept his possessions… they were gone, they were _all_ gone… all that remained was that… _outfit_ that Xian Pu had made him wear the day before.

He should have known that something was odd last night when Xian Pu had made him dinner.

After the… _date_… yesterday Xian Pu had dragged him back to the shops where she had bought him the clothes, only to discover that they were already closed. He'd spent the next forty minutes pleading with her and had been convinced that she was going to give up her stupid plan to give him to Saotome.

Shudder.

When they'd gotten back to the Cat Café she'd acted all sorry for what she'd done, and had even offered to cook him dinner. He'd been flattered, thinking that maybe she was finally seeing how loyal and devoted he was, and had readily accepted.

He remembered feeling unusually sleepy after he finished the dumplings she'd prepared for him, and he'd been about to ask if she'd slipped him anything when he'd suddenly fallen asleep.

The next thing he knew it was the morning, he was wearing nothing but the panties from yeaterday and all his clothed had mysteriously vanished.

"_**Oh good, you're up! Hurry up and get dressed, we have a long day ahead of us… we must buy more clothes if we want you to seduce my husband**_" Xian Pu had obviously wandered into the room while he was distracted by his horror.

"_**Xian Pu… what did you do? Where are my clothes? Did you drug me last night?**_" he whimpered, shocked that she'd do such a thing to him.

"_**Don't be silly Mu Tsu, what does it matter what I did? I got rid of your clothes… they obviously aren't going to work if you are to seduce my husband… you **__**must**__** look more feminine.**_" She stated, picking up the ridiculous outfit and throwing it at him.

"_**Get dressed, I don't have all day.**_" She declared, and flounced out of the room, not letting him say anything more and obviously not caring what he thought.

He stood there for a minute staring at the wretched outfit before giving in and getting dressed. He loved Xian Pu, it didn't matter what she did to him… and it was her right as a woman of the Amazon tribe to do as she wished with him.

In Amazon society he had no rights of his own. He was male, and therefore property. If he was married he'd fall under the protection of his wife, but as he wasn't and wasn't living with any female member of his immediate family Ku Lon was the one in charge of his wellbeing… And Ku Lon didn't really care what Xian Pu did to him as long as he could still work.

He sighed as he started to get dressed in the horrible pink and white thing. Things were so much different in Nerima than they had been back home… living in a patriarchal society was difficult to get used to.

Ranma, for example, had learned the martial arts for his own honour, instead of to augment the honour of his mother's family and the honour of his future wife…

It was weird to think that all these _men_ were wandering around everywhere in charge of their own household, in charge of the finances, and owning their own _property_. Mu Tsu couldn't get used to it, and frankly he didn't want to… how could they live like that? It was _unnatural_!

And the money they earned! By Amazon law Mu Tsu wasn't even allowed to be paid for any work he did at the Cat Café, since it was owned by his guardian Ku Lon… if he'd been married the money would have gone to his wife, since he wasn't allowed to have any money of his own.

If he needed anything Ku Lon was supposed to supply it, but he did keep a little money squirreled away… even if it might get him into trouble… because his mother sent him a little bit every now and then, and Ku Lon occasionally gave him some spending money.

He finished getting dressed and pulled on the canvas shoes… they were surprisingly comfortable, as were the… well… the _panties_. They were made out of some soft stretchy fabric, and even if they were _pink_ they had no lace or other scratchy bits (since he'd chucked a fit when Xian Pu had handed him the little, pink, lacy g-string that she'd wanted to buy), and were frankly much more comfortable than the traditional underwear he usually wore.

…

How embarrassing.

…

He sighed again when he started to arm himself. These skimpy clothes had no room for his usual assortment of weapons, so he had to be creative. He was forced to leave behind most of his usual weapons and instead focused on small discrete things he could hide in his shoes or in the hems of his clothing.

He was finally ready and was just about to leave the room in search of Xian Pu when he remembered the bracelet…

He'd hidden it under his futon when they'd returned to the Cat Café, afraid (as ashamed as the thought made him) that Xian Pu would try to steal it…

It was beautiful… smooth and silver coloured, and the only present he'd received since the little gifts his mother used to give him when he was a child…

He wasn't allowed to own property; but since Akane, who was female, had given it to him on an actual _date_ he wasn't sure if Ku Lon could legally take it from him. He hoped not, because just looking at it gave him an odd, warm feeling.

Jewellery was usually one of those things a woman gave a man when she was interested in him in Amazon society… or when she was claiming him for herself, though he understood it was the reverse in Japan. And even if he knew Akane _wasn't_ interested in him any more than he was interested in her, the fact that someone had given _him_ a piece of jewellery, and what's more a _bangle_ (which was a sign of the highest regard amongst his people) left him feeling sort of floaty.

Amazon women used jewellery to display their status, the more they had and the more expensive it was, the higher they were amongst the hierarchy. The gifts and jewellery they used to adorn their husbands was another way they showed their rank… Mu Tsu could remember the soft clinking of his father's many golden bangles whenever he thought of his home.

His father had more bangles than any person, male or female, in their entire village with Mu Tsu coming a close second… and since they (technically) belonged to his mother he was allowed to wear them in public.

His mother was both one of the most important women in the village, and one of the most loving. She loved to give jewellery to her family in order to show how much she valued them, and when they were in public together they sparkled like a thousand suns.

Of course his jewellery hadn't really been his, and when he was practicing martial arts or staying with Ku Lon it all stayed locked up in his mother's house.

Xian Pu had a dangerous obsession with status, he thought as he walked out into the restaurant looking for her.

The way she had acted yesterday… even though he loved her, he knew that any self respecting Amazon would have found it embarrassing. She'd been trying to get Ranma to buy her jewellery… it just wasn't on.

If she truly loved him she should have been buying it for him, which was a thought that gave him momentary hope before he remembered one of the worrying things about Xian Pu.

She was absorbing more and more of the culture of Japan, and moving away from the traditional Amazon way. He was getting worried about her and was thinking of bringing it up with Ku Lon.

She was acting more and more like… well… yesterday was just part of it.

The way she acted with Ranma… it was like she wanted to be his wife in the Japanese way… She seemed to want _him _to take care of _her_… Like with the jewellery…

It was like some of the women that he'd met here in Japan. The ones that dripped with gold and diamonds. Some of their jewellery was very… _tacky_, but they seemed inordinately proud of it any way. He'd seen them sometimes, comparing what their husbands or boyfriends had bought them and had understood that it was some kind of competition.

It was weird behaviour to see in women… he would have found it more normal if they had been men, but back home people were more subtle about that status stuff.

Anyway, Xian Pu was becoming like one of those women… and he didn't like it. Behaviour like that… well it really was _unnatural_ in a woman.

When he spotted her standing impatiently outside of the Café he had a sudden, and inexplicable, feeling of nervousness. He felt his chest become tight for a second and thought for one horrible moment that he might faint. Why he was reacting like this he couldn't understand… he loved Xian Pu… he _did_.

Suddenly the pressure eased, and he looked down to see that he was unconsciously rolling the bangle on his wrist…

"Xian Pu no have all day stupid Mu Tsu!" snarled Xian Pu when she saw him – she tried to always speak Japanese when they were in public.

"Sorry Xian Pu, but I was having trouble fitting my weapons in this outfit." He said, quietly for some reason unable to meet her eyes.

"Xian Pu no care! We need get going, Xian Pu want buy many clothes." She huffed.

"I really am sorry." He whispered, hoping she wasn't mad at him.

"It ok. Xian Pu find Mu Tsu money when she take clothes, so Mu Tsu pay for many new clothes." She smirked, taking out the little silk purse in which he kept the approximately ¥102, 129 (appx vista currency converter AUD $1026, USD $845. 628) he had saved up.

"What! No! Xian Pu, that's _mine_." He wailed, horrified that she'd take his savings.

"Is no. Mu Tsu no allowed have money. So belong Xian Pu now. Mu Tsu agree else Xian Pu tell Great Grand-Mother." She threatened.

"O… OK Xian Pu, the money is yours now. Please don't tell Ku Lon." He pleaded, not wanting Ku Lon to find out what he'd been doing. You could get in very deep trouble if you were an unmarried Amazon male and you were caught with money.

"I no tell Great Grand-Mother if Mu Tsu do as Xian Pu say. Mu Tsu come buy clothes and Mu Tsu seduce husband, if Mu Tsu no do as Xian Pu say… Xian Pu tell on him." She smirked, looking unattractively self-satisfied. Not that he found her unattractive, because he loved her… it didn't matter how she treated him.

"I… I… I, um… I'll do what you say, Xian Pu. I promise." He whispered.

"Good. We go now. Come on stupid Mu Tsu." She declared, grabbing his arm and dragging him towards the shops.

What had he gotten himself into…

But he loved her… it would be ok, it had to be.

000


	13. Fluffy, Girly, Wretched, Horrible Things

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 13: Fluffy, Girly, Wretched, Horrible _Things_.

Rating: Teenish

Disclaimer: La, la, la… Hmm? Did you ask me something? What! Of _course_ they aren't mine… well aside from anyone I made up, anyway.

Percentage of Likelihood That Ranma Will End Up With Various Characters Currently: Oh sod it! Look below.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma.

I'd also like to say something about my interpretation of the interactions between Ranma and Akane… I think they tend to bring out the worst in each other, mainly because they tend to poke each other in the areas they are insecure about.

Akane is insecure about her looks and Ranma is insecure about his curse… and if you think about it that's the things they are most likely to attack each other on.

Author's notes: _**Please look here before reading.**_

Ok, Thanks!

This is probably going to be the last chapter I can write until some time late next week. There's something I have to do if I want to get another two weeks to write before I have to start on my new units. Sorry.

Also, the way this is written… The POV style… for one, I'm still developing it so its far from perfect, as this is the longest thing I have _ever_ written. I think the longest other thing I wrote was about 5,000 words when I gave up on it. 5,000 words is not that long if you consider the length of this fic. So I'm really finding my 'voice' with this fic.

So some of the finer nuances are slipping through the cracks, also the reality presented by the alternate POV's is always subjective, so unless a character actually knows exactly what is happening the reader has to put it all together for themselves.

So, since I like the lot of you, I'll give you a quick update on what's happening.

1. Aiko's plan: Currently Aiko has arranged for a legal female identity to be forged for Ranma, she's also looking around for a way to lock his curse. Ryu is lurking around, pretty much spying, and gathering information to give to Aiko's forger (if that's the right word). Kiyoshi is following Ranma around… that's all he's committed to his mother's plan, so anything he actually does for Ranma is just something he's doing for Ranma.

Because he likes Ranma, whether or not he's even fully aware of the fact.

Furthermore, one of my reviews has brought it to my attention that I haven't really addressed what Kiyoshi is like if you _aren't_ Ranma. I know there has been Ryu's POV as well, but I probably need to state it a bit more explicitly, so that's part of Ryouga's POV.

Also I will now be adding what gender Ranma is at the start of one of his POV's in the ('s POV) bubble, I hope that helps with how confusing it can get… I just can't see Ranma as he is now thinking of himself as a she.

Also… I kind of want to deal with, at some point and maybe never (or in a sequel, I don't know), Kasumi's ex-boyfriend, Nabiki's personal life, the Kurosawa family – as in the ones that chucked Aiko and her family out, as well as perhaps Mousse's family.

So… if I do so, it will require some more original characters (not major ones like Ryu and Kiyoshi, but sort of… I don't know)… please tell me how you feel about the idea.

About Nabiki… I'm sort of thinking of setting her up with a _female, _just in the background and not as a big part of the fic. Because she uses men, but she never seems to actually _like_ them. Please tell me what you think.

**Finally, and please look here even if you don't look up there.**

I thought I should tell you whether or not this is going to be shounen ai or het. Because it seems to be a thing that concerns a lot of you…. And the answer is…

_Neither_.

I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his _entire_ self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate.

Sorry if that displeases any of you; but I thought it would give you a chance to jump ship if it did, before the fic goes any further.

…

Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (as in the Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

He wouldn't say that he was hiding… not _exactly_. It's just that he hadn't felt like leaving Akane's room since Ryu had returned him to her the night before.

He was feeling odd… uncomfortable, unhappy, and slightly queasy, and he wasn't exactly sure why.

It was probably that… _incident_ with Ranma last night. On reflection, his actions hadn't been exactly… he wasn't proud of them.

True, Ranma was a pervert, an idiot, and a bad fiancé… it's just…

For a second there, when he'd had Ranma pinned, the _look_ Ranma had on 'her' face…

Ryouga never wanted to see another person look at him like that ever again.

Ranma had been scared of him, if only for a second, and that was wrong. If Ranma was ever scared of him it was supposed to be because of his superior martial arts prowess… not because of whatever that had been last night.

It was Ranma's look that had finally brought the reality of the situation to Ryouga's attention.

The realisation that he was pinning Ranma down with his whole body while they were both naked and Ranma was female, had left Ryouga feeling… odd.

It left him feeling bad odd. Like he was some kind of…

Well, like he was the sort of man who'd do _that_ to a woman.

Anyway. It had distracted him enough that he'd eased up on his grip… and then Ranma's face had changed, and Ryouga just knew that he was about to die a wretched messy death.

He'd never seen Ranma look so _angry_, so completely and totally like he was about to murder someone… and that someone had been Ryouga.

Before Ranma got a chance to strike and before Ryouga even got a chance to try to explain, that strange woman who was staying with the Tendous had entered the bathroom.

He'd known exactly what it must have looked like to someone who knew nothing about their rivalry… and she'd done exactly what he expected she'd do.

She'd screamed.

And he'd fled as fast as he could, pushing her aside far too roughly on his way out of the bathroom.

He'd fled because those weird men were still lurking around the Dojou.

And why did people that didn't know him keep walking in on him and Ranma during the moments most open to misinterpretation… If they'd just arrived a couple of minutes later both times, they probably would have walked in on Ranma flattening him instead of something that made it look like he was molesting Ranma.

Because Ryouga was pretty sure than Ranma would have _flattened_ him.

And now everyone thought that he, _Ryouga_, was a pervert… it was _unfair_.

Ranma was the pervert. He _was_. The way he carried on, all those fiancées and now this thing with that boy… man… whatever.

The Kurosawas…? Was that right? He thought so. The Kurosawas were strange, and he couldn't understand why everyone was acting like it was perfectly normal to have them always lurking around.

That Ryu character… his battle aura had been terrifying. But examining him next to his brother… Ryouga was convinced that the other one was stronger.

Ryu was tall, lanky, and angular. He moved with an effortless grace, but seemed to spend most of his time watching the women of the house. He was kind of… cat like. Sort of like a tom-cat that one of Ryouga's neighbours used to have, all spitting angry aggression and over-active libido.

The other one… Kiyoshi? Was different. Scary different. Ryouga was betting that Ranma hadn't noticed, because he always seemed to have a gentle expression and an encouraging smile for Ryouga's rival, but with everyone else…

He was completely expressionless most of the time, and when he did have an expression on his face it tended to be cold and menacing glare. He never seemed to say anything, except for a couple of times Ryouga'd seen him speak to Ranma, and just sort of _loomed_. He reminded Ryouga of some kind of large reptile… maybe a crocodile.

And he was _huge_.

He was the tallest Japanese man that Ryouga had ever encountered. And he wasn't just tall, he was solid as well. He had broad shoulders and huge hands, and seemed to be thickly layered in muscle. He was sort of like a small mountain.

What made it all worse was the fact that he could move completely silently… it didn't seem like such a thing should be possible for such a large man, but it was.

He was intimidating.

Or at least intimidating to anyone but his Ryu, Ranma and (for some strange reason) Akane.

Even Mousse had been shying away from him the day before, and Ryouga was sure he'd seen Shampoo flinch when he got too close to her.

So Ryouga was hiding.

He figured that he had more than enough reason to.

He just wished that he wasn't sure that wherever Ranma was, he was doing his best to convince Akane that Ryouga was a pervert and a rapist, and thus ensuring that he could keep her all to himself.

Ranma didn't deserve Akane…

Ryouga was the only one man enough for her.

Ranma was the pervert. Not him.

000

(_Ranma's POV- in female form_)

He was not happy!

No. Not at _all_!

He wasn't going to get dressed, he wasn't going to go down for breakfast and he wasn't going to go to school.

Ever again.

He already felt massively uncomfortable in the cute little pyjamas that he'd been forced to wear last night. Forced by his evil, evil, _evil_ mother.

She'd stolen all his clothes… stolen them and replaced them with _things_; fluffy, girly, wretched, horrible _things_.

He wished that he hadn't laughed at Mousse the day before.

It wasn't funny now that it happened to him.

What was he going to do?

When he'd discovered the larceny night before, he'd run back to the bathroom to recover the outfit he'd been wearing earlier… only it was gone.

Vanished. Disappeared. _Stolen_.

All he had now was women's clothing. Women's _underwear_.

…

ARRRRGHHHH

…

He wasn't wearing any currently, because the shorts of the horrifically cute pyjamas were enough like his boxers that he didn't feel that he needed to.

But now…

If he decided to get dressed then he'd be forced to. Which meant that he was never getting dressed ever _again_.

A knock sounded on the door and he heard his (evil) mother call out "Ranko… Ranko, its Auntie Saotome. I'm coming in." before she entered the room.

"Ranko, why aren't you dressed? You'll be late for school." She admonished when she saw him.

"I'm not going!... and I'm not getting dressed." He snapped, sounding like he was six years old.

"Oh, Ranko. Why not? Don't tell me that you're angry about what I did?" She whispered, giving him a look that made him feel immensely, irrationally, guilty.

"Not angry… _exactly_, Auntie Saotome. But, why?" was his stilted response, not wanting to yell at her but having trouble fighting off the impulse.

"Ranko… I don't want to pry… but, um… are you an orphan? Because the way you act… it's obvious that you've never had a feminine influence in your life." She asked, all sweet concern.

That was an interesting question, wasn't it? For a second he had an irrational desire to laugh… no he'd never had a feminine influence in his life… but as far as she was concerned that should have been a good thing. Feminine influences were not conductive to being a 'man amongst men'.

"I'm not an orphan Auntie Saotome… but I never knew my mother." He told her, which was true wasn't it?

"Oh… you poor thing. But I suspected as much. That's why I wanted to do this for you Ranko… you're almost like the daughter I never had." His mother said, looking incredibly sad for a minute.

He felt warm and happy for a moment, she thought of him like the daughter she never had, that meant that she liked him. "Oh… Ok. But Auntie Saotome, what exactly is _this_?" he asked, not really sure what exactly she hoped to achieve by stealing all his clothes.

"I'm going to help you become more feminine. You need a mother, and I know I'm not _actually_ your mother, but I hope that you like me enough that you'll trust me to help you with this." Beseeched his _actual_ mother.

He didn't know how to respond… the majority of his mind was shrieking _run away, run away,_ because in no way did he want to be made anymore _feminine_. But! Some part of him was too preoccupied with the idea that his mother saw him as the daughter she'd never had…

It wasn't ideal, true, but any time he spent with her left him feeling happy… in an anxious kind of way.

"Ranko?" queried his mother, and he realised that he'd been standing there thinking instead of answering her.

"Um… I _do _trust you Auntie Saotome, but I'm not sure that this is a good idea…" he muttered.

"Oh, don't be silly Ranko. Now let's get you dressed! And don't think I haven't noticed that you don't have a school uniform. I'm ordering a couple for you today." She declared as she moved over to the wardrobe and started to go through his new clothes.

"Er…" he mumbled. She was going to buy him a _girls uniform_?

"Here you go, let's start with the underwear." She said as she handed him a pair of pale green panties and the oddest bra he'd ever seen.

"No Auntie Saotome! It's perverted." He all-but-shouted. He wasn't going to wear women's underwear. He'd promised himself that he'd never wear it again.

"Perverted? Ranko… that's a silly idea. I know you're shy, but still…" she seemed honestly perplexed by the idea.

"It is. It's… _uncomfortable_." He always felt really exposed when he was wearing women's underwear.

"Don't worry about that Ranko. I got you some really cute, lacy things, but I also know that you probably aren't ready for them just yet. So I also got you some more practical things… see the panties are just plain, without any lace or anything, and the bra is a sports bra, because I know how active you are. I was honestly surprised that you didn't even have _one_ sports-bra… you _are_ a martial artist." She said.

_Cute, lacy things_... the very idea horrified him.

He looked down at the bra, studying it. It certainly was _different_ than the bras he was used to. It seemed to be constructed out or some weird combination of fabric and mesh, with oddly thick straps. It still had the uncomfortable wire things that he was used to, and was a vaguely recognisable shape, but otherwise it looked about as sexy as a flour sack.

"Sports-bra? What's a sports-bra?" he asked, because he'd never seen such a thing before.

"You don't know what a…? Of course not, of course not. A sports-bra is designed to stop you from… _bouncing_ when you exercise. You must have noticed it is uncomfortable if you are too active, especially with how…_ large_ you are?" he didn't know if she was looking exasperated or confused, but the way she said it made him feel kind of like an idiot.

Though it was true that he'd noticed that his… _chest…_ tended to bounce around a lot when he was in female-form; which _was_ uncomfortable and felt like a constant _tug, tug_ on his chest. Maybe this sports-bra thing wouldn't be _too_ bad.

"Just put it on Ranko, if you aren't convinced that it's a good idea just bounce up and down a couple of times, and you'll see what I mean." She ordered.

"What? With you in here?" he asked, because, his mother or not, he didn't like people watching him when he was getting dressed into something emasculating.

"I'll wait outside then." She sighed, and went to wait in the hallway.

Ranma examined the underwear one last time before plucking up his courage and quickly stripping out of his pyjamas. The panties went on easily but he had a few moments of struggle trying to get the bra on. All bras seemed to be ridiculously complicated contraptions. When he'd finally gotten it on he did a couple of little jumps and was surprised at how much more comfortable it was.

"Ok Auntie Saotome, you can come back in now." He called out in distraction, far too pre-occupied with bouncing up and down and not feeling the _tug, tug_.

His mother walked back into the room, took one look at him and gave a small smile, before going back over to the wardrobe.

"Now, let me find you something cute, but not too cute. From the way you've reacted so far I'm not sure about a dress or a skirt… but how about… Ah! Found it. Now let's pick a top… what would go with this? This?… no. This?... definitely not. How about?... No. Ah, I know. Yes, that will look very cute. We have to make sure you look cute, what with your fiancé downstairs." She muttered to herself as she went through the clothes.

Wait…

"Fiancé? How did you know about Kiyoshi?" he squeaked, already pretty sure that he knew the answer.

"Oh… Ryu told me." Murmured his distracted mother.

Ryu… yep. Ryu was definitely going on his 'to pulverise later when my mother isn't looking' list. Right after Ryouga.

What had happened last night was another one of those things that was making him unhappy. He couldn't understand why he'd frozen when Ryouga had been pinning him down. He couldn't understand it and it was bugging him. It made him feel weak, which he didn't like.

Ryu was also making him unhappy. Because Ryu kept looking at him with that really confusing expression that had made him freeze. Like when they'd gotten home last night. Ranma didn't know how to respond to that expression. He'd just been glad that Kiyoshi had stepped in front of him and blocked Ryu's gaze…

And how pathetic was that? He was pathetic, really, really pathetic. Maybe Ryouga was right…

No. Never! It didn't matter… he'd had a stressful week.

He was still trying to deal with the fact that his old man had traded him to some hostess-club Mama-san who wanted him to marry her son. And Ukyou was… and everyone thought he was gay, and Shampoo was being obnoxious… not to mention that Akane was being weird. Oh, and the fact that he didn't actually _mind_ Kiyoshi all that much…

A very, very stressful week.

"Earth to Ranko." said his mother, waving her hand under his nose and looking kind of amused.

"Wha?... Oh! Sorry, Auntie Saotome." He replied, embarrassed that he'd been so distracted that she'd snuck up on him.

"Here you go, get dressed. I don't think we'll bother doing anything with your hair or trying any makeup today, so I'll meet you downstairs." She said, handing him a bundle of clothes before leaving the room.

_Makeup?_… No. No makeup.

Well… anyway… He looked down at the clothes and was surprised… they weren't _too_ bad.

The outfit that his mother had put together consisted of:

A pair of pale, blue denim shorts with rolled up cuffs.

A pale lemon-yellow gingham blouse with a mandarin collar and little puff-sleeves.

And a pair of lemon-yellow canvass shoes with white soles, very much like the ones Mousse had been wearing yesterday (and probably from the same shop).

He put the bundle down on his futon and started to get dressed. When he was finished he looked down and studied himself.

It wasn't _too_ bad… sort of.

At least he wasn't wearing a skirt, and he could definitely fight in this if he had to.

Plucking up his courage he left the room and went downstairs. When he got there he found that Akane and Nabiki had already left for school, there wasn't any breakfast left and he was definitely running late… Oddly Kiyoshi was still there waiting for him.

He was just about to leave when a thought entered his head.

He walked over to Ryu, who was reading the newspaper, and declared: "You. Come with me."

Ryu looked at him in puzzlement for a moment before getting up and following Ranma out to the front of the Dojou… Ranma noticed that Kiyoshi was following as well.

"Give me your flask. The one with the cold water. I am _not_ getting stuck as a boy wearing this outfit." He demanded, holding out his hand to Ryu, who was smirking obnoxiously.

"Why should I?" Ryu replied, crossing his arms and looking superior.

"You helped my mother with her insane plan to feminise me… _and_ you told her I was engaged to Kiyoshi… and if you _don't…_ I'll just beat you up and take it from you." He said with a completely insincere, and slightly manic, smile.

"Ok, ok… I've got another one anyway." Conceded Ryu, who reached into his jacked and handed Ranma his insulated flask.

Ranma took it and tucked it into the pocket of his shorts. He turned to go, noticing that Kiyoshi was smirking at his brother, and was surprised when Ryu called out:

"Aren't you going to say 'Thank You'?"

"Thank you for what?" was all Ranma said as he started off towards the school, Kiyoshi following close behind.

He could hear Ryu laughing, but he didn't get what was funny, so he ignored him.

They'd made it a couple of streets when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Turning to look he saw Happosai, who looked completely exhausted, dragging a massive sack that was obviously full of his 'silky darlings'.

Ranma wondered where the old monkey had been for the last couple of days. Obviously whatever he'd been doing had been productive, if the size of the sack was anything to go by.

…

Crap. Happosai was headed back to the Dojou… where his mother was.

…

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

Xian Pu had also made him to wear his glasses, like Akane had done on their date. Except Xian Pu hadn't asked him nicely like Akane, instead she'd lost her patience when he'd gotten turned around and had mistaken someone else for her for the fifth time.

"Mu Tsu so stupid! He wear glasses now. He embarrass Xian Pu too much." She'd said.

So here he was, in one of the many women's boutique's that lined this street, watching Xian Pu go through rack after rack of clothing looking for 'cute things, make Mu Tsu look like girl'.

This was only the first shop that they'd been in, and he expected that they would go to many more before the end of the day. He was especially dreading the lingerie shop… it had been bad enough the first time.

He didn't even know why he had to come with her, she knew his size now, and he would have been much happier (though, define _much_) if she'd just gone to buy the clothes herself… the horrible thought occurred to him that maybe all she wanted him there for was so that he could carry the bags.

No, Xian Pu wasn't like that. There was no way she'd embarrass him like this if all she wanted was a pack mule.

…

No way at all.

…

"Ahh! This so cute." Xian Pu exclaimed, holding a horrible, frilly, pale purple… _thing_ against Mousse, as if to see if it suited him.

"Colour no suit stupid Mu Tsu, maybe colour suit Xian Pu." She sighed, taking the _thing_ away from him and holding it against herself.

"What Mu Tsu think? Colour suit Xian Pu?" she asked, and he had to admit that the pale lilac looked much better against her.

"It looks nice Xian Pu." He said, which seemed to please her because she placed the frilly _thing_ in the basket that Mousse was holding.

"Xian Pu buy then. Now find things for Mu Tsu." She declared, and went back to looking through the racks… he was so _bored_.

In quick succession a white thing, a pale lime-green thing, and another pink thing ended up in the basket. She was just examining a soft looking yellow thing when Ukyou Kounji entered the shop.

She was dressed as she usually was and was looking around surreptitiously. Mousse saw her walk over to a display of very tight, lycra mini-skirts in a range of lurid colours and shrugged… he didn't think they'd suit her.

"Ukyou-girl! What she doing here?" snarled Xian Pu, drawing his attention back to her. He also noticed that the basket now held the soft looking yellow thing, a pale mint coloured thing, two more white things and a black thing with white frills.

"I don't know Xian Pu." He replied, but she wasn't listening and was instead stalking over to Ukyou.

"What you doing here Ukyou-girl?!" she snapped, startling Ukyou.

"Shampoo! I'm after a new wardrobe; I can't seduce Ranchan back to the straight side with what I have now." She said, indicating her chef's uniform.

"Ukyou-girl no bother. Husband gay. He not even accept kiss from _Xian Pu_ yesterday." Xian Pu declared, puffing herself up and crossing her arms.

"Of course he wouldn't. But a kiss from his _cute_ fiancée… well that might change his mind." Ukyou said with complete nonchalance, as she picked up and examined a hot-pink mini-skirt.

"Xian Pu cute! Xian Pu more cute than Ukyou-girl! Xian Pu good wife, she decide if husband gay then husband have Mu Tsu, then all happy!" she declared, and Mu Tsu was sick of hearing how happy they'd all be if Saotome had him… he didn't want Saotome having him.

"Hmph! Like that will work. Even if Ranchan is gay, _Mousse_ certainly isn't his type." Scoffed Ukyou, saying his name like he was some sort of bug. Which he didn't like.

"Hah! Like Ukyou-girl husband type. Though Xian Pu suppose Ukyou-girl not even look like girl, so maybe husband like after all." Smirked Xian Pu, with her most superior look and drawing herself up further.

"Why You!... (no, no… no point in getting angry.) I may not look like much now, but just you wait, by the time I'm done here today Ranchan won't be able to resist me." Said Ukyou, puffing herself up even more than Xian Pu had.

"Xian Pu no care. Husband no able to resist Mu Tsu, no Ukyou-girl." Sneered Xian Pu, tossing her hair and grabbing Mu Tsu who she dragged to the cash register.

"Xian Pu find all good in store. We go next one." She declared as she shelled out a worrying amount of his savings for whatever it was she'd bought.

As he rolled the bangle on his wrist Mu Tsu looked back over his shoulder to Ukyou and saw her searching through the clothes with a look of determination on her face… Mu Tsu thought she looked kind of desperate, and a little sad.

This sort of thing… this sort of thing was what he didn't like about non Amazons. The way they were acting… instead of having a fight to determine who was superior, they were relying on their looks (well the looks of Ukyou and him), to prove their supremacy… what did looks have to do with strength?

Xian Pu dragged him to the next shop, and then the next, and the next, and the next, and the next. All the while the number of bags he was carrying grew until he felt like he needed to split into three in order to carry them all, Xian Pu bought an increasing number of things for herself, and his savings dwindled until they eventually ran out.

"Xian Pu buy clothes for Mu Tsu with own money, but Xian Pu tell Ku Lon so Ku Lon pay Xian Pu money Xian Pu spend." Was all she said, before dragging him into the next shop… the _lingerie_ shop.

Well, it sold lingerie _and_ sleepwear really… as well as swim wear.

He was standing there swimming in his own humiliation as Xian Pu cooed over little pastel silk camisoles, when he became aware of a smug gaze.

Looking around he spotted the perpetrator and felt his draw drop. Yep… Saotome was really going to have a hard time resisting _that_.

He wasn't going to laugh, he wasn't going to laugh… but she looked so _funny_, although that was a bit like the pot calling the kettle black.

A hot-pink lycra mini-skirt really didn't go that well with a violent lime-green and acid-yellow striped halter neck… and the bright-red high heels were just…

And then there was the _makeup_…

"Ah. This look so nice on Mu Tsu." Said Xian Pu, holding up a little lacy camisole and shorts Pyjama set…

…

…

He just had to remind himself that Xian Pu knew best, and if he screamed and ran far, far away she'd tell Ku Lon that he'd been hoarding money.

…

Ok he was just going to pretend that this was happening to someone else.

"Is that Ukyou-girl?" she asked, obviously having spotted the lurid, fluorescent apparition that was stalking them.

Ukyou just waved at them smugly and very deliberately picked up a hot-pink g-string and put it into her basket.

"Hmph! Husband have some taste." Was all that Xian Pu said, but he did notice that she was eyeing the g-strings as well.

He hoped like hell that she wasn't going to buy one. He _wasn't_ going to wear a g-string. He might be willing to put up with a lot of things to keep her happy but even he had a _limit_.

Eventually Ukyou left, it seemed that she didn't feel the need to buy out the entire store, unlike Xian Pu.

Watching them before Ukyou had left had been sort of funny. They hadn't said a word to each other, but had instead been very obvious about their individual purchases… Mu Tsu was lucky not to be the owner of half a dozen g-strings, though only because Xian Pu seemed to prefer frilly things instead.

He was really looking forward to when this day would be over.

"Come on Mu Tsu. We need go back to Café so you get changed. It almost husband lunch time, and we no waste opportunity."

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

He'd needed to use the bathroom. It was one of those unfortunate facts of life.

He'd made it down to the bathroom, turned himself human in order to see to his needs, and then turned himself back into a pig to go back upstairs, but it was after that that things went haywire.

He had no idea where he was or how he'd gotten there.

And he was in pig form, but at least he'd finally found his clothes and pack.

Life was so unfair.

Little did he realise that he was heading towards Furinkan High.

000


	14. Tick, Tick, Tick

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 14: Tick, Tick, Tick.

Rating: Teenish

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is not mine, and I am making neither profit nor prophet from this.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma.

Author's notes:

So sorry it took this long to finish this. Between moving furniture, fish-tank melodrama, stupid cultural studies essays and a visit from my Aunt who has a (diagnosed) Narcissistic Personality Disorder… well… I've been a _little_ busy.

Narcissists suck.

Gender pronouns apparently worry a few of you… I don't know what to do because my brain can't see Ranma thinking of himself as female even when he is. I'll try to make sure everyone _else_ refers to him as the gender he is physically from now on though. I'm still thinking how to deal with Ranma, but since he'll be stuck female for a while longer it's pretty safe to imagine him female unless stated otherwise.

_**Things That Might Make You Want to Jump Ship:**_ (oh yay, a new category)

I don't like Shampoo, so she's not going to come off that well here. You know how I said that 'Narcissists suck' up there , well, Shampoo's always come off way too narcissistic for my tastes. If you like Shampoo you may want to jump ship now.

Ryouga. I don't always like him either, so he's gonna have a few bad things happen. Bwa Ha Ha Ha.

Akane/Mousse. Well, Akane's going to be wearing the trousers in that relationship… so if you have a problem with that…

The story will be neither shounen ai nor het. I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his _entire_ self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate.

_**  
**_Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Yes I know that what Aiko is planning to do is pretty much as bad as what Ranma's other fiancées do.

000

(_Ukyou's POV_)

Being sexy was harder than it looked. Much, much harder. Her clothes were trying to kill her… But tight and skimpy was supposed to be seductive… right? So it didn't matter.

The high-heels were impossible; she couldn't understand how people walked around in them everyday. They were wobbly. She was going to fall flat on her face any minute now… which considering how short her skirt was, would probably end with her flashing a lot of things she'd rather not flash. Stupid g-string. So uncomfortable.

It would be worth it though, if she could just win Ranchan back. It was more than her honour that depended on her marrying him. If she was honest she… well she… she kind of, maybe, perhaps, was in love with him. Just a little bit.

She'd thought, before all this new trouble with that boy had happened, that maybe she had a chance. A real chance. He seemed to like her, like her company. More than he seemed to like the company of his other fiancées.

_Maybe Shampoo's right, maybe he only likes me because I look the most like a boy…_ whispered a small voice in the back of her head. _No. No, I'll __**prove**__ it. When he sees me like this he won't be able to resist me… and it won't be because I look like a boy_.

She paused for a moment to straighten her incredibly tight mini-skirt, which seemed to inch up with every step she took, and make sure the okonomiyaki that she'd prepared for Ranchan's lunch had survived her various stumbles. Seeing that everything was right to go, she started off again limping and stumbling every few steps as she tried to walk with a sexy saunter.

_Ranchan isn't going to know what hit him_.

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

He wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve this. He really, really didn't know. Though it made him cringe to think it, he suspected that Xian Pu might be a lot more selfish than he'd ever suspected…

…

He loved her. He had to love her. He'd _always_ loved her.

…

She'd left him to get dressed while she made lunch for Saotome. He glanced at the small pile of clothes on his futon and cringed. He wasn't looking forward to this.

On the plus side… sort of… if you didn't consider how it reflected on Xian Pu… over half of the massive amount of clothes that she'd bought on their shopping trip had turned out to be for herself. That was a relief. Even if he considered that she'd spent money that he really shouldn't be thinking of as _his_ on them.

He glanced again at the small pile of clothes and sighed when they hadn't disappeared. Why did she have to make a fool out of him? He loved her. _Unconditionally_. Which he'd thought was something noble and grand, but maybe conditions were a good thing… if he'd had conditions _cross-dressing_ would surely be one of them. He didn't really want to love somebody who got so much pleasure out of humiliating him.

…

What was he thinking? How could he be thinking like that? He was an Amazon. He was a male. And Xian Pu was all he'd ever wanted out of life.

Cringing and sucking in a deep breath he quickly stripped down and started to get dressed in what she'd left for him. He had a brief moment of difficulty when his bangle got stuck in one of the arm holes, but he found it too comforting to remove even for the convenience of getting dressed.

Well…

Maybe if he killed himself before Xian Pu came back he wouldn't have to go outside dressed like this…

Why did she insist on dressing him in pink? _Why_? And what was with the _ducklings_?

He suspected that she was making fun of him… and he didn't like it.

His new personal torment consisted of a pair of slate-grey denim overalls that ended in very short shorts with a little embroidered white _duckling_ on the bib, a very-pale-pink off-the-shoulder top with short sleeves and a pair of white over-the-knee socks as well as the same shoes as he'd been wearing earlier.

…

He supposed that he could hide more weapons in the overalls than in what he'd been wearing earlier… that was a good thing, wasn't it?

…

Maybe suicide really was the answer.

Before he had a chance to do anything but vaguely contemplate grabbing a knife and putting himself out of his misery Xian Pu breezed back into the room. She was wearing the frilly, pale purple _thing_ from earlier. The frilly, pale purple _thing_ turned out to be a dress… a _dress._ She'd been going to buy a _dress _for him…

She might have already bought a dress or even _dresses_ for him. It wasn't like he'd been playing any attention to the _things_ she'd been picking when they'd been shopping.

…

…

_Whimper_.

…

"_**Ahh! You look so **__**cute**_." She cooed, looking him over with sharp eyes.

"_**Um… Xian Pu?**_" He began, about to ask her _why?_ Why him? Why the stupid clothes? Hadn't he been good to her? Devoted to her? Why did she have to do this to him?

"_**But you're not ready yet. We have to do something about your hair.**_" She mused as she walked around behind him.

He was surprised to find that he flinched away from her when she got too close. He couldn't understand why he did it, and it seemed to irritate her if the way she grabbed his hair with a sharp tug was anything to go by.

He tried not to say anything as she forcefully yanked his hair into whatever style she was putting it into… but it _hurt_. When she was done he found his hair to be back in the high pony-tale from the day before and that she was now coming at him with the wretched, pink lip-gloss.

"_**You have five minutes to get your weapons and then we're going. Don't keep me waiting.**_" She said when she was happy, and his lips were pink and feeling sticky. She flicked her hair back and flounced out of the room.

He wasted about thirty seconds of the five minutes just standing there, with his arms wrapped around himself, trying to stop shaking. He sort of felt like he was going to die…

Slowly he recovered from his paralysing panic attack, to find himself once more rolling the bangle on his wrist. It meant that he was worth something… even if it hadn't been meant like that.

Quickly shaking off the last of his disorientation he started to arm himself, noticing as he did that his hands were still shaking a little.

When he was ready he took a few deep breaths, reached up and re-adjusted his glasses and went to find Xian Pu; remembering that he'd done the exact same thing earlier in the day. As he walked through the restaurant looking for Xian Pu again, he spotted Ku Lon who had obviously spotted him.

They stood there for about forty seconds, just staring at each other. He noticed with some detachment how she quickly took in his appearance, focusing intently on the bangle. Her face contorted into a fierce frown and she appeared to be about to say something when Xian Pu breezed up, grabbed him and started to drag him out of the shop.

He heard Ku Lon tutting behind his and turned around to see her shaking her head. Before he could really wonder what she was thinking Xian Pu had dragged them out onto the street and was declaring in Japanese:

"Hurry up stupid Mu Tsu. Husband lunch get cold if we no get there soon."

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

He was hungry. It was lunch time and he was hungry.

But at least he'd found some hot water and turned himself back human.

He had no idea where he was, but he thought he must be heading towards Okinawa.

Maybe he could find some lunch somewhere along the way.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

Ranma really made a terribly cute girl. That was the only way to put it.

Her fiancé and Kiyoshi had shown up at the school with only seconds to spare before the bell. The way Ranma was dressed… it was… it suited 'her'. So cute. So innocent of how cute 'she' was.

The shorts left 'her' long, shapely legs on display, and Akane felt a brief moment of combined envy and something else… but then she'd always known she had a thing for an attractive pair of legs.

Botan had looked so very cute in shorts.

After her revelation about being a glasses-pervert she'd been thinking long and hard. She really needed to know if she was attracted to Ranma. She wasn't sure. She'd thought she was… kind of, sort of, maybe… _sometimes. _Except that she'd never had the same heart-stopping feeling looking at him that she'd had looking at Mousse on their date.

She had a horrible feeling that she might be more attracted to Mousse than her fiancé.

Mousse

_Mousse._

Of all people…

It had to be the glasses. Which was why she'd devised a little scheme to see, once and for all, if she was attracted to Ranma. Because if she wasn't she'd decided that she'd do what she had to to make sure they never married.

She wasn't going to marry a person she wasn't attracted to.

So she'd gone up to one of the girls in their class – Mayu Ando (who wore very thick coke-bottle glasses, and was well known for always keeping a spare pair on her) –and borrowed the spare.

When she got a chance she was going to take Ranma aside, splash her and turn her male, and then force him to put on the glasses. If she wasn't attracted to her fiancé even with the _glasses_ then she'd know it was a lost cause.

She just hoped that Ranma wouldn't explode in her face, like 'she' had with Kuno. Her fiancé was looking increasingly worn around the edges, and whatever had happened the night before with Ryouga only seemed to have made it worse.

She didn't understand it. After she'd heard what had happened she'd been going to give Ranma a piece of her mind about bullying poor Ryouga but the look on Ranma's face had deterred her… that look said that there was something wrong.

It left her feeling a little bit uneasy… Ryouga wouldn't really try to do _that,_ would he? Sure, there was the whole Koi-Rod incident… but still…

Anyway!

The bell was about to ring for lunch and then she could corner Ranma with the glasses. She took a deep breath and gathered her things, as she walked out of the classroom after Ranma she vaguely noted that Ukyou wasn't there making an embarrassment out of herself.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

Unfortunately it was time to go home. Not for long mind you, but he probably needed to report back to his ma.

He'd found out a fair bit about Ranma over the last couple of days of talking to Nodoka. He'd also… _borrowed_ some of the photos she kept with her at all times. Photos of Ranma as a baby, as well as some later ones that panda-man had apparently sent her during their travels.

Whilst his information wasn't complete, and he was sure that Kiyoshi knew things that he was being his usual incommunicative self about, it was a good start on the portfolio that they'd have to send Jacob.

The main thing he needed now was some pictures of Ranma in female form… but since Nodoka was hanging around Ranma was stuck that way so it shouldn't be too difficult.

He was in a good mood, the weather was nice, and he'd probably have a couple of hours later to go out and satisfy the cravings of his libido…

Ah… Nerima was _nice_.

He reached their rather nondescript house and took a moment to just savour the day before going inside, he didn't have long his ma would have to get going to '_Kurosawa's _2' soon.

As he entered the house he became aware of his mothers laughter, which was almost hysterical. He followed it to the room that housed their personal bar and found her sitting on one of the bar-stools, draped over the bar, and laughing so hard tears were running down her face.

At her feet was an almost empty sack, a pair of French knickers peeking out of the top.

"What's so funny?" he drawled, and smirked when she startled.

"Ha ha ahaha _snort_ ha. I… hahaha, _Happi, _ahaha ah… _panties._" She mumbled in between chortles, barely coherent.

He decided to take the opportunity to pour himself a drink while he waited for her to calm down. He was nursing his single malt scotch when she finally regained enough composure to speak.

"Your father, he was a good man. I am so glad he decided to train me that little bit. If he hadn't I would never be able to wander around on top of any building I chose." She purred.

"Is there a point to this narrative?" he queried, still smirking.

"Of course, there's a point to everything… I'll tell you what I've been up to while you and your brother have been gone. I happened to notice Hap-pi wandering around being his usual perverted self and then an idea came to me… I've spent… oh I don't know how long… leading him around Nerima. Hanging panties from the highest and strangest places I could find… and just when he though that he'd found them all I'd put some more up… ha aha haaha I won't tell you _where_ I got the panties… but… ha ahaha ahahah aha ahah aaha aha aha." She chortled.

"Is that all… what about finding a way to trap Ranma in his… _exquisite_ female-form." He said, non-plussed.

"Is that all?... Well _I_ find it funny. Anyway, I needed a break. I've been getting nowhere. No one seems to know how to trap a person in their cursed form; the only leads I've been getting have been something about China and herbs… I don't know, but I'll keep trying. What have you got for me?" She muttered, looking less than happy.

"Not as much as I'd like, but I have some. I think Kiyoshi knows more than he's letting on." He said, handing her the folder of Ranma-facts.

She idly flipped through it making approving noises. "Mmhhmm, very good Ryu-chan." She purred, looking pleased before continuing with: "don't worry about your brother; I'll have a word with him."

"Fine, fine. I'll get going now… and you'd better too. You don't want to open up late." He said, with a nonchalant wave, before turning around and walking out of the house.

"Bye, bye. Ryu-chan." He heard as he left. He wished she wouldn't sometimes call him Ryuko or Ryu-chan; he was a man, not a woman or a kid.

As he strolled back to the Tendou Dojou he idly watched the… _scenery_. He felt like a nice, clean cut girl today. Or, at least, a girl who _seemed_ clean cut… maybe a couple of girls…

He offhandedly noticed Kasumi Tendou walk past on the other side of the street carrying a big, overly full basket. Hmm… he wondered where she was going… Oh well.

Tomorrow was Saturday… Saturdays were good days. Well… Saturdays had good _nights_.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

Well… that was that wasn't it? It was done. She had her answer.

It felt like she could breathe for the first time since Ranma had shown up. Such a great, smothering, destructive weight had been lifted from her chest.

She'd dragged Ranma aside, somewhat forcefully, and into the empty nurse's office. A quick splash of hot water, an argument over the glasses, a good long look at him later and she knew.

She was more attracted to him with the glasses, but she found him nowhere near as attractive as she'd found Mousse. They wouldn't work out. He wasn't her type. She wasn't going to marry him.

She was free.

All she had to do was tell him…

Because after she'd forced the glasses on him and taken her look, he'd flounced off after turning himself back female with what appeared to be Ryu's flask. Ranma didn't seem particularly inclined to talk to her again either.

He was, of course, lurking around Kiyoshi again. She didn't get it… and she didn't even know if it was any of her business anymore. The large Kurosawa seemed to somehow reassure Ranma, but she wasn't sure why. She also suspected that Ranma wasn't aware that 'she' was being reassured.

She wondered if, now that she'd decided not to marry Ranma, maybe they could be friends. When they weren't arguing about something incredibly stupid they got on reasonably well… and she could still remember the sort of _sisterly_ feeling she'd felt towards Ranma when they'd first met and she didn't know that Ranma was a boy.

It would be worth it, to be Ranma's friend.

Making up her mind she squared her shoulders and made her way over to where Ranma was sitting next to Kiyoshi on the ground underneath one of the trees at the edge of the forest on the Furinkan High grounds.

She plopped herself down opposite Ranma, who was picking at something he'd gotten from the cafeteria, and began to eat the bento that Kasumi had packed for her. He quirked his eyebrow at her but shrugged and went back to his food when she didn't say anything.

She noticed that Kiyoshi was giving her a bemused smile and she frowned at him. He just smirked back at her, shook his head and gave Ranma a proprietary glance that her ex-fiancé didn't notice.

She was just wondering if he'd caught on to her giving up Ranma when a series of whistles, whispers and catcalls dragged her attention away.

…

Poor Mousse.

…

…

Poor, poor, Mousse.

…

Shampoo (who was wearing a horrible, frilly, lilac monstrosity) was dragging the boy, who looked like he'd rather be _anywhere_ else, towards them. He was dressed in a new, highly pink, very girly outfit. She felt embarrassed just looking at him… and considering that everyone else in the school was also looking, it wasn't surprising.

"Oh Gods…" whimpered Ranma; she whipped her head around to look at him to find 'her' very pale and looking very unhappy.

"Ahh, husband! Xian Pu bring dumplings and Mu Tsu. He look cute, yes?" the Amazon girl simpered when she saw them.

"No. No. No, no, no, no, no, _no_. Shampoo what are you _doing_?" snarled Ranma, his whole body tensing up.

"Xian Pu bring lunch for husband. Mu Tsu feed lunch to husband. Is old-fashioned, but some Amazon husband still feed wife. Though husband no Mu Tsu wife… but in Japan make sense, yes?" Shampoo chirped, opening the food delivery box she was carrying and removing a plate of dumplings.

"He's not feeding me!" snapped Ranma at the same time that Mousse shrieked:

"Xian Pu! You didn't say anything about feeding him! I'm not feeding _Saotome_!"

"We discuss what happen if Mu Tsu no do what Xian Pu say, yes?" Shampoo said, with a completely insincere smile, to the Amazon boy. She frowned at him for a second before reaching out and grabbing his glasses, even as he flinched back, and flinging them onto the ground.

"Mu Tsu no look cute with glasses." Was all she said before turning her attention back to Ranma.

She could vaguely hear Shampoo simpering at her ex-fiancé, but her attention was riveted elsewhere. Mousse had bent down to pick up his glasses and was inadvertently giving her a very good look at his very long, very smooth legs… as well as a plump and curvy bottom.

…

She wasn't just a glasses-pervert. She was a plain old _pervert_.

…

As well as a hypocrite.

How many times had she called Ranma a pervert? Too many. _Far too many _if looking at Mousse's legs was making her feel weird and breathless.

She was brought out of her perturbed musings when Ranma shrieked: "Ukyou?!!!" in abject horror.

Looking up she saw Ukyou stumbling towards them dressed like some sort of… _something_.

…

Poor Ranma.

000

(_Ranma's POV- Female Form unless otherwise stated_)

Hiroshi and Daisuke were speaking to him again… which would have been a good thing if they hadn't patted him on the back and given him a speech on how they accepted his '_differences'_ and how it only made sense for someone with his unique '_talents'_ to be attracted to men…

He had a vague and horrible suspicion that they might have been jealous…

Blech!

He was really starting to get why Akane didn't like men.

The rest of the boys were still avoiding him though… except, of course, for Kuno; but after he'd nearly flattened Kuno when the older boy had come rushing over to embrace his 'pig-tailed goddess' Kuno had been skulking around looking deeply offended.

He may have been slightly more brutal than usual… but even looking at Kuno rushing towards him with open arms had given him a feeling of immense dread combined with white-hot rage.

Oh well.

Akane's weirdness was continuing. Just after the bell for lunch had rung she'd dragged him into the nurse's office… he'd had a brief moment of worry that _she_ was going to try to seduce him straight as well… of course if she tried he'd have been forced to knock her out and flee.

But all she did was splash him so he was male (which he wasn't happy about considering what he was wearing and the fact that said clothes had gotten unpleasantly tight), and forced him to put on a pair of coke-bottle glasses. He wasn't too happy with the idea but he'd done it, even though looking through the lenses had been deeply unpleasant and made him feel sort of sick.

When he'd put on the glasses she'd just stood there and stared at him for a bit and eventually he'd lost patience, taken off the glasses given them back to Akane rather forcefully, turned himself back female and stormed off.

He didn't get her… he really didn't.

And now she was sitting with him and Kiyoshi… who he was only sitting with because other people tended to avoid him if he did, and he suspected he was rapidly coming to the point that he'd lose his already frayed temper if he had to deal with anymore _stupid_ from other people.

He was picking at the whatever-it-was that he'd distractedly gotten from the cafeteria, not really feeling like eating for once, when a feeling of inescapable dread overcame him.

Looking up when he heard the catcalls and whistles he saw Shampoo dragging Mousse towards him. Mousse was once more wearing girls clothing… only it wasn't as funny today, not with Ranma himself dressed like he was.

He idly wondered where the bicycle was, as Shampoo didn't usually show up on foot, but quickly put it out of his mind, he had more pressing concerns.

"Oh Gods…" he, well to be honest, whimpered. Why couldn't they leave him alone?

"Ahh, husband! Xian Pu bring dumplings and Mu Tsu. He look cute, yes?" Shampoo asked him. Did Mousse look cute? No. Not at all. Mousse looked freaked out, yes, but cute… no.

"No. No. No, no, no, no, no, _no_. Shampoo what are you _doing_?" he snarled, he didn't need this. Not here. Not at school… not ever.

"Xian Pu bring lunch for husband. Mu Tsu feed lunch to husband. Is old-fashioned, but some Amazon husband still feed wife. Though husband no Mu Tsu wife… but in Japan make sense, yes?" declared his now least-favourite person, displaying a plate covered with what were truly delicious smelling dumplings.

"He's not feeding me!" he snapped as he heard Mousse shriek:

"Xian Pu! You didn't say anything about feeding him! I'm not feeding _Saotome_!"

No way was anybody feeding him. He could feed himself.

He watched Shampoo threaten Mousse and fling his glasses on the ground and wondered why Mousse put up with her.

His attention was dragged away when he heard Akane make a small choking noise, he turned to face her only to find that she'd gone a bright brick-red and had the weirdest look on her face. Akane was weird.

"But Xian Pu make dumplings special for husband. They good. Special recipe, traditional dumplings made by husband for wife. Very good for Mu Tsu to feed to husband." Shampoo simpered, waving the dumplings under his nose. He had to admit that they looked good; but he wasn't hungry and he wasn't being fed by _Mousse_.

He was saved from having to answer when a second set of whistles and catcalls drew his attention to… _Ukyou_?

"Ukyou?!!!" he shrieked, his very bad feeling becoming worse.

"Hiya Ranchan." Ukyou sort of… tried to purr as she came up to them and sat down next to him right in his personal space.

"No. no. Ukyou… what are you _doing?_" which was surprisingly like what he'd said to Shampoo only minutes before. What _were_ they doing? Did they think that humiliating him was any way to win his affections?

He started to inch away from her.

"I've brought you your… _lunch_." She breathed, bending forward and giving him a look down her top that he didn't want.

He inched further away from her.

"It no use Ukyou-girl. Husband gay. See he back away from you." declared Shampoo, who looked incredibly smug.

"He's just a little shy. Don't worry Ranchan; I can bring you 'round." Ukyou whispered, moving closer to him in what she must have thought was a seductive way.

He tried to inch further away, but he'd run out of inches unless he wanted to crawl into Kiyoshi's lap.

…

He wondered if that would deter her.

Before he had a chance to try she'd reached out, grabbed him and was trying to kiss him.

…

He lost his temper.

"Stop it Ukyou! Just _STOP IT!!!_" he shouted, pushing her backwards and standing up.

She landed awkwardly with her skirt showing a lot of other things he didn't want to see.

"WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU!! Look at _you_. This isn't you Ucchan!" he shouted, clenching his fists. He was choking on his rage.

"Ranchan… Why?... It's true isn't it? You really are gay." She said, looking up at him with huge eyes.

That was it, that was the final. _Fucking._ Straw. Why him? _**WHY?**_

"Shut up Ukyou! I'm _NOT GAY!_ Why did you think I'd find _this _seductive? You look like a _WHORE_!" he yelled, looming over her.

"It doesn't matter Ranchan. Shampoo's not the only one who can be supportive. I understand." She said, completely not listening to him.

"Ukyou… _leave._ Leave _now_." He whispered, barely stopping himself from lashing out physically.

"Ranchan…" she whispered, apparently finally noticing that he was losing his temper.

"_**NOW!**_" He screamed, lunging towards her.

She scrabbled backwards and managed to stand up. She looked at him for a second, probably seeing the way he was twitching with wrath. She seemed to think for a moment before taking off her shoes and running as fast as she could away from him.

He stood there frozen. Panting as he struggled to contain himself.

His anger was devouring him, he could feel himself become lost, immersed in white hot wrath. At the same time it also felt like part of his consciousness was sort of floating back into his mind.

"Ah. See. Ukyou-girl no as understanding as Xian Pu. Xian Pu make better wife." came Shampoo's perky chirp, through all the layers of his fury.

He was moving before he'd even thought about it. His arm lashed out towards her face, he just wanted her to _shut up_. All his pain, all his fury, all his battle aura went into the strike.

Somehow he managed to pull himself up short, stopping the strike, and somehow his battle aura, before it made contact with her.

He didn't hit girls.

He especially didn't hit girls with strikes that would in the least crush their nose, if not their entire face.

He slowly turned to face Shampoo, who had gone totally still with her eyes as large as plates focused on the arm he held barely a centimetre from her face. He just looked at her for a second, feeling his fury bubble under the surface, before he dropped his arm and staggered into the trees.

"Xian Pu!" he heard Mousse shriek behind him, but he ignored it. He ignored them all.

He stumbled deeper into the trees until he ran into one. Slowly turning around he let himself sink to the ground with his back against its trunk.

If that strike had landed it probably would have killed her, martial artist or not.

He didn't know what to think.

But he was still _soo_ angry; he was still choking on it.

He stayed there huddled against the tree trying to calm down. He'd almost reached an unearthly stillness when he heard the sound of a twig snapping.

It was most likely Kiyoshi, coming to check on him… which made him feel strange. Sort of relieved.

When he looked up however, he found himself making eye-contact with Ryouga Hibiki.

They froze there staring at each other for a second.

He felt odd. Sort of like he felt just before the Nekoken; except that instead of the cat welling up in his mind as his consciousness retreated, it felt like pure, white, light.

Pure, white, fury.

000


	15. Boom

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 15: Boom

Rating: Teenishishishish

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that Ranma ½ is not mine. I am also up to no good.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma.

Author's notes:

ARGH! So sorry this took so long. Crap happened. Bad crap. Busy making, bad crap.

My mum's going to China for three weeks on Tuesday and with less than a week to go…

The dog ate her passport.

I kid you not.

The dog _ate_ her passport.

She miraculously (and expensively) managed to get a new one and a new Chinese Visa, but still…

It was bad for a couple of days there.

Add to that that we've been running around getting everything ready for her to leave… well, I've been distracted.

_**Things That Might Make You Want to Jump Ship:**_ (oh yay, a new category)

I don't like Shampoo, so she's not going to come off that well here. Shampoo's always come off way too narcissistic for my tastes. If you like Shampoo you may want to jump ship now.

Ryouga. I don't always like him either, so he's gonna have a few bad things happen. Bwa Ha Ha Ha.

Akane/Mousse. Well, Akane's going to be wearing the trousers in that relationship… so if you have a problem with that…

The story will be neither shounen ai nor het. I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his _entire_ self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate.

_**  
**_Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Yes I know that what Aiko is planning to do is pretty much as bad as what Ranma's other fiancées do. See above.

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 14: Tick, Tick, Tick.

_**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO READS THIS, OR READS THIS AND REVIEWS THIS. YOU ARE GREAT, GREAT PEOPLE. I ADORE YOU!**_

Ok, I'll stop being creepy now, but I am grateful.

000

(_Shampoo POV_)

She felt her legs fold up underneath her. So scary.

"Xian Pu!" shrieked Mu Tsu, rushing towards her as she fell.

So scary. So, so, very Scary.

Was that really Ranma? Was that really her husband?

That creature oozing battle aura from every pore. That creature that managed to stop a strike that would have _obliterated_ her… a mere _centimetre_ from her face…

He was magnificent.

Truly magnificent.

He was really the only man worthy of her. This was why… this was why she could never be happy with an Amazon.

They were _weak_.

They were all weak.

Even though her honour was in danger, she was deeply, personally glad that she'd come to Japan. If she'd stayed in her village she'd never have seen the world the way she did now. She would have remained small, petty, ignorant.

"Xian Pu! Xian Pu! What's wrong! Xian Pu!"

Mu Tsu was kneeling in front of her with wide, worried eyes. He was fussing at her, trying to get her to reply and distracting her from her thoughts.

He was nothing. An irritant. Why couldn't he ever do what she wanted him to?

Thoughtlessly she lashed out with a sharp back-hand.

He lost his balance and lay there, slumped, with his hand on his quickly reddening cheek.

The way he was looking at her; huge wounded eyes and a trembling lip… how _dare_ he. He loved her. He'd always loved her. She had every right to do whatever she wanted to him.

She'd put up with enough _crap_ because of his love for her.

She could remember the young women of her village always going on about him:

'_Ahhh… Mu Tsu has such nice hair'_

'_He's such a good cook, and look at him… so pretty.'_

'_His weapons proficiency is __**amazing**__; Mu Tsu would make anybody such a good husband.'_

'_Xian Pu, I don't know what's wrong with you. Any other woman would love a husband like Mu Tsu.'_

'_Xian Pu I challenge you! If I win, Mu Tsu is __**mine**__.'_

Constant, irritating, pervasive.

At least in Japan she didn't have to put up with it. Ku Lon had never been too keen on the idea of her marrying Mu Tsu.

The old ghoul had too much of a soft-spot for the stupid duck, and seemed to think that she wouldn't make him a good wife.

That was another thing… she was even being considerate; she hadn't called him 'Stupid Duck-Boy' in days. Why was he giving her so much trouble about seducing her husband?

It wasn't fair.

He went on and on about how much he loved her but wouldn't put any proper effort in doing something to prove it.

He had no pride when it came to her anyway, so why should it matter what he did to make her happy?

Because being able to marry Ranma (even with the unfortunate inclusion of her idiotic, unwanted suitor) would make her very, very happy.

"Shampoo! What did you do that for? snarled her husband's uncute fiancée, going up to Mu Tsu and holding out her hand.

"Its ok Mousse, let me help you up." The uncute-girl said, helping the stupid duck to his feet with a gentle smile.

Stupid girl. Stupid, useless, _weak_, girl.

Did she really think that she was a match for Ranma?

She couldn't even touch him. He was so much stronger than her.

She was inferior.

And now she was challenging Xian Pu for Mu Tsu as well.

The bangle was bad enough. Terrible really. Especially since the stupid duck was actually wearing it.

If Akane was an Amazon and knew their rules and customs she'd be worried… sort of.

But it wasn't like Akane could actually beat her, so she really shouldn't be worried.

But the bangle. The bangle and what she'd said just then…

Akane had been challenging her.

Not an overt, properly worded challenge… but a challenge…

She couldn't let anything get in the way of her plans. Mu Tsu was important if she wanted to win her husband.

How funny was that? Mu Tsu was _important_. Ha!

But Akane could never beat her so it didn't matter.

"Come stupid Mu Tsu. We go now." She said, climbing to her feet with complete serenity and turning to the duck.

She frowned when he flinched away from her and towards Akane… he actually looked scared of her.

Stupid, stupid boy.

"Now Mu Tsu!" she snapped, grabbing his arm and dragging him away from the uncute girl. Vaguely noting that the tall-boy had disappeared.

"Shampoo!" Yelled Akane, but Xian Pu ignored her.

"Shampoo, wait! Shampoo." The uncute girl kept yelling.

Xian Pu heard running footsteps and then Akane was standing in front of them forcing her to stop. The uncute-girl was surprisingly fast.

"Shampoo! Stop it! It's gone far enough. You can't seriously think this is going to work." Akane yelled, waving her hands at Mu Tsu.

"It good plan. It work. Not your business, uncute-girl." She snapped, sick of her husband's stupid fiancée.

"It doesn't matter if Ranma's gay. It doesn't even matter if he (heaven forbid) finds Mousse attractive… but _Mousse_ deserves better than this." The uncute-girl challenged. _Challenged_. What right did she have?

"It no matter to you what Mu Tsu deserve. Mu Tsu deserve nothing." She declared. It was none of the uncute-girl's business and it wasn't going to become any of the uncute-girl's business. Not as long as Xian Pu lived.

"It does matter to me. It has to matter to _someone_." Snarled Akane, who wasn't backing down like Xian Pu thought she should have.

"You say I no take care of Mu Tsu? That you say?" Xian Pu hissed, getting very irritated.

"Yes. That I say! If you cared about him you wouldn't be doing _this_ to him." The stupid girl kept yelling.

"It no matter what Xian Pu do to Mu Tsu. Mu Tsu _male_, he property." Xian Pu said, pointing out the obvious. She was getting sick of this stupid confrontation with her husband's stupid, uncute fiancée.

She started walking again, ignoring Akane, and pulling along a rather stunned looking Mu Tsu.

"Shampoo! Shampoo, don't walk away from me!" snarled the stupid girl, but before Xian Pu was forced to do _something_ to stop Akane from following them a piercing shriek of pain rent the air.

She realised that it had come from the area that her husband had staggered off to, but a seconds contemplation told her than it wasn't him.

She watched with vague bemusement as Akane ran towards the shriek, before grabbing Mu Tsu again and dragging him off of the school grounds.

She'd have to keep him away from Akane… things between them were developing in a worrying direction. Mu Tsu was _hers_. She was the heir of his current guardian and she wasn't going to let Akane steal him from her.

Not that Akane could… but still.

'_thunk'_

A sudden increase in tension in her grip on Mu Tsu made her turn around only to discover that he'd run into a telephone pole.

He hadn't put his glasses back on when she'd taken them off him.

That was good, it meant that he was still obeying her… but since she now cared whether or not he walked into traffic she'd have to do something about his eyesight.

The glasses weren't cute, and he needed to be cute in order to win Ranma… but maybe contact lenses?

000

(_Ukyou POV_)

He was gay. He was _gay_. He _was_ gay…

She'd hoped…

She… loved him… she hadn't wanted him to be gay.

She knew that she didn't know much about being a girl… but she'd hoped that she could seduce him back to being straight.

But he was gay.

She'd known from the start that there was one thing she could do to win him if he really _was_ gay. But she'd hoped…

Ranchan must have suffered so much. He must have… being forced to hide himself all the time…

And what she'd done today… and the day before…

It had upset him.

It had upset him so badly.

She felt bad… she felt like a fool.

She should have just gone with her first plan… but she'd hoped.

She'd hoped that he wasn't really gay, because _Ranchan_ couldn't be gay.

Not her strong and manly Ranchan.

But he was.

She'd bought these stupid clothes for nothing.

Stupid, stupid clothes.

But there was still something she could do. She hadn't lost yet…

Shampoo was right; he had only liked her when she looked like a boy.

She could be a boy… she'd spent most of her life being a boy.

She could be as much a boy as that tall, scary creature Ranchan was always hanging off.

She could.

000

(_Ranma's POV- still in female form_)

With a jerky lurch he forced himself to his feet. He wasn't going to appear weak in front of Ryouga. Though the _pig_ probably already thought him weak for what had happened in the bathroom.

He wasn't _weak_.

He could feel his muscles twitching; his fists unconsciously balling, his body falling into a natural, defensive posture. It was hard to keep control.

He'd never let himself really lose control before.

It was different with the Nekoken. It wasn't him.

"Ranma…? What are you doing in Okinawa?" asked Ranma's current second least favourite person.

"Okinawa? You're still in Nerima. This is Furinkan High." Ranma ground out between clenched teeth, hoping that Ryouga would just leave before he really lost it.

"… Oh. For a minute there I thought…" Ryouga murmured, blushing a little.

Why was he blushing?

"You thought _what?_" Ranma hissed; getting a very bad feeling. Again.

"Well… that maybe you… um… you'd _followed _me." Stammered the pig.

"Why would I have followed you?" he asked, completely without inflection. The white fury in his mind was starting to blind him.

"Well… you have been hanging around that boy… man… _thing_. And everyone seems to think you're gay… even Akane thinks you're gay. And you always get between me and Akane, when you and I both know _I'd_ be a better fiancé for her. You're rude to her. And! You tend to dress up as a girl and say you're my fiancée… so I was thinking (just then, mind you) that maybe you're in love with me. Yes. You're in love with me. That's it, it explains everything!" declared Ryouga; at first looking nervous but rapidly gaining confidence.

Ranma felt something in his mind go _crack._

He was moving.

Fast, agile, deadly.

Ryouga had just begun to say something else, and Ranma vaguely heard the words:

"So if you're in love with me then you won't mind"

Before his fist made contact with Ryouga's face.

_He wasn't weak_.

It felt strange. Cold. Distant.

His body was moving, but he didn't even feel as if he was really there.

Fists, feet, elbows, knees…

When had Ryouga gotten so slow? When had he gotten so weak?

Why wasn't he fighting back?

'_Crack.'_

He didn't know if he heard it of felt it… but he somehow knew he'd just broken some of Ryouga's ribs.

He was sick of it.

Sick of everyone treating him like some fleshy, meat-puppet. So sick of dancing on everyone else's strings.

He didn't even know who he was.

Everything about him was shaped by someone else's expectations.

_Be a man amongst men_.

_Never be weak._

_Never cry._

_Never feel._

_It doesn't matter what they do to you. It doesn't matter how much they hurt you. What they think of you._

_It doesn't matter, nothing can touch you._

_It doesn't matter._

_Never let anyone get close. Not really._

_Never let them see that you're scared._

_That you're stupid._

_That you're lonely._

_That you don't really know who you are._

_That you can never escape._

_Never be free…_

_He was nothing._

_Only a thing for everyone to use and abuse 'till he was as empty as he felt._

Every day it felt like he was back in that pit. In the dark. The cats were coming for him.

But now…

Now he was free.

He was _flying_.

His body was so light. It was so easy. He'd never fought like this before.

'_Pop'_

"Iiiiiiyaaaaaaaaaaarggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

He felt Ryouga scream as he wrenched the pig-boy's arm from its socket.

Ryouga thought he was weak. Ryouga had scared him. Ryouga had _made_ him weak.

How dare _he_.

How _dare he_.

_How dare he._

"Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhnnn"

Ryouga shrieked again, as Ranma yanked hard on his dislocated arm.

Ryouga was nothing.

Nothing.

A waste of space.

Of breath.

Of life.

He was misery.

Helplessness.

Fear.

He was Genma Saotome.

Kuno.

Kodachi.

_Shampoo_.

Cologne.

Mousse like he used to be.

Nabiki.

Akane at her worst.

Ukyou in her stupid clothes.

Pantyhose Taro.

Soun.

Happosai.

Ryu.

Ryu's mother.

All of them.

Every one.

He yanked Ryouga's arm again, but Ryouga seemed to have fainted.

Ryouga was helpless.

Defenceless.

Just like he'd made Ranma, for those couple of seconds.

For the Koi-Rod incident.

That still made Ranma's skin want to crawl off.

He'd have let Ryouga do _anything_ to him. _**Anything.**_

He couldn't bear it.

Did Ryouga really think _that_? That Ranma was in love with him?

Didn't he understand that the reason he didn't want Akane getting too close to Ryouga was that he _knew _Ryouga.

Knew what he was capable of.

Knew that he was as fucked up as Ranma himself.

Fucked up worse really.

Ryouga was dangerous.

Lonely, scared, angry.

Bitter.

He could never take responsibility for his own actions.

Akane didn't need that.

She deserved better. He could never make her happy.

He'd just try to control her.

But Akane needed to be in control.

Ryouga would take her and destroy her.

Ranma hated the thought. Hated it.

Akane wasn't always kind to him and he didn't always like her…

But he could remember what she'd been like for those few brief hours before she knew he was a guy.

He'd always wanted to meet that Akane again.

Ryouga destroyed everything. They all destroyed everything.

It would be easy.

He could see it now… see the strike.

One quick blow and Ryouga would be no more.

It was so tempting…

He stood there, still holding Ryouga's dislocated arm, and stared at the pig's neck.

Stared at his pulse.

One strike and it would stop. It would be over.

Ryouga would be over.

Ranma could hear his own pulse in his ears… it was so loud. So deafening.

It was strange… he felt strange.

Wrong.

This wasn't him.

He wasn't like _this_.

_This wasn't him_.

The white washed out of his world. The fury. The anger.

He dropped Ryouga and staggered backwards.

He was going to collapse, he was going to faint, he was going to vomit.

He'd been going to _kill_ someone.

Kill R_youga_… his not-really-a-friend.

He staggered back further and felt the strength leave his legs.

Before he hit the ground he felt something large and warm scoop him up, felt arms wind around him, felt himself cradled close to a broad chest.

He looked up to find Kiyoshi holding him and looking down at him with concern.

He felt weird.

He'd been so cold, but Kiyoshi was so warm…

Kiyoshi's heat was leeching into his flesh and chasing away the chill.

It was comforting.

He felt himself go limp and his consciousness start to drift… lulled into relaxation by the strong heartbeat pulsing through Kiyoshi's chest.

He felt safe.

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

The obnoxious Chinese girl had collapsed.

Good.

He got to his feet to follow Ranma but was distracted for a minute when he saw the bitch lash out at the familiar looking boy wearing women's clothing.

…

Wait…

Wasn't that the boy that had unwittingly helped them find Ranma?

Yes. Yes it was.

Well…

He wondered if he should do something, but the look on Akane's face made it obvious that his help wouldn't be needed.

He walked into the trees, and quickly became aware of the sounds of a fight. He sped up, wondering who Ranma could have found to fight in so little time.

It turned out to be the bandannaed pervert.

Not that it was really a fight. A fight implied a certain reciprocity.

What it was was the bandannaed pervert being pulverised.

Ranma was totally expressionless, totally empty.

Kiyoshi knew that look, knew that feeling, knew that fight.

Ranma was angry…

No. Beyond angry… _furious_.

Kiyoshi had fought like that before, when he was younger.

He knew how destructive it could be.

He knew that you could do stupid things.

Knew that if you weren't careful you could find yourself in a place in which it would be easy to kill.

He was thankful that the last time he'd fought like that his father had been around to keep it from getting out of hand.

Even if Ranma was out of control Kiyoshi's fiancée was beautiful. He'd never seen anyone fight like that before. So _fast_. So graceful. So perfect.

Ranma's battle aura flared like the sun.

Kiyoshi couldn't see a weakness, couldn't see a fault in Ranma's defence.

Kiyoshi had been trained to see a fault in _anyone's_ defence.

Ranma was exquisite…

It left Kiyoshi feeling sort of breathless.

The bandannaed pervert hadn't even been able to land a strike, which seemed to confuse him. He kept trying to lash out at Ranma but wherever he struck Ranma was long gone.

Kiyoshi watched as Ranma broke his opponent's ribs.

Broke his opponent's nose.

Bruised his kidneys.

And finally dislocated his arm…which Ranma kept on yanking.

Kiyoshi was very glad that he wasn't the bandannaed pervert.

It was then that Ranma reached that deadly, quiet place. That place where his opponent's fate would be decided.

Kiyoshi, strangely, felt no compulsion to interfere. It was Ranma's fight. Ranma's kill if he so chose.

The oddest thought floated across his mind, _if Ranma killed the boy, Kiyoshi would help him hide the body_. He wasn't used to thinking like that.

That wasn't him, not usually.

But still…

Something had changed. Ranma seemed to have come back to himself. Kiyoshi watched his fiancée stagger backwards… Ranma was going to collapse.

Without even thinking he rushed over and caught his fiancée before Ranma hit the ground. He unconsciously cradled Ranma close to his chest… feeling him tremble, and looked down at him with concern.

Ranma looked back up at him for a minute before his eyes sort of glazed over and he went still… Kiyoshi would have been worried but he could see Ranma breathe.

He knew he had to get them out of here… he doubted that Ranma wanted to deal with the results of his temper loss.

He looked down at the unconscious form of the bandannaed pervert and wondered what he should do… it probably wouldn't be a good idea to just leave him; he obviously needed medical attention…

But Kiyoshi didn't care all that much.

He was saved from having to do anything when Akane burst into the clearing. She stood there staring at them for a couple of seconds before he nodded to her, rearranged Ranma, and began to run.

He was out of the school in seconds and heading for the park…

He doubted Ranma wanted to return to himself at home, and it wasn't like Kiyoshi could take his fiancée back to his house…

You never knew when his mother could be lurking around, and if she saw him cradling a semi-catatonic Ranma she'd get irritating beyond words.

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

Ow.

Oh Gods…

Ow.

000


	16. Comfort Zone, Pandas, Perverts and Pant

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 16: Comfort Zone - Pandas, Perverts and Panties.

Rating: Teenishesque.

Disclaimer: Do I have to? Alright. Ranma ½ is not mine… can I go now?

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma.

Pairings of Maybeness: Ryu/Kasumi (weird I am), Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

Finally got this bit done. My brain kind of went '…' for a while there. You may have noticed that I posted a possible prologue for another fic, but worry not, I have at least four (including this one) chapters of Ranma's… Husband? Stuck in my head that want out.

There may be one small problem though… come next week and it's the second OUA study period, and I'll be taking on twice my usual course load. I hope that it will not totally occupy my life.

_**Things That Might Make You Want to Jump Ship:**_ (oh yay, a new category)

I don't like Shampoo, so she's not going to come off that well here. Shampoo's always come off way too narcissistic for my tastes. If you like Shampoo you may want to jump ship now.

Ryouga. I don't always like him either, so he's gonna have a few bad things happen. Bwa Ha Ha Ha.

Akane/Mousse. Well, Akane's going to be wearing the trousers in that relationship… so if you have a problem with that…

The story will be neither shounen ai nor het. I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his _entire_ self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate.

_**  
**_Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Yes I know that what Aiko is planning to do is pretty much as bad as what Ranma's other fiancées do. See above.

_**THANK YOU FOR READING. THANK YOU IF YOU REVIEW, OR HAVE REVIEWED. JUST THANK YOU.**_

000

(_Ranma's POV - female_)

Warmth.

Movement.

_Thump thump_ – heartbeat.

Safe.

Slowing.

Stopping.

Rest.

Comfort.

Embraced.

He came back to his senses to discover himself sitting on Kiyoshi's lap, wrapped in the tall boy's arms, with them both sitting under a tree in the park.

How had he…?

The last thing he remembered was…

_Ryouga_.

Oh Gods…

And then…

Kiyoshi. Kiyoshi had caught him before he collapsed.

Kiyoshi was _warm_.

Even though he felt sort of sleepy and as if he didn't want to move, he realised that it probably wasn't a good idea to remain cuddled up to Kiyoshi. If it wasn't giving his fiancé ideas it certainly was the people walking by and occasionally staring.

They must have looked a cute couple, but he wasn't in the mood to give people ideas.

He must have moved because Kiyoshi released him from his embrace. He carefully eased himself off of Kiyoshi's lap and onto the ground, noticing as he did that he was shaking a little bit.

He felt drained.

He carefully manoeuvred himself into a cross-legged sitting position half slumped against Kiyoshi… Kiyoshi was warm, and he felt as though he needed that warmth.

"You ok?" Kiyoshi asked, looking at him with concern.

"Yes… No. Maybe… I don't know." He murmured, really not sure but embarrassed of the fact.

Kiyoshi studied him for a moment and then gave him a reassuring smile. They sat there for a few minutes, in silence, with Kiyoshi soaking up the sun and him soaking up Kiyoshi's heat. Suddenly something occurred to him.

"What happened to… you know, _him_?" he asked, not sure if he wanted to know.

"Don't know, I left him with Akane." Kiyoshi replied, not looking all that concerned.

"Akane?..." he queried, hoping that it wouldn't all end with her beating him up.

"Yeah. She showed up just before I got you out of there." Replied Kiyoshi, looking up at the sky.

"You… so that's why we're here." He murmured, looking around. The park was surprisingly nice when all you were doing was sitting there and not running around after or from one of the many idiots in your life.

"Mmmhhmm." Murmured Kiyoshi in affirmation, looking totally relaxed in the sunshine.

He sat there feeling warm and lazy for a few minutes before he remembered what he'd been asking.

"Um… Ryouga. Did I?… Is he?..." he queried, not sure how to ask if he'd killed his… whatever Ryouga was. Certainly not a friend.

"Ryouga…? Is that the bandannaed pervert? I wouldn't want to be him right now, but he'll be fine." asked Kiyoshi, turning his head to look at Ranma.

"Bandannaed pervert?... _Ryouga?_ That's new, most of the time everyone just blames _me_ for whatever he's doing." Ranma snickered; relieved that he hadn't killed Ryouga but also sort of happy that for once someone wasn't on the pig's side.

"Blame you? Why would they blame you?" Kiyoshi asked, and Ranma remembered that the Kurosawas still knew nothing about his rivalry with the pig.

"Ryouga is… well… it's not what you and Ryu think… _exactly_. He's my rival. He used to be my friend… _sort of_. We fight a lot. He's in love with Akane… he's also P-chan, her pet piglet. He fell into the spring of drowned piglet at Jusenkyo… well… I kinda, _accidentally_ mind you, pushed him into the spring of drowned piglet. But I didn't know that at the time, and that's why I haven't told Akane that he's… you know… sleeping in her bed most of the time. Which is stupid, isn't it? 'Cause if you think about it that makes him a pervert more than anything he's ever done to me. Doesn't it?" he explained, sort of surprised that Kiyoshi had listened to it all without interrupting and without looking bored.

He was still a little… _confused_? _Freaked out_? _Uncertain_? About Ryouga. His rational mind knew, or at least he thought his rational mind knew, that Ryouga wasn't interested in him and wouldn't try to… but! Some small part of him really didn't want to see Ryouga ever again.

It was confusing.

"Hmm… to me it sounds like he fell into an incredibly _appropriate_ spring at Jusenkyo..." snorted Kiyoshi.

Was Kiyoshi saying that Ryouga was a pig?

Ranma found himself giggling at the idea, which only earned him an amused smile from Kiyoshi.

Kiyoshi seemed to think for a minute before hesitantly saying:

"It's not my place to tell you what to do, which I know is what people tend to say before they do just that, but I think Akane deserves to know her pet isn't what he seems. It's… well, what he's doing is not the sort of thing an honourable man would do, its taking advantage. If it was an accident when you pushed him into the spring… you said sorry I presume?..."

"Yeah." He affirmed, nodding his head.

"Then if it was an accident then he has no right to expect you to keep something like that from her. If he was just pretending to be her pet then it would be different… _I guess_, but he's sleeping in her _bed_. " Kiyoshi declared. Looking stern and confident.

"It's just that Akane doesn't listen to me. _And_! She always takes Ryouga's side." He sighed.

"She's got to be wondering about what happened today… this might be an opportunity to get her to listen." Kiyoshi said, smiling at him again.

"_Maybe._ I'll try." He muttered, still not sure. Akane could be stubborn, particularly when it came to not listening to Ranma.

They fell into silence. The heat of the sun combined with the heat of Kiyoshi was making him sleepy and he sort of let his mind drift. He let his gaze wander, watching the people walking past… half of which seemed to by trying not to let him see that they were watching him. Finally his eyes came to rest on Kiyoshi's face and he was struck, just for a second, by how handsome Kiyoshi was.

With his high cheekbones; slanted, gentle, dark-mahogany eyes; deep voice; tanned skin; handsome yet kind face; height; and obvious musculature… Ranma had no idea how someone like that could have trouble getting a girlfriend. No idea at all. What on _Earth_ was Kiyoshi doing hanging around _him_?

He was brought out of his musings when Kiyoshi started to speak.

"I'm sorry about all this. It was my mother's idea; I know it can't be easy for you."

"Nothing ever seems to be easy for me" he sighed in reply, thinking about all the lunatics that seemed to be attracted to him.

"It doesn't seem fair. Doing this to you. You seem to attract enough… crazy… without us adding to it. But it's impossible to reason with her once she gets going and Ryu's always on her side…" Kiyoshi said tilting his head back up to the sky and sighing.

It was nice. Someone he was engaged to actually cared how their actions effected him… he wasn't used to the idea.

"So you don't want to marry me then?" he asked, honestly curious.

"Not if you don't want to marry me. Despite what my mother thinks I can actually get a girlfriend… have actually had _girlfriends_, but they always get sick of my '_obsession_' with martial arts." Kiyoshi said, turning his head to look at Ranma again.

"Martial arts… you're a martial artist? I thought so but I wasn't sure… You any good?" he asked, curious. Kiyoshi certainly seemed like he'd be strong enough.

"Not as good as you… but I'm alright. Haven't practiced since we moved though, and even if it's only been a few days I still feel edgy." Kiyoshi said, smiling at Ranma again.

"We should spar then. Not today. But someday soon… maybe tomorrow? I could do with a bit of practice against a new opponent." Ranma said, perking up a little. He wanted to see how Kiyoshi fought but he was still feeling too tired (he didn't know why either) to spar just then.

"Yeah… that would be good." Kiyoshi replied with a smile, before they both fell silent again.

It was a comfortable silence, but there was something worrying at the corners of Ranma's mind.

"Wait. You said you didn't want to marry me if I didn't want to marry you. What did you mean?" he asked, honestly curious. What _had_ Kiyoshi meant?

"You're nice enough. Good company. Your female form is really very attractive, and even if I don't like guys you male form is alright too. There would be worse people to married too… which I'm sure _you_ know. But if you aren't interested then I'm not interested either. I don't believe in forcing people to do what I want." Kiyoshi said, with utmost seriousness.

Kiyoshi found him attractive… he should be repulsed. Why wasn't he repulsed?...

Sure, he didn't feel like climbing on top of Kiyoshi and kissing him breathless, but still… not repulsed. Not even nervous of Kiyoshi either. He just felt warm, comfortable, and relaxed.

Weird.

"But… your mother?... The deal? What, um…?" he stuttered, not sure how to ask Kiyoshi what he wanted to know.

"I'm going along with her. I promised that I'd stay close to you, which I am, and that's all. You'll eventually find someone you want to marry and we'll go our separate ways. She'll just have to deal with it." Kiyoshi declared.

"Oh…" He didn't know if he was happy or disappointed. Why he should feel disappointed he didn't know, but still… didn't Kiyoshi really want to be here with him?

He must have broadcasted his distress… was it distress? Distress seemed too strong a word… he must have broadcasted his _whatever_ because Kiyoshi suddenly smiled at him and said, "Don't worry, I like hanging around you."

"I wasn't worried." He sulked, not wanting Kiyoshi to think that.

"Ok, if you say so." Kiyoshi smirked.

"I _wasn't_." he… well, _pouted_.

"Don't worry, I believe you." Kiyoshi said, but Ranma didn't believe him.

Ranma huffed to himself but didn't say anything more.

Eventually Ranma's irritation waned and they fell back into their comfortable silence. The day was warm, Kiyoshi was warm, and he was drowsy. Softly, and barely noticing it, he fell asleep with his head resting on Kiyoshi's shoulder.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

Ryouga was irritating.

Where had he gotten to?

All that effort, all that fear, all that running around to get him help and the minute he's bandaged up he runs off.

She bet he got lost looking for the bathroom.

She sighed, and stepped out of Dr. Tofu's practice. She'd just spent the last hour searching the building for him. He must have gotten outside which meant the Gods only knew where he was now.

It would be alright though; Dr. Tofu said there wouldn't be any permanent damage, so she wasn't that worried.

It had been a hectic few hours though… coming into that clearing to find Ryouga a bloody mess at the feet of Kiyoshi who was cradling Ranma.

Kiyoshi had, _of course_, then run off leaving her with sole responsibility for Ryouga. She wasn't happy about that but she hoped he had a good reason. She hoped Ranma had a good reason as well.

She knew that Ranma was responsible for whatever had happened to Ryouga, she'd known it from the second she'd entered that clearing, but she couldn't understand _why._

She knew that in all the time she'd known Ranma, in all the fights she'd witnessed, he'd never gone that far.

Never.

Which said something about him, as well as something about what had happened with Ryouga. It also meant that whatever happened probably wasn't Ranma bullying Ryouga… she was kind of worried that Ryouga might have done something to Ranma to make him act like that.

It was a thought that worried her.

Ryouga couldn't have…

_Could he?_

It was _unthinkable_.

But she wasn't going to know for sure until she found one of them, and since Ryouga had wandered off it would be a while before she got to talk to him. Maybe Ranma was back home, if he was she could ask him then. First things first she had to get home herself.

Sighing she started to walk home, lost in her thoughts.

It had been shocking when she'd first seen Ryouga. She hadn't known what to do…

Did he need to go to a hospital? Or would Dr. Tofu's be good enough? Or maybe the school nurse's office? And how to get him there?

In the end she'd run back to the school and got the nurse. The nurse had taken one look at Ryouga and called Dr. Tofu… apparently Ryouga was too injured for the nurse, but not injured enough for the nurse to call an ambulance.

Akane didn't understand it personally… she suspected the nurse was just lazy.

A lot of heave-ho later and Ryouga was at Dr. Tofu's office (Akane sometimes forgot how strong Dr. Tofu was), getting patched up.

Then she'd left the room to get a cup of tea and when she returned he'd vanished.

It was irritating.

Hopefully Ranma would be home and then all her questions would be answered.

000

(_Genma's POV- earlier in the day_)

He was sweeping the entrance to the Tendou Dojou.

He was sweeping.

In no way was he seething with rage.

At least that _Ryu_ had left, though Genma suspected that he'd be back later.

Ryu was lurking around Nodoka, Genma's _wife_, and worse… the way he was looking at Ranma.

Genma didn't like Ryu. Not at all. Kiyoshi was pretty intimidating, and sort of… _worrying_, but he had nothing on Ryu.

Kiyoshi didn't seem the type to try and force anything, and Ranma was more than capable of taking care of himself in such situations. But Ryu…

Ryu was one of _those _boys. _Even if Ryu wasn't strictly a boy._ The sort of boys who had girls eating out of their hands…

Particularly naïve girls who knew little about being girls…

Even if Ranma was _actually_ a girl, he didn't know much about the sort of people that were out there…

And it was obvious that Ryu had some effect on Ranma.

It was Ryu that he had to protect his son's virtue from.

If it was any other boy, like Kuno for example, he didn't worry. He knew well enough that his son would wallop anyone who tried anything… but Ryu…

His mind _helpfully_ supplied him with an image of what it would be like if his son married the elder Kurosawa.

_You see a run-down and very small house. It is in a bad neighbourhood and you can hear dogs barking, cats wailing, children screaming, couples fighting and the wail of sirens. It is early morning._

_The inside of the house is a mess. It's obvious that someone has been trying to keep it clean, but the house is old and sort of falling to pieces. The effect is not helped by the children's toys that are spread everywhere, often with small children fighting over them. _

_The children also seem to have drawn on the walls at some point._

_Ranma, in female form and dressed like the perfect housewife, is cooking in the kitchen while heavily pregnant. _

_There are two small boys, who look like miniature versions of Ryu – complete with arrogant smirk, fighting over a toy at her feet. _

_Another group of small children are sitting on the floor a way away from her scribbling in colouring books._

_She looks tired, and older than her years. Her eyes keep going to the clock, and she obviously worried about something._

_Suddenly the front door opens and Ryu staggers in terribly hangover, dishevelled and covered in lipstick kiss marks._

_Ranma turns off the stove and runs out of the kitchen to meet him. He doesn't look happy to see her and when she meekly asks where he's been he slaps her across the face._

_She holds her cheek and starts to cry but doesn't reprimand him._

_He gives her a dark look of disgust before staggering off to the bedroom to lie down. She stands there a moment, in the midst of screaming small children, before going back to the kitchen to finish cooking breakfast._

_**CRACK**_

The handle of the broom disintegrated from the pressure exerted by his paws.

ARRGHHHH!

No! It would not happen!

He would do something about it.

Before he could run off, find Ryu and brutally murder him Soun appeared. Crap. Genma hoped he wasn't about to be lectured on family responsibility.

Especially not from Soun.

The hypocrisy would be painful.

Just as Soun opened his mouth to say something movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.

Happosai.

Happosai...

Nodoka was in the house.

He acted without thinking and caught the old pervert, complete with sack, out of mid air before he could enter the Tendou compound.

Ignoring Happosai's spluttering and threats he reached out with his other paw and grabbed Soun.

He dragged them both away from the Tendou Dojou and to the empty lot not that far from there.

Aiko knew Happosai, she'd called him Happi, that meant that Happosai might have some answers. He needed answers. Answers could be used to make the Kurosawas go away.

Soun was trying to say something but he ignored him.

When they got to the empty lot he dropped Happosai and let go of Soun, not a moment too soon if the look on Happosai's face was anything to go on.

Before the old pervert had a chance to do anything he whipped out one of his signs and scribbled away frantically. He wished he'd thought to bring some hot water.

"**How do you know Aiko Kurosawa?**" he waved his sign at Happosai.

"You better not have damaged my silky darlings." Snarled Happosai, fishing through the sack to make sure everything was alright.

"**How do you know Aiko Kurosawa?**" he waved his sign again.

"Good. Everything seems to be fine. Somebody was being too, too cruel to these poor delicate panties. The places I found them…" Happosai mumbled, paying Genma no attention.

"**How do you know Aiko Kurosawa!**" he thwapped the pervert over the head with his sign.

"What?! Who?... Oh, _her._ I almost forgot that you'd done something so stupid. Ahh… my silky darlings with your pretty, pretty lace, distracting me from my stupid students." Said Happosai.

"**How do you know Aiko Kurosawa!**" he waved the sign again, this was getting beyond annoying.

"Yeah, yeah. Let me tell you a story. A story that spans many years and many places. A story about a girl and a generous and gentle old man…"

_Yeah right_, thought Genma.

"Once, long ago, I was on a training journey, travelling throughout Japan. I came upon this town, a desolate town, a town that had once been prosperous but had fallen to disrepair. In this town I found a girl, a bright little thing, all of ten years old. She was lonely and miserable and I offered to train her… little did I know the horror that she would one day become."

"Apparently the girl's mother didn't want her to learn martial arts, but valuing the art as I do I decided to teach her a couple of basic things anyway. She proved to be an apt and talented pupil, and soon she was helping me with my _training_ in the town."

"Unfortunately the women of the town got together and drove me away and I was forced to leave my pupil behind… it would be four years until I saw her again. I was passing through the same part of Japan and found myself in the red-light district of a larger town."

"There was a… _bar_, not really a hostess bar and not really a brothel, but something in between. I was taking a well-earned break at that bar when I found her again. She recognised me even if I didn't recognise her. She got me to promise to train her in exchange for her helping me out with liberating some silky darlings. Unfortunately I was driven out of the town before I could complete my part of the bargain."

"The next time I saw her she was seventeen. She was working at a different hostess-bar and had grown into a beautiful young woman. I was enraptured. You may not believe it of me, ungrateful shits, but even though I appear as a stern and serene master of the art… I have a soul. I have a heart. I have passions and desires."

"I found myself drawn to her and she, at first, seemed to appreciate the attention. She listened to me, listened to my worries, my fears, my plans. At the time I had already taken the two of you as students so she listened to my complaints about how thick you were."

"I thought I was in love. But it was not to be. All she wanted was for me to teach her the art; she never really cared for me. I found this out when her brutish thug of a boyfriend showed up."

"You may have heard of him… Renjirou Kurosawa. The Mountain. Heir of the Kurosawa family. He is the father of Ranma's new fiancé."

"He was a jealous man. A jealous, covetous man. He found her talking with me one day, away from the bar. He lost his temper. I am a master of the art but he took me by surprise. He would have killed me if I wasn't so much faster than him… but he was _strong,_ very, very strong. I learned that day that 'The Mountain' was really a volcano."

"The thing I remember though, is the sound of her laughter. She was giggling as he pursued me, giggling as he destroyed half the town in search of me, giggling at my misfortune. It was then that I realised that all she wanted from me was to learn the art. She didn't want me for myself. I swore that she'd never learn the secrets of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts"

"I ran into her a few times after that. She always tried to get me to teach her, but I knew better. I knew she wasn't to be trusted. I kept my vow… until you wrecked everything."

The strange thing was, that for most of his narrative Happosai looked thoughtful, serious and perhaps a little sad…

Could the old pervert _actually have feelings_?

No. No way.

_Impossible_.

He didn't believe it; it had to be a trick of some sort.

But more importantly he had to defend himself from totally unjust accusations.

"**It wasn't my fault. I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing**." He wrote.

Only Happosai had wandered off and was counting his new panties.

"We really have to discuss this at some point Saotome. Ranma is engaged to how many people? This isn't fair on my poor Akane." Whined Soun.

"**Don't worry, Ranma will marry Akane. I will make sure of it.**" He wrote, hoping that he never had to actually answerthat _particular_ question.

Before they went back he had to deal with making sure Happosai say anything incriminating to Nodoka… or _do_ anything to her.

It had been amazing being in the same house as her… she still made his heart skip a beat, even if things had gotten so bad at the end.

He honestly wondered why Happosai wasn't murdering him. He'd done something that should have made his master pulverize him but Happosai was all but ignoring him.

Looking over at Happosai he understood why.

The haul of panties was something awe inspiring even when it was only partially unpacked.

G-strings, y-strings, t-strings, thongs, French knickers, bikini cut, high-bikini cut, low bikini cut, full briefs… everything imaginable, and in every colour imaginable.

No wonder the old monkey's mind was elsewhere.

Genma took a deep breath and walked over to Happosai, he was going to get the old pervert to agree to be on his best behaviour if it killed him.

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

Ow.

Where, ow, was he?

Ow.

He'd woken up somewhere, ow, strange and when he'd gone to find where he, ow, was he'd, ow, gotten lost.

Ow.

He was, ow, surprised he wasn't, ow, dead.

Ow.

Maybe, ow, it would be a good, ow, idea to stay away from Nerima, ow, for a while… oh Gods, until Ranma calmed down.

Ow.

Ow.

Oh Gods.

Ow.

Not that, ow, he, ow, knew what had set Ranma, ow, off.

But whatever, ow, it was, it wasn't, ow, good. Ow. He'd never, ow, seen Ranma like that, ow, before.

Ow.

That was scary.

Ow.

Very, ow, scary.

But he thought he, ow, was right, ow, he was sure that, ow, Ranma, ow, was in love with him.

Ow.

Ow.

He didn't, ow, know what to think about that, ow. The thought, ow, that someone was in, ow, love with him was sort of… ow… _nice._

Ow.

But, ow, Ranma was scary. Ow. Very scary.

Ow. And a boy.

He was in, ow, love with Akane, ow, anyway, so he, ow, didn't need to think about it.

No.

Ow.

Think, ow, about something else, ow…

Ow.

Oh Gods.

Ranma's, ow, female form was pretty, ow, though.

Ow.

000


	17. The Not a Date

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 17: The Not a Date.

Rating: Teenishesqueish.

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah… I take it you know what that means right?

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma.

Pairings of Maybeness: Ryu/Kasumi (weird I am), Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

La, la, la. Nothing major to put here. Enjoy please.

_**Things That Might Make You Want to Jump Ship:**_ (oh yay, a new category)

I don't like Shampoo, so she's not going to come off that well here. Shampoo's always come off way too narcissistic for my tastes. If you like Shampoo you may want to jump ship now.

Ryouga. I don't always like him either, so he's gonna have a few bad things happen. Bwa Ha Ha Ha.

Akane/Mousse. Well, Akane's going to be wearing the trousers in that relationship… so if you have a problem with that…

The story will be neither shounen ai nor het. I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his _entire_ self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate.

_**  
**_Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Yes I know that what Aiko is planning to do is pretty much as bad as what Ranma's other fiancées do. See above.

_**THANK YOU FOR READING. THANK YOU IF YOU REVIEW, OR HAVE REVIEWED. JUST THANK YOU.**_

000

(_Nodoka's POV_)

Every one had left.

She was all along in the Tendou Dojou.

First Ryu had gone, then Kasumi, and finally Soun and Mr. Panda seemed to have disappeared.

Strange.

She wasn't sure what to do. She'd been on the phone with the builders repairing her house when Soun left so…

Hmm…

Maybe she could bake a cake. She knew how the Tendou's oven worked and Ranko had so liked the cake she'd brought home with her.

Making up her mind she went into the kitchen and started looking for ingredients.

After looking in the cupboards and the fridge she decided to make a strawberry sponge cake.

She wondered how Ranko was going; the girl had certainly been reluctant to try on any of the clothes she'd gotten for her… and her reaction to the underwear…

What sort of father must she have if a girl wearing girl's underwear was considered perverted?

But the end result had been pleasing; of course Ranko would have looked nicer with her hair done and wearing a little makeup… but it might take a while before she reached that point.

The Kurosawas had certainly been impressed, she hoped that she wouldn't have to have a talk with Ryu about appropriate ways of looking at one's brother's fiancée, and Kiyoshi had looked very approving.

He seemed a nice boy. Lacking somewhat in social skills if you weren't Ranko, but nice. He certainly always had a smile for his fiancée even if he had a scowl for everyone else.

They were very handsome, the Kurosawas. Unusually tall, unusual curly hair, and beautiful slanted eyes.

There was something about them that reminded her of a couple of big-cats… they were like… hmm… Ryu was like some sort of slinky thing… a panther she thought, but Kiyoshi… Kiyoshi was a tiger.

Ranko was definitely lucky in her fiancé. Nodoka just hoped that she wouldn't screw everything up. Ranko definitely wasn't ready for a relationship.

She knew next to nothing about being a woman.

Nodoka hoped that she'd be able to help her without it ending up with Ranko making the same mistakes that Nodoka herself had.

She missed Genma. She hated thinking about it but she'd been missing him ever since he left.

It had all gotten so screwed up.

She blamed her mother.

If she hadn't listened to her so-called '_advice_' then he probably never would have left… not that he was the most communicative man. He never said anything when things were bothering him.

She'd liked that. At the start. He'd been so… _stoic_.

She'd been raised in a household that had very strong ideas of _masculine _and_ feminine,_ ideas that she still lived with for the most part, even when she suspected that they may not in fact be based on reality.

When she'd met Genma he'd been so interesting, so _different_. Nothing like the type of boy she was used to.

He'd been a _man_.

A _thief_ it later turned out.

She'd only been seventeen – six years younger than him – and she'd never felt like that before.

He'd been so considerate. Even when he didn't have very much money he was always buying her presents, always trying to put her first.

Her parents hadn't approved, and had declared that they wouldn't stop her from marrying him but they also wouldn't help her financially. She hadn't cared.

They hadn't had… _relations_ before they were married and on the night before their wedding her mother had taken her aside and given her some advice.

Advice that turned out to wreck their entire marriage.

The advice had consisted of a list of things a woman shouldn't do if she wanted her husband to love and respect her.

_Never initiate 'relations'._

_Never enjoy 'relations' (and if you do don't let him know)._

_Turn away from him if he wants 'relations' more than three times a week._

_Criticise him if he talks about 'relations'._

_Never let him be alone with another woman._

_Don't encourage him to talk about his feelings, it isn't manly and will dishonour him._

_Don't nag him; if you are unhappy with him silence is much more effective._

_A wife is not a man's friend. Remember to keep that distinction._

And so on.

Following those rules had driven him away.

She knew it had.

But first it had driven him to drink.

She knew now that behaving like that was unhealthy; she had happily married friends and had seen how their households worked… they worked nothing like the household of her parents, or the household that she'd shared with Genma.

She supposed that it didn't help that the more uncertain she became of what her mother had told her the more obsessed she became with her families gender ideology.

She was angry with him though.

Instead of trying to fix everything that had gone wrong he'd fled… and taken her son with him.

She still felt uneasy about the contract she'd signed before he left. But it had made him happy; she wanted him to be happy after everything.

She just wasn't sure she could really tell what 'a man amongst men' was.

And there was this small voice in the back of her head that often asked if being such a thing was really important.

She tried not to listen to that voice.

He wanted his son to be a man amongst men… she would do what he wanted.

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

Why?

Why, Gods, why?

Perverts.

Perverts everywhere.

They'd gone back to the Cat Café only to find Ku Lon waiting for them with a murderous expression on her face.

She'd taken Xian Pu aside and berated her thoroughly, though Mu Tsu didn't know about what. After that Xian Pu had retreated to the kitchen, which she refused to leave, and Mu Tsu got stuck… waitering.

It seemed that one of their regular waitresses was sick so the Café had been understaffed while they'd been gone… and they Xian Pu had taken control of the kitchen so he was stuck filling in for her.

He wasn't having fun.

Within about half an hour the perverts had started to show up… It seemed that word had gotten around about his outfit.

The Café was now filled with strange middle aged men and giggling teenage girls.

He felt naked.

On display.

Like an object.

Every time he moved he could feel their eyes following him.

And they kept dropping things that they tried to make him pick up.

Ick.

He was having a bad day.

He actually felt sorry for Saotome.

The way Xian Pu was carrying on… and Ukyou…

That still freaked him out.

Xian Pu could be cruel… she'd almost broken his glasses.

He was wearing them again, she wasn't around to yell at him, and they made a good shield against the world. He'd never felt less cool than he did currently.

The strange thing was that Akane was still being kind to him… he wasn't used to it.

She'd actually defended him against Xian Pu earlier, after Xian Pu had made Saotome explode.

It left him feeling warm… the bangle, what she'd said, all of it. If she was an Amazon he'd have thought that she was…

But no. Even if she was an Amazon why would she? He was hardly a good catch; Xian Pu had him convinced of that.

He sighed and dodged the outstretched hand going to grope his bottom. He sort of wished that he was back home.

His mother never did things like this to him and he missed his father and his little sisters.

But he'd made his decision. He loved Xian Pu so he would accept his fate.

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

He awoke with a start. It was dark.

Where was he?

Oh yeah… the park.

The park with Ranma.

Looking down he saw Ranma's red-haired head still nestled against his shoulder.

What time was it?

Checking his watch he found it to be surprisingly late; they'd definitely missed dinner, and he suspected that every one would be wondering where they were.

Crap.

He didn't think Ranma needed people thinking along those lines.

It had been nice, earlier, before he'd fallen asleep as well.

The weather had been so nice lately and there was nothing like sitting and enjoying the sun with a pretty, interesting girl. Even if that girl was a boy.

A boy who wasn't interested.

Not that he should be interested either.

Stupid brain. Why couldn't it be obedient?

But sitting there together had been… nice.

It had even been nice when Ranma was awake; even if Ranma wasn't quite himself and Kiyoshi himself wasn't the world's best conversationalist.

So the bandannaed pervert was called Ryouga… he was also the black piglet. Kiyoshi wondered why Ranma had told him that, but then Ranma _had_ seemed a little out of it.

Kiyoshi wasn't sure if Ranma would actually tell Akane about Ryouga, and if he didn't Kiyoshi didn't feel comfortable telling her himself… it felt like it was something said in confidence… but even so.

If he saw the piglet hanging around again he'd do something about it.

He probably should wake Ranma up but it was nice sitting like this… and what could it hurt?

It was strange; it had taken Ranma asking whether or not Kiyoshi wanted to marry him for Kiyoshi to actually realise he was seriously attracted to Ranma.

It was sad. Sad, stupid and pathetic.

Because even as he realised that he was attracted to Ranma he realised that he could never force anything on him.

He seemed destined to be alone. He'd finally found his perfect girl (and Ranma was _really, really_ his type) and he couldn't have her… him.

…

Suddenly his stomach rumbled and he realised exactly how hungry he was.

The noise must have woken Ranma because he made this tiny mewling noise and started to shift. Kiyoshi looked down at him and watched as large, luminous, blue-black eyes slowly opened, before blinking stupidly a couple of times.

"Wha…?" Ranma mumbled, frowning up at Kiyoshi.

It seemed to take a few seconds for everything to register with Ranma, but when it did he jumped away from Kiyoshi in surprise.

"What? Where?... Why is it dark?" Ranma spluttered, looking around wildly.

"We're still at the park… we must have fallen asleep." He replied.

"Oh… so, earlier… actually happened?" Ranma whispered.

"Yeah…" he replied, not knowing what to say.

Their stomachs took the opportunity to grumble in unison, and Kiyoshi realised that if he was hungry then Ranma must be starving. His fiancée hadn't had breakfast and had hardly eaten any lunch.

"What time is it? 'm hungry." Asked Ranma, leaning in and turning his head to try and see Kiyoshi's watch.

"It's late… a bit after half past nine. I doubt there'll be any dinner left." Kiyoshi answered, his stomach rumbling again.

"Oh… damn. I missed breakfast, and then…" Ranma murmured, eyes going distant.

Kiyoshi thought about it for a minute and had an idea, he just didn't know if it was the sort of idea that Ranma would go for.

"Well… since we missed dinner back at the Dojou, why don't we go get something to eat?" he asked.

"Dinner… with _you_? I'm not going on a date with you." Ranma declared, crossing his arms.

"Not a date. You're hungry and I feel like I could eat a whole stable, so unless you _want_ to go hungry…?" he cajoled.

"I don't have any money." Said Ranma.

"I'll pay then." He said, money not really being an issue for him at the moment.

"You can't buy my affections." Ranma stated, crossing his arms.

"Not trying to buy your affections." He said, amused.

"Alright. But it's _not_ a date." Ranma declared, getting to his feet.

Kiyoshi soon followed suit and they found themselves standing there unsure of what to do.

"So… what do you want to eat?" he asked after a minute of awkward silence.

"I don't know… Not ramen, dumplings or okonomiyaki though." Ranma muttered.

"Hmm… why don't we wander around? See what we find." He said, not sure what he wanted himself, but knowing why Ranma wouldn't want anything he'd listed.

Ranma really did attract lunatics.

They walked out of the park shoulder to shoulder, in silence. He wasn't sure what to say, and Ranma's mind seemed elsewhere.

As they walked through the streets he noticed a few envious glances from some of the men they passed…

They must have looked like they were on a date, and Ranma's female-form was very good-looking.

Idiots.

There was no reason to play nice with them so he let his face fall back into its customary glare; it was quite satisfying when they started to flinch away from him.

They walked along in silence, but it was a comfortable silence; there didn't seem to be anything that they _needed_ to say to each other.

000

(_Nodoka's POV_)

Ranko hadn't come home yet. Neither had Kiyoshi.

It was after half past ten at night.

She hoped they were alright.

Something had obviously happened.

Akane had come home early and in a bad mood. Her son's fiancée wouldn't tell anyone what had happened; she just mumbled something about 'Ryouga' being stupid.

Nodoka had no idea who Ryouga was.

Or what he had to do with anything.

But for some strange reason everyone else in the house had just sighed and nodded their heads, understanding whatever Akane had meant.

Ryu had also never turned up, but she wasn't exactly worried about _him_.

Earlier in the day, while she was waiting for the sponge cake to finish baking, Soun and Mr. Panda had returned looking dishevelled and dragging a strange, little old-man, who was covered in dirt and carrying a large sack.

It turned out that he was Happosai; Master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts.

The problem was that every time she approached him to ask about her husband and son Mr. Panda would interfere and try to catch her attention.

Eventually Happosai had disappeared somewhere in the house with his sack, and she was forced to admit that she wasn't going to get a chance to talk to him just then.

She wasn't happy with Mr. Panda.

After giving up on Happosai she'd gone back to the kitchen to finish making her cake. She'd gotten it out of the oven and left it to cool on a rack before making her attempt at discovering more about the missing members of her family.

She'd sliced the sponge into thirds, pleased with its texture, colour, and lightness, and spread fresh, sweetened whipped-cream and fresh strawberries between the layers. A quick sprinkle of icing (aka confectioner's, or powdered) sugar on the top and it was ready.

She was pleased with the cake.

She had just finished dusting it with the sugar when Kasumi came home and proceeded to ooh and aah over it. Kasumi had also asked her to teach her how to make a sponge cake; apparently that was one of the few things she couldn't cook, which was a pity because it was one of the favourite cakes of almost everyone in the house.

Nodoka was pleased; she liked the thought that she'd prepared something that would be appreciated.

Of course she'd agreed to teach Kasumi how to bake a sponge cake, and was thinking of making it into an exercise for all the girls in the house… Ranko had the potential to be a very good cook, with a little training, but Akane… Akane still needed work. A lot of work.

It wouldn't be fair on Ranma to expect him to put up with a fiancée who couldn't cook anything that wasn't highly toxic.

She did like Akane though. She was a nice girl… not very good at being feminine, which also needed work… but a nice girl.

Though she wasn't sure that Akane was suited to her image of the man her son had become…

She'd ended up handing out slices of her cake for afternoon tea, though she'd made sure to keep some aside for Ranko and Kiyoshi…

Akane was miserable, and she'd given the first piece to her in order to cheer her up.

Then Nabiki had shown up and pretty much demanded a piece if her sister was having one.

Then she'd seen Kasumi eyeing the cake but not saying anything so she'd given a piece to her, because she really did like Kasumi.

After that it didn't seem fair not to give a bit to Soun.

Mr. Panda had been upset when he didn't get one, but she wasn't happy with him so he wasn't getting one.

She'd had a sliver herself, just to see what it was like…

It was delicious… she had always been very talented at making confections. It was a talent that she'd hoped to pass on to her daughter… if she'd ever had one.

She wished she had a daughter.

Anyway.

Dinner had been fairly uneventful…

Happosai hadn't come to the table and Soun had sent Kasumi into his room with a try of food… she had been disappointed.

She didn't know what was going on… maybe Happosai was like Genma had once been… _stoic_.

After dinner the Tendous had had a strangely stilted conversation before all going to bed. She'd stayed up.

She was waiting for Ranko; she had to know the girl was alright before she went to bed.

Mr. Panda also seemed concerned about his owner… he'd been sort of restless all afternoon and had eventually fallen into a sort of dark mood.

He was pretty scary for a panda. He reminded her more of a grizzly bear than anything.

She was sitting in the dining room reading a romance novel while Mr. Panda sulked in the corner when she heard someone opening the front door.

Running out into the hallway she found Ranko and Kiyoshi looking at her with startled expressions on their faces.

"Ranko! Thank the Gods you're alright. Where have you _been_? It's almost eleven." she found herself babbling in a slightly hysterical tone.

"Um… we kinda fell asleep in the park. We didn't mean to stay out so late, except when we woke up we figured dinner would be over so we went and got some unadon (grilled eel on rice)… and then I felt like a desert so we went and got some ice-cream and Kiyoshi felt like a coffee so…" Ranko mumbled, looking embarrassed.

Oh… they'd been on a _date_.

Oh. Oh!

A _date!_

She suspected her face had just fallen into a stupidly soppy expression but she didn't care. Ranko had gone on a date with her fiancé.

She was so pleased. It was a good step forward for the girl.

"It's alright Ranko. Did you have a good time?" she asked, wanting to know all the details but not sure if Ranko would tell her anything, especially with Kiyoshi still there.

"Mmm, it was ok. The unadon was good." Ranko murmured, looking distracted.

They fell into an awkward silence; she wanted to ask Ranko more but Kiyoshi was still standing there looking all expressionless and Ranko kept looking at her expectantly.

Mr. Panda finally solved the situation by grabbing Kiyoshi and trying to shove him towards the front door. Kiyoshi proved to be pretty much unmovable, but he did suddenly smile at Ranko and say:

"Night. See you tomorrow." Before giving Mr. Panda a superior look and sauntering out of the door.

"Night, Kiyoshi." Ranko replied with a small smile, before starting up the stairs to bed.

"Good night Auntie Saotome." Ranko called down as she disappeared.

It was a pity… she'd wanted to ask Ranko more about her date. Oh well, there was always tomorrow.

"Good night Mr. Panda" she said as she made her way upstairs as well.

Mr. Panda had a very funny look on his face…

000

(_Ranma's POV – female_)

The unadon _had_ been good. So had the ice-cream. And the hot chocolate that he'd gotten when Kiyoshi got his coffee.

He was feeling full and content.

It had been surprisingly nice.

Kiyoshi was alright. He wasn't demanding, or annoying, or overly talkative. He seemed sort of… understanding.

They could hang out together without either of them having to speak constantly.

He liked that.

When they'd been eating they'd talked a little about Nerima, and how Kiyoshi was finding it, as well as Kiyoshi's life before he moved.

Kiyoshi had told him a little about the friends he'd left behind as well as his ex-girlfriends… the last one sounded entirely too much like Shampoo to Ranma…

It had been… odd.

Their conversation hadn't really come easily, but it didn't feel _bad_ talking to Kiyoshi.

He didn't like the sound of the girls Kiyoshi had gone out with though, he thought that Kiyoshi deserved better. He hoped that Kiyoshi met a nice girl one day.

He sort of wanted Kiyoshi to be happy.

Weird.

But then Kiyoshi had been pretty nice to him from the beginning.

He was a little worried, though. Because he's seen a fair few people from Furinkan High while they'd been out. Mainly boys out with their girlfriends. And he knew that some of them had seen him and Kiyoshi…

He hoped that it wouldn't add fuel to the fire of their stupidity.

It hadn't been a date.

Both he and Kiyoshi knew that… so maybe, just _maybe_, it didn't matter what a whole bunch of idiots thought.

Maybe.

Their waitress had also been from their school. She was an older girl, in the same year as Kiyoshi but he didn't think she was in the same class as him and Nabiki.

…

He hoped she wasn't the sort who gossiped.

He didn't think she was.

Whenever he'd seen her with her friends _they_ always seemed to be the talking.

Maybe he should ask Nabiki about her.

Anyway.

His mother had been kind of weird when he'd gotten home…

He wondered what she'd been thinking.

000

(_Genma's POV_)

ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Evil, evil Kurosawas.

What was Ranma _thinking_?

That Kiyoshi had better not done anything to his son.

There was a piece of cake in the fridge with his name on it.

He needed something to ease the shock.

000


	18. You Can Run…

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 18: You Can Run…

Rating: Teenishesqueishesque.

Disclaimer: Not mine, I shout, I scream, I holler.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma.

Pairings of Maybeness: Ryu/Kasumi (weird I am), Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

This is a little longer than usual… I only have tomorrow to write before I have to start studying so I'm doing my best to get what is stuck in my head out on time.

_**Things That Might Make You Want to Jump Ship:**_

I don't like Shampoo, so she's not going to come off that well here. Shampoo's always come off way too narcissistic for my tastes. If you like Shampoo you may want to jump ship now.

Ryouga. I don't always like him either, so he's gonna have a few bad things happen. Bwa Ha Ha Ha.

Akane/Mousse. Well, Akane's going to be wearing the trousers in that relationship… so if you have a problem with that…

The story will be neither shounen ai nor het. I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his _entire_ self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate.

_**  
**_Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Yes I know that what Aiko is planning to do is pretty much as bad as what Ranma's other fiancées do. See above.

_**THANK YOU FOR READING. THANK YOU IF YOU REVIEW, OR HAVE REVIEWED. JUST THANK YOU.**_

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

…

It was first thing in the morning, he was still a little tired, and Xian Pu was insane.

What was she _thinking_?

Was she _insane_?

She wanted to dress him up like some sort of vaguely _pornographic_ French maid.

At least the… _outfit_… didn't involve a skirt… that should make him happy, right?

Well, maybe not, he probably would have preferred a skirt if it didn't involve stockings.

_Lacy_ stockings.

Evil, lacy stockings.

She'd even picked out his underwear this time.

His _underwear_.

More lace.

He was going to die. He was going to die, and the cause of death would be humiliation.

He didn't even know if it was possible to die of humiliation, but he was going to do it anyway.

What could he do?

He could run away, he supposed… she'd track him down though… and it wasn't like he had anything to wear. He'd rather not go outside naked, if at all possible.

She'd sent him off to have a bath; which he'd been grateful for as she'd hogged the bathroom all the night before and he'd deeply wanted to bathe. He'd wanted to wash off the… _residue_… of all those perverts.

So he'd happily wandered off to the bathroom, taking the bathrobe that she'd handed him… but when he returned to his room after the bath he'd found that even his new, horrible clothes were missing and all there was was a little pile of black satin and white lace on his futon…

So unless he wanted to go outside naked he'd have to get dressed in what she'd left.

…

…

Hesitantly he picked up the underwear she'd left, grimacing at the delicate, white, lacy cloth. All the… the others hadn't had any lace, they'd just been cloth.

As he stepped into the panties and began to pull them up it felt like more and more of the last of his pride was dying with every centimetre they rose.

When they were finally settled on his hips and he was shaking like a leaf he turned to the rest of what she'd laid out.

The top… blouse… wasn't so bad.

It was cute.

Not that he was enjoying wearing women's clothing, but it wouldn't be so bad if paired with something _else_.

It was made out of soft gauzy cotton, with an embroidered square-neckline, and short, puffy sleeves... It was the sort of thing that would look really good on Xian Pu.

It was the other… _thing_ and the stockings that made him really queasy.

He remembered seeing a black thing with white ruffles go into the basket when Xian Pu had taken him on that infernal shopping trip… if he'd known what it was he would have done something… _anything_… to make sure she didn't buy it.

It was made out of black satin polyester, trimmed on the seams and edges with cheap, white lace.

He wasn't sure what it was.

The bottom half was a fairly normal pair of extremely-short shorts… but the top would extend up above the waistline to about the bottom of his pectoral muscles…

To make it even less appealing the waist of the thing seemed to have some sort of _something_ sewed into the seams like a corset.

…

He managed to get the stupid thing on; but in order to do it he found that he had to breathe out and suck in all his stomach muscles, which meant that when it was done up he couldn't breathe properly…

It was very uncomfortable.

The thing was… with the _whatever_ constricting his waist and the blouse sort of sticking out of the top of it… he looked like a girl.

Whatwas she _thinking_?

Even if Saotome _was_ gay… and that was a big if… then his type seemed to be the exact opposite of whatever it was that Xian Pu was trying to turn him into.

That… _man_ that had shown up and started all this idiocy was hardly a delicate, feminine flower.

Large, scary, and overtly masculine– yes. Delicate flower– no.

He supposed it was time for the stockings.

Strangely he found that he couldn't move. No matter how many times he told himself to stop being a coward and finish getting dressed his body just wouldn't obey…

He found himself still standing there, hand clasped over the bangle, and shaking when Xian Pu turned up…

"_**What are you doing? You aren't dressed! We don't have time for this stupid Mu Tsu.**_" She snarled, grabbing the stockings and shoving them at him.

"_**Xian Pu, please… don't make me…**_" he started to say, but she just bowled over him.

"_**Don't just stand there stupid. Put them on. We are very lucky you aren't manly enough to have body hair, it has made my plan work so much easier.**_" He wasn't putting on the stockings, and it wasn't like Ranma was any hairier than he was.

"_**Argh! Mu Tsu! PUT THEM ON. I found a bottle of some sort of perfume that makes the wearer incredibly attractive to members of the same sex in the attic, but I don't remember where I left it. It won't be long searching for it, and you better be fully dressed by the time I get back!**_" she snapped, storming out of the room,

No.

Just… _NO_.

He'd had it.

He wasn't doing this.

There was no way he was letting her spray him with something that would attract even more perverts.

He'd had enough. He may not have much pride but still…

He grabbed the black, patent-leather Mary-Jane shoes and quickly put them on.

Rushing to the door he opened it a crack and peered out… he couldn't see Xian Pu.

Good.

His tiny bedroom was on the same floor as the Café (unlike Xian Pu's and Ku Lon's that were on the second floor), and used to be a little storage room, so it had no windows… He would have to escape either out the back door or through the main part of the Café.

Going the Café would probably be too dangerous so he would have to go out the back way.

He left the stockings on the futon and carefully crept out of his room. He made his way quietly along the corridor, heading to the kitchen.

He could hear her thumping around upstairs… but he didn't know how long he'd have.

Not seeing either Xian Pu or Ku Lon in the kitchen he made a run for it; he ran through the kitchen, out the back door, through Ku Lon's little herb garden, he jumped over the fence (he didn't have a key for the gate), and ran through the alley that the delivery people used to supply the Cat Café.

He kept running.

He kept running until he could no longer feel Xian Pu's presence lurking behind him.

He kept running, until he realised that he didn't know where he was running to.

Then he stopped.

What had he done?

But he couldn't go back there, not now, not with her acting like that.

Where would he go?

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

Ahh… Saturday. The weekend. Finally a change to get out of the Furikan High uniform.

Since he was going to be sparring with Ranma at some point in the day he'd chosen to wear a pair of very soft, old jeans as well as a faded, grey T-shirt.

It was looking like another lovely day.

He was headed to the Tendou Dojou by himself for once; he had no idea where Ryu had chosen to spend the night…

Speaking of nights…

He'd had a good time with Ranma. In fact he'd had a better time just getting something to eat with his fiancée than he'd ever had on a date with one of his girlfriends.

There had been none of that unnecessary chatter…

Ranma hadn't felt the need to inform him of the personal lives of every person he knew.

Ranma also hadn't spent half the time nagging him and insisting that he didn't love him and wasn't paying attention to what he was saying…

That was mainly because he was actually interested in what Ranma was talking about.

It had been nice.

Not that they'd talked much… just a little every now and then. That had been good as well.

He didn't like being forced to talk all the time, or being forced to listen while someone else talked all the time.

Maybe he could find another girl like Ranma.

Not likely… but still.

Sighing he remembered that Ranma wasn't just his ideal personality type… he was also Kiyoshi's ideal physical type.

All the other girls he'd ever sort of liked had been one or the other… it was hard to find a girl that was both.

Ranma really was his ideal…

He was almost at the Tendou Dojou when he noticed a familiar form standing up ahead looking confused…

It was the duck-boy. Mousse.

It looked like that _girl_ that kept bossing him around had had her claws into him again from what he was wearing.

Poor boy.

As he got closer he noticed that Mousse was shaking heavily and had his arms wrapped around his middle as if he was in pain. The boy's mind seemed to be elsewhere, because he didn't seem to notice anything that was happening around him.

Kiyoshi found himself somewhat concerned.

When he reached the boy he stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do…

Mousse didn't seem to see him standing there.

"Hey. You alright?" he asked.

His words seemed to drag the boy out of his fugue because he startled and softly exclaimed: "Wha…? Oh! It's _you_." while slowly inching away from him.

What did the boy think Kiyoshi was going to do? He may not be all that friendly but it wasn't like he was going to drag Mousse into the bushes and slowly murder him.

"… You alright?" he tried asking again.

"What? Um…" was Mousse's reply.

Kiyoshi was getting sick of this. Coddling freaked-out cross-dressing boys who turn into ducks was not one of his strong points.

With a brief beseeching look at the heavens he reached out and grabbed Mousse by the arm and started to drag him towards to Tendou Dojou.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? If Xian Pu hadn't hidden my weapons…" the boy shrieked, trying to pull his arm out of Kiyoshi's grip.

"Shut up. I'm taking you to the Tendou Dojou, whatever's wrong Akane can fix it." He stated, ignoring any further protest.

It didn't take long for Mousse to calm down and walk beside him meekly so Kiyoshi let him go.

They were less than a street away from their destination when one of those irritating things that happened when you were walking next to someone with a Jusenkyo curse occurred…

_Splash_

He was now soaked to the bone with freezing cold water.

The young man who was washing his car out on the street gave him an apologetic look and turned the hose off.

Damn it.

"Sorry… that happens sometimes." Mousse guiltily whispered. Mousse who was completely dry. It seemed his greater bulk had shielded the boy from the water.

"'S alright. I know what its like." He replied, trying to sound reassuring. He did know what it was like, only Ryu tended to attract hot water for some weird reason.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Only it wasn't a comfortable silence like the ones he shared with Ranma. Mousse was upset and he was now freezing… it may look like it would be a nice day, but it was still early and he was now unpleasantly damp.

They ran into Ranma's mother just outside of the Tendou Dojou…

"Oh! Kiyoshi! Good morning. I have to run back to my house for a couple of hours… the builders need my opinion on a few things and I thought I might grab some of my cooking books. I'm going to teach the girls how to make some cakes later today so… Who's your friend?" She said, the last part with a suspicious glance at Mousse.

"Friend of Akane's" he replied.

"Oh!... for a minute I thought… how silly of me." She said which was somewhat confusing. She'd thought what?

"Ok, I'll see you later. Say good morning to Ranko for me when she wakes up." She said, walking off.

"Ranko?" asked Mousse.

"Ask Akane." He replied. He didn't feel it was his place to explain the complicated family relationships going on in the Tendou household.

They walked into the Tendou compound and knocked on the front door. Within seconds it was opened and Kasumi was staring at them in surprise.

"Kiyoshi! What happened to you?" she asked, having noticed that he was dripping on her doorstep.

"Curse related accident" he replied, nodding towards Mousse.

"Oh… who is… Mousse! Is that you? What are you _wearing_?" she exclaimed, which made the duck-boy go bright red and mumble something unintelligible.

"You better come in. I've run a bath, just in case… _you know_… so Kiyoshi you might want to go and get warm. You can put your clothes in the dryer; they should be done by the time you get out. Mousse… well… how about you come in and watch the television with Nabiki. Neither Akane, Ranma, or father are up yet, and Auntie Saotome has gone out… so breakfast will be a little while longer; I hope I have enough for everyone… Ryu isn't with you today?" The eldest Tendou sister said, frowning at them with concern.

"I don't know where Ryu is, he should turn up at some time though." He replied to her question. A bath sounded nice… he was cold.

She nodded her head and stepped out of the doorway. As Mousse proceeded him into the house he noticed that the boy was limping a little, the reason why became obvious when Mousse removed his shiny black shoes. The boy's feet were a mess… covered in blisters and scrapes…

Obviously his shoes weren't designed to be actually _worn_.

He noticed that Kasumi had noticed as well and felt he could trust Mousse's wellbeing to her. Kasumi was very a very kind-hearted person. So he made his way to the bathroom.

He was looking forward to some hot water.

000

(_Shampoo's POV_)

Mu Tsu had run away.

It wasn't fair.

She'd almost caught up to him when that wretched tall-boy had found him.

It didn't matter though… he was headed to the Tendou Dojou, which was just fine with her.

She had been going to drag him there anyway… so all she needed to do was corner him, spray him with the perfume, and give him to her husband.

The rest would work itself out.

She had decided to go with a more _adult_ look for him today… cute obviously wasn't working, and she knew that boys liked the French maid look.

_Splash_.

Iiiiiiiyyyyyyyaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

Some stupid boy had splashed her with cold water.

She hissed at him before grabbing her clothes in her mouth and running into the Tendou Dojou.

She left her clothes under a bush and decided that before she dealt with Mu Tsu she might as well go see her husband. She carefully climbed up the side of the house, using her claws and the drain pipe to get herself outside his room.

Looking in she saw that he was still asleep…

Good.

000

(_Ranma's POV- female form at start_)

_He was in a long room… it was dark, but beams of weak daylight were highlighting the floor at irregular intervals. _

_Looking up he couldn't find the source of the light, the room seemed to stretch eternally upwards with no ceiling in sight._

_He was walking down the middle of the room, heading towards the far end where Kiyoshi wa son a dais kneeling at a low table that seemed to glitter strangely. For some strange reason Kiyoshi was dressed like an Emperor from the Heian period._

_He looked around the room and found that everyone he knew was in the room. They were all dressed like old fashioned courtiers and were respectfully kneeling on the floor facing Kiyoshi._

_It felt sort of like he was in a royal court, with everyone he knew as courtiers and Kiyoshi as the Emperor._

_What did that make him?_

_Looking down he saw that he was dressed like the Empress. He was wearing layer upon layer of heavy silk, but he felt light as a feather. He was also flickering._

_Frowning for a minute he realised that he was shifting from his male form to his female form and back again almost faster than the eye could see._

_Strange…_

_He wasn't worried though… for some reason it seemed natural that way._

_As he walked towards Kiyoshi he noticed that there was food laid out on the table, both in front of Kiyoshi and on the opposite side… which was just waiting for someone to sit down_

_Before approaching the dais he looked around and noticed that his mother and father as well as Akane and Mousse were in the front row of Courtiers._

_To his left his mother and father knelt… but for some strange reason his father was still in panda form even as he sat there in those exquisite clothes._

_To his right were Akane and Mousse… but Akane was dressed like a nobleman and Mousse like a noblewoman._

_He shrugged and ascended the dais, approaching the table._

_As he got closer he found the food was unadon in beautifully laquered bowls._

_He also got a closer look at the table. It was inlayed with beautiful patterns in mother-of-pearl… the main design being a large image of a Dragon and a Phoenix right in the centre._

_He carefully eased himself into a kneeling position opposite from Kiyoshi… who gave him one of those gentle smiles, and reached for his chopsticks._

_He was just about to pick up a piece of the unadon when a sharp prickly pain in his chest forced him to look down…_

_And then he woke up_.

C – C – C – C – C – C – C – C – A – T.

Cat.

CAT.

**CAT.**

**CAT.**

_**CAT!!!!!!!**_

Cat on his chest.

Oh Gods.

Cat.

He started to, cat, scramble to get up.

Cat.

He managed to find his feet, cat, but the, cat, CAT, was clinging to him, cat, with its, cat, claws.

Cat.

He could, cat, vaguely, cat, hear that he was, cat, screaming, cat, but it seemed to, cat, come from a long, cat, way away.

Cat.

It was, cat, Shampoo, he knew, cat, that if he, cat, could, cat, just get some, cat, hot water it, cat, would be ok.

Cat.

He, cat, began to run, cat. He knew that, cat, Kasumi, cat, always ran the, cat, bath first things these, cat, days.

Cat.

Cat.

He made it, cat, cat, in, cat, record time, and not even, cat, bothering to, cat, take off his, cat, pyjamas, he ran into the, cat, bathroom and jumped, cat, straight for the, cat, bath.

He vaguely, cat, noticed Kiyoshi staring at, cat, them in surprise, cat, but what he was, cat, seeing, cat, didn't really register.

Cat.

He felt himself shift back into male form for the first time in days.

No cat.

Naked Shampoo.

Clinging naked Shampoo.

He wanted away from her.

He managed to disentangle himself from her and didn't want her getting another grip on him.

Frantically he searched for something to put between them.

That something turned out to be Kiyoshi.

Almost instinctively he climbed over and behind Kiyoshi; using the naked boy as a shield between himself and Shampoo.

Shampoo climbed onto Kiyoshi and was trying to grab him, pressing her naked flesh against Ranma's fiancé.

Kiyoshi didn't look impressed.

Kiyoshi started to push Shampoo away from them, but it wasn't working.

Ranma felt Kiyoshi start to shift and instinctively grabbed Kiyoshi's shoulders and wrapped his legs around Kiyoshi's waist as the tall boy stood up.

Shampoo somehow kept her grip on Kiyoshi and was now hanging onto him with her feet off the ground.

It was that minute that Ryu walked in.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

_She was so beautiful. _

_Laughing and smiling at him as she dragged him further into the woods. They were going on a picnic and the basket banged against his legs as she pulled him._

_He smiled at her, watching her red hair flutter in the breeze._

_So beautiful._

_Suddenly she stopped, turning around and throwing herself at him. He caught her easily and she gave him a cheeky smile before reaching up and pulling his face down to hers. Just before he closed his own eyes he saw her luminous, blue-black ones flutter shut._

_He was kissing her and she tasted like strawberries. It was divine. She was divine._

_So beautiful._

_Ranma._

_There was a sudden sharp pain in his lip and he realised that she'd bitten him. His eyes snapped open and he pushed her away._

_She looked strange… like her face was made of something malleable…_

_The familiar features of his brother's fiancée started to shift, move, change._

_Her eyes narrowed, her nose became thinner, her lips became wider…_

_Her eyes changed colour – becoming pure black, and darkness bled into her hair._

_Kana._

_She was Kana._

_That was why…_

_He understood it now._

_Poor, pathetic, fool he was. He still couldn't forget her._

_Why was there a toe in his nostril?_

He snorted awake, feeling a weird pressure on his face.

There was a delicate foot pressed up against his cheek with the big toe trying to weasel its way back into his left nostril…

What?

He rolled away from the intrusive foot and looked around.

Where was he?

He looked down at the bed and found it was occupied by two women.

It looked like he'd gotten lucky.

Very lucky.

They were cute.

Annoying foot habits aside.

But now it was time to go.

He carefully eased himself out of the bed, careful not to wake them. The one whose toe he had been inadvertently snorting rolled towards the other one mumbling something about a person called 'Ken' before settling back down.

He quickly grabbed his clothes off the floor and got dressed… he'd have a bath at the Tendou Dojou; he didn't want to hang around.

He crept out of the apartment and headed towards the Tendou Dojou.

Ah… it was looking like another lovely day.

The weather since they'd moved to Nerima had been nice. He bet he'd find Kiyoshi snoozing somewhere in the sun later in the day.

The walk to the Tendou Dojou was uneventful and gave him time to reflect on his dream.

Now that he thought about it Ranma really did remind him of Kana.

He was an idiot.

Oh well…

When he got to the Dojou he found the door unlocked so he just made his way inside.

He stuck his head into the dining room and found Nabiki and some weird… _girl?_ watching the television and Genma panda playing shougi with himself.

Shrugging and wondering where everyone else was he walked to the kitchen and found Kasumi preparing breakfast.

"Hey." He called out softly.

"Oh! Ryu! Good morning. Kiyoshi's already here, he ran into a little cold water on the way so he's in the bath." She called out sweetly.

Why couldn't he be attracted to the nice girls? A girl like Kasumi would never call him a pervert and spit at him in public.

Not like Kana.

"Mmmm… mind if I take a bath as well? I didn't get a chance to this morning and _you know_…" he said, feeling uncomfortable with saying that he wanted to wash the stink of sex off of himself.

"Sure… I guess." She said, frowning.

She was probably thinking about the fact that he turned female in hot water, and Kiyoshi was still in the bath. Kiyoshi was used to him though. It wasn't like he ever felt female, even when he _was_ female.

He waved at her before heading towards the bathroom.

He heard a little commotion from the bathroom but payed it no mind as he got undressed in the antechamber. He stretched, rolled his shoulders and opened the sliding door.

…

Well…

Ok…

There was Kiyoshi standing in the middle of the bath in all his naked glory with Ranma in male form, wearing pyjamas and wrapped around him from behind as well as a pretty (vaguely familiar) naked girl clinging to his front.

…

"Having fun brother dear?" he smirked, and was rewarded with one of Kiyoshi's worse glares.

"Get her off me." His brother snapped, trying to pry off the girl.

"Are you sure? Because most young men…" He chortled, watching as his brother looked like he would explode.

"Let go of him Shampoo." Snapped Ranma from his perch on Ryu's brother.

Shampoo?

"Is no fair. Xian Pu no happy!" the girl sulked, but let go of Kiyoshi and flounced, totally naked, across the room towards Ryu.

"Out of Xian Pu's way, stupid pervert man." The girl snapped, glaring at him.

He stepped aside and smirked at her as she walked out of the room with absolute dignity.

He gave Kiyoshi an amused look before shutting the door and walking towards the bath.

"You intend to stay like that forever?" he asked as he sat down and doused himself with cold water.

"Ryu... why do I bother?" Kiyoshi sighed, climbing out of the tub with Ranma still attached.

"See ya." He called out as Kiyoshi walked out of the room.

He grabbed the soap and began to lather it as he burst into laughter.

That had been pretty damn funny.

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

Television was strange.

He'd never had a chance to watch it before and found he didn't understand it.

Whatever it was that Nabiki was watching seemed ridiculously melodramatic.

Why would the pretty girl with the perm care that her boyfriend was actually her cousin's ex-boyfriend's twin brother?

Weird.

He felt a bit better now.

Even if the tall boy who had dragged him here was kind of scary, it was nice being inside of the Tendou Dojou. The eldest sister, Kasumi, had even given him bandages so he could deal with the mess those horrible shoes had made of his feet.

He still felt out of place though.

He didn't know Nabiki very well.

He was dragged out of his musings when Xian Pu suddenly appeared in the back garden. She was adjusting her clothing and looking murderous, but when she saw him she gave him a somewhat unsettling smile.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a little bottle of something.

The perfume.

She had brought the perfume.

"Ahh… Mu Tsu. Xian Pu find you. You stay still now. Xian Pu make you irresistible." She purred, stalking towards him.

He started moving backwards. To be honest he was _frightened_, he didn't want her doing this to him.

"Stupid Mu Tsu. Why you no do what Xian Pu say?" she snarled moving faster.

"No. No Xian Pu. _Please_!" he… whimpered, backing further away.

Over her shoulder he could see Akane enter the room and frown when she saw what was happening.

"Stay Still. Stupid Duck-Boy." Xian Pu snapped, reaching out and grabbing him by the hair.

He heard himself make a small whimpering noise as he watched her open the perfume.

He heard a faint noise and looked up to see Akane picking up the table before moving towards them.

What was she doing?

She couldn't be going to…

Should he warn Xian Pu?

Strangely he found that his mouth wouldn't work as Akane crept up behind Xian Pu and brought the table down over her head with a solid _thump_.

She released his hair and dropped the perfume before she could get any on him.

…

Hitting her over the head with a table shouldn't have been enough to knock Xian Pu unconscious, but she was out cold.

Akane had knocked her out.

Akane had defeated Xian Pu.

It was ridiculous, but it had happened…

And that meant…

She'd given him the bangle… he'd accepted.

She'd verbally challenged the heir of his guardian.

And then she'd defeated said heir in combat… it didn't matter that it was a sneak attack, once the verbal challenge had been issued any attack counted.

This had all happened in the customary three days.

_She'd stolen him_.

That was the old Amazon way of putting it.

It was an old custom… but one that was still honoured.

"Are you okay Mousse?" she asked.

Shakily he looked up into her eyes…

The eyes of the woman who now owned him.

000


	19. The Care and Keeping of the Male Amazon

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 19: The Care and Keeping of the Male Amazon.

Rating: Teenish… yeah.

Disclaimer: This is me disclaiming. Watch me disclaim.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma.

Pairings of Maybeness: Ryu/Kasumi (weird I am), Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

Gahh… I am dead. This is almost 6,000 words long. _I wrote this all in one day. _I kid you not.

I will try and update 1-2 times a week from now on. I will be forced to study. Studying is… _unpleasant_. I would much rather write… but, oh well.

You may find bits of this boring. If so I am sorry. It's all a bit Amazon custom obsessed.

_**Things That Might Make You Want to Jump Ship:**_

I don't like Shampoo, so she's not going to come off that well here. Shampoo's always come off way too narcissistic for my tastes. If you like Shampoo you may want to jump ship now.

Ryouga. I don't always like him either, so he's gonna have a few bad things happen. Bwa Ha Ha Ha.

Akane/Mousse. Well, Akane's going to be wearing the trousers in that relationship… so if you have a problem with that…

The story will be neither shounen ai nor het. I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his _entire_ self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate.

_**  
**_Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Yes I know that what Aiko is planning to do is pretty much as bad as what Ranma's other fiancées do. See above.

_**THANK YOU FOR READING. THANK YOU IF YOU REVIEW, OR HAVE REVIEWED. JUST THANK YOU.**_

000

(_Akane's POV_)

She'd woken up when she heard Ranma screaming.

_Cat_.

That probably meant that Shampoo was somewhere in the house.

She didn't like Shampoo.

It also meant that Ranma had come home sometime the night before…

Good.

She could ask him what happened with Ryouga.

She contemplated staying in bed for a while longer… It wasn't like it mattered to her anymore what Ranma did with his other fiancées…

No. That was unkind.

She knew he didn't like Shampoo either.

Sighing and having a good stretch, she heaved herself out of bed.

She'd had a bath sometime the night before… and it sounded as though the bath would be in use for a while if Shampoo was around… so she decided to just get dressed.

Looking in her wardrobe she sighed… She suspected that anything remotely cute that wasn't in her dirty-clothes basket was lurking somewhere in Nabiki's wardrobe... it looked like she needed to put the washing out for Kasumi again…

Looking at the dismal collection of clothes that were clean she sighed again.

What could she do?

Shaking her head she grabbed an old pair of jeans she hadn't worn in a while, because the last time she did Nabiki had told her they made her look like a boy, and a pale-aqua t-shirt.

She got dressed with her mind elsewhere and quickly ran her hairbrush through her hair. Deciding that she couldn't be bothered with trying to make herself look any prettier she wandered out of her room.

She made her way down the corridor, down the stairs and to the kitchen. She ducked her head inside to see her eldest sister busy making breakfast.

"Good morning Kasumi." She called, smiling at her sister when she turned around.

"Good morning Akane… you look… more like yourself than you have in a while." Kasumi replied, with a strange half smile.

More like herself?

What?

"What do you mean Kasumi?" she asked, frowning.

"Oh nothing… Oh! Kiyoshi turned up with Mousse this morning. He was wearing the strangest thing… very strange… and his feet were all cut up. I left him in the dining room with Nabiki. Do you think that was ok?" her sister asked with a concerned frown.

Mousse?

In the dining room?

Why was he here?…

And his feet?

"I'm sure its fine… how about I go and check on him?" She said, already moving out of the doorway.

"That would be good. Thanks Akane." Kasumi said as she turned her attention back to breakfast.

Akane hurried to the dining room, she hoped Mousse was ok. It sounded like Shampoo had been tormenting him again.

She opened the door and froze at the tableau.

Nabiki was ignoring the television and was instead smirking at what was happening in the room.

Mr. Saotome, in panda form, was sitting frozen holding a shougi piece halfway to the board staring at Shampoo and Mousse.

Shampoo had Mousse backed into the corner and was trying to so _something_ to him…

He was whimpering.

She was _hurting_ him.

Akane felt her mind go white… This was hardly an irregular occurrence for her; she knew she had a bad temper.

Feeling strangely calm she walked into the room and headed straight for the dining room table. She reached down and picked it up as easily as if it weighed a feather.

As she walked over to Shampoo she noticed that Nabiki was desperately trying to contain her laughter and Mr. Saotome was looking at her with a thoughtful frown.

Doing some quick calculations in her head she worked out the best way to thwack Shampoo without accidentally getting Mousse and casually brought the table down over the cat-girl's head with all her strength.

…

It worked surprisingly well.

Shampoo was well and truly knocked out.

…

Did that mean she was getting the 'kiss of death'?

…

"Are you okay Mousse?" she asked, looking down at the frightened boy.

He didn't reply.

He just stared at her for a minute before folding himself into a submissive bow at her feet.

What?

She was just about to kneel down and see if he was okay when Ranma and Kiyoshi stuck their heads in the door.

The red-head looked around in shock; obviously taken aback at the unconscious Amazon.

"What the…? What happened? Is that _Shampoo_?" her ex-fiancé (even if he didn't know it yet) asked.

"She was hurting him." She declared, giving him a helpless look.

Both her ex-fiancé and his fiancé walked into the room and she noted that Ranma had actually gotten dressed himself this morning.

He was wearing white denim shorts and a little, eggshell-blue t-shirt.

He must be getting used to being forced to stay in female form all the time.

Ranma went over to Shampoo and started to poke at her to check if she was really out cold.

"Is he alright?" Kiyoshi asked, pointing at Mousse and startling her. She didn't think he'd ever said anything to her.

"I don't know… I don't know what's wrong. Maybe she did something to him before I knocked her out… she had something in her hand." She said, looking around desperately for whatever it had been.

"You mean this?" Ranma said; handing her a tiny, cold, glass bottle.

"Yeah…" she muttered as she examined the bottle.

It was a little spray bottle, made out of what looked like hand-blown glass…

It had some sort of worrying, faintly purple, liquid in it, that moved with a disconcerting sluggishness and seemed to cling to the glass as she turned the bottle back and forth…

The top of it had some sort of screw-thread that had obviously once securely held a protective cap.

A protective cap that Shampoo had succeeded in taking off, but it didn't look like any of the liquid had escaped the bottle…

Whatever it was she didn't want Shampoo getting it back. It looked like one of her dangerous potions or something.

She looked around on the floor and found the protective cap lying almost under Mousse's leg.

She squatted down and carefully removed it, flinching when he flinched at her touch, and carefully screwed it back on the bottle.

The liquid inside looked entirely too dangerous.

Looking around she carefully put the bottle on the television cabinet… she'd do something about it later.

She walked back over to Mousse, only to find Ranma and Kiyoshi standing a little way away and looking at him in concern.

She knelt down and was about to put her hand on his shoulder when Kasumi appeared in the doorway with her hands full of food.

"What… what happened? Why is the table on Shampoo? Akane… did you do this?" her eldest sister asked, looking at the _table_ with concern.

"She was _hurting Mousse_." She replied, feeling it was a perfectly good reason to hit someone over the head with a table.

"Oh dear… I hope it's not damaged… after the last time you broke it I paid the repairman extra to have it steel reinforced..." Her sister murmured.

"Here, take this." Kasumi said; shoving the food at Ryu, who had appeared behind her and was peering over her shoulder.

"Wha…?" Ryu spluttered, somehow managing to grab all the dishes before they fell.

Akane watched in shock as her sister walked into the room and carefully lifted the table of Shampoo… The table gave her a little more trouble than it had given Akane but not as much trouble as you'd expect it to.

Kasumi carefully moved the table back to its original position and started to carefully examine it for damage…

"Ah… good. A little blood, but that's all… Tables aren't cheap you know... I'll go and get a cloth." She said, before getting up and walking towards the door.

Ryu looked at her a little stupidly before moving out of the way.

"So… did I miss anything?" Ryu asked, staring down at the still unconscious Amazon.

The unconscious Amazon that made a little noise and began to move.

Crap.

Akane fell into a defensive position… she was probably going to have to fight for her life.

Shampoo levered herself up and shook her head like a dog trying to shake off water.

"What happen?…" the Amazon girl muttered as she raised her head.

When she caught sight of Akane her eyes narrowed.

"You! You do this. Xian Pu see you just before… You dare…" the girl snarled, quickly standing and falling into and offensive stance.

"Uncute-girl ruin _everything_.… Xian Pu kill!" she hissed, preparing to strike.

Akane unconsciously stepped backwards, before gathering herself and getting ready to fight.

"No! No Xian Pu! You know the rules!" Mousse cried out, erupting from his bow and staggering towards Shampoo.

"Xian Pu no care! Rules stupid!" the girl yelled, glaring at Mousse as though he was less than a bug as he reached out and grabbed her shoulders.

Mousse replied in Chinese, which Akane didn't understand, and shook his wrist with the bangle in her face.

She shrieked something back at him in Chinese and tried to push him aside.

He stood his ground and kept talking to her… Akane heard Cologne's name a couple of times… still shaking the bangle.

She shrieked something else, but her attention was firmly on him now.

He averted his eyes from her and said something in a quiet, desolate tone.

She snarled something at him that sounded very rude before giving Akane a savage death-glare.

Mousse whispered something else, before letting her go, and looking at the ground.

She snapped something else at him in Chinese before shouting:

"STUPID!"

And slapping him viciously across the face.

He staggered backwards before sinking to the floor holding his cheek.

Shampoo looked down at Mousse with contempt and said:

"You no welcome at Cate Café. No come back."

Before turning to Akane with a completely vicious look and snarling with absolute sarcasm:

"Xian Pu hope you have long and happy marriage."

And storming out of the room.

M

M – M

M – M – M

M – M – M – M

"M – M – M –M – M – MARRIAGE!"

Oh crap. That last one wasn't in her thoughts… it was her father.

"M – M – M – MARRIIIIII… Oh… I give up. I'll be in my bed. Don't disturb me until people stop getting engaged to _multiple people_." He sighed in defeat, walking away before he'd even entered the room.

"Well… so stuff like this _does_ happen to other people." Ranma piped in, looking startled.

"Argh! What just happened? Mousse?" she implored, turning to her… um… was he her _fiancé _now?

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, _sorry_… it's… sorry… it's all my… _sorry_." He whimpered, his shoulders shaking.

Was he crying?

She knelt by his side, but he wouldn't look at her… she grabbed his shoulders and turned him to face her.

He _was_ crying.

He looked… dead inside.

"Mousse… what's going on?" she gently asked.

"You… Um… there's this A – Amazon custom… and… and… _sorry_… I – I – I belong to… um… _you_ now. S-sorry." He whispered, trying to stifle his sobs.

What?

He did _what_ now?

He _belonged_ to her?

Amazons were… very, very strange.

"It's ok. Please stop crying. We'll sort it out. I _promise_." She whispered to him, trying to look encouraging.

"It can't be _sorted out_. Because I'm so _stupid_ and I accepted this bangle… there's nothing that can be done. _Nothing_. I'm _sorry_." He wailed, shaking like a leaf.

"It's ok. It's not your fault. I have _no idea_ what's going on… but it's not your fault. _I_ bought you that bangle." She said, trying to make him see reason.

He didn't reply. He just remained there in a pathetic pile on the floor.

She felt unbearably guilty.

She just wished she knew what she was guilty of.

"Um… we can have breakfast now." Said Kasumi, who had just finished cleaning Shampoo's blood off the table.

Akane looked up and found various members of the household milling around looking uncomfortable.

Ranma, surprisingly, gave her an encouraging smile.

"Come on Mousse… let's get you cleaned up. Then we can have some breakfast." She whispered to him, taking his arm and gently encouraging him to move.

He shifted a little, preparing to stand up, but gave out a sharp hiss and curled around his side.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" she asked, remembering that Shampoo had struck him quite hard.

"It's… it's these _stupid_ clothes." He whispered, not looking at her.

Stupid clothes?

She took a good look at him and realised what he was wearing.

In no way did that outfit look comfortable.

She looked up at everyone again, wordlessly asking if they had anything she could borrow for Mousse.

"All my old clothes have disappeared… sorry." Said Ranma.

"**Mine are all dirty**" Mr. Saotome wrote.

"Er… we don't live here." Said Ryu indicating himself and Kiyoshi, and pointing out the bloody obvious.

She wasn't going to bother her father… so that meant the girls.

"I'm _not_ lending him anything." Muttered Nabiki.

"I don't think I have anything that would be appropriate." Said her oldest sister, looking apologetic.

Oh well.

That just left her wardrobe…

She probably had something comfortable that would fit him.

"C'mon Mousse. Let's get you into some different clothes."

000

(_Shampoo's POV_)

Stupid!

Stupid!

It was all so stupid!

And now her great-grandmother was yelling at her.

It wasn't her fault.

Mu Tsu was responsible…

If he hadn't accepted that stupid bangle…

Well…

Then she would have been allowed three attempts at beating up Akane to steal him back…

But he had…

Stupid rules.

It was supposed to protect a male from being stolen by someone he didn't like…

Why did it matter?

It wasn't like they had any rights anyway.

It was just stupid tradition… from back when the stealer was more likely to be a (female, of course) Warlord with many men already.

Stupid!

And he had some nerve…

Telling her that if she beat up Akane she would have no honour.

Saying that he would tell Ku Lon, and then she'd be disowned…

And that last part…

Why did he think she cared that he still loved her?

Stupid!

It was all stupid.

The Amazons were stupid.

000

(_Cologne's POV_)

She could not believe her great-granddaughter.

Foolish girl.

She realised now that she should have interfered earlier…

She had long known that Xian Pu was mistreating Mu Tsu, but she had hoped that the girl would see sense on her own.

She had seen it as a test.

When Xian Pu grew-up and learned to treat even those who did not care what she did to them with kindness, then Xian Pu would be ready to lead their family.

It had not turned out how she had wanted.

Now Mu Tsu was lost to them forever and she would have to inform his mother…

That was not something she was looking forward to.

Ai Xia Do would probably explode. She did not like bad things happening to her precious son.

She would blame Ku Lon.

She desperately hoped that it would not end in a rebellion… Ai Xia Do was entirely too much like her great-great-grandmother… Ai Lai Na.

Ai Lai Na had been the last great Warlord of the Amazons.

It was a mess.

To make matters worse Xian Pu had thrown Mu Tsu out of the Cat Café without any consideration for ritual.

It looked like she would have to do some damage control.

Sighing she walked away from her stupid great-granddaughter. There was nothing else she could say. Nothing that would fix anything.

She made her way slowly to Mu Tsu's little room.

She opened the door and looked around…

There was such little evidence that he had ever lived there.

She was sorry now that she had relegated him to such a dark and unpleasant space.

She found the trunk in which he kept those things he was allowed in the corner where she had left it. She had put it back in his room after she had encountered it earlier, hidden in the large storage room where they kept their dried noodles.

Xian Pu had obviously been cruel to him again.

She approached the trunk and carefully eased the lid open…

She winced when she saw its contents.

She had known that Xian Pu was playing some stupid game with Ranma, and using Mu Tsu as one of her pawns. Looking at the neatly folded women's clothes she knew she should have intervened.

Mu Tsu deserved better.

She closed the trunk and let her legs fold up under her.

She hung her head and let herself grieve…

She had failed him.

Mu Tsu was as much her blood as Xian Pu…

She was his great-grandmother. Her son was his grandfather. Her son's son was his father. He was descended from her through the male line…

Which was the reason she was appointed his guardian in Japan.

It had been good having him around. He was gentle, obedient and a fantastic cook. He was also much more reliable than Xian Pu.

How would the Café survive without him?

She sighed again.

It was time to go.

She needed to take the remnants of his previous life and hand them over to Akane.

That was the ritual.

That is what Xian Pu had ignored.

She also needed to have a good talk to Akane about her responsibilities as a new member of the Amazon tribe…

000

(_Akane's POV_)

Things were very, very awkward.

Very.

No one was saying anything and for once Kasumi's breakfast hadn't been completely devoured.

…

She didn't know what to do.

She turned her head to look at Mousse, who was meekly sitting next to her.

Very, very awkward.

She had a horrible feeling that she finally understood part of what life must be like for Ranma.

At least Mousse looked a little more comfortable in her grey draw-string shorts and large pink t-shirt… She was sorry about the t-shirt, but she didn't think he needed to wear anything else too form-fitting.

She'd had to help him out of whatever that wretched polyester thing was…

She'd found him some clothes and left him in her bedroom to get changed; the only thing was that after about five minutes he'd hesitantly poked his head out of her room and asked her for help.

The stupid whatever-it-was was obviously cheaply made so the zip had gotten stuck.

She'd spent about three minutes tugging away at it before it finally gave way…

The relieved sigh he'd made as she tugged the zip down kept crawling into her mind at inappropriate moments.

She'd noticed, just before she'd all but fled, that his flesh under the _whatever_ had red pressure marks and uncomfortable looking chafes…

And that was _with_ the blouse in the way.

She could kill Shampoo.

She wished she understood what had happened… it was all very worrying… only Mousse seemed to be in some sort of shock or something, and was barely speaking.

The only time he seemed to really do anything was when she told him to…

She wasn't enjoying this.

She'd had to _order_ him to eat breakfast.

Not that he'd eaten much even with the order.

…

Yep. Awkward.

Kasumi had cleared away the barely touched dishes after everyone had finished picking at their food, but instead of spending some time in the kitchen cleaning up she'd come right back.

Everyone seemed to be waiting for something to happen, but no one knew what was going to happen or what to say.

She was vaguely thinking of running somewhere far, far away when a knock on the door rang out through the eerily silent house.

Kasumi jumped up with relief and hurried to answer it.

Akane looked up with dread when she heard her sister make a startled exclamation…

She hoped it wasn't something too horrible.

She was completely startled when Kasumi returned to the room followed by Cologne and Shampoo. Shampoo had a new bruise on her face, a highly sulky expression and was carrying a large chest. Cologne looked very serious.

"You can put it down and leave now stupid girl; I no longer need your assistance." The Amazon elder said, pointing her stick at the ground in front of her.

Shampoo dropped the chest with a thump before giving everyone a dirty look and flouncing off.

"Mu Tsu…" Cologne whispered as she caught sight of the boy. A look of profound sadness briefly overcame her features before she shook her head and turned to Akane.

"I must speak with you. Alone. This room will do if everyone else leaves… I'm sorry but that included you Mu Tsu." She said.

Everyone sort of looked at each other before carefully getting to their feet. She noticed that Mousse looked as though he was going to be sick.

Without a word they all started to leave the room.

Kasumi was the last to go and before she had made it even two steps to the door Cologne called out:

"I would appreciate it if you made us a pot of tea… we may be a while."

"O… Okay." Kasumi nervously agreed before leaving.

She and Cologne remained frozen, studying each other, for almost a minute before the Amazon gracefully folded herself forward and pressed her forehead to the floor.

"Please accept my sincerest apologies. Xian Pu's conduct has been very dishonourable." The Amazon said, with a serious tone.

"It… its okay." She replied, somewhat taken aback.

Cologne elegantly raised herself out of the bow and eased into a kneeling position facing her.

"We must discuss what has happened… I am sure you have many questions and I doubt Mu Tsu has been in any state to answer them." Cologne said.

"Yes I do… What…? I mean… Mousse belongs to me?" she said, not sure how to put it.

"Yes. Yes he does. It is because of how males are seen in Amazon culture… as well as the fact that you seem to have inadvertently invoked an old custom." The Amazon said, looking tired.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"It may take a while to explain, and I am not sure how easy it will be for you to understand, but please listen to me for a while… If you have any questions you can ask them at the end" the Amazon said.

"Okay… I guess." she replied.

" There is a custom we call _stealing_ _a male_. It is very old. Very old indeed, one of our oldest surviving customs… though it is rare these days; very, very rare.

It is believed to have originated sometime during the darker days of our past.

We are currently a peaceful people, we believe in control, moderation and respect… but we have not always been so.

We have faced much opposition through the centuries; both from outsiders, who cannot bear the idea of a tribe of warrior women living outside of male rule, and from people inside the community who either become too ambitious or who have been lead astray

The serene and sensible rulership of the council of elders has been challenged through the years by certain individuals.

Warlords.

There have been seven great Warlords throughout our history; but many other, less glorious, women have risen to the position over the years.

Our histories say that it was the Warlords who first brought about the practice of stealing a male.

This is why it is a custom that is rarely practiced these days. If you steal a male you acquire a… _reputation_.

This is because it is thought of as a Warlord custom… thus likening the perpetrator to one of our most fearsome warriors. It is a thing of shame amongst the younger generations… the Warlords are not in… _fashion_… currently.

Stealing a male is different from our usual marriage customs.

In fact it doesn't even have to involve marriage.

I think that for you to properly understand what I am about to tell you I should first explain proper Amazon marriage.

Like many cultures marriage is usually organised by the individual's parents, with the individual having little say. Powerful families make allies of each other in this way.

Some exceptionally strong warriors earn the right to choose their own husband if they apply to the council to revoke any agreements made by their parents… but it is rare.

You have already encountered the custom involving a female warrior defeated by an outsider… but you may not know that if she is already married she is given permission to take on two husbands.

This is very rare in our culture as marriage is usually between one man and one woman.

There is another custom involving when a male Amazon defeats a female. This is extremely rare, but it has happened on two occasions that I know of.

She is given three months to defeat him in return, but if she cannot she is forced to marry him…

Again this is a situation that can end in one woman having two husbands.

There is _no_ way for an Amazon male to have two wives.

In marriage the female is the dominant partner.

The male takes on the female's last name, as do the children.

The female owns any and all property of the household; including weapons, clothing, jewellery, money, and any and all buildings.

The male is not allowed to have his own money… if he needs something the female is supposed to supply it, though she _is_ allowed to give him an… _allowance_. Provided it is small.

The female is allowed to treat the male any way she sees fit as he has no legal rites; but there have been some extreme cases when the council has confiscated a husband that we have seen to be too mistreated.

Furthermore only female children can inherit. If a woman has nothing but male children then the _wife_ of her eldest son becomes her heir… in such cases special attention is payed to choosing said wife.

What you have done is outside of the usual rules." Cologne stopped speaking as Kasumi returned to the room carrying a steaming teapot and two tea cups.

"Thank you." The Amazon said to her eldest sister as Kasumi carefully placed the teapot on the table.

Kasumi looked at her for a moment with a worried expression before leaving the room.

"Ah… Jasmine Tea. Your sister is too kind." Cologne said, smiling as she sniffed the fragrant steam.

Akane remembered that it had been her mother's favourite tea and sighed at the strange sensation of comfort that overcame her at its smell.

Cologne carefully poured them both a cup and placed Akane's in front of her before beginning to speak again.

"Now… where was I? Oh yes… What you have done is outside of the usual rules." The Amazon began, but Akane's need to know what exactly she _had_ done was too much to bear so she interrupted Cologne's narrative to say:

"What _did_ I do?"

"Ah… perhaps I should have started there. The custom of stealing a male is a relatively simple one.

First the… _stealer_… gives the male she is interested in a token of her appreciation – usually a piece of jewellery… a bangle is preferred.

I saw the one you bought for Mu Tsu… it is very pretty.

Then the _stealer_ verbally challenges either the guardian of the male, or the guardian's heir.

Last night I heard Xian Pu muttering about you challenging her … she is my heir and I am Mu Tsu's guardian while he is in Japan.

Finally the _stealer_ physically challenges the guardian or heir… if she wins then the male is hers.

You won. You knocked Xian Pu unconscious with a… table.

The ritual must be completed within three days, which you have done.

One other important fact about the ritual is about the gift. If the male accepts the present then he is accepting her claim on him… but if he rejects it then the guardian or heir have three attempts at defeating the _stealer_ (if she wins) in order to win him back.

Mu Tsu accepted the bangle… that means there is nothing that can be done.

By our laws he is yours.

There are some other facts you need to know now that you… _own_ him.

Because he has been stolen he is… completely yours.

The elders can not confiscate him.

He can not be stolen by anyone else.

Stealing a male is one of the few ways a woman can take a married or engaged man as her own, but once stolen he cannot be stolen back.

It is also the third and final way a woman can have more than one husband... there is no limit to the amount of men a woman can steal.

Further, it is the only way for a female outsider to acquire an Amazon male.

Because your defeat of Xian Pu happened within the confines of the stealing ritual she can not give you the 'kiss of death'.

You have also automatically become an Amazon.

Your family has automatically become 'friends of the Amazons'…

They will not be fully covered by our laws, but they will be able to call on us for assistance.

I need to ask you a couple of questions now…

Your mother is dead isn't she?" The Amazon woman said.

"Er… yes." She replied, wondering what that had to do with anything.

"Do you have any older female relatives on your mother's side?" Cologne asked.

"No. My grandmother is dead, and my mother had no sisters." She replied, feeling very curious at what the questions were getting at.

"Neither of your sisters are martial artists are they?" Cologne asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Er… Kasumi trained for a little while, but that was years ago, and Nabiki has never been… interested." She replied.

"Hm… well… since you are the eldest female martial artist in your family that would make you the family head as far as we are concerned." Cologne declared.

What?

"What? Family head?!" she… might have, _maybe_, shrieked. Just a little.

"Yes. Family head. We will have to add you to role." Cologne murmured, her eyes distant.

"But… but… but." She stuttered. Family head?!

"I believe you to be up to the task… don't disappoint me." The Amazon… _elder Amazon_… said.

Akane didn't know what to say… it was all a bit much.

"Now… on to more practical matters. This chest contains all of the things that have been provided to Mu Tsu. The chest and its contents are now yours.

I am afraid that I could not find his robes… I fear that Xian Pu had destroyed them.

But his weapons and those new… clothes… that Xian Pu forced on him are all here.

I… I will have to inform his mother of what has happened.

She will _not_ be impressed.

She has always… coddled… him.

Which is understandable considering the circumstances of his birth…

I suppose I should inform you of such, it is your right to know now that you…

Well.

Mu Tsu's mother, Ai Xia Do, is probably our village's greatest living warrior.

She comes from a family that had fallen into… ignominy… but even as a child she showed inordinate promise.

When she was a young woman we were invaded by bandits who were aiming to take some of our women as their wives…

This happens periodically… some men are just…

_Well_… anyway.

At the time most of our village was away, attending a celebration being held in our honour by one of our more peaceful neighbouring villages.

All that remained were the old and infirm, the children, the injured and one member of our council.

Ai Xia Do had been injured in a training incident earlier in the week and was forced to stay behind.

When the bandits attacked…

When the bandits attacked she sent one of the fastest runners from amongst the children to get help and then gathered everyone who could fight, told the weak or too young to hide and almost single-handedly defended our village.

She was badly injured in that battle, and for many years it was thought that she would not be able to bear children.

It was a surprise for everyone involved when she fell pregnant with Mu Tsu.

She had trouble carrying him, and most of us did not think she would make it to term… but somehow she did.

It seemed entirely too tragic, that after everything her child should be born a boy.

She didn't care though.

She indulged him from the moment he was born…

You must know that Mu Tsu has always been a kind, sweet boy…

Some of his behaviour recently has gone against type, but I hold my foolish great-granddaughter responsible for that. He tries too hard to impress her.

And so as a child he never knew cruelty, never knew deprivation… was never treated like chattel, unlike so many of our male children.

Of course, his dealings with Xian Pu have changed this somewhat.

For ten years it looked as though he would be her only child, but just as unexpectedly as the first time, she fell pregnant.

This second pregnancy resulted in twin girls.

That is the only reason she even let him out of her sight long enough for him to come to Japan.

However, he is still her precious little baby boy…

When I tell her what has happened I expect that she will head straight here…

You must be ready.

She will be angry enough; I do not intent to present some half-trained _child_ to her as the person who stole her son.

I will give you today to get Mu Tsu acclimatised to his new environment… but after that. After that I will arrive here everyday, and I _will_ train you.

We do not have much time… but you have a lot of potential.

It is not potential that will be wasted.

Furthermore, I expect you to end your engagement to… to Ranma. While you have no legal obligation to do such, I highly recommend you doing your best to minimise her irritation with you.

I also expect you to marry Mu Tsu.

This is another thing that you have no legal obligation to do…

But I warn you now. Ai Xia Do is hard to control at the best of times, and I do not expect her to obey our laws if you mistreat her son.

I do not want a rebellion to start because you are being stubborn.

And… one final point.

Please do not be cruel to him. I do not think you will be…

But please don't be.

Now… do you have any questions?"

000


	20. Resolutions

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 20: Resolutions.

Rating: Teenesque 

Disclaimer: 'Tis not mine… this thing by the name of Ranma 1/2

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma.

Pairings of Maybeness: Ryu/Kasumi (weird I am), Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

This is a little shorter than the last bit, but I think it ended at a good place.

I have spent the last… however long… wanting to do nothing but write, but studying (unfortunately) must come first.

I may have also written a short Heroes story in that time.

Perhaps.

I also have a Livejournal thingo now. Yay me. Or something. But I am not getting much use out of it so far.

I hope to have another chapter done sometime early next week.

I hope you enjoy.

_**Things That Might Make You Want to Jump Ship:**_

I don't like Shampoo, so she's not going to come off that well here. Shampoo's always come off way too narcissistic for my tastes. If you like Shampoo you may want to jump ship now. 

Ryouga. I don't always like him either, so he's gonna have a few bad things happen. Bwa Ha Ha Ha. 

Akane/Mousse. Well, Akane's going to be wearing the trousers in that relationship… so if you have a problem with that… 

The story will be neither shounen ai nor het. I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his _entire_ self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate. 

_**  
**_Other things I think should be mentioned: 

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Yes I know that what Aiko is planning to do is pretty much as bad as what Ranma's other fiancées do. See above.

_**THANK YOU FOR READING. THANK YOU IF YOU REVIEW, OR HAVE REVIEWED. JUST THANK YOU.**_

000

(_Aiko's POV_)

She watched the steam rise from her cup of tea…

It was morning, still fairly early, and she had finally dragged herself out of bed.

Her sons, her babies, were already gone… though she suspected that Ryu had stayed out all night.

They were good boys. Such good boys.

The things that they had seen, the things that had happened to them… she wished they could have had a better life.

She wished they'd never seen her coming home at all hours; bleeding and beaten.

She wished…

Well, things would get better for them now. She would make sure of it.

Kiyoshi would be happy with Ranma, her family would regain its honour, and she could go to her grave knowing that she'd done what needed to be done.

Happosai had ruined them.

_Ruined_ them.

Her family… her once great family. 

Greatest of the thieves.

Silent, deadly, powerful.

Centuries of techniques all stolen… all gone.

Her grandfather (not matter how much of a good man he had been) simply hadn't had the talent to master more than the basics of their school. But he had kept their scrolls… 

They were supposed to be… _magnificent_. 

One of the most complete collections of martial arts techniques.

Happosai had come… he's come and _taken_ them. 

Not all of them, he'd left a few basic ones; but those had been destroyed by her mother.

Stupid woman.

…

Her father had told her, before he died when she was just a little girl, that when her grandfather had discovered the theft he had left immediately to track down the thief.

He would spend years away from home, and when he did return he looked a little older, a little tireder, a little sicker… until he just hadn't come home one time.

They still didn't know what had happened to him.

Her grandmother… a strong female martial artist from another school, had kept their Dojou running through all the years her husband was gone… But after he stopped coming back… after… she had taken to her bed. 

She had died less than a month later.

Depression ran in their family.

That was one of the reasons she was so worried for Kiyoshi.

Her father, their only child, had devoted his life to finding Happosai and getting their scrolls back… he had met her mother when he was about thirty seven and they had gotten married.

He had tried, for a time, to forget his quest and get on with his life.

Why, she didn't know, as they had been completely incompatible.

She could remember, when she was very young, listening to her mother shout and scream and nag.

He was never good enough for her.

Just like _she_ had never been good enough for her.

The martial arts were _nothing_ as far as her mother had been concerned.

_Nothing_.

Only a fool bothered with them.

One day he had heard a rumour, heard where he could find Happosai… and he'd left.

He'd gone for the scrolls one final time.

Final… because he had returned a little over a month later.

He had said that the scrolls had been destroyed. They were gone. There was no hope for their school.

No hope.

He had been injured on that last journey, not badly, but his resulting _apathy_ had prevented him from properly taking care of the injury.

Infection had killed him… and she could still remember it.

His suffering.

The _smell_.

Being forced to nurse him as her mother had revelled in other's sympathy.

She had been glad when he died.

Watching him suffer…

It _hurt_; it hurt worse to think of how it must have been for her son as he watched her husband die.

_Renjirou…_

She missed him.

So badly.

He had been a good man. A kind man. A strong man.

He had to be, to put up with what she'd been…

She could still remember the first time.

Her mother's words

"_Aiko __**please**__… go with Mr. Yamamoto. The house… the house is... it needs some repairs. I just need you to do this for me. It will only be __**once**_."

It hadn't only been once.

But eventually she'd escaped her mother and moved on.

She wouldn't say she moved _up_… that took a little while longer.

…

She felt cold. Cold, angry and disgusted… she didn't like to think about her past.

But she mustn't forget the lessons it had taught her.

She mustn't become _weak_. 

As a family… as a family they depended on her plan working.

Kiyoshi… he _needed_ someone.

She didn't want him… to… 

She didn't want the depression that had stolen so many members of her family to take the life of her son.

Ryu… she thought Ryu would be OK. He was a fighter. More of a fighter than his brother.

She could remember her mother in-law, the cold-hearted matriarch of the Kurosawa clan, always going on about Ryu.

_Ryu was a girl._

_Ryu was a freak._

_Why did she let Ryu act like that?_

_She should discipline her._

_Ryu's happiness didn't matter._

_Nothing mattered except image…_

_And Ryu was tainting the image of the Kurosawa family._

_Ryu could never inherit, so wasn't it cruel to let her remain deluded?_

And so on.

But Ryu was strong. The fact that he had survived Kana was proof of it.

She had never liked Kana; the girl had reminded her far too much of her mother and mother in-law…

Ryu would be fine…

What she really needed was a way to lock someone in their cursed form…

Because it would be an added bonus if she could give that as a gift to her eldest son… but mainly… _Ranma_.

She looked back down into her tea cup and sighed when she noticed that her tea was now lukewarm.

She'd have to heat up some more water…

_Wait_.

It couldn't be…

That would be far too easy.

But… but what _if…_

000

(_Akane's POV_)

What?...

What was she supposed to… to _ask_?

Her mind had emptied.

It was all… all too _hard_.

"T… train me?" she eventually stuttered out.

"Yes. Train you. Physically you are very… _strong_, one of the strongest women I have ever met… but you lack training. By the time Ai Xia Do arrives you will be good enough to defeat Xian Pu in open combat… and if we continue after she leaves I expect you to become a martial artist of the level of Ryouga Hibiki… perhaps even of… of Ranma." Cologne replied, and she was speechless. Could she really be that good? But something else had attracted her attention.

"Why do you keep calling Ranma by his name? You usually call him '_son-in-law_'" 

"You noticed. Yes… I suppose… Xian Pu is… No, it's nothing. Forget you ever noticed it." The elder Amazon replied, looking sort of… worried.

"But…" she began.

"_Forget it_." Cologne snapped harshly. 

She didn't know what to say after that, and they fell into an awkward silence. Eventually her mind dragged itself back to another worrying topic.

"What do you mean when you say I am now the '_Family Head_'?" she asked, meeting Cologne's eyes with a serious expression.

"It is complicated. It means that… it means, in part, that you are now responsible for the actions of your family. It means that you have the right to appeal directly to the Council of Elders… it also means that if you perform well in three battles or five competitions or reach the age of thirty-five you will automatically become one of the Council of Elders. 

It is a position of great authority; being Family Head. You will be one of our representatives in Japan, and there _will_ be times when members of our tribe may rely on your help and hospitality. 

Mu Tsu is… he is something of an expert on our rules and customs. An interest he inherited from his father. He will be able to give you advice… if you ever need it… on anything to do with our customs." Cologne explained, looking pensive.

"But…" she began again, but was interrupted.

"Now, I really must go. The Cat Café can not run itself… and it is hardly something I want to trust my great-granddaughter with for any length of time. I will see you tomorrow… be _prepared_." Cologne said as she stood and made her way to the door.

Akane watched her leave, half trapped in her own thoughts. She distantly heard Cologne complimenting Kasumi on the tea and then she heard the front door open and close.

…

What was she going to do?

Well, first things first… she had been planning to break off the engagement with Ranma… and, if anything this situation seemed to have reinforced her resolution.

Gingerly she stood and walked to the door… she supposed that the best way of getting Ranma to listen would be to bring him in here alone.

000

(_Ranma's POV- la, la, la - female_)

They were all waiting in the kitchen for the old ghoul to be finished with Akane…

It was pretty awkward. No one seemed to be saying anything; although Nabiki looked as though she was about to explode from suppressed laughter.

He just had this feeling… it was going to be one of _those_ days wasn't it?

One of the _bad_ days.

One of the days in which crap would be closing in from every quarter.

…

He wasn't looking forward to it. Maybe he could find somewhere to hide before it all got _too _bad.

The whole thing with Shampoo and Kiyoshi should have tipped him off.

Yep. Definitely.

How embarrassing had that ended up being. Soaking wet, wrapped around Kiyoshi… and then having to keep his eyes shut.

'Cause if he'd looked down he would have seen a whole lot more of his fiancé than he wanted. A _whole_ _lot_ more.

After he'd climbed down off of Kiyoshi (with his eyes still shut) and Kiyoshi had started to get dressed, Kiyoshi had told him that his mother had gone out… for a minute he'd rejoiced, 'cause if she wasn't lurking around then he could stay male for a while…

That was before he'd remembered that she'd stolen all his clothes.

There was no way he was going to cross-dress, so he'd been forced to turn back female and go and get dressed.

Looking in his wardrobe wasn't something he was going to do again in a hurry. 

Scary.

Very scary.

Very, very scary.

His underwear drawer… his underwear drawer had _lacy things_ in it.

He'd shut his eyes and fished around for the most normal, panty feeling thing (which turned out to be a pair of plain lilac panties) and had decided to just wear the sports-bra from yesterday.

The sports-bra was surprisingly comfortable and he was thinking of working out someway of keeping one on him _just in case_ when everything went back to normal.

Then he'd had the problem of finding something else to wear…

He'd gone with what he thought was a sensible idea: the first items he found that weren't lacy, frilly or skirted were what he was going to go with.

Taking a deep breath and diving in he had fairly easily found something reasonable… but _still_… some of what he'd also found was rather _worrying_. 

Really, really _worrying_.

No way was he going to wear… no. Just _NO_.

He'd run into Kiyoshi again in the hallway, and then all that stuff with Mousse had happened.

That was… stuff like that _did _happen to other people. He couldn't believe it.

Now _Akane_ had two fiancés. _Akane._

A small part of his mind said that it served her right for the way she treated him about that stuff…

But he tried to ignore it.

He turned his head left and looked at Mousse, who was standing in the corner staring at the floor.

He felt sorry for the Amazon boy… _true_ Mousse hadn't always (or ever) been that nice to him… but he could see how Shampoo treated Mousse. As well as how much Mousse loved her…

It couldn't be good for a person, to be that entangled with Shampoo.

And now all this had happened. It wasn't fair that she was using Mousse in her quest for him. Not fair. On _either_ of them.

"Cause it was just too embarrassing all 'round.

Suddenly, or at least it felt sudden because of how wound up they all were, Cologne appeared in the doorway. She studied them for a minute before turning to Kasumi, who was nervously washing up, and saying:

"Thank you for the tea, it was very good. I will see myself out." Before leaving with utmost composure.

There was a pause as they all studied each other, wondering what would happen next…

After a few minutes Akane stuck her head in the door and focussed on him.

"Ranma… I need to talk to you for a minute. _Alone_." She said, looking… odd.

"Um… Ok." He replied, deeply curious about what had happened between her and Cologne.

He walked out of the kitchen and followed her back to the dining room; carefully taking a seat and frowning when, instead of sitting, she started to pace up and down the room.

"Akane… What?" he queried, somehow hoping she'd understand what he was getting at.

"It's… I need to talk to you about something… I need you to _listen_. It's… it's important." She replied, looking grimly serious.

"Ok. I'm listening." He said, but a little part of his mind was already telling him that this was going to end badly.

"There's… this stuff with Mousse. Apparently… I mean… I… he's mine. Mine to do with as I wish… but Cologne is going to tell his mother. And she sounds like… like… And Cologne is going to train me, because she doesn't want his mother meeting me like I am… and I'm… I'm the '_Family Head_' as far as the Amazon's are concerned, and… it's all very confusing." Akane blurted out in a rushed jumble.

_What_?

"What?" he asked, because it _was_ all very confusing.

"Yeah… but there's more than that… Ranma. Ranma I… I don't want to marry you." She said, turning to face him with a very serious expression.

_WHAT?_

"What? Why? Is this because of this stuff with Mousse? Or Kiyoshi? 'Cause if its Kiyoshi you gotta believe me; _I am not gay_." He said, desperately hoping she'd listen to him.

"No. No Ranma… it's not that. It's just… do you really think we'd make each other happy? Can you really look into our future and see us together, and _not _making each other miserable?" She said, as she finally sat down facing him.

"Why?... I mean… I know I'm not perfect or anything but… we could make it work." He said. He needed this thing with Akane; it was certainty. Everything else just… fell apart all the time. But Akane… it didn't matter if he even liked her, if he even desired her… it was his destiny.

"Ranma… To start with you're not my type… but I could get over that if it wasn't for… The relationship… the relationship I have with you is more like the relationship I have with Nabiki than the sort of relationship I'd want with a boyfriend or husband." She replied, looking almost sad. But he didn't care. He just…

"Well your not exactly my type either." He snapped, crossing his arms defiantly.

"I know that…You've made _damn_ sure I've always known that." She snapped back, looking incredibly angry for a moment before she sighed and shook her head.

"Ranma… _we_ deserve better. We deserve something more than what our parents have planned for us." She said, looking at him with kind eyes.

He didn't know… he didn't… he…

"I… Akane… I, I gotta go… I…" he muttered wrenching himself to his feet. He needed to… to escape. To think. He couldn't think. But… but he knew how…

"Ranma!" she shouted after him as he staggered out of the dining room and headed to the kitchen.

Everyone looked at him with surprise as he stuck his head in the doorway and said, "Kiyoshi… I said we'd spar today, so come on." Before heading to the front door without waiting for his fiancé. 

Kiyoshi appeared at his side before he'd made it to the end of the street.

"You ok?" his fiancé asked, with a concerned look.

"Yeah… no… I dunno. I need to think about something." He replied.

"Sparring helps you think?" the taller boy asked.

"Yeah… sometimes." He replied.

"It's like that with me too." Kiyoshi said, smiling at him again.

They made it to the empty lot fairly quickly and wordlessly got into position. He smiled at Kiyoshi once before preparing to strike.

_BAM_

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

The fight was… frustrating.

It had been going on for about eleven minutes but it didn't look like either of them would win.

They were pretty much evenly matched.

Ranma was so fast Kiyoshi couldn't hit him and he, himself, was so strong that it didn't matter how often Ranma struck.

They were getting nowhere.

It was fun though, in its own way.

Ranma really was spectacular. 

He flinched as he blocked a savage blow to his abdomen.

Yep. Ranma was spectacular.

Spotting a weakness in Ranma's defence he lashed out, but Ranma was already gone. 

This was getting them nowhere.

Ranma pushed himself off the ground with his arms, aiming a vicious kick at his head, so he raised his arms and blocked.

_Thwap_

It hurt… a little.

As Ranma was preparing to strike again he spotted another weakness in his fiancées defence and struck… missing Ranma but striking the ground. He was impressed by the size of the dent he left… he must have gotten stronger since the last time he'd done that.

_Thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack._

_**OW.**_

In the tiny amount of time he was just a little distracted Ranma somehow managed to land at least ten kicks to his head. 

He staggered backwards trying to shake off the dazed feeling of being struck so many times.

He planted his feet and raised his arms, waiting for Ranma to attack again.

But Ranma seemed to be distracted by something, and was just standing there thinking.

He lowered his arms and carefully approached his fiancée "What's wrong?" he asked Ranma, who startled.

"I was just… I was… I. I don't have to, do I? I mean, I've always pretty much done what my old man wanted. He's always made the decisions and I've never really thought for myself… I suppose it's always been easier that way. But I don't have to. I can make up my own mind. I can… I don't have to marry Akane. I can marry whoever I want. I never… I never promised _anyone_. It's his problem not mine… right?" Ranma said, looking… looking like he'd had an epiphany.

Kiyoshi smiled at his fiancée, this sounded like a good development for Ranma.

"Yeah, it's his problem." He said and raised his arms again as Ranma smiled at him and fell back into an offensive posture.

"Ok… now that that's off my mind… Let's do this." His fiancée said before kicking out towards his head.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

Ranma had been gone for almost half an hour now… 

She just wished he'd _listen to her_. Just once. She sighed and shook her head. 

She didn't know what to do. She didn't. So she was hiding.

She hadn't left the dining room since Ranma had run off… no one had come in either.

She knew that she couldn't hide forever, but still… it was tempting. _Very tempting_.

She was preparing to drag herself out of the room to go and deal with the Mousse situation when Ranma suddenly opened the door and entered the room.

Her ex-fiancé looked dirty, mildly bruised and incredibly happy.

She wondered what Auntie Saotome would say when she caught sight of what 'Ranko' had done to her new clothes.

Ranma smiled at her, tilted his head to the side and all but laughed "I don't want to marry you."

"What?" she asked, confused.

"I don't want to marry you. You're right; we'd make each other _miserable_. I was just… I was scared. But there's no point being scared." He said, sitting down opposite her.

"Really? Ranma that's… that's fantastic. If… If you think it's possible I'd like us… to be friends. Do you think we could be?" she asked, terrified he'd say no. She felt that she needed friends in this strange new world she'd found herself in, in which she was the head of her family and the new owner of a… fairly pretty, if she was honest… male Amazon.

"Yeah… I'd like that." He said, giving her an incredibly sweet smile. 

"Ok." She said smiling back at him.

"So… This stuff with Cologne and Mousse… do you think you could explain it to me, 'cause I didn't really get what you were saying earlier." He said, after a slight pause.

"Yeah… I could use another opinion on some of it." She replied, preparing to tell him all about what Cologne had said.

000


	21. Surprises

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 21: Surprises.

Rating: Teenishhhh

Disclaimer: This is a disclaimer.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma.

Pairings of Maybeness: Ryu/Kasumi (weird I am), Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

I have been suffering a small amount of writer's block… especially around _this_ story.

I find this irritating. I must apologise for not getting back to everyone who reviewed sooner… I was frustrated. So I went a bit avoidant. I suck, this I know.

I have no idea when the next part will be out. Sorry again.

Erm… I have also been working on my dialogue style…

I realised, the other day, that this is the fluffiest thing I have ever written. No murder, torture, cannibalism, stalking, serial killers, etc… weird.

Um… Ah yes!

Notes on Fashion:

I'm trying to stick to vaguely time appropriate clothing… thus do not expect incredible tight low-rise jeans, or any of the other strange fashion statements of our current age.

_**Things That Might Make You Want to Jump Ship:**_

I don't like Shampoo, so she's not going to come off that well here. Shampoo's always come off way too narcissistic for my tastes. If you like Shampoo you may want to jump ship now.

Ryouga. I don't always like him either, so he's gonna have a few bad things happen. Bwa Ha Ha Ha.

Akane/Mousse. Well, Akane's going to be wearing the trousers in that relationship… so if you have a problem with that…

The story will be neither shounen ai nor het. I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his _entire_ self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate.

_**  
**_Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Yes I know that what Aiko is planning to do is pretty much as bad as what Ranma's other fiancées do. See above.

_**THANK YOU FOR READING. THANK YOU IF YOU REVIEW, OR HAVE REVIEWED. JUST THANK YOU.**_

000

(_Akane's POV_)

Kasumi gave her a measured look before shaking her head, "I'm sorry, but there isn't a whole lot of choice. The house has too many people living in it as it is."

She couldn't believe her sister. How could she possibly think it was a reasonable thing to do?

She took a deep breath and tried to remain calm, "He's _not_ sleeping in the Dojou. He's just not."

Kasumi looked unimpressed, "Well it's either the Dojou or your bedroom."

"_Then he can sleep in my bedroom_. He's an Amazon; they're a female dominated society… it's hardly like he's going to do anything to me." She reasoned.

He sister sighed, "You'll have to deal with father when he finds out…" she warned.

She crossed her arms and gathered herself, "What can he do? Mousse is _my_ responsibility. Now… do you know if we have _another_ spare futon?"

Her sister studied her intently for a minute before saying, "I think there's one in the attic… I'm not sure, mind you. But if there isn't I suppose we can borrow one from somebody…" Kasumi bit her lip and sort of grimaced, "Akane… Akane are you _sure?_"

"Yeah, I'm sure" she replied… even though she really, really wasn't.

Kasumi frowned at her, shook her head and went back to cleaning the bathroom floor.

She shrugged and went looking for Ranma… she'd left him in the dining room with Mousse and Kiyoshi.

His father had gone in to check on her father and Ryu was having a smoke outside the Dojou.

She found him almost where she'd left him, except he was lazing about in the sun next to Kiyoshi.

Wait…

That wasn't usual Ranma behaviour… but looking at him she found that he looked quite content, as well as quite a lot like a snoozing cat… but she wouldn't tell him that.

"Ranma, could you come and give me a hand?" she called out and smirked when he almost jumped out of his skin at the sound of her voice.

"Akane?! You startled me!" he squawked, before blushing and rubbing the back of his head, "Yeah I'll come help, what do you want me to do?"

"There's supposed to be a spare futon in the attic… I need someone to help me find it and bring it down."

He scrunched up his face at the thought, "Ok. Sounds _fun_." He replied with sarcasm, getting to his feet to go with her.

They made their way to the attic in silence, and she winced when they got a good look at its contents. It didn't look as though it had been cleaned out since before her mother had died…

Ranma let out an awed whistle, "Wow… there's a whole lot of… _stuff_ up here isn't there?"

"Yeah… well… Um… I suppose we'll just have to see if we can find it." She replied, trying to think of where the most logical place to leave a futon would be.

Carefully she walked forward and started to explore, noting that Ranma was following suite.

There seemed to be boxes everywhere and she was all but tripping over them trying to find this futon. Kasumi had said that she thought there was one in the attic, which meant that it had probably ended up there sometime not _that_ long ago… it couldn't be too far in, could it?

"Ah ha! Akane I think I've found it." Ranma called from the other side of the attic.

She quickly hurried over and discovered Ranma, half hidden behind a stack of boxes. Ranma carefully edged his way out and pointed to where he had been. She carefully edged her way in there to take a look and found the futon rolled up and hidden behind several stacks of boxes.

She examined the boxes carefully, "it looks like we'll have to move some of this if we want to get it out."

Ranma murmured an affirmative, already moving towards the things that needed shifting.

They had almost moved enough to get the futon out when she accidentally knocked one of the boxes, which fell over and spilled baby clothes across the floor.

"Akane's baby-clothes…" Ranma read off the side of the box. "Obviously wasn't taped up properly."

"Look at them… they're so _tiny_. Was I ever really that small?" she whispered picking up a tiny pink bodysuit.

She knelt down and began to collect the clothes to put them back in the box.

Ranma squatted down opposite her and studied the clothing, looking somewhat disturbed by something.

He reached out and picked up a little sakura-patterned dress, "Akane… do you… do you ever think what it'd be like. You know. Having kids?"

"Hmm… I dunno. I mean, we… if we'd ever gotten married I suppose we would have ended up having children. But I never really thought about it. I suppose I _didn't want_ to think about it."

"I don't think I'd make a good parent, you know. 'Cause, I mean, it's not like… I mean, my old man _tried_, I suppose… I just dunno how much of a good job he did. And I don't think I'd know _how_, and the kid would end up all screwed up," he murmured… was he _blushing?_

She thought about it for a moment, biting her lip, "I don't know Ranma. I don't think you'd do too bad a job. Considering some of the stuff that's happened to you… you have a whole lot of patience, you know. Because most people would have left long ago. Now _me…_ I think I'd be a worse parent than you. I've got… I've got a pretty bad temper."

He gave her a sad little smirk, "Nah, Akane you'd be fine. You can be pretty compassionate in the right circumstances." She knew he meant that she could be pretty compassionate provided you weren't _him_.

"I suppose… I sort of want kids… now that I've thought about it. I just… I don't know. I guess I don't really fancy the idea of actually _getting pregnant_ first."

Kids… kids would be nice. Cute. She could imagine them now… but the idea of having them growing inside of her and having to give up so many of the things she wanted to do… not so nice.

He suddenly snickered, and when she looked at him askance he smirked "I suppose you could always drag whoever you marry to Jusenkyo and dump them in the 'spring of drowned girl' before taking a swim in the 'spring of drowned boy'… that way _they _could have the kids."

"Ranma!" she exclaimed but found herself laughing anyway.

They shared a moment of mutual amusement before they got back to work. She efficiently packed away her baby clothes and then joined Ranma in hauling boxes.

It didn't take them long to get enough room to extract the futon, which they moved to the clear space near the ladder.

She hesitated, there was something else they should discuss before they went back where people could hear them, "You know… we're going to have to tell them at some stage."

He winced and bit his lip, averting his eyes, "I suppose… it's just, you know how they're going to react."

She sighed,"Maybe with your mother here it won't be so bad. It will severely restrict the amount of plotting they'll be able to do."

"I dunno. I don't think she'll be all that happy that you've decided not to marry me."

She winced, imagining Nodoka's reaction, "Yeah… but at least someone won't be blaming _you_, which is what our fathers will do."

It was all going to get messy, wasn't it?

"They'll probably try to get me to agree to marry Nabiki or Kasumi since I won't marry you." He muttered, scowling.

"You aren't interested in either of them?" she asked, but she already knew the answer.

He scrunched up his face like he smelled something unpleasant, "No. I have no intention of ending up a porn star, which is what will happen if I marry Nabiki… and Kasumi… Kasumi is sort of… I don't feel like I can talk to her or anything. She's… _different_. More grown up or something."

"I'm not sure Nabiki's _that_ bad. But I get what you mean about Kasumi. Personally I don't think either of them suit you," she declared.

For a minute they just looked at each other with a sense of mutual future misery.

They sighed in unison.

She winced, "I suppose we'll have to tell them anyway. Later though. Let's give my father a chance to recover from the Mousse thing first."

She shook her head and turned her mind back to the business in hand. She knew all too well how her father would react.

"Ok… let's get this thing down." Ranma said, kicking at the futon.

"Yeah… there should be enough room in my room for it. I'm going to have to find somewhere to put Mousse's things as well…"

"Your room? You're putting Mousse in your room?" Ranma squeaked.

"Yeah… there's no room for him anywhere else." she responded, raising her eyebrow at him.

He gave her a _look_ and shook his head, "Ok… but that's going to make everything that much more difficult."

She tried to look confident, like she knew what she was doing, "Yeah… I know. But it'll be ok."

It took a bit of manoeuvring to get the futon down from the attic, but it wasn't too hard. They climbed down after it and carried it to her room where she took off its protective covering and untied it to let it roll out.

It looked to be in good condition… in fact it didn't look like it had ever been used.

She wondered why it had been bought…

They moved it around until it was lying parallel to the bed with enough distance between them that she wouldn't accidentally stand on Mousse when she got out of bed.

She'd have to go and get some linen to make it.

As she walked to the door something occurred to her.

"Ranma, you might want to have a bath and get changed before Auntie Saotome gets back. You're a bit of a mess and I don't think she'll like what you've done to those clothes." She said.

She watched as he looked down to examine his clothing and winced. The white shorts were a horrible brown-grey colour with several grass stains and the t-shirt was covered in dust. He reached up and smoothed back his hair, pausing and extracting a twig from the dirty red mess.

"Yeah… a bath sounds like a good idea." He said, scratching the back of his head.

Ranma called out "see ya" as he left the room.

Now to find some bedding… and to try and make the bed. After all, it was usually Kasumi's job.

000

(_Happosai's POV_)

Panties.

Glorious panties.

Pink panties, blue panties, white panties, black panties, naughty little red panties…

He was in heaven.

He'd been up late into the night categorising the new additions to his collection…

He was so happy.

It was bliss.

He'd eventually fallen asleep face-down in a pile of thongs…

Such heavenly dreams he's had…

But now… now he had a mission.

Perhaps that cruel and wicked tyrant who had done such evil things to his silky darlings would be out and about today…

If so…

He, the mighty knight, would rescue any frail and delicate whisps of delight from the terrible fate the tyrant had in store for them.

Oh yes. Yes he would.

Feeling ridiculously energetic he bounced to his feet and began to run… soon enough he would be away from the home of his stupid students and then he'd be away. He'd be free.

Free to indulge his fantasy of a panty filled future…

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

He kept staring at the messily made futon… was this really his life? Was this really his future? Hadn't Akane ever made a bed before?

"Ok. So Mousse, this is my bedroom. This is where you'll be staying. Um… this is your futon." Akane said, pointing at the futon and looking uncomfortable, "We'll have to do something with your belongings… I think there's enough room for us to keep the chest in here for your weapons but we should really put your clothes in the wardrobe."

He couldn't find his voice, he felt completely choked, so he just nodded his head and bit his lip.

She sighed and opened his trunk, which she had brought up when she'd gone to get him, and started to go through his possessions. He hoped she approved of everything, because if she didn't she was allowed through whatever she wanted away.

She was mainly going through his clothes currently; taking things out, inspecting them and then putting them in several piles on the bed. Every now and then she'd scrunch up her face and say "ugh, what _is_ this?" or "Shampoo must be totally _insane_" and throw whatever it was she was holding into a pile in the corner.

He found himself studying her as she worked. It wasn't _that_ bad, he supposed. She was kind, intelligent, strong, attractive… he didn't think she would be cruel to him… so he could have done a whole lot worse. There were many girls he knew back home who wouldn't be anywhere near as considerate as she was being if they were in her shoes.

He noticed that she was blushing and when he turned to see what had her attention he found her sorting through his… his new underwear. How embarrassing.

A great flurry of lace and frills started to fly in the direction of what he took to be the rejected pile "I don't care if I'm almost broke, I'm getting you some new underwear," she muttered, half to herself.

By the time she was done it seemed that all the really ridiculous, frilly or overly feminine items that Xian Pu had bought him were lying in a pathetic pile in the corner. He looked down at the bed to discover that it was covered in not-quite-neat piles of the most practical parts of his new wardrobe.

It was… considerate. Very considerate. No, it might not be _too_ bad… even though it meant that he would never be able to be with Xian Pu.

There was a knock on the door and when Akane called out "come in" Saotome stuck her head in the door.

Saotome scrunched up her nose at them and asked "how's it going?"

"It's ok. I've almost got everything sorted now… do you want to come in?" replied Akane.

Saotome frowned at her, "you sure that's ok?"

Akane smirked at her and said "we aren't engaged anymore. And we have a witness in case you're worried I'm going to try to do anything to you."

Wait… they weren't engaged anymore?

"Akane… was that a joke, just then?" Saotome said, with an amused smile.

Akane just smirked at her.

Saotome shook her head and walked over to them, frowning at the pile of frills in the corner.

"What's all that?" Saotome asked.

Akane rolled her eyes, "its things Shampoo bought that I don't think Mousse needs."

"Doesn't look like the sort of stuff anyone needs," said Saotome, who sat down next to Akane.

That meant that Saotome was getting a good look at his underwear. He felt himself go a bright and horrible red.

Saotome frowned at him for a second, before giving him a compassionate look. "Don't worry about it. I know what it's like when someone comes and steals all your clothes and replaces them with girl's things," she said, indicating what she was wearing.

He studied her, taking in the mint-green pedal-pushers and short-sleeved white blouse… definitely not normal Saotome clothes.

She must have noticed him looking because she sighed, scratched the back of her head and said "it's a long story… a long story that I suppose you'll have to know if you're living here. It's… my dad made this promise to my mum, years ago, that I would become _'a man amongst men'_ and then he left with me on a training trip… a training trip that lasted _years_. The end result of which was that I ended up falling into the 'spring of drowned girl'… which makes it hard to be a man amongst men.

Anyway, after the whole Jusenkyo thing we came here to Nerima, and a while ago my mum showed up looking for me and the old man. Not actually wanting to die I've been pretending to be Akane's cousin Ranko Tendou.

Which was ok, except there was an accident and part of my mother's house was destroyed by a truck, so she's now staying here. So now I'm stuck as Ranko all the time and she's taken it into her head to make me more _feminine_ or something…"

He winced, he felt kind of sorry for Saotome.

Akane smiled at him and said, "You have to be careful to call Ranma 'Ranko' whenever Auntie Saotome is around; I know I can trust you with this Mousse."

He nodded his head, he would do as she asked, he didn't want to make her angry… his very wellbeing was highly dependant on her moods.

She smiled when he nodded and stood up and walked to her wardrobe. As she opened the doors and started to rearrange things, Saotome turned to him and asked, "You ok?"

Was he supposed to answer?

He still couldn't find his voice so he shrugged his shoulders.

Saotome frowned at him and opened her mouth… however whatever she'd been about to say was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Akane its Auntie Saotome, Kasumi said you were up here."

Saotome and Akane stared at each other for a moment with equal looks of dread before Akane took a deep breath, gulped and called out "Yes Auntie Saotome."

The door opened, revealing the woman he'd encountered with Kiyoshi earlier outside in the street. She frowned when she saw them, her eyes taking in the three of them as well as the futon and his clothes…

"Akane… Akane what's going on?" she asked, her face taking on an almost frozen cast.

Akane flinched, but walked towards the woman with a determined expression. "Auntie Saotome… I… I am not going to be marrying Ranma," she said, meeting the woman's eyes.

He felt Saotome go completely tense next to him, and when he looked at her Saotome's face was frozen in a pained grimace.

The woman looked completely shocked; she staggered back a couple of steps and her hands clasped together at her throat. "What?! Akane what are you saying? How… how can you… ?" she whimpered, shaking her head.

Akane seemed to gather herself for a minute before opening her mouth and carefully saying "Ranma and I… we make better friends than lovers… but, more than that, I have responsibilities now."

She walked over to him and gently pulled him to his feet; he reluctantly went along with her and soon found himself presented to the woman.

"This is Mousse. Due to an entirely unforseen and mildly ridiculous set of circumstances he now belongs to me. He's an Amazon; they are a female dominated society and they have… _strange_… customs. So he is my responsibility. Ranma can… Ranma can take care of himself, he doesn't _need_ me. And we'd make each other miserable," she said, almost tripping over her words.

The woman looked flabbergasted… she stumbled backwards a little more and turned around to leave. "I need to think about this Akane," she muttered as she walked towards the stairs.

Saotome and Akane gave each other a pained look, Akane shook her head and went back to putting his clothes away.

Saotome sighed and scratched her head. "I'll go and see if she's ok," she said, turning to leave before Akane responded.

He felt some what superfluous…

He stood there and watched Akane as she put things away, he was thinking about maybe remaking the futon so it wasn't such a mess when an outraged cry rang out.

"Where has the cake gone?!"

The people in this house were kind of weird.

000

(_Kasumi's POV_)

What was she supposed to do? Money didn't grow on trees.

They were ok when it was just her sisters, father and herself… they could even get by with the added burden of Ranma and Uncle Saotome… but _now_.

On an average day she was having to feed her family, Ranma's family, Happosai, the Kurosawa brothers… and now Mousse.

That was _eleven_ people.

They didn't have the money for this. They just didn't.

Especially considering the appetite of some of the people involved…

She had to go shopping again. She didn't have enough food for dinner, let alone tomorrow's breakfast…

What was she going to do? The way things were going she'd have to start charging rent. There wasn't really any other option…

Only the neither Ranma nor his father had a job… she'd feel guilty asking money off Auntie Saotome, Mousse had _nothing_ that didn't belong to Akane, and the Kurosawa's weren't exactly staying with them even if they were eating their food…

It was…

She had to go shopping. Now was the perfect time as well… Auntie Saotome had returned and she didn't quite feel up to the drama that would erupt when the woman found out about Mousse.

She gathered her things and made her way quietly out of the house.

She found Ryu smoking in the street outside of the Dojou; his face was cold and closed off… he didn't look like the Ryu she was used to.

He frowned when he first caught sight of her, but his face soon smoothed over into the slightly lecherous expression she was used to.

"Where're you going?" he asked, smirking at her.

She rolled her eyes at him, "shopping. We don't have enough food to feed all of you."

He shrugged, "you're not going to stick around and wait for things to explode?"

"I've seen enough explosions in my day," she sighed.

"Alright. I'll come with you," he said.

She looked at him with disbelief, "Why?" she asked.

He shrugged, "I'm bored."

She shook her head and started to walk, saying nothing else. He sauntered after her, still puffing on his cigarette.

It was kind of strange… walking with him. They had never really spoken and he was, to be honest, something of a pervert.

He was also a she. Sort of. Only her mind had trouble seeing him as anything other than obnoxiously male.

Which he was proving if the looks he was giving any remotely attractive woman that they passed were anything to go by. She couldn't understand it. How could anyone live like that?

It seemed, in some ways, terribly lonely.

He was a handsome devil though. Very handsome. Not the sort she let herself be attracted to these days though. Boys like him were trouble.

She noticed that she was getting some envious looks from some of the sillier looking women… she almost laughed. It was ridiculous.

A voice she hadn't heard in years suddenly called out to her "Kasumi…?"

She spun around.

No. No it _couldn't be._

It was.

000


	22. Stupid Things We Say and Do

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 22: Stupid Things We Say and Do.

Rating: Teenish

Disclaimer: Everything you should ever expect from a disclaimer has just been beamed into your brain by our systems… please do not panic.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

Yay writer's block! Oh how you love to kick my ass…

I must apologise but I have _no idea_ when the next part will be out…

I need to work out where this is going _exactly_ as I passed the point to which I had plotted out in my head several chapters ago…

Also studying (which I hate), and evil Heroes related plot bunnies of DOOM that just wouldn't leave me alone…

So… a mini hiatus, if it starts dragging towards the two month mark I will force out the next chapter, you have my word.

Yes I know: I suck.

Sorry.

Erm… furthermore, if it takes ages for me to get back to you if you review then it's just because I'm kinda, a little, distracted at times.

Also! I'm thinking of loosing some of the overly long Author's Notes of DOOM that appear below this, so remember them well, they will not be here next time.

_**Things That Might Make You Want to Jump Ship:**_

I don't like Shampoo, so she's not going to come off that well here. Shampoo's always come off way too narcissistic for my tastes. If you like Shampoo you may want to jump ship now.

Ryouga. I don't always like him either, so he's gonna have a few bad things happen. Bwa Ha Ha Ha.

Akane/Mousse. Well, Akane's going to be wearing the trousers in that relationship… so if you have a problem with that…

The story will be neither shounen ai nor het. I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his _entire_ self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate.

_**  
**_Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is _always_ subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Yes I know that what Aiko is planning to do is pretty much as bad as what Ranma's other fiancées do. See above.

_**THANK YOU FOR READING. THANK YOU IF YOU REVIEW, OR HAVE REVIEWED. JUST THANK YOU.**_

000

(_Nodoka's POV_)

Oh dear… oh dear, oh dear.

What was wrong with the girl?

Why?

Her poor son, her poor Ranma… he would be heart-broken when he found out. To be betrayed by his fiancée for a boy who dressed like a girl. How humiliating.

She needed to think… she needed something to help her think.

The cake.

She would have a slice of the cake… it was a little indulgent, but she needed something to take her mind off it.

She stumbled to the kitchen and opened the fridge door…

Where was it?

"Where has the cake gone?!"

She was vaguely aware that she may have just shrieked.

Oh, what did it matter?

She sighed and hung her head… she would… she didn't know what she'd do.

No idea.

There were two other Tendou sisters though; she supposed that Ranma would have to switch his engagement to one of them.

She didn't want Nabiki as a daughter in law. No. That girl was…

Trouble. She was trouble.

So that left Kasumi.

She sighed again. Kasumi was alright… probably a better match for the son she imagined she had than Akane anyway.

"A… Auntie Saotome? Are you alright?" came Ranko's trembling voice.

"Ranko? Ranko why would Akane…? I just don't understand it," she asked, hoping that Ranko would have some answer.

Ranko seemed… she wasn't sure exactly what it was… but Ranko was fidgeting and biting her lip whilst studying her feet…

She frowned at the girl, "Ranko?"

Ranko winced… she could see the corner of the girl's eye twitching… what was going on?

"A… Auntie Saotome… there's something… something we haven't… It's about Ranma…" Ranko muttered, stumbling over her words.

She smiled at the girl, even though it felt more like a grimace, she had to be encouraging. "What is it Ranko? You can tell me anything."

Ranko squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath… when she opened them again Nodoka could see determination shining in their depths.

Ranko raised her head and declared "Ranma is… he's just _too_ _manly_ for only one woman. Akane knows that. He hasn't always treated her well… and there are other…" she paused, taking another deep breath, "he has other women. Akane _deserves better_."

Oh…

Oh… it made _so_ much sense.

Oh what a _manly_ son she had…

No wonder… Akane must have been so ashamed. How could she blame the girl… to live like that, always being second best, how painful.

"Oh Ranko… I understand. I'll have to tell Akane that I understand… she's a young woman; it wouldn't be fair to expect her to remain with a man that doesn't love her." she said, smiling as Ranko relaxed a little… the girl was so sweet, worrying about her friend.

She shrugged, "Anyway, I have been thinking about it and I have decided that Kasumi would probably be a better match for Ranma… I'll just have to make sure that Ranma knows the correct way to treat a woman before they get married."

Ranko made a strange choking noise and began to shake her head, "wouldn't it be better to let Ranma choose who he marries?" the girl asked.

She frowned at the girl, "Why? Genma has always insisted that Ranma has to marry the daughter of Soun Tendou. It will make him happy… I want him to be happy… and Kasumi is a kind and gentle woman, any man should be happy with a wife like that."

Ranko looked away and bit her lip, "But what about Kasumi… do you think she'd be happy with a husband like… like Ranma."

Why was Ranko being so insistent? What if… no, no the girl couldn't…

"Ranko… you and Ranma… you're not… _involved_… or anything, are you?" she needed to know. She wouldn't be happy if they were.

Ranko blinked at her stupidly for a second before spluttering, "What! _No_! No, I'm just… I've sort of known him for a while and I don't want him to be unhappy."

Oh… Ranko was such a sweet girl. She was… Nodoka was really glad that she'd had a chance to get to know her.

Giving in to her sudden impulse she reached out and pulled Ranko into a tight hug.

Ranko squeaked and flailed her arms before going completely still. Completely, awkwardly still… like someone who was rarely if ever hugged.

How sad… how appallingly sad. The more she learned about Ranko…

The more it was obvious that Ranko needed someone to care for her, to teach her how to be a girl, to be kind to her…

Ranko needed kindness.

Ranko probably also needed her to let go now.

Sheepishly she released the girl… who looked rather startled… and gave her an embarrassed smile. "Ranko… I went home and got some of my recipe books… I was going to teach you girls how to bake a sponge cake, but I'll have to wait until Kasumi comes back. How about… while we're waiting… we have a look at some of the books. Together. You can tell me if there is anything you would like to learn how to make."

Ranko frowned at her for a minute and seemed to be almost… weighing her options?... before giving her a slightly uneasy smile and saying, "That would be great, Auntie Saotome."

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

Kasumi had frozen, staring at the man who had called out to her.

Who was he?

He didn't look anything special; average height, average build… handsome, yeah, in an average kind of way… _nothing special_.

The sort of nothing special that tried really hard to be otherwise.

The man was smiling at Kasumi… a sort of greedy covetous smile… he didn't like smiles like that. That wasn't how you got a girl… you always had to remember that they could think for themselves.

The man gave what he must have thought to be a totally sincere look and said "Kasumi… it's been… I've missed you."

Kasumi just stared at him before her expression slowly turned icy cold and she turned away from the man with icy precision and began to walk away. Ryu shrugged and began to follow her.

"Kasumi! Kasumi stop! I _was talking to you_." The man yelled, running to catch up with them and then reaching out and grabbing Kasumi's arm.

Kasumi yelped, and started to try and tug her arm free.

"Hey!" he snapped, "Don't put your hands where they aren't wanted." He grabbed the man and squeezed his wrist until he let go of her.

"What do you think you're doing?!" shrieked the man, rubbing his wrist.

He puffed himself up and got right up in the man's face, "What do you think _you're_ doing?"

"What's it to you?" snapped the man, who had puffed himself up and was trying to look intimidating. It wasn't working.

He'd faced down Kiyoshi in a rage… this puffed up little idiot was hardly comparable.

He smirked and let his body relax into a perfectly relaxed, obnoxiously-superior pose and said "Nothing really… I just don't like you."

The man was about to retort when the sound of a throat being cleared drew their attention to Kasumi. She did not look impressed.

"Ryu stop acting like a child… and _you_… I told you back when we broke up _leave me alone_." She snapped.

Broke up? This creature was her ex-boyfriend?... he really didn't look her type.

"Kasumi, _please_. I just want to talk to you." The man pleaded.

She didn't listen to him and started to walk away.

The man's face contorted into an ugly expression. "Why do you always have to be like this?!" he snarled, reaching out to grab her again.

It was strange… she moved fast, not as fast as Ranma, but fast… before the man could touch her she grabbed him and twisted his arm in a way that looked incredibly uncomfortable.

She looked calm… and cold, very cold. "Don't touch me. Don't _ever_ touch me. Not again," she said, her voice like ice.

Wow… he hadn't expected this of her… He'd been expecting that he would have to do something to get rid of the idiot…

Fiery women were…

Yes. Well… Kasumi wasn't his type, and he was still confused about the whole Ranma/Kana thing…

She released the man, who looked flabbergasted, whirled around and marched off.

Ryu stared at her for a moment before hurrying after her. When he caught up to her he glanced over his shoulder to find the man still standing there, staring after them.

Kasumi looked unhappy… _angry_… he wondered what that man had done to her… he knew what a bad break up was like.

Kasumi kept marching along and he kept following her until she stopped suddenly. He kept going for a couple of steps until it finally registered with him that she'd stopped. Turning back to look at her he found that she looked like she was going to cry… and incredibly angry about it.

"I don't… I just… I…"she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut, "I just don't _want_. I'm sick of it. Why is it always me?… Why does everyone always walk all over me? Why do I always have to be the responsible one? Can't I ever… I just want a break. Just for a little while…"

He studied her for a moment… she looked so unhappy… so very unhappy. "Well… if you want a break, why don't you take one?"

She frowned at him but her mind seemed to be elsewhere. "If I did… how would they cope? What would they do?"

Was she serious?

"Your father, the panda, Nodoka… they're adults. They can take care of themselves; they can take care of everyone else as well," he said. Which was an absolute truth that they needed to learn.

"I suppose… yes. Of course they can." She murmured.

He smirked at her, "Well then… what do you want to do?"

"You mean… you and me? Doing something together?" she gave him an incredulous look.

He raised his eyebrow, "Why not?"

"Alright… I guess," she replied.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "so… what do you want to do?"

000

(_Nabiki's POV_)

Watching Ranma sacrifice his pride was never going to stop being funny. Never.

"Ah… Ranko. This cake is so _cute_. Look, look… it's a mouse. Cute."

Ranma was going to blow a blood vessel the way this was going... So funny.

Genma was sitting in the corner and growling… poor thing, but that's what happens if you refuse to take responsibility for you own actions… your wife ends up trying to feminize your son.

Or something.

Oh well…

As she didn't want to get stuck helping Auntie Saotome and Ranma find the cutest cake in Auntie Saotome's large collection of overly pink recipe books… and she'd already been asked her opinion three times now… it was probably time for her to leave.

"Oh Nabiki, isn't this just _gorgeous_. Look at the tiny, little crystallized violets."

Definitely time for her to leave.

Glancing at the book Auntie Saotome was holding up she smiled and said, "Yes Auntie Saotome… it's very pretty. I'm sorry but I just remembered that I'm supposed to go over and see a friend."

Auntie Saotome frowned at her, "But Nabiki, I thought I could teach you girls how to bake later."

"I'm really sorry Auntie Saotome, but I did promise. Maybe another day." Over her dead body.

Auntie Saotome smiled at her "All right… have fun"

She gave Auntie Saotome an insincere smile which turned to darkly amused as she sarcastically waved goodbye to Ranma. Stepping over Kiyoshi, who was lounging around like some large cat-thing, and smirking at Genma she made her way to door.

She really, probably should go see Tatewaki… she had a few new pictures, he was always good for a laugh, and she probably needed to start work if she wanted to marry him.

_A flash of dark eyes and a pretty smile_.

Yes. She was going to marry him. Whether or not she wanted to.

She knew the state of his finances… he was never going to be poor. He could make all the bad decisions in the world and he'd still be rolling in it…

Money warmed her blood in ways no man ever had.

_Gentle hands helping her up after she'd fallen over._

No.

_NO_.

So, yes… she needed to act fast before someone decided that she had to marry Ranma. She knew Akane well enough to know that this Mousse thing would ensure that Ranma would end up in need of a new Tendou fiancée. It would be Kasumi. Ranma was a dead-end street… he was essentially useless.

What skills did he have?

What education did he have?

What ambition did he have?

She wasn't going to end up poor. No. No she wasn't… life after her mother's death had taught her well enough.

She knew that some people thought she was cold… which she was… but she was cold in order to survive. She was always going to survive… she was always going to be comfortable, never hungry, never cold… always a roof over her head.

Always.

She was a little sorry that Kasumi had ended up bearing the brunt of their father's useless apathy… but she was not the self-sacrificing type. She gave her sister ten percent of her earnings, that was _more_ than enough.

She had her own ambitions… oh yes. Nerima was surprisingly lacking in an organised criminal element.

There were some thugs… but nothing _smart_. She was smart…

Her little business was growing by the day… her empire now included photos, pornography, information, intimidation, protection money, loan sharking, extortion, and a lot of pathetic little _boys_ who owed her a lot of little favours…

Not that she let her family see the full extent of what she did… few people actually knew.

Yes. She was smart…

And _rich_. Which was something she needed to remain…

After she'd seen Tatewaki she should probably go back to her efforts to recruit the next generation… the ones that would operate at Furinkan High when she graduated.

She had a few people in mind… she needed girls to deal with the photos and porn… the boys that worked for her were entirely too likely to steal it for their own uses…

Well aside from Ranma's friend Hiroshi… she knew his secret, oh yes she did.

Maybe she should branch out into photographs of Ranma's male side and the various other half-dressed boys that floated in and out of her home…

She could sell them to the girls… and a select few of the boys…

The only problem with that plan was she'd need to find someone to act as her go-between with the girls. Most of the girls really didn't like her.

_Gentle laughter, those dark, dark eyes… such soft hands._

Most of them… no, best not to think about it.

She was a threat. She seduced boyfriends, she sold said boyfriends wicked, wicked things, she recruited said boyfriends to do her dirty work, she loaned money to said boyfriends at fifty percent interest… in short, she got on better with the boys.

She probably, actually needed someone to take over the whole female side of her operation… they were a great revenue source, a great revenue source she couldn't fully exploit.

It was a plan… one she'd need to fully flesh out, but a good plan. It would be a _great _plan. She was good at plans.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

Mousse had remade the futon… she'd just left the room to go to the bathroom and when she'd returned he'd looked up guiltily at her from where he'd been smoothing down the covers.

He'd done a good job; it was, if possible, neater than how Kasumi usually did it.

She really was sorry he'd gotten stuck with the pink sheets and overly floral duvet cover… as well as miss-matched pillow-cases. They were currently having something of a bedding crisis.

She had this moment… looking down on him as he looked up at her… when her mind just started to shriek.

_What the fuck was she doing?_

She was sixteen… way too young for this kind of responsibility… way too young to be the head of her family… way too young to have a (strangely pretty) young man as her dependant…

She felt herself go light-headed… she was fairly sure she was either going to faint or scream…

"Akane?" Mousse sounded so frightened…

She snapped out of her freak-out and gave him a shaky smile. She let herself sink down to the floor next to him with a sigh.

She looked at him… he was hers, what a strange thought…

She knew they couldn't remain hiding in her room all day… but just a _little_ bit longer.

Just a little bit longer.

000

(_Ranma's POV – he's in female form unless I say otherwise_)

Gah… his pride hurt. Oh it did.

He hated it when people misunderstood him, and there he went making sure his mother bought into one of the misunderstandings he hated the most.

And then she suggested he was involved with himself…

Ok. Fine. He was fine…

What did it matter what his mother thought of him?

What… at all… Ok. He was freaking out, just a little bit.

Perhaps.

He was looking at cakes. Fun. Yes…

Ok, to be honest, he liked food… and sweet things especially… and the idea of being able to produce sweet things to eat at any time he wanted them was kind of… tempting.

But still… he wasn't actually a girl, and looking at cakes seemed very _girly_.

He'd seen this tasty looking chocolate-cream filled thing that looked very tasty… anyway.

No. No fantasizing about baking. No. No indeed. Definitely not.

Maybe she could teach him how to make it. He'd only bake it _once_… it wouldn't be to girly if he only did it once…

No.

Bad Ranma…

His mother was cooing at some horrible pink confection…

Maybe he could escape?

"Oh Ranko isn't this just _so_ cute," his mother said, showing him a picture of a cake decorated with what looked like an entire flower garden made out of icing, "I really feel like doing some baking now. I did promise that I'd teach Kasumi how to make a sponge cake, but I don't know when she'll be getting back… I suppose I can always teach her another day. How about we make a cake, just you and me… I don't really feel like dealing with Akane just now."

Er…

"Er…"

"Come on Ranko… it'll be fun," she said.

"Er… I suppose so," he didn't think this was a good idea, no, no way.

She got up to return to the kitchen, gathering up her recipe books, he lent her a hand with the books, there were quite a few of them…

Following her out of the room he gave a final uncomfortable glance to his father (who seemed to be having some sort of fit) and Kiyoshi (who had fallen asleep in the sun).

Ok… he was baking. He was going to bake…

His manliness was just shrivelling up these days wasn't it?

000

(_Ryu's POV – later that night_)

She could really…

Really, really, really really _really_ hold her liquor…

Oh yes she could.

Yes… yes, yes…

He might have been, just a _little_, drunk…

They both might have been…

Yes, yes, yes…

Turned out, it did, that her twentieth birthday had been almost two weeks ago.

_Two weeks ago_ and she'd acted like she hadn't even remembered it when it happened…

So… drinking. Legal drinking.

They were legally drunk… they were also about to do something legally stupid.

Yes indeed…

He really should stop them…

She wasn't his type…

However he didn't seem to be able to convince his evil, wicked, obnoxious…

…

…

Wait what was he thinking?

Ah _yes_… his _body_…

His body didn't seem to want him to get her tongue out of his mouth…

No, no sir. No indeed. Not at all…

And the thing was… he was kinda feeling a little overwhelmed, because she was the one initiating…

Really truly initiating.

He felt very initiated…

She'd even gotten them a room… at a hotel… thankfully not a _love hotel_ but still…

This wasn't what he'd expected from her… not at all…

Oh but it was fun…

000

"So you'll have it delivered by next Thursday?"

"…"

"Good… very good."

000


	23. Baking with Nodoka

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 23:

Rating: Teenish

Disclaimer: Everything you should ever expect from a disclaimer has just been beamed into your brain by our systems… please do not panic.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

Yay, got it written.

Er…

WARNING: contains _graphic _baking. For at least six pages. I'm sorry…

I'm thinking of changing the title, as it has sort of out grown it; tell me if you think I should.

Note: Nodoka is a very pedantic cake maker. I tend to come from the school of 'it'll all turn out alright, don't worry' baking, but I didn't think that Nodoka would be like that.

The cake recipe in this chapter comes from a book called _'Cakes Men Like_' which is a sort of tongue-in-cheek collection of recipes from the 30s, 40s and 50s. My mum bought it as a gag-gift for one of her friends (a lesbian separatist) but chickened out before giving it to her.

I thought it was the perfect sort of book in which to find a recipe for _Nodoka_ to teach someone. Note: I have never actually made this cake, and the recipe calls for pineapple filling… I do not like pineapples.

_**I am very sorry if you reviewed and I haven't gotten back to you. It's not that I don't appreciate it; it's just that my health had not been so good and I've had work for Uni that needed doing so I got a little distracted and sort of wonder if it's appropriate to reply after so long.**_

_**Sorry.**_

_**Also, thank you all for reading.**_

000

(_Nodoka's POV_)

Cake flour, eggs, baking powder, salt, butter, sugar, milk, vanilla essence, mixing bowls, sifter, measuring cups, cake-tins, kitchen scales, cake racks, spatulas, an electric whisk…

Ranko's eyes seemed as large as her head... It was obvious that this was the first time she'd ever baked anything, but Nodoka wasn't worried; Ranko had potential in the kitchen, she'd seen that the last time when she'd been trying to teach Akane to cook…

She also looked so _cute_ in the pink frilly apron.

She'd decided that she'd let Ranko do most of the work, though she'd give the girl instructions and step in if she was having trouble.

She could remember the feeling of the first time she'd successfully baked a cake; that pride, that happiness… it was something she wanted Ranko to experience herself.

So… it was best to start simple. Nothing fancy. A simple Yellow-Cake would be best, and she had the perfect recipe tucked away inside her mind…

"Ranko, I know you might be nervous but I think you can do this. I will tell you what to do and if you really aren't sure I'll take over for you… but it's really pretty easy."

Ranko bit her lip and frowned at the ingredients, "Ok Auntie Saotome… Um…"

She smiled at the girl "I thought you could make a layered Yellow Cake and we'll put something nice in the middle… maybe spread the cake with marmalade while it is still hot and then spread it with some sort of chocolate filling…Anyway; to start with pre-heat the oven to 190c. (375 f.)… here let me show you how." She walked over to the oven and turned it on with Ranko watching her curiously.

"So we need two 23cm (9") cake tins" she said showing the tins to the girl. "We need to grease them, which means coating the inside surface with butter, and then I find it works best if we dust them with a little flour. I like to grease my cake-tins before I begin the batter to get it out of the way."

Ranko took one of the tins and the piece of butter and baking-paper that Nodoka gave her and began to rub it into the surface. The girl's face was scrunched up in concentration and she kept looking to Nodoka for approval… Ranko was doing fine, but to decrease the amount of time it would take she took the other tin and began to work with fluid efficiency.

When the tins were evenly buttered she opened the flour and lightly dusted the interior of her pan, shaking out the excess into the sink. Ranko hesitantly followed suit and they had two perfectly prepared cake-tins.

"Now we need to sift the flour to get out any lumps. It's you have to sift before measuring the required amount if the recipe calls for cups, which this one does, however if the recipe calls for grams then you can just weigh it on the scale. Although I tend to sift first anyway… So… Sift some flour into this bowl," she said, handing Ranko a bowl, the flour and the sifter.

Ranko hesitantly poured some flour into the top of the sifter and stood there, holding the metal cup over the mixing bowl. Nodoka realised that she didn't know what to do next so she showed the girl how to use the sifter. Ranko blushed but determinedly began to sift the flour.

When it looked as though she had sifted enough Nodoka stopped her and showed the girl the measuring cup "This is an American or UK cooking cup size. It is not a metric one. I am glad that Kasumi has this; it makes this recipe easier, as it was originally American… _I think_. The mother of one of my friends taught it to me... such a long time ago… Anyway, there is a difference between the size of a metric cup and this one… so if you are going to be cooking a lot of American recipes having one of these is useful…" she may have been getting off track, she didn't even know if Ranko liked baking.

Getting back to the point she said, "Carefully spoon flour into the cup until it reaches the top, being careful not to knock it or you will compact the flour." the girl did what was asked, frowning and with her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth, "now level it off with a knife," she took out a butter knife and showed the girl what to do.

"Ok… tip the flour into this mixing bowl," she gave the girl a bowl, "and measure out another two cups. This recipe calls for three cups of flour altogether." She smiled as the girl carefully did what she was told… Ranko was such a good student.

When Ranko had measured out the flour and was smiling up at her with proud expectation she handed Ranko the baking powder, the salt, and the smaller measuring spoons. "Measure four teaspoons of baking powder and a quarter teaspoon of salt into the flour, being careful to level them off with the knife." Ranko studied the measuring spoons for a second before choosing the teaspoon one and picking up the baking powder.

Ranko was proving to be just as good at baking as Nodoka had suspected she would be… the only thing was that Ranko wasn't saying anything, just doing what she was told. Nodoka hoped the girl was alright.

When Ranko had completed that task, she gave the girl an encouraging smile and said, "You are going very well. Now you need to sift the flour, baking powder and salt mixture three times; which means first put the flour we haven't used back into its container and sift the mixture into that bowl and then sift it back into this bowl and then back into the first bowl. Do you have any questions?"

Ranko bit her lip and looked away, "Um… why do we have to sift it so much?"

She felt a little thrill of excitement. Ranko was getting interested. Ranko was getting involved. It felt good… "Firstly, sifting breaks up any lumps in the flour, salt, or baking powder; it also aerates the mixture and enables the salt and baking powder to mix evenly through the flour."

"Oh… Ok." Ranko mumbled as she began to sift.

As she watched the girl work Nodoka let her mind wander. She thought back to how it had been when she had first married Genma, remembering all the little things she had needed to learn.

How to cook, and mend, and clean, and launder…

All those things she hadn't had to do for herself when she had lived with her parents. Of course they had had other people to do such things for them…

She could remember kneeling on the floor and crying when she couldn't work out how to use the vacuum-cleaner…

It had been a strange new world…

It would never happen to Ranko though. She'd make sure of it. If there was anything Ranko needed to know about being a wife her '_Auntie Saotome'_ would be there to lend a helping hand…

Wait…

Ranko had no female modelling, or even a female presence to teach her things…

Did that mean that no one had ever talked to Ranko about what it meant to be a girl… _biologically_… or even how _relations_ worked between a male and a female?

It was a terrible thought.

Naïveté never did any girl any good… and neither did misinformation. She herself knew that far too well.

Maybe she'd have to take Ranko aside at some point in the future, and give her some advice as well as listen to any questions the girl had.

That would probably be a good idea.

"I'm done Auntie Saotome." Ranko called, drawing her attention back to the present.

"Ok, put that bowl to the side and get the largest mixing bowl, the kitchen scales, and the butter," she waited until Ranko had done as she was asked. "Ok… the recipe calls for a cup of butter… a cup of butter is 227 grams and it is easier to just weigh it than to try and pack it into the cup. So weigh the butter and add more or take some away until you have the correct amount."

Ranko grabbed the scales and frowned at them for a minute – working out how they functioned. The girl nodded her head decisively and picked up the butter, carefully setting it on the tray of the scales. She carefully took the reading and sliced a piece off the other block of butter and dropped it onto the scales; she examined the reading again and nodded with satisfaction.

Ranko looked at her expectantly, "Now that you've done that, cut the butter up into two centimetre cubes and place it into the mixing bowl. Then plug in the electric whisk and begin to cream the butter… which means mixing the butter on a low speed setting until the butter is light and fluffy and has changed colour to a light ivory. The butter is still a little hard from the fridge, so you will have to stop the whisk every now and then to remove to butter clogging it."

Ranko nodded and got a small, sharp knife out of the drawer and began to dice the butter into the mixing bowl. Nodoka watched in awe as the girl worked with quick, efficient, confidence. Ranko was very quick with a knife.

When the butter had been diced Ranko picked up the electric whisk. The girl frowned at it for a minute before slotting the beater attachments into their place and plugging it in. As Ranko worked Nodoka found her mind wandering again…

She could see Ranko in a couple of years time; a new bride, happily married to Kiyoshi…

_You see a house… an incredibly 50s 'white-picket-fence' house._

_It is daytime and there are butterflies fluttering in the garden, birds singing in the trees and the sound of children's laughter._

_Inside the house, in the kitchen, is Ranma (in female form of course). 'She' is wearing a 50s style dress in a soft violet, and a white frilly apron. 'She' is also obviously pregnant._

_Ranma is in the final stages of baking a cake… she is humming to herself as she spreads some sort of peach-coloured filling in between two layers of chocolate sponge-cake._

_Kiyoshi (wearing a 50s style suit) appears behind her with a pleased smile. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her against his chest. She smiles up at him with a sweet smile and he ducks his head to give her a kiss…_

Ranko's voice brought her out of her daydream, "Auntie Saotome, I think it's done."

She looked over into the mixing bowl and found perfectly creamed butter. She was a little surprised to be honest… her first attempt at baking hadn't turned out anywhere near as well. She turned to Ranko, "it's looking good… now measure out two cups of sugar and gradually pour it into the butter while you are still creaming it. When that is done it is time to add the eggs."

She watched Ranko as the girl studiously worked. She seemed to be becoming more and more confidant… Oh! She should get Ranko a set of beginners cooking books, that would be something nice… she could go tomorrow.

When the sugar was creamed together with the butter she picked up the egg carton and handed it to Ranko, "Ok, we need four eggs. We will be adding the eggs one at a time, so crack one of the eggs into the bowl… be careful not to get any shell in the mixture…" Ranko cracked the egg into a perfect half and elegantly tipped it into the bowl, "Now beat the mixture with the whisk until the egg is thoroughly combined."

"Good… that's looking very good Ranko… Ok, do the same for the other three eggs."

Ranko nodded and did what she was asked. Yes… Ranko would make a fine wife some day, and this had given her an idea.

Ranko probably needed complete cooking lessons, Nodoka knew that the girl _could_ cook when she was instructed, but it would be so much better if Ranko had complete confidence in the kitchen, and it would help Ranko to get in touch with her feminine side…

Ranko was looking at her expectantly again… she really needed to stop her mind from wandering off. "Now we're going to be adding the flour and milk. Spoon a little bit of the flour mixture into the bowl and beat it in with the whisk."

Ranko looked very cute… she could just imagine what Kiyoshi would think if he could see her. She wondered where Kiyoshi was, and if he was still snoozing in the dining-room.

When the flour had been worked into the batter she said "Ok, good… now measure out a cup of milk and pour a little into the batter and mix it in well. Once you've done that add a little more flour and mix it in and then a little more milk and so on… until everything is combined."

She admired the grace with which Ranko worked; now that Ranko was becoming more at ease with what she was doing Nodoka could see that the girl really was a natural cook.

"Oh Ranko… it looks so good, much better than my first attempt at baking… the only thing we have left to do before we pour the batter into the cake-tins is add the vanilla-essence. So measure 2 teaspoons of vanilla into the batter and mix it in."

When Ranko opened the little bottle of vanilla the scent wafted out… it brought back so many memories… the scent of vanilla always reminded her of when she'd first met Genma and her first attempts at baking. Vanilla biscuits. He'd always liked her vanilla biscuits…

"I… I think it's done Auntie Saotome."

There she went again, letting her mind wander off… "You're right Ranko, so… half the batter goes into each tin. Pour it out and scrape the last of it out with a spatula, and then we can put the cake in the oven."

In no time at all there were two perfectly evenly filled cake tins waiting to go into the oven. Ranko carefully picked them up and walked towards the oven; the girl paused and looked over to her as if to ask if she was doing the right thing. Nodoka nodded at her and Ranko carefully balanced them both on one arm (the girl was incredibly dexterous), opened the oven door and carefully slid them onto the oven trays.

Ranko looked… almost _defiantly_ proud. She wondered what the girl was defying… or if she was reading too much into it.

"What do we do now Auntie Saotome?" asked Ranko.

She smiled at the girl "The cakes will take twenty-five to thirty minutes to cook, and then it has to cool. We might as well start getting the filling ready. I saw a jar of marmalade in the cupboard earlier so we don't have to worry about that, but I didn't see any chocolate and I was thinking of a whipped ganache filling… I suppose I will have to go and get some."

Ranko's eyes widened "But… but… you're not going to leave me here alone with the cakes. What if something goes wrong?" she spluttered.

She gave the girl a soothing look, "It will be alright Ranko… I'll be back before we gave to take it them of the oven and if something happens and I'm _not_… then check on the cake after twenty-five minutes, if it looks cooked – if it's risen up and a golden-brown colour on top – then poke a skewer into the centre of it, if the skewer comes out clean without any cake batter on it then take the cakes out of the oven and put them, still in their pans, to rest on the cake racks for two to three minutes. After they have rested, carefully turn them out onto the racks and leave them to cool."

"A-Auntie Saotome…?" Ranko stammered.

"Don't worry Ranko, everything will be fine. Now I better get going." The girl was fidgeting and still didn't look convinced.

"It'll be fine, _you_ will be fine. I'll be back in no time." She headed to the dining room to fetch her purse. She wondered where Kiyoshi and Mr. Panda had gone… they seemed to have disappeared…

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

_They are at a festival; she is holding his hand, dragging him along from booth to booth. _

_Her red hair is up and the soft peach colour of her yukata contrasts beautifully with her skin._

_He can't stop staring at the nape of her neck._

_She is so beautiful… _

_**THWACK**_

Ow… what? Oh… he'd fallen asleep…

_**THWACK**_

Hey! What…

He reared up and lashed out before the next hit could land…

He felt a large, furry form go flying from his fist…

Shaking his head to clear it, his eyes darted around. He was in the dining room of the Tendou Dojou; Ranma, Nodoka and Nabiki were gone; the panda, Ranma's father, was sprawled a little way away looking startled…

Ah… Genma had been hitting him.

_Why had Genma been hitting him?_

He glared at the panda, making Genma flinch back before drawing himself up.

A sign appeared in the panda's paw onto which Genma began to frantically write…

Kiyoshi vaguely wondered where it had come from.

When the panda had finished writing he held up the sign, **"We are going to have a talk. You and me. Unfortunately I can't change back here, so you are just going to have to come with me."**

Ahh… Nodoka. Well…

"Why should I do that?"

The panda scowled at him **"Because if you don't I will ****make you****"**

He raised his eyebrow at the panda… he really didn't think that Genma was strong enough to make him do anything. However he suspected that Genma was going to become irritating if he didn't do what the panda asked…

And some small, stupid part of him was saying he should play nice with Ranma's parents. Just in case a miracle occurred and he somehow won Ranma's affection…

Yes. Of course… highly unlikely though it was.

Shrugging he sprang to his feet, looking down at Genma with expectation.

The panda snarled at him as he heaved himself to his feet.

They stood for a minute, staring each other down, before Genma stalked towards the door. He arched his brow and sauntered after Ranma's father.

Genma stalked out of the house and down the street. They walked in silence for a couple of blocks, eventually they found themselves standing in front of a café. Genma waved a sign saying **"Wait here"** at him and ducked into the café. A minute later he ducked out again in his human form.

Genma stomped over to him and got right up into his face. "You leave my son alone," the man snapped.

He was unimpressed.

Genma seemed to sense it so he drew himself up further, "I mean it! Ranma doesn't need you confusing him."

Foolish. Genma was foolish.

He smirked at the man, "I'm not doing anything to confuse Ranma. _If_ Ranma is confused then the blame lies more on your head that anyone else's."

Genma snarled at him and grabbed the front of his shirt, "Why you little…"

He wasn't about to let Genma manhandle him so he grabbed the other man's hand and _squeezed_. The only sound of discomfort Genma made was a grunt deep in his throat. Kiyoshi was mildly impressed… however not impressed enough.

He leant down towards the man letting his face fall into a darkly serious expression, "I mean it. You're a bad father. Don't try to protest, I knew you were before I even met you. What kind of man sells his child to get out of debt? Hmm? Really…?"

Genma spluttered a little but Kiyoshi could see he'd hit a nerve.

Pulling himself together the older man declared "You don't understand. How could you… you're just a kid."

He may be a kid but he'd seen things, experienced things… things that aged a person.

"I may be young but I have _eyes_. Ranma is… he is lost. He doesn't know himself; in many ways he's not even _real_. You've never let him grow up, never let him work out who he is. He's _trapped_ by you. You want him to be something completely unrealistic. What do you think a real man is? A real _woman_? Because your ideals seem to be… _unhealthy_… _And_ you've made it so he hates himself, _punishes_ himself, when he can't live up to your expectations." He may have been ranting, _just a little,_ it felt like… once he'd started he couldn't stop, and Genma was trying to interrupt. He just steamrolled over the other man. "You want Ranma to be a 'man amongst men'? _How can he_? Between having _you_ as his male role model and all the shit you've pumped into his head over the years…"

"Shut up! Just _shut up_!" Genma shouted, "It's none of your business."

"Hmm…" was it any of his business? He didn't know. He just wanted Ranma to be happy. "Look… I don't like you. You don't like me. However, for your peace of mind, you should know that I have no intention of forcing Ranma into anything. The same cannot be said for my mother or my brother… but that is… well, it's your problem. I'll stop Ryu from doing anything to Ranma, but you'll have to work something out with my mother. You got yourself, and Ranma, into this mess so it's your responsibility to get out of it."

Genma blinked at him; sort of like a stunned fish… there were people staring at them and he wasn't interested in continuing the confrontation so he took the opportunity to remove the other man's hand and leave.

He could hear Genma spluttering behind him but he ignored the man and set off for the Tendou Dojou…

000

(_Ranma's POV – female_)

Baking was… _strange_. He'd felt… it had been… as he'd started to get used to what he had to do he'd found himself increasingly… _proud_. Happy. He was good at it. Good at cooking.

Not just better than Akane; but really, honestly, _good_.

There were male chefs, weren't there? So… it wasn't like cooking was a strictly _female_ occupation… was it?

Because he'd actually enjoyed himself…

Though it was a little intimidating being left alone with the cakes in the oven. He was squatting in front of the oven watching them cook, just in case something went wrong.

A noise made him look up and he found Akane standing in the doorway frowning at him with puzzlement. He could see Mousse standing a little way behind her…

"What are you doing?" Akane asked.

Er… Akane tended to get upset whenever he cooked, mainly because he was so much better than her. It was one of her sore points… he was trying to be Akane's friend so he had to tred carefully.

He just hoped she wouldn't explode, "I'm waiting for these cakes to cook… Um… Auntie Sao... _my mother_… isn't angry at you about… _you_ _know_… but she does want me to marry Kasumi now," the thought made him shudder. "Um… she decided to teach me how to bake a cake… so…"

Akane raised her eyebrow at him and just shook her head.

Before either of them could say anything else the phone rang and Akane went to answer it.

He went back to watching the cakes but soon became aware that Mousse had drifted into the kitchen and was studying him.

He looked up at the other boy… Mousse looked tired. Weary. It must be so hard on him… To be so completely alone and isolated from everything you knew and in the power of someone who was little more than a stranger…

"How are you doing?" he asked, giving Mousse what he hoped was a reassuring smile and hoping he'd actually answer this time.

Mousse frowned at him and looked away, "Why do you care Sao- _Tendou_?"

Well at least Mousse remembered what he had to call him. "Look… we have to live in the same house. There's no reason for us to be enemies."

Mousse's mouth curled into a sour pinch, "I suppose not, now that you've won. Now that Xian Pu…"

He just had to interrupt him, "I don't want Shampoo. I've _never_ wanted Shampoo. I know you don't want to listen to me but I would have been perfectly happy if you'd ended up with her… _not that I think she would have done you any good_… but still… how about we call truce?"

Mousse studied him intently for a minute before nodding his head. "Truce."

_Yay_… one enemy down, that was something… wasn't it?

Akane returned to the room with a puzzled look on her face. "That was Kasumi… she said that she'll be late so we should work out dinner for ourselves. Ran-_ko_ do you know where Auntie Saotome is? Dad's still… you know… and I can't find your… _panda_ or Kiyoshi."

"She went to get some chocolate for the…" he waved his hand at the oven where the cakes were cooking.

"Oh… um… I suppose we'll just wait here until she gets back," she said. "So… baking?"

Um… "yeah. Baking. It's kind of fun," he said, hoping she wouldn't get upset.

She nodded and moved forward, peering into the oven at the cakes, "They look good."

She was complimenting him on his baking skills?

"Thanks. Um… how are you going with… with _everything_."

She gave him a pained smile, "Well Mousse's things are all put away."

Ah… well he didn't know what to say. They all sort fell into awkward silence and he really hoped that his mother would be back soon.

000

(_Nabiki's POV_)

Well that had been productive. She'd sold Tatewaki fifteen photos at her special price, as well as given him a couple subtle hints that she was, in fact, just as female as her younger sister.

She felt a little _disconcerted_… but it was for the best.

Now on to the park… she's been thinking, while she was with Tatewaki, that maybe she should recruit Hiroshi. He was male – thus the other boys would trust him, he was unlikely to steal any of the photos or pornography – because of his secret, and due to said secret she could blackmail him into doing what she wanted…

Yes… a good plan.

She knew that he tended to go to the park with his family on Saturday afternoons (families that actually did things together were _strange_) and there was the chance she's run into some of her other prospective recruits…also… she didn't really feel like going home just yet.

It was late afternoon now, the day was warm and there was a pleasant breeze coming from the west…

She walked through the park, letting her mind wander. She couldn't see Hiroshi, or his family, so maybe she would have to wait… it was nice though. Peaceful.

It would be alright, wouldn't it, if she just took some time off to relax?

A soccer ball bounced across the path just in front of her followed closely by a small child. She stepped back to avoid being knocked down.

"Akira! Be careful!" Oh…

Hitomi.

Hitomi Kido.

She turned her head towards the other girl. Hitomi was wearing a _dress._

"Nabiki I am so sorry" Hitomi called out, "Akira come back and apologise to Nabiki."

The little boy ran up with his arms around the soccer ball. He scowled up at her and stuck out his tongue.

"_Akira!_"

"Ok… _sorry_" the brat said, not at all looking it, before running off again.

Hitomi winced.

She reassured the other girl, "It's alright, honestly."

Hitomi smiled at her. _Thump._ Her heart felt like it had just missed a beat.

That was the problem, wasn't it? Hitomi was the problem.

She studied the other girl. Hitomi was… not beautiful and nothing particularly special… she was pretty enough, but kind of plain… but her _eyes_. Nabiki had never seen another person with such beautiful eyes. Ever.

They were… perfect. Not wide like Ranma's or Shampoo's (who were the prettiest girls she knew) but perfectly elongated-almond shaped, and exquisitely slanted. Her lashes long and sooty…

Hitomi was frowning at her with curiosity.

Er… "Is he your little brother?" she asked, pointing at Akira who was playing with a group of other small children

Hitomi smiled at her, "Yes. I am sorry about before, he's a bit of a brat."

She waved it off, "it's fine. So…?"

"How are you Nabiki? We haven't talked in… well, it's been a while." Hitomi said, looking away.

Of course not. None of Hitomi's friends even remotely tolerated her; they'd had great fun tormenting her when they were younger… no matter how often Hitomi tried to stop them (she was way too good for them)… and then there was the… _whatever it was_… that Hitomi made her feel.

But anyway, "I'm ok, life is… _interesting_," she replied.

Hitomi smiled at her, "it must be, living with Ranma."

"Well it's never boring." she said.

"I imagine not." Hitomi laughed.

When she laughed Hitomi's face lit up… and suddenly she wasn't plain at all.

How could no one else see it?

Because they _couldn't_. Hitomi was all but ignored by the boys at Furnikan. She was too quiet. Too easy to look over…

A sudden gust of wind whipped the skirt of Hitomi's floral-print dress around her knees. Nabiki noticed that she had very nice legs.

But the dress was strange. When Hitomi wasn't in uniform she was usually wearing jeans… she tended to dress like a tom-boy, like Akane did if you left her to her own devices.

Maybe she shouldn't say anything, but she was curious. "You look nice. I don't think I've ever seen you in a dress before."

Hitomi blushed, "I… My… my mother sent me this dress from France a couple of months ago and I haven't had a chance to wear it until today. Yuuka and Aoi tend to make fun of me if I dress like this, but they've gone to a hot-spring for the weekend so I knew I wouldn't run into them... You really think I look alright?"

Yuuka and Aoi were… irritating at best. When she'd been younger, before she had the power and status she had now, they had delighted in making her life a misery. That's when she'd first gotten to know Hitomi… Hitomi who would help her pick herself or her possessions up when they'd been knocked down, Hitomi who would defend her, and smile at her, and laugh with her… but they'd drifted apart, and these days neither Yuuka nor Aoi would risk her wrath. Not after she'd gotten her vengeance…

"Yes. You look good," she reassured Hitomi.

Hitomi gave her a sweet smile.

It was almost blissful. A lovely day, a pretty girl. No, no, no. She had to stop thinking like that. It would ruin all her plans.

But… maybe she could stay… just for a little while.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

It may have not been exactly _fair_ to use Ranma as some sort of spectator sport… but… she… _he_… was really quite impressive.

Auntie Saotome had returned and frowned when she'd been told that Kasumi wasn't returning. "Oh… I hope everything is Ok," she'd said with worried eyes.

She hoped everything was ok as well; it wasn't like Kasumi…

Anyway.

The cakes had come out of the oven looking perfect, golden-brown. Envy had flashed through her, but she'd made a decision, she was going to be Ranma's friend so attacking Ranma for something that wasn't his fault would be counter-productive. She just wished she could cook…

It had been surreal watching Ranma carefully turn the cakes out onto the cake racks… she… _he_… looked… _right_ doing it. She was trying to see him without the haze that had gotten in her way before, when they were supposed to get married…

Ranma was… a natural cook. Not everyone was… and she herself had other talents…

But…

Anyway.

Kiyoshi had turned up at some point, so they had all gathered around to watch Ranma work. It was funny but when Kiyoshi had entered the room Ranma had blushed and determinedly not looked at him…

She didn't even think Ranma was aware of it.

Auntie Saotome had directed Ranma to spread marmalade on the cakes while they were still warm, which Ranma had done with such elegance, and then Auntie Saotome had given Ranma a block of bitter cooking-chocolate and asked him to cut it up into small chips.

That was when everything had gotten very impressive.

The knife had been a blur in Ranma's hand and in less than a minute the whole block of chocolate was broken into little pieces. Even Auntie Saotome had been very impressed, and then she'd seen Kiyoshi's face…

He looked like… oh she couldn't describe it.

Auntie Saotome had directed Ranma to put the chocolate in a mixing bowl and then heat some thick pouring cream to boiling point and pour it onto the chocolate. When Ranma had done that, _perfectly_, Auntie Saotome had shown Ranma how to mix the cream in until all the chocolate was melted and he had a thick, delicious looking, creamy mix.

The ganache had been left to cool and then Auntie Saotome had directed Ranma to beat it with the electric whisk until it was fluffy.

Now Ranma was filling the cake. He'd placed one of the smaller cakes onto a nice serving plate, marmalade side up, and was spreading the fluffy ganache evenly over the surface.

She was still envious, particularly with the way Auntie Saotome was cooing over Ranma's baking ability. She'd never know that… that praise, that feeling…

Ranma carefully picked up the other cake and laid it over the ganache, marmalade side down, without even messing up the ganache or forcing it out of the cake a little.

How could he do that? She didn't even think _Kasumi_ could do that.

"Here Ranko… sift some cocoa over the cake," Auntie Saotome said.

Ranma took the cocoa and the (clean) sifter and dusted the surface of the cake with a fine chocolate layer.

Wow… it was a pretty cake.

"Umm… Auntie Saotome?" murmured Ranma.

"Yes Ranko?"

"There's… um… some sort of powdery sugar, isn't there?" that was a weird question.

Auntie Saotome frowned at Ranma, "Yes, icing sugar. Why?"

Ranma looked to the side and bit his lip, "I have… I have an idea." He looked at Nodoka with determination, "Wait here."

Ranma dashed out of the room, leaving them all looking at each other with puzzlement. In no time Ranma returned with a small piece of paper and a pair of scissors.

He cut a leaf shape out of the paper and looked at looked to Nodoka, "Can I have the icing sugar?"

Auntie Saotome blinked and went to get it, Ranma took the opportunity to get all of the cocoa out of the sifter.

What was Ranma doing?

Ranma carefully laid the paper template over the cake and sifted some icing sugar onto the cake. Taking the paper off Ranma examined the result and then laid the paper down again and again until the cake was decorated with eight leaf shapes in a regular ring.

It looked nice.

"Oh Ranko…" Nodoka murmured, grabbing Ranma and pulling him into a fierce hug.

The squeaking noise Ranma made was kind of funny.

000

(_Cologne's POV_)

Argh! This was impossible. Completely impossible.

She had no idea where her great-granddaughter was… how was she supposed to run the Café with no one to help her?

She was going to have to ask Akane for a very embarrassing favour.

000

(_Ukyou's POV_)

She examined herself in the mirror… yes. It would do. She looked…

She looked like a boy. A _man_.

More than she ever had before.

She'd shut down the shop and spent the day practising how to walk and talk and act… she was doing it properly this time.

Yes…

She'd win Ranchan, she had to.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

Kasumi had never come home; Ryu seemed to have disappeared somewhere as well.

They'd had take-away unadon for dinner, which Auntie Saotome had paid for, and then they'd tucked in to Ranma's cake.

It was… very good.

Though it didn't seem to have agreed with Genma.

But now it was time to go to bed… she was worried, just a little.

She was also nervous. _Mousse_ was there, getting ready for bed. In her room.

She felt… weird. She couldn't explain it, but she did.

She was the last one to go up, aside from Genma who was sulking somewhere in the garden, so when the phone rang she knew she had to get it…

"Hello"

"Akane? It's Kasumi." Kasumi sounded odd, she couldn't describe it.

"Kasumi? _Where are you_?" she asked.

Kasumi giggled. _Giggled_! "I'm sorry Akane… but" snicker "but something's _come up_" giggle, "so I won't… I won't be" snicker "coming home tonight."

What? "But _Kasumi._"

"Bye, bye Akane." Kasumi purred, and then hung up.

What? She hoped her sister was Ok, but Kasumi was an adult so there wasn't anything she could do.

Shaking her head at the strangeness of it she began to make her way upstairs.

Where Mousse was waiting.

000

(_Genma's POV_)

He wasn't that bad a father… was he?

000


	24. Disquiet

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 24: Disquiet.

Rating: Teenishish

Disclaimer: Disclaimer.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

Um… enjoy.

Not exactly sure when the next bit will be out.

_**THANK YOU FOR READING. DOUBLE THANKS IF YOU REVIEW.**_

000

(_Kasumi's POV_)

Oh dear…

She'd… she'd slept with _Ryu_.

Oops.

But yesterday, running into Atsuo… she hadn't seen him in so long but he still made her feel the same.

Small. Pathetic. Weak…

After her mother had died she'd sort of gone off the rails. Her father had been going insane and suddenly she was expected to take care of her sisters…

Atsuo was a senior, she was just about to turn fourteen… he was a creep, on reflection.

She'd drunk, smoked, had sex with him, given up the martial arts, her grades had dropped… and eventually she'd gotten pregnant. She'd thankfully had a miscarriage… _thankfully_ because she'd discovered he was cheating on her. She'd broken up with him… and then gone back to being a good, obedient daughter.

No more fun, no more games… responsible for everyone. She'd dated a little since then, but nothing serious, and as the years went by she almost gave up on ever being with someone again. Ever touching someone. The warmth of another's flesh…

…

It had been fun with Ryu… they'd gotten drunk and carried on. Laughing and joking. And the sex… the sex had been _good_. She sort of hoped they could do it again at some point.

Anyway… she wasn't quite sure what to do now. It was morning and Ryu was still asleep, lying next to her on the plush hotel bed. It would get awkward when he woke up, she knew that, and she hoped he wouldn't say anything cruel to her – running into Atsuo had left her feeling a little bruised.

She looked over at Ryu. He really was a handsome devil… tall and rangy… he had an air of wickedness about him…

He was waking up. She wondered what would happen now.

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

He hadn't slept well. Sleeping on a futon in the room of his… of _Akane_… had been awkward. It was all awkward. He hoped he stopped feeling like this soon.

Everything was odd… he'd found his time with the Tendous had really illustrated the difference between his people and the Japanese. He'd suspected as much but last night had confirmed that the Japanese expected their women to cook dinner…It was… they were strange people, the Japanese.

Back home the idea was preposterous.

Cooking was a man's work, unless it was in a professional capacity. The Amazon's had some great female chefs but he knew that when they were home their husbands cooked for them. As was only right.

He'd heard Akane muttering to herself about being the family head… _that_ _meant_…

He should ask her for permission to use the kitchen. Since he belonged to her and she was head of the family it was his duty to ensure that everyone was fed. Or it would be back home.

Her family was a little strange though… her father seemed to have taken to his bed and her sisters were older than her but not warriors… Perhaps he should only ensure that she was well fed and taken care of. Surely her sisters would marry soon and then have husbands to take care of them.

Speaking of worrying Japanese behaviours; Saotome's mother was strange. Very strange… she had the strength he was used to in a woman but it all seemed to be directed towards acting like he thought a man should… Saotome must be so confused.

What was he going to do? He had no purpose anymore… he would have to find something to occupy his time…

It was fairly early. Akane was still asleep and he desperately needed to use the bathroom… he couldn't wait any longer.

Carefully he eased himself out of bed. He reached over and picked up his glasses, he'd decided that he would wear them from now on; he had no one to impress and he didn't want to look like a fool in front of Akane.

As he quietly crept out of the room – he didn't want to wake her up – he felt himself blush. He hated the pyjamas that Xian Pu had bought for him. They were too skimpy, too cold and too pink… he looked forward to the day that Akane bought him new clothes.

He crept downstairs to the bathroom and used the facilities. Looking towards the bath with longing… maybe he could go back upstairs and get some clothes. Bathe. Make sure a nice hot bath was waiting for Akane… that would probably be appreciated.

He hoped.

He made his way back up to Akane's room and over to the wardrobe. Being as quiet as possible he opened its doors and went looking for his clothes.

There wasn't much left after Akane had culled the ridiculous items but he pulled out a pair of eggshell-blue shorts (what was with all the shorts? He was fairly sure Japanese women wore trousers sometimes.) and a tight teal coloured t-shirt. Locating his underwear he shut his eyes and grabbed the first pair that came to hand… he still found it entirely too embarrassing. He went to his trunk and gathered his toiletries and hairbrush.

He made his way back downstairs to the bathroom. He'd just wash, he wouldn't have a soak – he didn't really feel that he deserved one. And then he'd run the bath for Akane.

He bathed with quick efficiency, making sure the water was warm enough that he wouldn't change. He dried himself, squeezing the water out of his hair, and got dressed. His hair was a knotty mess so he brushed it and then decided to pull it back into a braid to keep it out of his way.

He ran the bath for Akane and left the bathroom to go and get her. He almost ran into her when he left the bathroom. "There you are," she said, looking relieved.

Where else would he be?

Blushing and looking to the side he said, "I ran you a bath."

She blinked at him, "That was nice of you… I was just coming to have a bath."

They stood there for a minute feeling awkward before he stepped out of her way and she walked into the bathroom.

What was he supposed to do now?

He wandered away, looking around the house. He found himself standing in the kitchen… Kasumi obviously hadn't returned as there was no one making breakfast…

Maybe he could take a risk… as he obviously wouldn't be getting in anyone's way he could cook breakfast. He liked cooking… his father had started teaching him from when he was very little and being in the kitchen always made him feel safe.

It had been strange seeing Saotome bake the day before, but he had to admit that the boy was good at it. They had a truce now. Which was also very strange.

Saotome had insisted that he wasn't interested in Xian Pu, which Ranma had done before, but he'd never believed it. He couldn't say what it was that had convinced him this time… but he was. He was convinced.

Ranma always had been confusing… straddling the gender lines as he did. There was an aspect of him that wanted to treat Saotome like a female even as he knew that Saotome was male… He wasn't sure how he would cope with living with the other boy, but he would have to get used to it. He had no choice.

He apprehensively looked about the kitchen. He looked in the pantry, the fridge and the cupboards… there was enough for him to make breakfast for Akane…

He was going to do it. It was his duty…

000

(_Soun's POV_)

It felt like the darkness was eating away at him again. The black sinkhole in his soul that appeared when she died. It was killing him… it had been killing him slowly for years.

When Genma and Ranma had shown up he had become distracted. At peace for a time… even with the myriad of problems they caused. He should have known it wouldn't last.

Now there was all this with the Kurosawas, Nodoka was staying with them – reminding him of his loss, and Akane had gotten herself somehow _involved_ with a cross-dressing, male Amazon.

It was all too much.

He felt tired, exhausted. The idea of getting out of bed seemed an epic challenge…

What was wrong with him?

Why was it like this?

He didn't know what to do, didn't want to do anything. Action seemed exhausting…

He'd get up later. He'd feel better later. It would stop feeling so insurmountable… _later_.

000

(_Aiko's POV_)

It was Sunday. Her deadline had run out… today she was sending everything she knew about Ranma to her dear friend Jacob so he could forge "Ranko" a real identity.

His work was good. Exceptional really… as well as exceptionally expensive. But he owed her.

She'd _acquired_ some photographs of Ranma's female form from a rather dodgy source and was just waiting for Ryu to show up to see if he had any more information…

Perhaps it was time for her to get more involved personally… but then again, perhaps not. She didn't want to intimidate Ranma and she'd been told that she was very intimidating.

Anyway, she had other plans in the works… she just hoped she succeeded.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

Blarghh! Gods he felt awful…

How much had he drunk last night? Way too much from the feel of it.

More importantly… where was he?

Peeling open an eye than felt like it was gummed shut with sandpaper (if such a thing was possible) he assessed the situation.

Ah.

That's right.

He'd gotten drunk with Kasumi and then they'd…

Oh…

Perhaps that had been a bad idea, but it had seemed more friendly than serious. It had felt like comfort. Balm to ease a weary soul…

And it had been _good_… very, very good. Much better than anything recently…

He couldn't help comparing it to what it had been like with Kana, or what he suspected it would be like with Ranma… It had been better than it was with Kana, as much as it made him heartsick to think it… and Ranma… Ranma would be a virgin. That would lead to another whole set of complications…

Well that was Kiyoshi's concern and not his. Yes, he was attracted to Ranma… incredibly attracted to Ranma… but she was Kiyoshi's fiancée, and maybe he didn't want another serious relationship just yet.

Kana had really done a number on him. He felt… _bruised_… hard, and cold somewhere deep inside. Somewhere that had once been filled with warmth and light…

He was being stupid.

It was time to face the music.

He turned over and sat up, the covers pooling in his lap, and looked at Kasumi.

She had been staring into space and when he moved she startled; they made eye contact.

She was beautiful; he couldn't help thinking it, even if she wasn't strictly his type. His eyes took in the lines of her form, her face, her smooth skin and long legs…

She was very different than Kana, who was petite and curvy like Ranma; instead she was all tall, slender, grace. Not the physical type he usually went for but he could see the appeal now that he'd…

"What time is it?" she asked.

Discovering he was still wearing his watch he brought it up and peered blearily at the dial. "Eight."

She sighed, "Oh… I suppose I better get home and cook breakfast."

He looked away. "Yeah, I suppose so."

They were silent for a minute before she cleared her throat, "Thanks Ryu, I had a good time."

"Yeah me too."

He had to go home and see his mother anyway.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

Mousse had run her a bath. As she towelled dry her hair she couldn't help think how strange it was… strange in a nice way. She got dressed and brushed her hair, wondering if Kasumi had returned.

She had tossed and turned for most of the night; between all this with Mousse and worrying about Kasumi, sleep had been difficult and disturbed.

She left the bathroom and immediately her nose was assaulted by a heavenly smell. It was coming from the kitchen… Kasumi must be back. She headed to the kitchen to question her sister on where she had been but discovered that, instead of Kasumi, _Mousse_ was the origin of the delightful aroma.

He hummed softly as he sautéed something in a wok… He was _cooking_.

It smelt good, very good. She didn't know what he was cooking but she could see that he'd cut up something on the chopping block, she could smell spring-onions and ginger, and steam was billowing out of the vent of the rice-cooker.

She cleared her throat, startling him and catching his attention. He blushed.

"I… I… I thought I'd cook you breakfast," he mumbled, "There wasn't much in the cupboards but… Um… it will be ready soon if you want to go wait in the dining-room." He couldn't make eye-contact with her and instead seemed to be studying a point on the floor about thirty centimetres in front of her feet.

She wasn't sure how to respond. It was a little… _disconcerting_. Deciding that it was good that he was actually responding to his surroundings, as well as being tempted by the smell of whatever he was cooking she said "Ok" and made her way to the dining-room.

She discovered Genma curled up asleep on the tatami in a big ball of panda-shaped depression. She arched her eyebrow and shook her head. It wasn't her problem.

She sat down to wait for Mousse. She didn't have to wait long.

He entered the room balancing a large tray full of food. He placed it on the table and began unpack it. Two bowls with rice in the bottom, a serving plate covered in some fried egg concoction that smelt strongly of ginger, several smaller plates covered with various sautéed vegetables in various sauces, chopsticks, and two cups as well as a teapot full of what smelled like jasmine-tea.

How had he done all this in such little time? But then again, he worked… _had_ worked… in a restaurant.

He placed one of the bowls containing rice in front of her and the other in the space next to hers and then did the same with the tea and chopsticks. He then arranged the other dishes within easy reach. He gave everything a look over, nodded his head in satisfaction and sat next to her. She was about to reach for the food but he got there first; he reached out with his chopsticks and elegantly began to snag the best looking bits of the dishes and place them in her bowl.

Was this normal? Was this what an Amazon male did for the woman who… who owned (the thought still made her somewhat uncomfortable) him?

He must have noticed her discomfort because he blushed fiercely and froze.

What was she supposed to do? Should she tell him not to serve her? If she did would it upset him? She wanted to tell him to stop but at the same time some small part of her was enjoying the attention. Did that make her a bad person?

She didn't know.

Deciding that she'd make up her mind later she gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile. He unfroze and returned to serving her with elegant efficiency.

When he seemed to be satisfied with her bowl he began to serve himself, leaving plenty on the serving plates. She could only assume that it was in case she wanted more later.

She looked down at her bowl… it all looked very good… she looked over to him… he was looking at her expectantly… she picked up her chopsticks and began to eat.

It _was_ very good.

She noticed that Mousse began to eat after she did, but she also noticed, out of the corner of her eye, that he was paying close attention to her.

She really liked the egg dish, which he must have noticed, because the minute she had eaten the last piece of it his chopsticks snapped out and she found more of it in her bowl. This went on whenever she had finished something until she was so full she felt like she was going to explode.

That was when Nodoka entered the room.

The woman frowned at them, frowned at the food and then asked "Is Kasumi back yet?"

Akane shook her head and Nodoka sighed… "I suppose I'll go and make breakfast for everyone…" she gave them a censoring glare "everyone _else_ that is."

Er…

Just then the sound of the door opening and closing drew their attention. Nodoka turned around and stuck her head into the hallway.

"Hello Kasumi" she called out, her voice like ice.

"Oh! Auntie Saotome!" she heard her sister call out.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Her sister was back.

Nodoka went stalking out of the room snapping "Where have you been?"

There was a pause before Kasumi replied "I don't see how it's any of your business."

"Of course it's my business! You will be marrying my son." Nodoka snapped.

Oh dear…

She got to her feet in a hurry and ran out into the hallway. Nodoka and Kasumi were facing each other down.

Kasumi scoffed "I'm not marrying Ranma."

Nodoka drew herself up and crossed her arms, "Since your sister has decided that her responsibility to that _boy_ is more important than her responsibility to my _son,_ you will take her place as his fiancée."

Kasumi looked away for a second and when she looked back Akane found herself stepping backwards. She had never seen her sister look like that… it was more than a little scary. "I don't think so Auntie Saotome. My life is _my_ life… I have sacrificed enough as it is."

"What do you know of sacrifice? This is what your father and my husband wish; you will do as you're told." Nodoka snapped.

It seemed more than a little cruel, what Auntie Saotome was saying.

Kasumi looked at the other woman with cold eyes, "_What do I know of sacrifice_? Who cooks? Who cleans? Who works to pay the bills? _It's not my father_… I have given up _years_ of my life for this family. I am not giving up my remaining freedom."

Oh _Kasumi_… was it really that bad? Thinking about it she realized that they all seemed to expect Kasumi to do everything, fix everything… it was hardly fair. She didn't know what she'd do but she vowed that she would to _something_ to make life easier for her sister.

"Oh…" Auntie Saotome murmured.

Kasumi seemed to gather herself and gave Nodoka a slightly forced smile, "I understand where you're coming from. You just want what's best for your son… but that is never going to be me. I'm sorry Auntie Saotome."

Nodoka shook her head, "No, no… no need to apologize. _I'm_ sorry for hopping into you like that. I… I… I just feel so helpless sometimes… not being able to see him. See _them_."

Kasumi gave her a genuine smile "That's Ok Auntie Saotome… Now, I really need to make breakfast."

Nodoka nodded and Kasumi entered the kitchen.

She felt awkward and crept back into the dining room before she caught Nodoka's attention.

If Kasumi had refused to marry Ranma and _she_ wasn't going to… that left Nabiki. That would be a nightmare all round… What could she do though?

As she stepped back into the room her attention was drawn to Genma. He did not look happy. He was sitting up, awake, and glaring at her…

Er…

"Ah, Ranko! Good morning! I was thinking we could do something together today, _just_ you and me," she heard Nodoka cheerfully call out.

"Um… Good morning Auntie Saotome. I… I have to have a bath," she heard Ranma mumble.

"Well you do that and then we can go get breakfast and I thought we could spend the day together," she could hear the smile in Auntie Saotome's voice.

"I… I guess so," Ranma sounded nervous.

"Good. I'll see you soon Ranko," Nodoka called out, walking into the dining-room.

It was a little awkward. Nodoka didn't seem as friendly as she usually was and she herself was a little uncomfortable about it all. Plus Nodoka was giving Mousse some very strange looks. She wasn't happy about that and had to restrain herself from glaring at the older woman.

Soon enough Ranma appeared in the room, dressed in a pair of form fitting, lemon-yellow toreador (length between knee and ankle) trousers, and a white halter-neck top.

Auntie Saotome smiled at Ranma, and it occurred to Akane that Nodoka wasn't exactly happy with the Tendou girls. That was good, she guessed, it gave Ranma a chance to be with her… _his…_ mother… even in such embarrassing circumstances.

Nodoka got to her feet and said, "Come on Ranko," before leaving the room.

Ranma winced and gave Akane an uncomfortable smile.

"See ya Akane," he muttered, following his mother.

"Bye Ranko" she called out to him.

Even though she had already eaten breakfast she decided that she might as well stay while everyone else ate. It would be the sociable thing to do.

"A… Akane?" Mousse mumbled.

She looked over at him, he was studying his hands.

"Yes Mousse?" she replied.

He looked up and met her eyes for just a second, "Is it alright if I clean up this," he indicated at the refuse of their meal, "As well as the mess I made in the kitchen?"

"Of course Mousse, you don't have to ask my permission if you want to do something," she said, hoping he'd take it to heart.

He frowned at her, shook his head, and got to his feet. He gracefully gathered everything and left the room, leaving her alone with Genma.

The panda produced a sign and wrote **"What's this about you not marrying Ranma?"**

She winced, "I've made my decision; Mousse is my responsibility."

He harrumphed but didn't write anything else; instead he glared at her with beady panda eyes. She worried about what he was plotting.

Soon afterwards Nabiki finally came down, looking distracted, and Kiyoshi turned up.

She made small-talk with her sister until Kasumi showed up with breakfast.

"Good morning Kiyoshi" Kasumi said as she placed the food on the table.

"Good morning" Kiyoshi replied.

As Kasumi worked Akane's eyes were drawn to a dark bruise on her neck…

No…

_It couldn't be…_

It looked like a love bite.

000

_(Ryu's POV_)

After returning home, reporting to his mother, having a shower and getting dressed he didn't know what to do.

He felt… restless…

He didn't feel like returning to the Tendou Dojou. He didn't want to see Ranma and the idea of running into Kasumi made him feel…

_Weird_.

So… he was aimlessly wandering around Nerima.

He walked… not even noticing the pretty girls…

He found himself in the food shopping district; he didn't even know what he was doing there.

And then he saw her. Saw Kasumi.

She had a large basket on her arm and had just accepted a package from the butcher…

Instinctively he strode over to her, grinning back at her when she blushed and gave him a little grin.

He felt… at peace.

000

(_Hitomi's POV_)

She looked at herself in the mirror.

Plain face, short black hair, average height, flat chest, wide hips on a bottom-heavy body…

She hated herself. She just wanted to smash her reflection into a thousand pieces.

Being friends with Yuuka and Aoi was difficult, they were both so pretty. The prettiest girls in their year. Yuuka with her bleached-blonde hair and delicate features, pixie-like Aoi with her top-heavy, busty body.

They could really make her feel inadequate.

The thing was, neither of them could hold a candle to Ranma's female form… Ranma, the perfect girl. Although when it came to girls, she thought that Nabiki was the most attractive. Nabiki had fire, personality… she was _striking_. That was something neither Yuuka nor Aoi would ever have.

She envied Nabiki, but at the same time could never bring herself to hate the other girl.

Nabiki was so _free_.

Bright, brilliant Nabiki… Hitomi had been watching her for years now. She'd seen her potential… Nabiki was going places, she was going to be someone. Even if that someone wasn't the type of person you'd like to encounter in a dark alley.

Nabiki was… she didn't necessarily want to _be_ Nabiki but she always wanted to be _with _Nabiki. But she wasn't brave enough… Yuuka, Aoi and all the girls she knew hated Nabiki and she was frightened to go against them. Also… what could Nabiki ever want with someone like _her_?

She knew she was plain. Plain, boring, and stupid. They teased her about it, Yuuka and Aoi, about how unattractive she was, how she dressed and how the boys were never interested. Frankly she wasn't interested in the boys either, but still…

It hurt.

They thought they were so special, they thought they were so perfect, so pretty…

But she knew so many of their secrets, of all the girl's secrets. She was easy to overlook, she gave sensible advice (to the truly insensible) and she seemed so harmless…

She'd heard the boys talk too, heard what they thought about the girls… she could not imagine how Ranma could feel safe sharing the same changing room as them. They… _scared_ her.

…

Maybe, if she was lucky, she would have a chance to see Nabiki again today.

Yesterday had been nice, spending time together in the park… even if she had Akira with her. He could be such a brat.

He was the son of her father and his new wife… their precious son…

The divorce was another thing that the girls teased her about.

But she liked Yayoi, her stepmother, and she could see how much happier her father was. He had always been jealous of her mother's intense brilliance.

Her mother the artist… she was in France currently, and had been for the last two years. She sounded happy whenever Hitomi had a chance to talk to her… happy and content.

She missed her.

She didn't think she would be coming home. But if she was happy…

It was just… sometimes she wished she could join her mother. To fly free. Away from Nerima.

000

(_Genma's POV_)

He felt restless, uneasy and uncomfortable.

Everything was getting out of his control, not that he had much control at the best of times. It was just… all coming apart at the seams.

Soun was…

The Kurosawas…

His wife in the house… oh, she smelt so good…

That bloody Kiyoshi confronting him like the boy knew everything…

And now Akane deciding not to marry Ranma…

What could he do? Nothing really…

He just had to trust Ranma, trust the boy to do the right thing, remember who he was.

And there _was_ something he could do to help abound that. Nodoka had stolen all the boy's male clothes…

He was going to take a few jobs around the neighbourhood, earn some money and buy Ranma something befitting the boy…

That would show Kiyoshi.

He _wasn't_ that much of a bad father.

000

(_Ai Xia Do's POV_)

She could see that he was sad… he hated it when she left.

She ran her hand down the side of his face and brought him close to her. She kissed him, for what would be the last time for days… weeks. It hurt to leave him.

She had to though. She had no choice. It would hurt him more if their baby's situation was bad. She could not bear to see him cry.

No… if things were bad for Mu Tsu then she would act and damn the consequences; the girl who had stolen him would know her wrath.

She would name herself Judge, Jury and Exectutioner.

Mu Tsu was too important to her to be sacrificed to tradition.

"Keep him safe" she told her daughters "keep each other safe."

Things were coming to a head. More and more the idiots of their village were showing them outright hostility. Without the sane voice of Ku Lon things were going to hell.

Nobody trusted her, nobody had _ever_ trusted her… too scared of the shadow of her ancestors.

Fools.

They were all fools.

She rolled her shoulders and checked her weapons for the third time; it was time to leave.

000


	25. Ucchan?

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 25: Ucchan?

Rating: Teenishish

Disclaimer: Ok, time to be serious, or not. Ranma ½ is not mine, yada yada yada. No money for me.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes: Um…

I am not sure when the next bit will be out.

I have a fully formed plot idea in another fandom that wants me to write it. On the plus side the story in question is not that long, only about 16,000 (weird what I consider short, but just look at the word count on this thing) and shouldn't take anymore that a week or so (mind you there is more work for Uni due soon) so expect me to be back with this in 2-3 weeks, a month at the most.

Sorry.

However, don't for one minute think I'm abandoning this story. I'm already writing another series set in the Heroes universe at the same time as I'm writing this so I _can_ multi-task.

Final Note:

I would like to say thank you to everyone who has read and especially everyone who has reviewed this story, be the review good or bad.

I think it is too easy for a writer to take their readers for granted.

You have been fantastic.

I mean it.

Your feedback has encouraged me so much. I like writing; I really, really do, but the fact that there are people out there that want to read what I've written makes it easier in a way.

Furthermore sometimes things that some of you have said in your reviews have sparked off ideas, or helped me to work out how to do things in a different, and hopefully _better_ way. Even the critical reviews, though some of them have been a bit groundless (in my opinion at least), have made me think about what I'm doing, what I'm writing and how I'm writing it.

I really appreciate every bit of feedback I've been given.

So…

Thank You All.

000

(_Ranma's POV- female_)

If he was very, very still then maybe it would all go away… maybe it would be happening to someone else.

Or not.

He flinched away from the scissors flashing through his hair.

Why, oh why had he agreed to this?

Oh yeah… for some reason he was incapable of arguing with his mother when she got an idea in her head. He didn't understand it, it was like… guilt and… and he wanted her to be happy… and he was only just beginning to realise that underneath her sweet, gentle appearance there might just be something more.

Something with a will of iron.

At least he'd managed to convince her that all his hair really needed was a trim and a clean up… since he usually cut it himself, and after all that with the dragon-whisker it _was_ a bit of a mess… but still… at least it wasn't anything like what she'd first suggested. He was being too passive with her, he knew he was. He just didn't know how to…

Why was he intimidated by her? Why?...

He just didn't want her to hate him, and he was so, so frightened that she would if he was too much like himself. His mother wanted him…_No_… not _him_; she wanted _Ranko_ to be some perfect, idealised girl. But he _was_ Ranko… Ranko didn't exist outside of him, and it was so confusing when the person who would demand he commit seppoku if he wasn't a man amongst men was the one insisting that he had to think and act like a girl.

The woman cutting his hair finally laid down the scissors.

She smiled at him, flashing overly white teeth, "There… what do you think?"

He frowned at his reflection.

He didn't look all that different than before. Well… he didn't look like what he was used to seeing in a mirror, because he was still in his female form… but his hair…

Anyway, not that different. Even with it smoothed down by the cold water the woman had sprayed on it her could see the ends were less ragged and his fringe was a little more even.

"Um… yes?" he replied, hoping she wouldn't ask him for any more participation.

She sighed and muttered something that he didn't quite catch before reaching out and grabbing a canister of _something_. She pressed the top and squirted something white and frothy into her hand and put the canister back.

He twitched away from her when she reached out with hands covered in the suspiciously scented white froth. She sighed again and shook her head. She reached out again and this time he managed to hold himself still while she brusquely ran the foam into his hair.

After she had done that she reached for the hairdryer…

He found himself looking over to his mother, who was having another woman do something to her nails, for help. Nodoka didn't even look up from where she was happily chatting away, watching what the woman was doing.

Why was this happening to him?

The woman turned on the hairdryer. The whirring of its engine and the hiss of rushing air made him freeze. The woman reached out with some sort of cylindrical brush in one hand and the hairdryer in the other. He winced as she rolled a portion of his hair over the brush and then blasted him with hot air.

Ow… his scalp was burning.

He just couldn't imagine how women did this all the time. It was ridiculous, painful and annoying. Obviously he'd underestimated them.

He found himself holding his breath and squeezing his eyes shut. It would be over soon… it had to be.

000

(_Ukyou's POV_)

Well… it wasn't going too badly.

She carefully readjusted her stride, focussing on moving with her shoulders instead of her hips…

No, not going too badly at all.

But she needed practice; which was why she was here, wandering about Nerima's shopping district. Wandering around dressed as a boy – which wasn't even remotely unusual for her… but this time she was _acting_ like a boy, she was thinking like a boy… she was a boy in all but body. Or so she hoped.

She needed to be good enough to convince Ranchan that she was willing to make this sacrifice so that they could be together. To convince him that she really, honestly, completely and totally loved him and was willing to accept his little… _idiosyncrasies._

She sighed, she had to act fast. If she wasn't careful Kiyoshi Kurosawa would steal her Ranchan and then where would she be?

She _needed_ him.

A giggle drew her attention and she looked to her left.

Oh my…

There were girls, young women actually, and they were… they were… at _her_…

Oh… well, it was sort of flattering.

Obviously they didn't go to Furinkan so they didn't recognise her and she supposed she made a reasonably good looking boy.

Er…

She blushed and looked away. She just wasn't attracted to girls.

Which might be a problem with Ranchan, as she had this tiny, awful suspicion that maybe he wasn't actually gay. Maybe he was just a woman trapped in a man's body… she's heard such things happened, sometimes, and he did seem awfully fond of running around in his female form. But for Ranchan she could endure… she would _make_ herself attracted to his female form.

She _would_.

Or so she hoped… it had to work though, it had to.

She drew herself up and turned to the girls. Forcing a flirtatious smile onto her face she almost laughed when they giggled and blushed. It made her feel powerful, in a strange way.

She let that sense of power, that confidence, buoy her along. She strutted down the street, feeling like… _hoping_ she looked like one of those really confident boys. Arrogant, smug, confident... maybe confidence would be enough to sway Ranchan, make him _see_ her.

So she swaggered, she smiled, she winked, and grinned, and flirted. Even as it felt alien, _wrong_, it got easier, so much easier. And then…

Then she saw him. _Her._ Stepping out of a hairdresser's; wearing soft summery colours and her hair… a fall of lustrous crimson.

_Ranchan._

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

Well… That's what he got for being late. Later than usual anyway.

Apparently Ranma was out somewhere with Nodoka. So… what was he going to do?

He could go home, or go somewhere else… but… what else was there for him to do in Nerima? Who else did he know?

Ryu was… _somewhere_, and he wasn't overly fond of the idea of spending the day in his mother's company…

He _could_ always use this time to get to know Akane. Well… Akane and _Mousse_, as they seemed to be a matched set currently.

He looked over to Akane, who was sitting with her elbow on the table and staring off into space.

Maybe he should just find somewhere to nap until Ranma came back.

He didn't feel… comfortable here.

Breakfast had been rather less bountiful than usual… as well as rather awkward. Akane had been lost deep in thought and Mousse sitting next to her and not looking at anyone; neither of them had eaten anything, he wondered if they had eaten earlier. The panda was sulking in the corner, but he had greedily stuffed his face when Kasumi had called him over, Nabiki hadn't said anything; which he thought was a little strange, the Tendou patriarch hadn't come out of his room, and Kasumi kept touching her lips and giving little, secretive smiles.

He missed Ranma.

He felt comfortable with Ranma… without his fiancée… well he realised that he didn't really know any of these people. Why was he even here?

Kasumi had left a while ago now, she'd gone shopping. Genma had left also, but he hadn't said where he was going… and that just left himself, Akane, Mousse and Nabiki in the house… well, and Soun, but he didn't think that counted.

Still looking as though her mind was elsewhere Akane suddenly spoke, "Mousse?"

The boy startled and looked at her apprehensively, "Yes, Akane?"

"What's your mother like?"

The boy obviously hadn't been expecting the question because he blinked at her for a moment, opened his mouth a few times as though to say something before finally gathering himself, "She's strong, intelligent, brave… a fearsome warrior… why?"

Akane turned and studied the boy, "Because Cologne said that she expects her to be coming here when she finds out about… about _this_… and that she won't be happy. Cologne sounded _worried_. **Scared** even."

Mousse was obviously gob smacked. "What? Why…? I mean… Why?"

Akane frowned at him and had just opened her mouth to say something when Nabiki looked up from the manga she was reading and nonchalantly said, "Well then, shouldn't you do something about his clothes? If she's so scary?"

Akane froze and stared at her sister before shaking her head and sighing, "I don't have any money."

"I could lend you some, if you'd like." Nabiki smirked at her.

Akane arched her brow at Nabiki, "I don't think so. I'm not stupid."

"Come on," Nabiki gave her sister an indulgent smile, "I won't even charge you interest."

"Why?" Akane squinted at her sister with suspicion, "That's not like you Nabiki."

Nabiki smirked, "Can't a girl do something nice for her sister?"

Akane gave her a flat look.

Nabiki sighed and shook her head, "Ok. Firstly, I don't exactly want you getting pulverised by a rampaging Amazon. Secondly… _I'm bored_. I want to go out and do something. So I thought I could come with you, maybe something interesting might happen."

Akane bit her lip and looked away for a minute or so before turning back to Nabiki with a serious look, "How much?"

"Will I lend you?" Nabiki asked.

Akane nodded.

"However much you need."

Akane took another moment to think about it and then nodded her head decisively. She got to her feet at and looked down at Mousse who gave her a nervous smile and carefully stood as well. Nabiki languidly stretched and rose to her feet, she looked down at him and smirked, "You coming?"

Him? She was inviting _him_ along?

Oh well, he had nothing better to do.

000

(_Ranma's POV- female_)

He didn't know what Ukyou was playing at.

He really didn't.

At least she wasn't dressed like _that_ anymore, but he didn't know if he liked the new her anymore than that her. He just missed the _old her_.

She was smiling at him again, That horrible, flirtatious smile. Coming out of a face and body that his mind kept trying to tell him was male. He didn't know what to think.

It was confusing him. As were her actions.

She was acting like he was a girl. Being all flirty and chivalrous… she'd even pulled out the seat for him. And there she was, sitting across from him, looking at him all funny and charming his mother.

His mother who seemed to think that she was a friend of his. Of Ranma's. A friend that was obviously interested in 'Ranko'.

His mother seemed to think it was cute. She'd whispered something horrible and embarrassing into his ear earlier. It was bad enough that she thought he was interested in Kiyoshi… or whatever she thought about the mess… but to have her think he was interested in not one but _two _boys was mortifying.

Absolutely mortifying.

He lifted a spoon full of parfait to his lips, scowling at Ukyou and his laughing mother. The last thing he wanted right now was to be sitting in this nice little café, eating this remarkably tasty confection and watching Ukyou pretend to be a boy and make his mother laugh.

He should have refused to spend the day with her, with his mother, then he could have been lurking around the Dojou. Napping, or sparring with Kiyoshi, helping Akane with something… maybe even baking.

But no… instead he was here. Bored, embarrassed, unhappy, wanting to be elsewhere…

He sighed and scooped up another bite of parfait.

A particularly loud giggle from his mother made him wince. Anywhere but here. He wished he was anywhere but here.

000

(_Nabiki's POV_)

It was strange. So strange… she was really getting a chance to see a different side of her sister. A side she found she liked.

Akane was unconsciously taking control of the situation. Deciding where they were going, how long they'd spend there…

Nabiki was pleasantly surprised at how rational Akane was being. She seemed to have worked out in her head everything that Mousse needed and was taking them from shop to shop without getting distracted. She didn't think that she'd seen Akane gazing at something for herself even once.

They'd started out getting Mousse some essentials. Underwear, socks and the like. She was actually quite proud of the fact that she'd somehow resisted making some of the comments that had flashed through her mind when Akane had been picking out underwear. She didn't need to antagonise her sister, she wasn't _that _bored.

Though she _was_ bored. She'd forgotten how tedious it was watching other people shop.

But Akane was doing a good job; she was even trying to get things that Mousse liked. It was kind of sweet, in a weird way, watching Akane with Mousse. She was gentle with him, patient. She always asked if he saw anything he liked and never lost her temper when he was hesitant about telling her.

The side of Akane that she was seeing was one that Ranma could never bring out in her sister. She was actually beginning to think that maybe Mousse would be good for Akane. She definitely thought that Akane would be good for Mousse.

The way he acted sometimes gave her the feeling that he was actually surprised that Akane was treating him like a sentient being. It was… mildly disconcerting.

She looked over to where Akane was holding out a couple of shirts to Mousse, one a deep maroon red and the other a pale blue, it seemed that her sister was asking the boy what he thought of them. Mousse said something too quietly for her to hear, but whatever it was Akane must have heard it as she put both of the shirts into their basket.

Nabiki looked over to Kiyoshi, who was looming a little way away.

Every now and then Akane would ask him his opinion of something for Mousse, but otherwise he didn't say anything. Do anything. He just loomed.

He looked as bored as she felt. She wondered why he'd agreed to come with them, but then… it wasn't like he had anything else to do, not with Ranma elsewhere.

She wasn't exactly sure what to think of him, but she didn't think he was a bad person. A little anti-social, sure… but the way he did look at Ranma when Ranma was there.

No one who could look at another person like that, with that much devotion, that much awe, could be a bad person.

Oh gods. She was turning into a sappy idiot.

"Come on, let's go to the next shop," called out Akane.

She sighed and followed. It was time to watch more of her precious money getting flushed away.

Why had she volunteered to give Akane a loan? Particularly an interest free loan?

She must be loosing her mind. Or going soft in her old age…

Maybe it was all the good will she had left over from seeing Hitomi the day before.

_Hitomi_.

She shook herself out of her thoughts before more than a flash of those beautiful eyes and shapely legs could cross her mind.

She couldn't let this… whatever it was of hers divert her from her ambitions in life.

She was going to marry Tatewaki Kuno. That was it.

Of course she could always cheat on him. She doubted very much that _he'd_ be faithful.

She sighed… Oh well.

She watched as Akane's purchases were rung up and then they were off.

Off to find another shop.

She strolled along a few steps behind Akane and Mousse, who she had to admit did make a good looking couple (cross-dressing aside), almost next to Kiyoshi.

Kiyoshi who suddenly stopped.

She turned to see what had caught his attention and found her attention seized.

In the window of one of the shops was a group of delicate, life-like mannequins wearing truly gorgeous festival yukatas.

It was a whimsical, beautiful scene.

The mannequins were grouped together as though they were a group of young women walking together, talking and giggling. They were set against a painted backdrop full of brightly coloured festival booths.

She turned to look at Kiyoshi, just briefly. Taking in the wistful, longing expression on his face.

He was imagining Ranma, she just knew it, and she could see it. Could see Ranma wearing one of those yukatas and walking along hand in hand with Kiyoshi.

It was and almost… _idyllic… _scene.

She looked back to the mannequins and found herself captured.

There at the back, almost behind a blonde mannequin wearing a flashy orange yukata, was…

Pale lilac coloured, an elegant chrysanthemum pattern… such a beautiful yukata.

The mannequin wearing it had short black hair and was holding a fan over most of its face…

Oh…

Hitomi. She could see it on Hitomi, it would look so beautiful. She would look so beautiful.

Of course her moment of ridiculous sentimentality had to be ruined.

There, strutting across that lovely visage, interrupting her line of sight… Yuuka and Aoi.

Resentment, anger, hatred…

She was seething with it.

She closed her eyes, she took ten deep breaths and she distanced herself from it. She was stringer than them, smarter than them, _better_ than them… and she'd had her vengeance long ago.

She opened her eyes.

She turned away from the window display and began to walk towards the shop that Akane and Mousse had entered.

She felt cool, _cold_ really, calm, collected….

000

(_Ranma's POV – Female_)

Nodoka had gone into one of the shops by herself, leaving him alone with Ukyou.

"What are you doing Ucchan?"

She looked at him, _studied_ him…

"It's ok Ranchan; I _understand_. I accept you just the way you are. Don't you see, we _can _be happy together." She sounded… so forceful, so convinced… what did she think? That if she acted like a boy he'd magically fall in love with her?

Why wouldn't she listen to him? Why wouldn't anyone listen to him?

Feeling as though the weight of the world was crushing him he tried to reason with her, "Ukyou, it won't work. I'm _not_ gay. I'm _not_. Why won't you believe me?"

She gave him this sweet, slightly manic smile, "its ok. I _do_ understand. You don't have to pretend with me Ranchan; I accept that you really want to be a girl. I accept it so much that I'm willing to go to Jusenkyou, to find the Spring of Drowned Man, so that we can be together."

_WHAT?!_

This was…

_HOLY…_

He didn't know what he was going to do, how he was going to react. His mind was reeling.

She thought _what?!_

She…

She had taken advantage of his complete disorientation.

She was…

She was _kissing _him.

Hot, wet, warm…

His eyes were still open and it looked, it _felt_ like he was being kissed by a boy. But not like Mikado Senzenin… no…

For a moment, just a moment, he found himself relaxing into the kiss. Letting her kiss him… but no.

It was wrong.

She was wrong…

She didn't feel right, she didn't smell right, she wasn't warm enough… she didn't make him feel safe.

She wasn't…

He wrenched himself away from her, briefly noting her flushed cheeks and wide eyes, and then… then he fled.

He ran.

He _ran_.

As fast as he could, as far away from her as he could go.

He ran blindly.

He ran and ran and ran until…

_Thwack_.

He ran headlong into someone.

Someone large, warm…

Someone who didn't stagger from the force of their collision.

_Kiyoshi_.

He didn't even need to look up to know who it was, he recognised that scent.

But he did, he looked up, into Kiyoshi's wide dark eyes.

He felt… _safe_.

000

(_Ukyou's POV_)

No.

_NO!_

She hadn't… she had hoped so much… but she _hadn't_…

When she kissed him she felt _nothing_.

_Nothing_.

000


	26. Little Steps in the Right Direction

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 26: Little Steps in the Right Direction.

Rating: Teenishish

Disclaimer: I get sick of trying to work out new ones of these. You know what this is for, you know what goes here, just pretend I've done it.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

I meant to have this done late last week, but instead I got sick. Unpleasant. I'm better now, though, so it's finally done.

Yay.

I'm thinking about putting up a new summary, tell me if you think that's a good idea, I know some people are scared off by the original characters and I would to try and work out some way of reassuring them. I don't think I'm doing too badly OC wise. I may be wrong, of course.

Onto a good note, or not depending how you see it. I've got a fair amount of the remaining plot worked out, finally, so I now know where I'm going. There's this very good spot to end this fic, which I'll probably do, and then I think I'll write a sequel to deal with some of my other ideas for this universe.

Final Note:

I would like to say thank you to everyone who has read and especially everyone who has reviewed this story, be the review good or bad.

I think it is too easy for a writer to take their readers for granted.

You have been fantastic.

I mean it.

Your feedback has encouraged me so much. I like writing; I really, really do, but the fact that there are people out there that want to read what I've written makes it easier in a way.

Furthermore sometimes things that some of you have said in your reviews have sparked off ideas, or helped me to work out how to do things in a different, and hopefully _better_ way. Even the critical reviews, though some of them have been a bit groundless (in my opinion at least), have made me think about what I'm doing, what I'm writing and how I'm writing it.

I really appreciate every bit of feedback I've been given.

So…

Thank You All.

000

(_Ranma's POV – female_)

He looked up into Kiyoshi's face, trapped in his gaze. He felt himself flush, unable to work out why. His hands had grasped onto Kiyoshi's top in order to stop himself from falling over when he'd run into the larger boy and he found himself strangely unable to release the grip. He stood there, frozen, for what felt like an eternity; Kiyoshi staring back into his eyes.

Eventually the outside world filtered back and he abruptly released Kiyoshi's shirt.

He stepped away, blushing harder, all too aware of Akane, Mousse and Nabiki watching him. He opened his mouth, trying to think of something to say, some way of explaining what had just happened; he couldn't think of anything.

He could see Nabiki smirking at him but thankfully she didn't say anything. Akane looked a little uncomfortable but she gave him a kind smile when he looked over to her. He suddenly realised that he had no idea why they were here. The last time he'd seen them had been back at the Dojou, and even then Kiyoshi hadn't been with them.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, wincing when it came out a little bit ruder than he'd intended.

Akane gave him a slightly bemused smile and nodded over towards Mousse, "Shopping for clothes for Mousse."

Ok… he could understand why Akane and Mousse would be doing that, but Nabiki and Kiyoshi…? Maybe Kiyoshi was there to hold the bags, as that seemed to be what he was doing.

Akane suddenly frowned and looked around, "Ran…ko, where's Auntie Saotome?"

Er… he felt himself flush harder, remembering what had happened with Ukyou. He mumbled something, not entirely sure what he was saying and completely sure that Akane wouldn't be able to decipher it either.

Akane blinked at him, "What?..." was all she managed to say before the sound of footsteps pounding into the pavement and the sensation of his hackles rising alerted him to Ukyou, who was running to catch up with him.

He squeaked, which was highly embarrassing, and unconsciously ducked behind Kiyoshi to use the larger boy as a human shield. Ukyou stopped and stared for a moment when she noticed them, before striding over purposefully.

She headed straight for him, trying to confront him face to face. He inched further behind Kiyoshi, he felt like… like she had violated some unspoken rule between them when she had kissed him.

She started to circle around Kiyoshi, trying to get his undivided attention. He found himself manoeuvring around Kiyoshi, always keeping his fiancé between them. It was sort of embarrassing, but a quick glance up at Kiyoshi's face seemed to indicate that the larger boy didn't mind too much.

Eventually she seemed to loose her temper and spat out "Dammit Ranchan! Stop running away, I just want to talk to you."

He weighed his options. He could listen to what she had to say, but even looking at her was making him cringe in shame. However, he was starting to learn that sometimes you had to face down a problem immediately, before it had the chance to grow into something bigger.

He stepped out of Kiyoshi's shadow and forced himself to make eye contact with her, "Alright, so talk."

She looked down, biting her lip, before meeting his eyes, "Please Ranchan, not in front of everyone."

"Ok, but we're going to have a witness," he really didn't want to talk to her alone.

"If you do anything I'm not having you blame it on me."

She flinched, looking stricken. "Alright" she said quietly, "but not _him_," she snarled pointing at Kiyoshi.

Well… there went his first choice, that meant…

"Or _her,_" Ukyou snarled when he turned to Akane.

That left him with a choice of Nabiki (no way in hell, she'd use anything she learnt to her advantage) or Mousse (er… was Mousse his ally?). Giving it some long and careful thought he made his decision. "Fine, we're taking Mousse."

Of course that depended whether or not Mousse actually wanted to come with them. He looked over to the other boy, who was looking somewhat uncomfortable, and asked "Is that ok?"

Mousse took a moment to decide before hesitantly nodding.

He nodded and briskly began to walk away from Akane and Nabiki, not waiting for Ukyou to catch up. When they were a decent distance from the others and off the main street he stopped and rounded on Ukyou, "Ok, what do you want?"

She flinched and looked away, "I'm sorry Ranchan, I shouldn't have done that."

"No, no you shouldn't have," he said, hoping that she wouldn't hear the sorrow in his voice.

He studied her, properly for once. He had always liked Ukyou, not _like_ liked of course, but he had enjoyed the time they spent together as children and more recently, when she wasn't trying to force him to be attracted to her.

Could he see himself married to her? Could he see them having children together? Being happy together?

He let himself imagine it, what it would be like.

…

His mind flinched away after a few brief seconds. No. It wouldn't do. She'd quickly get sick of him and he… he couldn't see himself there with her. He wasn't… she didn't make his heart beat faster, she didn't make him feel… special (as ridiculous as the thought was), she… he suspected that she wasn't really his type.

So… what to do. He didn't want her to be unhappy.

He looked her square in the eye, "Ukyou… what do you really want from life?"

She blinked at him; obviously she hadn't expected him to ask that question.

"I… I want us to get married, to be together," she declared; but he noticed that she didn't look all that confident.

He frowned at her, "Why? I mean, aside from what my father did to you…" he wasn't sure of exactly how to word what he wanted to ask, but he would try "If it had never happened would you still want to be with me?"

She frowned, opened her mouth to say something, seemed to think better of it and looked away, appearing deep in thought. He watched her for a couple of minutes, even as she seemed to forget he was there, eventually she looked back at him, her face full of despair.

"I don't know Ranchan… I just…" she began, a bitter twist to her mouth "but it happened, didn't it?"

Yes. It happened. Another thing he could thank his father for. Another mess… another mess that his father wouldn't clean up. Maybe it was time to grow up, take responsibility, even if this wasn't his fault. He gave her a level look, "Ukyou… what do you need me for?"

She looked shocked, "But Ranchan… I need you, after what happened no other man could ever want to marry me."

Something seemed a little wrong with her logic. The more he thought about it, properly thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed. "Ukyou… You have a successful business; you're kind, smart, beautiful… any man… well maybe not _any_ man… but _most_ men would be happy to have a wife like you… so, you don't really need me."

"I… you think I'm beautiful?" she asked in a little girl's voice.

As much as it would probably lead to more misunderstandings he might as well be honest. "Yes Ukyou, you are beautiful, you're my 'cute-fiancée' remember? You're one of the prettiest girls I know…" he could see that she was about to say something stupid so he interrupted her "But just 'cause you're pretty, doesn't mean you're my type."

For a minute she looked startled before sighing and shaking her head. "I forgot for a minute. You're gay," she declared.

No. _NO_. He was sick of this particular misunderstanding. He took a deep breath, "Ukyou I just want to say once and for all, _I AM NOT GAY_! I don't care what you think, what you believe, what you've seen. I am not gay. I don't want to be a woman either. Kiyoshi is… Kiyoshi is just a friend, a friend that has gotten caught up in a tangled, sticky mess caused by our parents…and… I… I don't want to get married out of obligation," and oh, wasn't that true.

She looked at him, gobsmacked. "You're… you're not gay?" she asked, in a tiny voice; he was relieved, maybe she was finally getting the message, though he did wonder why it was only happening _now_.

Feeling tired of it all he gave her a level look, "No, No I am not gay."

"Oh…" she whispered, looking ashamed, "Then why won't you marry me?"

He looked at her; he just wanted it to be over, he just wanted to be her friend. "I don't want to marry you Ukyou; we won't make each other happy."

H

She gave him a sour, pinched look. "So you're going to marry Akane? Just _fantastic,_" she spat, with venom.

Should he be honest with her? Tell her the truth, no matter the consequences

? "No, no… Me and Akane, we've decided that we're not gonna get married." He saw her perk up, so quickly resumed speaking before she got the wrong impression, "But! The thing is… I don't want to marry you either, or Shampoo… or Kodachi, or anyone," he winced, imagining a future with the slightly less than sane Kuno girl. "I want to make up my own mind, decide for myself, who I marry. I don't want to… as soppy and as girly as this sounds, I don't want to marry someone I don't love," and it really did sound terribly girly.

She looked away, hurt, before meeting his eyes with a determined expression, "You still owe me. You and your father. For the… I won't let you get away with... with not paying me back."

He looked away, what could he do? It was his pop's fault. He felt helpless for a moment, really, truly helpless. He had to try though "I don't have any money currently, so I can't pay you back, but maybe one day… it was never a fair trade anyway, because you're worth more than any okonomiyaki cart." Wait… had he just said that… he felt himself blush; it had been way too sentimental.

The fight seemed to go out of her, she looked away before looking back to him, "Why Ranma?... Just… why can't you just do what our parents wanted? Wouldn't it just be easier, now that you're not going to marry Akane?"

That conversation that he'd had with her, with Akane, when she'd told him that she didn't want to marry him, came to mind. "Don't you want something better?" he asked Ukyou, "Something more than what our parents planned for us?"

She looked away with a frown. "I don't know Ranma… I've never really… It's been so long… I need to think about this," she began to walk away from him, "I need to think… I'll see you around."

He watched her walk away; a strange parallel to his conversation with Akane, only then he was the one who'd left. He wondered if he should call out to her, beg her to still be his friend, but his mouth remained shut.

His shoulders slumped; well that was that. Time to get back to the others.

He began to walk, barely getting a dozen steps before a voice called out "Saotome?"

Oh!...He'd almost forgotten about Mousse. He turned to face the other boy, finding him looking pensive.

"Saotome… I think I might have underestimated you" Mousse said, looking thoughtful.

"What?" he asked, confused.

Mousse shook his head, "Oh, nothing," he said, before falling silent.

Huh… ok… he began to walk again, strangely looking forward to seeing Akane and Kiyoshi again. As he walked a strange thought flashed across his mind, he realised that _at the end of the day it wouldn't even matter if he was gay, he'd never act on it; liking other boys was hardly manly. _He shook the thought away, that was the last thing he needed to dwell on, obviously what everyone was saying was starting to get to him.

When got back to where they'd left the others he found them still there, with the addition of his mother who was… she was talking to Kiyoshi… _at _Kiyoshi (Kiyoshi looked like his mind had wandered off some time before)… but there was something about her body language that was radiating hostility at Akane. It was then that he realised that Nabiki was gone; he only vaguely wondered where she was, because Nabiki wasn't exactly his favourite person.

When she saw him his mother perked up, smiling widely and calling out "Ranko! Where have you been?"

He gave her a slightly stilted smile, "Auntie Saotome, sorry about that."

"That's ok Ranko, where has… Ucchan? (_Was that his name?_)... gone?" she said.

Thinking quickly he said "Sh… _He_ said he was meeting someone else, so he had to go," that sounded reasonably plausible didn't it?

"Oh…" she said, "Well ok then. Let's get going, there's a couple other shops I wanted to go to."

Er… ok, shopping was possibly the most boring activity ever, but he _had_ said that he'd spend the day with her. She smiled and said goodbye to Kiyoshi, said a stilted goodbye to Akane, ignored Mousse and began to walk off down the street. He turned to face Akane and Kiyoshi, waved awkwardly and trotted off after her.

They walked along in silence for a while before she suddenly stopped and spun to face one of the shop windows. "Oh Ranko! How beautiful…" she sighed.

He turned to look at what she was gushing over and felt his face twitch. A western style wedding dress… he hoped she wasn't thinking anything too weird.

000

(_Ukyou's POV_)

Oh…

She didn't know whether or not she believed him, when he said he wasn't gay, but she was so sick of arguing about it.

She needed to think. What he'd said about deserving something better…

Maybe he was right, she didn't know; she'd just always assumed that they'd…

But she wasn't… when she'd kissed him… and she didn't know if that was because he'd been female at the time, or if she wasn't actually attracted to him.

Had she just been forcing the issue, with herself and him, when she hadn't really known how she felt?

Was she even attracted to him?

She knew that she liked him; he was nice, kind, a little silly at times. He always seemed to do his best for her… and he called her cute… but…

If they got married, then they'd have to… at least if they wanted any children…

Her mind flinched away from the thought, he was like a brother to her… but that was something she could get over, the only question was whether or not she wanted to.

Maybe it would be better just being his friend…

Maybe.

000

(_Happosai's POV_)

The exquisite silken bustier kept disappearing. He had first seen it trapped on the roof of Furinkan High School, its laces hanging down in forlorn tangles.

He had, of course, gone to rescue it but it had moved in the seconds it had taken for him to reach the roof; looking around he had spotted it perched on a tree branch not that far away.

Thus had started the great chase.

Every time he almost caught it, it would disappear. He was beginning to get frustrated; it was a gorgeous, sexy thing that he would love to add to his collection.

He caught a flash of magenta out of the corner of his eye and when he turned to look he found the bustier hanging off one of the street lights, its white fabric shimmering in the sun.

000

(_Genma's POV_)

Sweeping was boring. Tedious, dull, mind numbing.

It was also giving him far too much time to think. Every stupid decision, every act of unthinking cruelty… Kiyoshi Kurosawa had really got to him.

He sighed and put some more effort into moving the broom; after he was done here Mrs. Abe needed him to repair her roof.

Menial labour; not something he had ever enjoyed. But he needed the money to buy the boy some new clothes and he was just a little too comfortable here in Nerima to do what he had traditionally done when he needed money.

He didn't need to be forced to move on like he would be if he went and stole something.

Sometimes he really wished he had put some effort in when he was younger; he could be a doctor now, or a lawyer, or own his own business… instead he was here, sweeping someone's front step because he had no real job skills.

Oh well, you reap what you sow. Maybe it was time to take a closer look at his life; where it was going and where it had been.

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

Nabiki had returned the minute that Nodoka had left; it was a little strange, but she was probably avoiding the older woman, which was something he could almost understand. There was something… he wasn't sure he liked Nodoka that much.

He sighed. He wished he'd followed Ranma, even if Nodoka probably wouldn't have liked that, at least that way he wouldn't have ended up Akane's pack mule. Why had he agreed to this again? Oh yes, nothing better to do.

At least they were almost done now; soon they would be heading back to the Tendou Dojou where he could… _do nothing and wait for Ranma to return_.

Maybe he needed a life. A life outside of Ranma…

Or not. He didn't really like most people.

Ranma… he liked Ranma. Liked Ranma so much that he probably needed to do something about it; his mind (or his body, or whatever part of him was leading him around these days) didn't seem to care that Ranma wasn't interested or that he'd promised both himself and Ranma not to push the issue.

It was… foolish, probably.

Ranma had been using him as a human shield earlier, and he'd found it… if it had been anyone else, he would have found it unbearably irritating, but when Ranma did it…

He'd become distracted by the warmth he could feel radiating off Ranma's body, his (her?) smell, the sun glinting off the red hair if his female form…

He was pathetic. A pathetic, besotted fool.

Oh well, he knew that he didn't have forever; that Ranma would eventually find someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and when that happened he would have to step back…

So he might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

He could smell her; she was wearing some light, summery perfume. It was nice. Very nice.

He could feel the heat of her body as she walked next to him.

If he looked over he could see her attractive profile, her straight nose and full bottom lip.

They weren't speaking, but he didn't feel awkward, didn't feel pressured to impress her. It was comfortable.

The weight of her basket hung off his arm, already full of tasty looking produce. He'd offered to carry it for her; something that she hadn't accepted immediately, but had come round soon enough.

They were almost finished and then it was back to the Tendou Dojou… the funny thing was he didn't really want to go back; when they did reality would return and they were both expected to act in certain ways.

For the first time in a long time he almost regretted his playboy ways. Almost.

It was probably a fleeting thing though. He'd get over it and then it would be back to chasing the girls… he was never at peace for long.

She stopped outside a bakery, looking into the shop at the loaves of bread on display. He could see her deliberating. She started towards the shop, stopped, turned to him and pulled him down into a brief, exceedingly sweet kiss, before walking into the shop with a small smile on her face.

Oh…

000

(_Akane's POV_)

She was happy with what she'd bought… with Nabiki's money (her brain was still having trouble with _that_ idea).

Now no one could accuse her of being a bad… whatever it was that she was to Mousse… well, at least around his clothes.

She _was_ a little sorry that she'd ended up using Kiyoshi as a pack mule, but he was very good at it. Big and strong. Just what you needed when you were doing some serious shopping.

Also, it seemed, for when you needed to hide from one of your fiancées. That had been a strange interlude with Ranma earlier, she'd have to ask him what had happened next time they saw each other.

She could see the Dojou up ahead… she could also see Cologne waiting for her. Oops. Well, they had been gone a bit longer than she'd expected.

She walked over to the old woman, who was chatting amicably to a small girl holding the leash of a tiny, white dog. When the Cologne saw her she said a quick goodbye to the girl, turned to her and arched her brow with a mildly displeased look on her face.

"Sorry, I was buying Mousse some new clothes," she explained, hoping that Cologne wasn't too angry.

The old woman nodded and gave her an unexpected smile, she turned and began to walk down the street calling over her shoulder, "Follow me, its time to start your training."

Akane felt a thrill of apprehension that she hoped didn't show on her face; she wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen.

She turned to Mousse "Whilst I'm with Cologne, why don't you go put away your new clothes."

He nodded and gave her a small, stilted smile.

She smiled back and began to follow Cologne to the empty lot not that far from her house.

When they arrived they found a gaggle of young children playing in the dirt. Akane watched as Cologne gently shooed them away, amazed that they had actually listened to her.

Cologne rounded on her, studying her intently; she wondered what was going to happen next…

"Before we start… I must ask a favour from you," Cologne said, her face serious.

She nodded, "Alright."

Speaking in a rush, as if to prevent Akane from interrupting her, Cologne blurted out "It seems that I cannot trust my great-granddaughter to do her job at the Café. I need Mousse back… only on weekdays and only during the hours that you are at school. I know that it is a bit of an imposition, but you still live with your family and still attend school so I know that you do not necessarily need him full time. I promise that he will earn a fair wage that will, of course, go straight to you, and if you need him at any time I will let him go to you."

Er… what was she supposed to say? She couldn't see any problem with that, it would give Mousse something to do, but… "I… I'll ask Mousse, if he wants to then its ok with me."

Cologne looked at her as if she'd said something incredibly moving, nodding quickly and clearing her throat.

Cologne looked her straight in the eye "Now, time for training. Today I'm going to assess your existing training and what I'll have to do to fix it."

She was about to ask what Cologne meant, but the old woman launched herself at her; striking out with her stick.

Akane just managed to dodge out of the way, but wasn't fast enough to block a blow to her abdomen…

Oh… so _that's_ what she meant. Trial by combat. She prepared herself.

000

(_Nodoka's POV_)

Oh… how adorable.

They were looking into the window of one of the jewellery shops lining the street and there were the cutest little earrings, little enamelled tiger lilies that would look so lovely on Ranko… only Ranko's ears weren't pierced.

It had occurred to her that Ranko didn't have any jewellery… all girls should have jewellery… and so she'd been looking in the windows hoping to see a few small things that Ranko liked and that weren't too expensive…

She'd already spotted a nice little bracelet, a fine filigree link made out of stainless steel, as well as a couple of pretty rings on sale… but it was the earrings that she really wanted to buy for the girl.

Maybe, just maybe, she could convince Ranko to have her ears pierced.

000


	27. Sidelines

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 27: Sidelines.

Rating: Teenishish

Disclaimer: I get sick of trying to work out new ones of these. You know what this is for, you know what goes here, just pretend I've done it.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

Sorry everyone, this got done much later than I had planned. I've been having some internet problems since the last chapter went out so I have a proper excuse for not getting back to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Its fine now, fixed, _yay_.

I absolutely _hate_ not being able to access the internet.

This chapter may be a little disappointing to anyone who is really hanging out for Ranma – Kiyoshi interaction, but it _is _coming.

Final Note:

Thank you for reading. Thank you again if you review. Thank you for putting up with me.

_**You are all fantastic**_.

000

(_Nodoka's POV_)

Why wouldn't Ranko cooperate? She knew what was best. She did. What did Ranko know about being female?

No. No, she was just getting frustrated, she was loosing her temper. Ranko… she had to remember that Ranko had been raised in a way that was completely different to anything she was accustomed to. Who knew what Ranko's father had told her about having pierced ears.

That was the only thing she could think of that made sense. As far as she knew all girls wanted to have their ears pierced. She certainly had.

Ranko though… well, the girl was now hiding from her. It was terribly irritating. The look that had flashed across Ranko's face when she'd suggested the earrings had been on of near absolute terror. How ridiculous. How…

Well, she'd tried to convince her. Telling her how cute those earrings would look and that Kiyoshi would surely like them… and if not Kiyoshi, then certainly that other boy. Ucchan, Ranko had called him. _Ucchan_… she wondered what his proper name was.

That their was a boy that Ranko called by what was obviously a nickname, had been a strange revelation… At first a great deal of hope for Ranko had filled her heart. She'd thought it was a good sign. A great sign. Maybe Ranko wasn't completely oblivious of her own femininity, but… she hadn't seemed all that happy to be spending time with the boy…

Maybe what she'd whispered to Ranko had helped scare her off. She knew that she'd gotten a little carried away… it was just _difficult_ at times. Ranko was very strange in some ways. Like now. Instead of just insisting that she wasn't going to get her ears pierced she'd run off somewhere.

She sighed. What was she supposed to do?

Perhaps staying with the Tendous was a mistake. She was beginning to find them… _irritating… _First Akane refusing Ranma, and then Kasumi… that left only Nabiki, and she didn't really think that Nabiki would be a suitable wife for Ranma… maybe she could do something, interfere in some way, turn Nabiki into the sort of girl… it felt hopeless though. Nabiki reeked of stubborn determination.

What was she going to do? Ranma needed to marry a Tendou girl…

No. No way. She _couldn't_. It wouldn't be fair… but then… _no_. No. Sure, Ranko was a Tendou, but she wasn't Soun's daughter for one … well… maybe that wouldn't matter… no, she shouldn't think such a thing…

But then again… Kiyoshi wasn't necessarily the most sociable person; he was grumpy, scowling, quiet… would it really be fair for Ranko to end up marrying such a man, specially after all the effort that she, Nodoka, was putting into making Ranko more feminine… and she _had _said that she was friends with Ranma…

No. No. She shouldn't think such things. No…

There was still Nabiki… but if that didn't work out…

There was a little time left before… so it wouldn't do any harm to continue trying to teach Ranko how to be feminine, and she could make up her mind about who she wanted the girl to marry at a later date.

…

She wondered if she should try to find Ranko now, or wait for the girl to return herself. She looked over to the display cabinets full of jewellery in the shop…

Just because Ranko hadn't said yes now, didn't mean that she couldn't wear her down later. Her hand went to her handbag and she pulled out her purse; her eyes intently focussed on the sparkling trays on display.

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

He slipped the shorts and underwear down his legs, kicking them away from himself and into a little dejected pile by his futon. His hands went to the bottom of the t-shirt… he hesitated; there was nothing essentially wrong with the garment, it was a little tight but otherwise fine. He dropped his hands, he'd keep it on.

Half naked he walked over to the bags containing his new clothes, fishing around until he found his new underwear. He flushed a little as his mind not-so-helpfully displayed an image of Akane ferreting through the men's underwear section, it was all a little too… _intimate_.

He stepped into a pair of his new underwear and pulled them up. Fishing through the bags again he pulled out a pair of jeans. He frowned a little at the alien garment, before shrugging and stepping into the legs. The strange fabric felt odd, rough and unexpected, as he pulled the jeans up. When he'd done them up he looked down at himself.

Ok… he was now dressed like a Japanese male. He supposed that was an improvement, he just… he missed his robes.

His main issue with wearing the clothing Xian Pu had bought for him wasn't that it was clothing for _women_. No. If Xian Pu had dressed him up as an Amazon female he would feel… well, a little ashamed, he _was_ male so he shouldn't dress above his station… but there wouldn't be that overbearing humiliation.

No.

The problem with the Japanese women's clothing that Xian Pu had bought him was the lack of dignity. In fact that was one of the main problems he had with the way Japanese women seemed to dress. Short skirts; frills; lace; tight, constraining cloth; low-cut, revealing tops; tiny, little shorts… it was all patently ridiculous. His mother, or any of the other warriors of his tribe, wouldn't be caught dead wearing any of it. Well… except for Xian Pu.

But then Xian Pu was… no, he was not thinking about that.

Ok, time to put away his new clothes. He picked up the bags and took them over to the wardrobe, he opened its doors and looked inside… ok, what did he do about the remaining clothes that Xian Pu had bought for him? He wasn't completely sure so he carefully removed them and laid them in piles on his futon. He'd ask Akane's opinion later, but for now he didn't want them mixed in with his new things.

When he was finished putting everything away he stared into the wardrobe in shock… wow, he… there was… such a _lot, _more than he'd ever had before. Akane truly was a very generous person.

He bent down and gathered up all the empty bags to take downstairs and put in the bin. He opened the door and was about to step out into the hallway; he paused, turning to look at the room. A strange, small warmth erupted in his chest as his eyes roved over the space… it wasn't so bad, not really, living here.

He made his way downstairs to the kitchen, finding Kasumi and Ryu Kurosawa already occupying the room. She was putting away food from a large wicker basket and he was standing leaning against the bench gazing at her with a strange expression. When he spotted Mousse, Ryu's expression closed off and he pushed himself away from the bench and headed for the door. "I'm going for a smoke," he called out as he left the room.

Kasumi didn't say anything in reply, just gazed after him with a strange expression on her face. Ok… so that had been a little strange…

After a moment of awkward silence Kasumi gathered herself and called out to him, "Hello Mousse."

"Um… hello," he replied, feeling awkward and out of place. Kasumi made him nervous.

She gave him a sweet smile. "Do you know where Akane is?" she queried.

"Um… she's training with Ku Lon," he frowned at her; surely Nabiki must have told her?

"Oh… ok." She seemed to spot his quizzical look, "Nabiki left earlier and Kiyoshi is asleep in the dining room so no one's told me what's happening."

_Er… ok_. An idea flashed across his mind, but only if she was ok with it. "Would it be alright if I made some lunch to take to Akane?"

She gave him a funny look, tilting her head and squinting at him, before smiling and nodding, "Sure, just let me finish here first."

"Of course," he said, going to the bin and disposing of the bags. Ok, he had a few minutes to work out what he was going to cook; he wanted it to be something nice.

000

(_Nabiki's POV_)

Ah… the weather had been so _nice_ lately, which was good – she'd hate to be wearing what she was wearing in bad weather.

She had to act fast, if she wasn't careful Nodoka would be insisting she marry Ranma any day now. Which she didn't want, but if she was already _engaged _then… _So_… yes… she was going off to seduce Tatewaki Kuno… even if it was the last thing she wanted to do.

She knew she had a good figure, a better figure than either of her sisters even… not quite at Ranma's level, but then Ranma's female form was something else entirely… but while Kasumi was all willowy grace, and Akane was healthy athleticism, she'd… well, she'd inherited the _curves_ in her family.

Something that she hoped her current outfit was displaying nicely. She had, of course, taken his tastes (which seemed to lie towards a sort of natural innocence) into consideration as well as what she knew to be sexy, and was fairly sure that she had reached a reasonable compromise that didn't make her want to throw up – a pale pink shift dress and black, stiletto-heeled sandals. She looked… well, she wouldn't run around wearing this every day, but it would have to do.

She walked along with easy grace, her hips swaying gently with every step she took. She was used to high-heels; she'd made sure she could walk in them from an early age, as she'd long suspected that it could be a useful skill. A suspicion that had been confirmed the fist time that she'd seen some of the other girls from Furinkan wearing them and almost tripping over themselves. She liked those small things that made her feel superior.

Apprehension lanced through her as she approached the street where Tatewaki lived. She didn't really want to do this… no… he would be an insufferable husband at best… but she had made her decision. She took a deep breath and prepared herself…

"Nabiki?!"

_What_, that was… she turned around to look, "Hitomi?" Yes, it was her… as well as her little brother.

The other girl gave her a sweet, shy smile, "Hi… I didn't expect to see you again so soon."

"Yeah I was just…" she began, but didn't really want to tell Hitomi that she was about to attempt to seduce Tatewaki Kuno so... "What are you doing here?"

Hitomi cocked her head, "Akira wants some ice-cream so I'm taking him out to get some; we live just over there," she said, pointing to a house on the other side of the street.

"Oh…" she now knew where Hitomi lived… it was making her feel weird.

The other girl looked away and bit her lip "Do you want to come with us?…"

_Did she?..._ She felt a bit indecisive but… _Damn it_. Kuno could wait.

"Sure," she replied, smiling at Hitomi.

Hitomi smiled back and began to walk. She easily fell into step with the other girl, more than half wishing that she was wearing something else; her clothes seemed slightly inappropriate next to Hitomi's casual denim shorts and blue and white striped tank top.

They strolled along in companionable silence… even if Akira was whining loudly about being escorted to the ice-cream shop by his older sister. Nabiki looked down at the small boy, who scowled back up at her. He only sort of looked like Hitomi – he didn't have her eyes, and looked both wicked and bad tempered – but there was a familiar air to him. He obviously saw her looking because he scowled and stuck his tongue out at her. She smirked back at him, _brat_.

A flash of red and yellow across the road caught her attention. She looked over to discover Ranma, in female form, hiding behind a tree. _Er… ok?_

"Is that?..." Hitomi asked, squinting at Ranma.

"Ranma?" she queried, to which Hitomi nodded, "Yes, that's Ranma. I wonder what he's hiding from."

Her question was soon answered when she spotted Nodoka up ahead, obviously looking for someone.

"Oh…" she heard herself mutter.

Hitomi frowned at her "Who is that?"

"_That_," she pointed at Nodoka, "Is Ranma's mother…" she began to back away, "And on that note I think it's best if I disappear before she spots me." No way was she letting Nodoka get her claws into her in front of Hitomi.

She… well, not _fled_, not exactly… but she did walk away from Nodoka in a hurry. Hitomi ran to catch up with her, dragging Akira who was shouting about not getting an ice-cream. Hitomi was ignoring him so she decided that she would to.

When they were far enough away that Nodoka wouldn't spot her Hitomi turned to her and asked, "Why didn't you want her to see you?"

She looked at Hitomi, debating whether or not to tell her… before deciding _why not, Hitomi wasn't likely to go around telling people_. "Akane's decided not to marry Ranma and my older sister, Kasumi, doesn't want to either so that just leaves me, and I really, really don't want to."

"Oh… well… I'm glad," Hitomi began with a shy smile before hurriedly saying "And not just because I don't think you suit each other. It's… I saw R- Ranma and um… Kiyoshi Kurosawa together a few nights ago." At her quizzical look Hitomi continued, "My uncle runs a unadon restaurant where I work most weeknights and one night they came in. I ended up serving them and… forgive me if it's not my place to say such a thing… but they looked good together. Natural, if you know what I mean?" Hitomi was looking away from her, obviously embarrassed.

She thought about it for a moment… yes, yes she could see what Hitomi meant, there was something about Ranma when he was with Kiyoshi…

_Anyway, never mind. She'd think about it later._ "Come on, let's go get some ice-cream," she declared, striding off towards the shop.

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

He had a good idea of how Ku Lon thought, so he was fairly sure he knew where she'd take Akane to train. He reached the empty lot in time to see Akane almost succeed in blocking one of Ku Lon's attacks, stopping its momentum enough that she was simply propelled backwards instead of taking any serious injury.

He smiled softly to himself at the expression on Ku Lon's face. She looked happy, content, patient, and strong – she had always been a very good teacher and he suspected that she might have missed doing it full time since she had come to Japan.

Ku Lon launched another attack; this time Akane couldn't quite block so the blow landed, causing her to let out a grunt as the air was forced from her lungs. She stepped backwards, cradling her arm, but he knew she wasn't badly injured; Ku Lon had pulled enough of her strength to prevent real harm. Her control was one of the things that many people in their village (himself included) admired about the old woman.

"That's enough for now," Ku Lon straitening out of her battle ready pose, she turned to face him with a sad smile, "Hello Mu Tsu."

"Um… Hello Akane," he gave her an uncertain smile, "hello…" _how was he supposed to address her now?_ "…Ku Lon … er… I brought some lunch." He felt uncertain, wondering if he'd done the right thing.

"That's very nice of you Mousse," Akane said with an honest smile.

He looked away, flushing with embarrassment. There was something about having someone look at him as if he was welcome that was strangely… nice, it was _nice_. He walked over to them carrying the basket that Kasumi had leant him, hoping that the lunch he'd prepared would be appreciated. He laid out the picnic blanket, which Kasumi had also leant him, and began to unpack the food.

"Mmm… smells good," he heard Akane murmur as she watched him work.

"You can… sit down now. If-you'd-like, that is," he said when he'd finished laying out the food.

Ku Lon and Akane sat down on the blanket and he started to serve them. It was his duty in a situation like this. Observing them carefully, watching all those tiny, little unconscious signs, he determined which dishes interested them – a trick that his father had started to teach him when he was very young. His father had always said that it could be very useful in married life, and even if he wasn't married yet and maybe would never be married, it was still proving useful.

Ku Lon sighed after taking the first bite of what he'd served her, "Ah… I have missed your cooking Mu Tsu."

"Mm… it's very good," Akane added, eating with obvious relish.

He smiled softly to himself; it felt good to be complimented. They focussed on eating for a little while, or the other two did and he focussed on making sure that they had everything that they wanted, before Akane suddenly spoke up, "Ah yes… I almost forgot." She turned to face him, smiling kindly, "Mousse do you want to work at the Cat Café during the week while I'm at school?"

He was honestly surprised; that was one of the last questions he'd been expecting… _did he want to_? He thought about it for a moment, he knew that if he agreed then it would give him something to do, and it would also warn Akane some money, so… "Alright," he answered.

She studied him closely, "You sure?"

He nodded.

She smiled, "Ok, that's good then."

He noticed that she was running out of tea, so began to pour her some more.

He noticed Ku Lon frowning at him for a moment, before she nodded her head with resolution. She turned to Akane, "I think its time to discuss where we go from here with your training."

"O… Ok," Akane replied.

"You are strong, very strong, you have reasonable fortitude and you seem to very adept at spotting weaknesses in you opponent's defence…" Ku Lon started, but before Akane could let the praise go to her head the old woman declared "_But_! You are clumsy, slow, badly trained and your stamina needs work. We need to fix this." He could see Akane looking a little hurt, or perhaps insulted, but she wisely didn't speak.

"In an ideal world I would dearly like to experiment with various styles and techniques until we could work out which one/s you are best suited to, but it is not an ideal world and we do not have time…" Ku Lon reached into her pocket and removed a small, black-glass bottle… that wasn't… _was it?_... no, no, she _wouldn't_…

"This," she said, holding the bottle out so Akane could see it, "liquid, the recipe of which is top secret and contains many rare and difficult to acquire ingredients, is our best bet. It increases memory (both muscle and mind), helps build muscle mass, and stamina." She gave Akane a small humourless smile, "I would not usually suggest using it, for several reasons, not least of which being that it is usually used by the head of a family to pass on their best techniques to their heir when the family head feels she is ready to accept the burden of family responsibility." Ku Lon sighed, "I have two bottles of this… I had intended to use them to teach Xian Pu… but…" Ku Lon looked away, a pensive expression on her face. _She couldn't be suggesting… it would mean that Xian Pu…_

Suddenly Ku Lon pinned Akane with a sharp look "Do not think that this will instantly make you invincible; we are only using it to address the deficiencies in your training." Akane looked as if she was about to protest but Ku Lon just bowled over her "It is not without consequence either… _One_, you will be extremely tired, extremely sore, and extremely hungry after you use it. _Two_, you will be able to remember virtually everything that happens to you while you have it in your system with crystal clarity. _Three_, it will drastically increase your metabolism, so you will have to eat somewhere around twice as much, if not more… I am _serious_ about this. Women have died, _starved to death_, not eating enough when training with this drug. _Four_, you can only take it for four days at a time, any longer and it will begin to degrade your body and may prove fatal. You must also wait for at least two weeks before taking any more."

Akane looked very unsure. "Are you sure it's safe?" she asked.

Ku Lon met her gaze, "No. No it's not safe, not entirely. Few things actually are. However I know what I'm doing so you won't come to any harm."

"Alright," Akane said, not sounding all that certain.

"Good… I'll administer the first dose in about half an hour, that will give you a little time to digest your lunch…" the old woman turned to him, "Will you be staying Mu Tsu?"

He looked at them both and nodded his head. He wanted to see this, see how Akane improved.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

Damn it. Just…

He needed to get away from her, it was far, far too easy to become… _comfortable_. Happy… to forget who he was, _what_ he was… that no woman would ever really… would ever really want to be with him, _love _him (and that thought sure as hell made him feel like a girl)…

Not with what he was.

Damn it all.

He pushed himself away from the front of the Tendou Dojou, stalking away off down the street.

He wasn't weak. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't going through all that again. He was going to prove it too…

He was going out, going to find a girl (maybe two), and then going to talk his way into her bed. Yes. Yes indeed…

He didn't need anyone, not for longer than a night. No… he was…

He wasn't lonely. No. Not at all. He was fine, perfectly fine, fine just the way he was.

He was…

Yes…

000


	28. Brief Departure

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 28: Brief Departure.

Rating: Teenishishish…

Disclaimer: Disclaimer.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

Hi, this bit's done…

Come Monday the next OUA study period starts so I will be a bit busy while I acclimatise to my new units so it may be a bit before the next is done.

Sorry.

Final Note:

Thank you for reading. Thank you again if you review. Thank you for putting up with me.

_**You are all fantastic**_.

000

(_Ranma's POV – still female_)

The sight of the approaching Tendou Dojou filled him with relief, finally, _finally_, this had been a very long, very irritating day and he was tired beyond belief. He looked over to his mother, who was walking along to his left, she could be…

No, he shouldn't think about her like that. She was his _mother_.

It had taken her a while, but eventually she'd found him after he'd run off. She'd been surprisingly understanding about the fact that he'd run away; apologising for being insensitive and pushing him. That had been kind of nice, but then she'd started dragging him around again from shop to shop; looking in windows and at displays and always with her asking his opinion and if he wanted anything. He didn't of course.

Eventually, long after his mind had started to go numb, the shops had started to close and she'd decided it was time to go back to the Tendou Dojou. He was looking forward to getting back. He was hungry, had that brain-boiled-in-vinegar feeling that long periods of intense boredom gave him, and he was deeply looking forward to spending some time in the company of people who knew he wasn't actually a girl.

He opened the door, sighing with relief when the smells, sights and sounds of the Tendou Dojou washed over his senses. It felt like home, or as much like home as any place had ever felt. He toed off his shoes and walked further into the house, heading for the dining room.

He found Nabiki sitting in front of the television watching another one of those annoying programmes she liked, Kiyoshi lying on the floor half watching it as well, Akane lying half draped on the table looking thoroughly exhausted with Mousse hovering near her looking as if he wanted to fuss over her but wasn't sure if he'd be welcome. Neither his old man nor Soun Tendou were present, and it was then that it occurred to him how much things had changed.

Not that long ago, before Kiyoshi had turned up, the scene would be very different. His pop and Soun would be over at the shougi board playing their eternal game, Nabiki would still be doing the same thing but he and Akane would probably be fighting just about now. It… he liked this version of his life better, even if his mother's presence meant he was trapped in female form all the time.

Speaking of his mother… "I'll just go check on Kasumi, see how she's going with dinner," she called out from the hallway. He heard her move away into the kitchen.

He turned his attention to the room; Kiyoshi was smiling softly up at him, Nabiki hadn't pulled her attention from the television, Mousse was still focussed on Akane, and Akane herself was giving him an exhausted smile.

"Hiya Ranko, how was your day?" Akane asked.

"It was… alright," he replied, not wanting to say that the day he'd spent with his mother was one of the most boring days he could remember, "How was yours? You look…"

Akane sighed, "Exhausting, I was training with Ku Lon."

"Mmm? He had to be careful of what he said in reply, he didn't want to accidentally insult her, "Make any progress?"

She looked pensive, "I don't know…"

He didn't know what to say to that, but before he had to say anything his mother returned, looking put out. "That Kasumi…" he heard her mutter, and judging from the look on Akane's face and the minute tensing of Nabiki's shoulders he wasn't the only one. "_Well_… dinner is almost ready," Nodoka almost… _hissed_.

He wondered what had gotten to her…

He decided that it was time to sit down, instead of standing around aimlessly. Unconsciously he walked over to Kiyoshi's side, taking a seat next to the taller boy. Kiyoshi's body heat radiated out of the boy and into his side relaxing his muscles. He felt… better now, almost tranquil.

He turned his attention back to his mother, she looked… unhappy? Dissatisfied? He wasn't sure, but her eyes were cold as she swept them around the room, though they warmed a little when they landed on him. A chill ran up his spine… he didn't like her looking at his… _why did his mind want to say __**family**_... friends, like that.

"Did you have a good day Akane?" his mother asked, not really looking all that interested in the answer.

"Sort of, it was a little…" Akane began, before Nodoka interrupted her.

"That's nice." She went silent after that, starting at the television with a bitter twist to her mouth.

Soon enough Kasumi, looking strained, entered the room with the plates. She laid them on the table and then left the room, returning shortly carrying the food. "Mr… _Panda…_ isn't back yet?" she asked, looking around.

"No, no he's not. I wonder where he could have gone." Nodoka replied, before anyone else had the chance to speak.

"Hmm…" murmured Kasumi as she gracefully sat down. "Well… shall we eat?"

He scooted over to the table and ended up sitting next to Kiyoshi. He helped himself to the food, using his speed to his advantage and then settled down to a tasty dinner watching Mousse serve Akane. Mousse was _fast_, there had been a few moments of near conflict between them when he was getting his own food and he was honestly impressed by Mousse's speed. It was interesting; he had never seen anyone do what Mousse was doing and all he could think was that it was amazingly considerate.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see a look of distaste on his mother's face and he wondered _why_?… what Mousse was doing for Akane wasn't exactly normal in Japan, but he would have thought that she was more open minded than that… or maybe that was _hoped _that she was more open minded, he wasn't sure.

Dinner was a silent affair. The people who'd usually be responsible for talking where all either absent or silent. Nabiki was unusually distracted, Akane was far too tired to speak (though it didn't seem to stop her from shovelling anything that appeared in her bowl straight into her mouth), Kasumi was staring pensively at the wall, Ryu was elsewhere, as was his pop and Soun Tendou, Kiyoshi was his usual silent self, he didn't feel like talking if no one else was going to speak, and his mother seemed to be content enough to sat primly and look like she'd rather be elsewhere.

He was starting to feel full and a little sleepy (which he was sure was a reaction to his earlier boredom) when his old man came home. He heard the front door open, heard someone (who he could recognise as his father in panda form from the sound of the footprints) stomp up the stairs, walk around for a few minutes upstairs, and then come stomping down the stairs, down the hall and into the dining room.

The look on his old man's face when he saw that they were almost finished dinner was pretty funny. He grabbed a bowl and stole anything that was left over that Mousse didn't manage to make off with first. He watched his pop and Mousse tussle briefly over a particularly mouth-watering morsel before Mousse stabbed his old man in the paw with an excess chopstick he'd gotten from god-knows-where and elegantly delivered the food onto Akane's plate.

He found himself smiling; it looked like Mousse would fit right in.

After everyone was finished Kasumi gathered up the dishes with Mousse's help and left to finish cleaning up. Nabiki turned on the television again, tuning in to another soap opera and started to make some half-hearted notes in a notebook that she had been sitting on.

He found himself getting drowsier and drowsier. Half consciously he watched his old man leave the room, heard his mother call out "I think I'll have an early night," before leaving too, and saw Akane start to snooze sitting up. Just looking at her made him feel tireder and he found himself slumping into Kiyoshi's warmth as the world went dark and he fell asleep.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

The single malt scotch slid smoothly down his throat. It promised oblivion, sweet oblivion, but he'd have to drink a considerable amount more before that promise could be fulfilled.

Didn't matter though, he had no other plans for the night. No…

He'd gone out, gone looking for a bit of fun… found himself bored with the girlies, bored with the _sights_, the sounds, the smells… all that cloying perfume…

Eventually he'd ended up here, at his mother's hostess bar, getting drunk on her finest scotch and watching the clientele. It was amusing, it had always been amusing. He hoped like hell he wasn't so embarrassing when he was with a girl.

There were some new girls, ones he hadn't met before so they were obviously Nerima recruits, but of the three that had come to Nerima with them, Mayu (Two) was clinging to a middle-aged, fat, balding banker, and simpering at everything he said. He looked rich, and she'd always liked money.

Hanako (Three) was delivering her usual (if somewhat unusual) service and haranguing a small, weedy, little man. A teacher or salary man he would guess. Hopping into him about his posture, his hair, his clothes, his cologne, his glasses… men who missed their nagging wives or overbearing mothers went to Hanako, she made them feel right at home.

Kaede (One) walked over to him, carrying the bottle of scotch he'd left behind the bar. He'd known her for years now, they'd gone to school together, been in the same class… hell they'd even had a brief relationship before Kana… and after… well, they'd slept together a couple of times in the intervening years, even after she'd started to work for his mother.

She eased herself into the seat across from him, plunking the scotch and an empty glass down on the table. She poured herself a decent shot and downed it in one gulp, slamming the glass down onto the table and pouring herself a new one, which she took a delicate sip from.

"So… What is it? A girl?" she asked, in her usual blunt manner.

He arched his brow at her, not deigning to reply.

She rolled her eyes, "Don't give me that. I know you Ryu, I know that look on your face… Who is she? Is she pretty?"

He didn't know what to say. _Was there a girl?_ Should he talk about Ranma?… about Kasumi?... he didn't know. He just… he was confused.

She smiled at him, her face a picture of understanding, "It's alright. Never mind." She picked up the bottle of scotch and refilled his glass, "Just… just promise me something Ryu… don't let Kana… don't let her ruin everything, don't let her run your life. I know it was bad… and what she _did_… but not every woman is like her. Don't let her make you live your life lonely."

He didn't know how to respond, what to say. He studied her for a moment, looking into her earnest eyes… before nodding. She was right, he couldn't let Kana win. He _wouldn't_ let Kana win… but what that actually meant?...

He sighed and lifted the glass to his lips once more. He was conflicted… maybe the liquor would help simplify things. He let his mind wander as he drank; paying only vague attention to Kaede as she told him about the newest trick his mother was playing on Happosai.

Life had been so much simpler before they'd come to Nerima.

000

(_Ranma's POV- female._)

_It's hot; the sun is beating down on him from above, the air is still, there is no breeze. He can hear cicadas and smell something sweet and floral. Some type of flower he thinks._

_He is sitting on a large rock in a sluggish river, his feet dangling in the cool water. His hands are flat on the warm stone, and he kicks his feet, splashing water at Kiyoshi who is standing waist deep in the water._

_Kiyoshi smirks at him, splashing back and dousing him in cold water. It feels nice against his overheated flesh so he gracefully slips off the rock and into the water. He makes his way over to Kiyoshi and smiles up at the larger boy, his hand reaching out towards Kiyoshi's face…_

The dream washed out of his mind as he came awake with a start, finding Kasumi standing over him with an apologetic look on her face. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you, I was just looking for _this_," she said quietly, holding up a black, leather-bound book.

He was lying on the floor of the dining room, which was strange, but the stranger thing was the warmth against his side, he looked over to find Kiyoshi lying next to him fast asleep, and covered with a blanket that had obviously been partly covering him before he sat up.

_Oh…_

Kasumi must have seen his confusion because she gave him a sweet smile and said, "You both fell asleep down here last night and I didn't have the heart to wake you, so I covered you up with a blanket and let you be." He felt himself flush; he'd been sleeping next to Kiyoshi all night.

Kasumi turned to leave the room, calling out over her shoulder "It's still fairly early and breakfast won't be ready for a while, but you can go have a bath if you want."

He might as well; he didn't think he would be getting any more sleep any time soon. Feeling an unsettling sort of reluctance he made his way out of the nest he'd made with Kiyoshi and to his feet. The other boy mumbled something sleepily and shifted, gathering the blanket into his arms, but didn't awaken. He looked down at Kiyoshi for a moment feeling something… something that he didn't have words for. Tearing himself away he made his way out of the room.

As he padded down the hallway towards the stairs something kept niggling at his mind… something… he didn't know what it was. _Something he'd been dreaming maybe_? He shook the feeling away; it didn't matter.

He made his way upstairs and crept into the bedroom he shared with his father, being careful not to wake his old man. He didn't really want to have a talk with Genma about where he'd spent the night, which was stupid thought, because it made him sound guilty of something he definitely wasn't guilty of… _Ok, time to stop thinking, this is just making it worse._ Feeling unsettled at the direction his mind had just taken he steeled himself to deal with the horror of his wardrobe.

Reaching inside he once more reached for the nearest not-too-embarrassing clothes, coming out with a white cotton peasant blouse and a pair of jeans. He then stuck his hand in his underwear drawer and removed a pair of plain pink panties and a new sports-bra, as the other one needed a wash by now.

He crept back out of the room and back downstairs, heading towards the bathroom. He quickly stripped off his sleep rumpled clothes and looking longingly at the steaming water in the bath doused himself in cold water. A sudden, strange sense of familiarity flashed across his senses… _yes; there was something in his dream…_

The sensation was fleeting and was gone before he'd made any progress. He shrugged and began to work up a lather, washing quickly. The weather may have been nice recently but washing in cold water was still unpleasant. He dried off, got dressed and left the bathroom, realising that he didn't know what to do now.

Without thinking about it he found himself standing in the doorway of the dining room, staring at Kiyoshi, who was still fast asleep on the floor. _Should he wake him?_ It _was_ a school day and the other boy would probably have to go back to his own house for a uniform. Kiyoshi took the choice away from him by waking up while he was watching and Ranma found himself briefly caught by the other's gaze. It was only brief though, and the sensation dispelled when Kiyoshi blinked sleepily. Blushing, though not really sure why, he looked away.

"Hey," Kiyoshi called out in greeting as he stretched and sat up.

"Morning," he replied, unable to contain a small smile at Kiyoshi's ridiculously rumpled appearance.

Kiyoshi moved the blanket aside and stood, stretching again, he looked around, arched his brow and then checked his watch. "Ah… I should be getting home," he said, "I'll see you at school, Ok?"

"Alight," he replied, not wanting Kiyoshi to leave, but without a good explanation of why that was.

Kiyoshi nodded, looking reluctant, and started to walk towards him. He realised that he still standing in the doorway so he moved out of the way so that Kiyoshi could pass. The heat radiating off other boy's flesh burned into him as Kiyoshi walked past, and suddenly he was hyper-aware of Kiyoshi. Of his heat, his smell, the sound of him breathing… It was a strange, intense moment; but it vanished as Kiyoshi moved away from him and down the hallway.

He saw Kiyoshi out, watching him walk away, before shutting the front door and wandering aimlessly further into the house. He seemed to gravitate to human company, and was soon standing in the doorway of the kitchen, watching Kasumi prepare breakfast.

Kasumi stopped what she was doing and turned to face him, she studied him with a strange look on her face, one that was making him feel highly self-conscious, before smiling and tilting her head. "Do you want to give me a hand with breakfast?" she asked.

That was a question that he hadn't expected so he stared stupidly at her for a few seconds. He thought about it… _what else did he have to do?_ He suspected it would be a while before everyone else roused themselves and at least cooking wasn't boring.

"A… alright," he replied with a small voice.

She smiled at him and said "Ok, finely slice these," pointing at some spring onions on the bench, "and when you're done these," she pointed to another pile of vegetables, "all need to be sliced, though not as finely as the spring onions."

He nodded and got to work, letting the rhythmic work lull him. It didn't take long before he had finished slicing things so Kasumi set him to another task, and then another. They worked together in relative silence except for her directions and he found himself totally at ease in her company for the first time ever. It was nice… _serene_.

Soon enough everyone else started to stir so Kasumi told him to go set the table while she finished cooking. He had just set the bowls out when the phone rang.

Kasumi called out, "Ranko, can you get that?"

Shrugging he picked up the phone, "Hello, Tendou residence."

There was nothing but the sound of quiet, stifled sobs for a couple of seconds before a timid, wavering female voice spoke, "H… Hello… um… is Nodoka Saotome there? She… she said this was where she would… would be staying."

He frowned, _this person wanted to talk to his mother?_ "Yes she is, I'll go get her shall I?"

The woman on the other end gave a little hiccup sound before whispering, "Yes, please… please do that."

He put the phone down and went in search of his mother, finding her halfway down the stairs wearing a bathrobe. She smiled when she saw him and said "Good morning Ranko."

"Good morning Auntie Saotome," he replied, "There's a phone call for you."

She blinked, "Oh…" and went to the phone.

He was trying not to listen but as he was in the middle of setting the table he couldn't exactly leave the room so he heard her side of the conversation.

"Hello,"

"…"

"Oh! Tamiko, how are you?"

"…"

"What? He said?..."

"…"

"Shh, shh, calm down, it's ok…"

"…"

"Oh dear, he didn't…"

"…"

"He hit you?!"

"…"

"No, No… I really think you should go to the…"

"…"

"Ok, I'm sorry; I know he's your son…"

"…"

"Yes… I understand, with Uyeda in Hong Kong…"

"…"

"Yes, I'm not that far away, I'll be there in about… maybe an hour or two, I won't be long. If he comes back go next door to Mrs. Sho's."

"…"

"Don't argue. Now, I'll see you soon."

"…"

"Goodbye Tamiko." She hung up.

"Oh dear…" she said, her hand going to cover her mouth.

"What's wrong Auntie Saotome?" he asked.

"My friend… the one I was staying with before I came here… her son is… Oh, it's terrible! She needs me to go help her because her husband is overseas on business."

_Oh…_ that didn't sound very good. "Are you sure you'll be alright Auntie Saotome?"

"Yes, yes," she muttered, not really paying attention, "I'll be fine. Now I really have to go get ready." She left the room in a hurry.

He shrugged and went back to setting the table. _Maybe she would be gone for a couple of days, which would be good;_ it would mean he could spend some time in his male form.

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

He was on his way to the Cat Café for his first day of work while belonging to Akane. She was still very tired from training the day before and had slumped against the table during breakfast. He had done his best to ensure that she got enough to eat, but he hadn't woken up in time to cook her something himself so he had some stiff competition for the food.

The breakfast table had seemed strangely empty without Nodoka Saotome, Kiyoshi Kurosawa or Saotome's father who was apparently sleeping in. Saotome's mother had left before breakfast and everyone seemed somewhat more relaxed than they had been. Akane's older sister Nabiki had been chatting away happily and her eldest sister Kasumi had even made a few jokes.

He had been going to walk Akane to school, but she had told him that it was alright if he went ahead to the Café, so here he was…

He pushed open the door and stepped inside. Ku Lon looked up from the table she was setting and smiled.

"_**Good morning Mu Tsu**_" she called out to him.

"_**Good morning**_," he replied.

"_**You'll be working in the kitchen, I have hired a couple of new waitresses so everything will be fine even if Xian Pu does not show up again,**_" she said just as a couple of girls he had never seen before came out of the back.

He nodded, greeted the girls – who giggled for some obscure reason – and made his way to the kitchen. He began to set out his tools and prepare things for lunch hour.

He was absorbed in his work when Xian Pu showed up, looking sour. He looked at her, expecting to feel that thrill of love that she always inspired in him, but for some reason his heart was still… He knew that he still loved her, he _had_ to still love her, so he was disconcerted when her presence didn't lighten his heart. _Oh well, it had been a stressful couple of days._

"_**Good morning Xian Pu**_," he greeted her, but she did not respond, only glared at him.

Xian Pu began to work as well, and for an hour or so they worked in silence – an awkward, uncomfortable, sullen silence. He did notice, though he didn't know what to make of it, that Xian Pu was being unusually clumsy. She kept knocking things over – usually into his path – and had accidentally elbowed or hit him several times.

By the time the Café was almost ready to open for lunch everything was ready, the large pots that they boiled their noodles in were steaming away, vegetables and meat were cut ready to cook, dumplings had been made, sauces were laid out… all they needed were some orders to fill.

When the Café opened the orders came hard and heavy – The Cat Café was one of Nerima's most popular restaurants – and they were soon absorbed in cooking.

He was just retrieving some Ramen noodles from the pot when Xian Pu knocked him and the pot, sending boiling water and noodles across the floor and scalding his arm. He yelped and rushed to the tap, running cold water on the burn.

"Oh, so sorry Mu Tsu, was accident," she simpered, but there was something about her face…

_No, NO_! She couldn't have… oh no, he couldn't believe it of her… _why would she_?...

No, there was no way… It couldn't have been deliberate… _could it?_

000

(_Kasumi's POV_)

She gathered the last of the things she would need. Today she was going to be teaching a new student, a girl she had never met before. She hoped it went well, not every girl wanted to listen to her accumulated knowledge.

She double checked the address that she'd written in her leather bound organiser, she didn't want to show up at the wrong house. Looking at the book brought her mind back to this morning, when she'd gone into the dining room in search of it and had discovered Ranma curled up asleep in Kiyoshi's arms. It had been very cute… but she suspected that Ranma wasn't even aware of what had happened…

Ranma…

The poor boy, he was really very sweet… it was such a pity that his parents treated him the way they did, he really deserved better in life.

He couldn't see it of course, most children from that sort of environment couldn't… his father exploited him dreadfully, though she didn't think that Genma was a bad man deep down – a _supremely selfish_ man perhaps – but she didn't think he was deliberately cruel, Nodoka on the other hand… that was a woman who had a great deal of trouble accepting different points of view and different ways of thinking.

She just… as far as she was concerned if you weren't with her you were against her… and she was treating Ranma like some sort of _pet_. Kasumi knew that the woman was probably lonely and using Ranma to sate her maternal urges, but she really did worry that the woman would get sick of him, especially if he didn't cooperate with all her plans. That was something that would devastate the boy, he was so _needy_…

She sighed; people were…

Such a mess people made of other's lives.

She picked up her basket and made her way out of the kitchen. She was just in time to see Genma walk out the front door… she wondered what he was up to, he had been acting strange for the last couple of days…

She headed for the door herself but before she made it the phone rang. _What could she do? _She had to answer it, there was no one else there that could. She put her basket down and went in search of the phone.

"Hello, Tendou residence."

"Kasumi… its Auntie Saotome."

"Hello Auntie Saotome."

"Look… I'm afraid that I am going to have to stay with my friend for a couple of days, so can you apologise to Ranko for me?"

"Of course, I hope everything is ok?"

"Yes… everything… well, we'll work it out. Good bye Kasumi."

"Good bye Auntie Saotome."

_Click_, she hung up.

She looked down at the phone… well, that was probably for the best. It would give Ranma a chance to relax. She picked up her basket and went on her way.

The nice weather was still holding out so her walk was a pleasant one. There were other people out, going about there business. She found herself looking at the young women she passed, wondering whether or not they were Ryu's type… and then wondering why she cared.

It had been a one time thing, that was all, nothing serious. Which he'd proved by disappearing the night before. She wondered where he was, who he was with, and then berated herself for it. It was none of her business… no…

None of her business.

000

(_Somewhere not that far from Nerima_)

He hurt… he _still_ hurt. He was bruised, black and blue and starting to turn green, but his arm was getting better now, as was his mobility.

He healed fast, which was a relief. When you travelled as much and as widely as he did injuries could really get in the way.

Now… all he had to was work out where he was… he was thinking England, maybe?

000


	29. Count Down

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 29: Count Down.

Rating: Teenishishish…

Disclaimer: Not mine, and I'm broke anyway.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

GAH… The last… however long it's been since I finished the last part has been a bit… _unpleasant_… Yes. I am _**So very sorry**_that I didn't get back to everyone that reviewed but chaos descended virtually the moment I got it out. Blech.

Anyway… writer's block mostly conquered, depression over with (I have very bad genes for such things), time acquired… _huh_, I started writing this last Tuesday when I was trapped in the kitchen (renovations) and have now _finally _gotten it finished.

Sorry.

Final Note:

Thank you for reading. Thank you again if you review. Thank you for putting up with me.

_**You are all fantastic**_.

000

(_Nabiki's POV_)

She felt strange, _conflicted_...

She knew that she needed to proceed with her plans, but she couldn't quite bring herself to... It was Kuno... _Tatewaki_... she just... Well, to be honest, the idea of voluntarily putting herself into such a situation with such an idiot of a man was becoming increasingly distasteful.

Only in the last couple of days had she realised that if she was going to spend the rest of her life with someone she would prefer them to be someone that she could have at least a _mildly_ intelligent conversation once in a while. They had nothing in common, _nothing at all_... and sure, he _was_ rich, but he didn't treat his money with anything approaching the respect that it deserved. He was always spending it on stupid frivolous things...

Like pictures of Ranma or her sister...

Anyway, she was pretty sure that if she _did _ever marry him it would end with her paying someone to get rid of him. Hmm... Maybe that wouldn't be _too_ bad... she'd make damn sure that she was going to inherit first...

_No_, she did have _some_ standards. _Murder_ was... Well, she'd known him for most of her life now; it _would_ be a little cruel, a little wrong, leave her feeling a little... _guilty_.

So... yes... she was conflicted.

She needed to clear her mind. To stop thinking about it. She needed...

She looked out across the schoolyard, towards her sister, who was eating lunch with Ranma and Kiyoshi... towards the group of boys sitting not that far away from Akane's group and _watching_ them... towards the groups of girls, sitting here and there, giggling and gossiping... eventually she focussed on the group lead by Yuuka and Aoi...

Aoi was talking, gesturing with her hands and laughing every now and then; Yuuka was doing her nails and nodding along, interrupting every now and then to declare something that she thought to be witty, but was in fact more often than now _cruel_. There were a couple of other girls with them, pretty in a generic sort of way, but obviously _followers_, and then there was Hitomi...

Her body language was so very different than the last time Nabiki had seen her, in fact it was completely inverted. She was huddling, trying to make herself seem smaller, her arms crossed over her waist in a defensive way, she was looking down and away and she flinched when Yuuka spat out something that earned her a loud raucous laugh...

Being with Hitomi had been nice, as a rule she didn't trust most people... didn't trust their motives or their greed... but Hitomi was different. A relief from all that second guessing she had to do when she was interacting with most people. So... since she liked Hitomi, and wanted to be her friend... _why was she letting Yuuka and Aoi have something she wanted?_ She never let Yuuka and Aoi have anything she wanted. _Never_. So... _What was she going to do about it?_

She was not meek, she was not cowed… the world was her oyster, hers to crack open and search for pearls, and if anyone was a pearl in amongst all the smelly shellfish it was…

Hitomi…

Though her mind kept trying to resist looking too closely at why she thought that way about Hitomi. Coming to a decision she gracefully rose to her feet and began to walk towards the other girl.

000

(_Hitomi's POV_)

She sighed, lunch was half over and the others had left her behind to clean up their mess while they went to flirt with some of the boys. _Typical_. _What was she? Their maid?_ They all seemed to go out of their way to ensure that their lunch made the most mess possible. She gathered up the wrappers from the low-fat, low-carb, no-sugar, faux-food that Yuuka would inevitably end up throwing up later as well as the disposable plastic box that had held Aoi's salad and the various other refuse from the other girls. None of them seemed to eat a proper lunch; her own bento box from home was already neatly tucked away and she often wondered why the others couldn't bring their own food instead of always buying things… but then they did like to tease her about what she ate, always saying it was too fattening.

She knew she was well within the healthy weight for her height, but that didn't stop them. Why would it when they were all dieting, when Yuuka was doing her best to bring her own weight down to an unhealthily low 39 kg (appx 85.9 pounds) and Aoi was following suite with an only slightly less worrying goal of 43 kg (appx 94.7 pounds). They were fine as they were, they were… it was insane, but they wouldn't listen to her.

She shook her head as she made her way to the bin; she dumped their mess and turned to finish packing up their things only to find Nabiki standing in her way. The other girl gave her a strange smile that set butterflies flying in her stomach and greeted her with "Hey."

She looked to the side, blushing, and tried to smile back, "Hi."

There was a moment of silence that forced her gaze back to Nabiki, finding the other girl looking at her with a quizzical frown and rubbing her neck. "Um…" Nabiki began, winced, and then seemed to collect herself, "So… I dunno… You want to spend the rest of lunch with me?" she finished with an awkward, uncomfortable expression.

Nabiki wanted to spend time with _her?_ She had thought that the previous times were just accidental…

"_Yes_," she declared before realising how she had sounded, "I mean… if you want to?"

Nabiki smiled, huge and honestly happy… and she found her breath caught in her chest.

_Oh…_

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

He was tired… tired and _sore_.

He carefully reorganised his clothes to try to conceal the burns and cuts and bruises and scrapes decorating his flesh. He didn't know what to do… he was… he couldn't believe it, what she'd done…

Either Xian Pu had somehow become incredibly clumsy since the last time they'd worked together or she had been doing it deliberately. Even thinking about it was making him feel as though he was choking, _how could she?_ _How?_ The Xian Pu he knew… or at least _thought_ he knew would never… _never_! _Had he been blind? Was she always like this?_

He was male, he knew that, so there wasn't anything, any _rule_, that protected him from… from… from _abuse_… but he currently belonged to Akane, and she would be well within her rights to exact any vengeance she liked on Xian Pu for damaging her property. _Was Xian Pu so arrogant that she didn't even see Akane as a threat?_ It was that sort of thinking that could get a person killed. It was true that Xian Pu was currently faster, better trained and a bit stronger than Akane, but Akane was progressing in leaps and bounds under Ku Lon's tutelage.

Ku Lon was working her brutally hard but, surprisingly, Akane was keeping up. She was _determined_, so determined. He knew that she had spent a large amount of her life pursuing the martial arts on her own so she hadn't been trained properly, but she did have potential and he was looking forward to seeing her progress.

The agreement between Ku Lon and Akane had been for him to work only during the hours that she was at school so he was on his way to pick her up. As he walked towards the school he let his mind linger on his mother's soon to be visit. He was honestly surprised that she was so concerned for his wellbeing that she was coming all the way to Nerima just to check on him, it made him feel… _warm_. He hoped that she would like Akane, he didn't know what would happen if she didn't.

The school bell rang when he was a little less that a block away from the school and by the time he had reached it there were students spilling out of the gates. He stood back a little, watching them pass, until Akane, Saotome and Kurosawa walked out. He began to walk towards them, noticing a tall boy with wavy hair (he was sure he recognised him from somewhere) walking towards them with a totally ridiculous expression on his face. Before the boy got within a metre of them Kurosawa turned his face towards him and gave the boy a truly vicious glare; the boy quivered and backed away, all before either Ranma or Akane had noticed. _Huh_…

Shaking the strange event out of his mind he approached them. Akane smiled when she saw him, calling out "Hello Mousse," and some strange, cold tension that he hadn't even realised was there loosened up in his chest.

He smiled back at her, falling into step next to her, "Hello Akane," he said before letting himself follow a sudden impulse and continuing with "Did you have a good day at school?"

She nodded, "It was alright… How was your day?"

He looked away, unsure if he should tell her about how Xian Pu had been acting and what she'd done. He wanted too, he really did… but he loved Xian Pu and it would be disloyal…

"It was… fine," he replied. She nodded, frowning slightly, her eyes darting towards him; he wondered if she wanted to say something else, but nothing emerged from her lips.

They all walked together in silence for a while before Akane turned to Saotome and started to chat about their day. He didn't pay much attention to the words, he didn't feel that he needed to; instead he let their voices wash against his mind as he began to really relax. It was weird how quickly this strange situation was becoming normal for him. When they were at the turnoff for the empty lot Akane said goodbye to Saotome and they turned down it.

They found Ku Lon already there, looking pensive. She looked up when they approached; she looked partly relieved, but that was far overshadowed by the cold, consideration she was giving them. He wondered what she was thinking… and if it meant trouble for Akane.

000

(_Cologne's POV_)

She had left Xian Pu in charge of the Café; something that she was a little conflicted about. She had told the girl that it was a test, that if she handled everything well then she, Ku Lon, would consider teaching her some of her more advanced techniques. Deep down, though, she suspected that things would not go smoothly.

Xian Pu was… so _arrogant_. Such a foolish girl. She had such hopes for her too… She had always told herself that it was just a faze, that Xian Pu would grow put of it… But unless something happened soon to change the girl… She would have to reconsider her options. Heir wise.

Such a shameful thing to think… but Xian Pu's actions were likely to bring more shame in the long run. The girl was becoming corrupted; she was far too enamoured by the ways and customs of the Japanese, she was moving away from her heritage. Once upon a time such actions would be met with the strictest punishment, but their customs had changed over the years… they'd become _weak_. Weak, stupid, and frightened. _No_. She should not think it; they were still strong, the Amazons were still strong, the Amazons would always be strong.

She looked up when she heard Mu Tsu and Akane approach. Akane… Such a good student, such an obedient girl, if she could just control her temper… She suspected that with the right guidance the girl would become an Amazon that their entire tribe could be proud of; she had the seeds of wisdom, they just needed to be tended properly, encouraged to grow in the right direction…

_Hmm_…

000

(_Kasumi's POV_)

The house felt empty. It didn't matter that her father was home, even if he was curled up in bed, and that uncle Saotome had returned a little while ago, carrying a couple of shopping bags… it _felt_ empty. Empty in a draining, enervating way…

Sometimes her life felt like such a farce.

She wanted more. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, deep down inside she wanted a life of her own. She didn't want to be here, in this house, looking after everyone else, until she died. No…

After she'd gone wild she'd decided that she would always be the perfect girl, the perfect daughter… hoping somehow that it would rub the tarnish off, make her clean again… But just recently she'd begun to question whether or not she was even dirty in the first place. She knew that if one of her sister's had made the same mistakes she had that she wouldn't hold it against them. She wouldn't think so badly of them… but then she _was_ one of those people that held herself to a higher standard than she held everyone else.

She was sick of it. She was reasonably smart, fairly resourceful, somewhat attractive… maybe it was time for a proper relationship again. Maybe…

She was brought out of her thought by someone stepping into the kitchen, she turned around to find Ryu standing there, looking pretty hung-over. He winced when she made eye-contact with him and said "Er… Hi."

"Ryu… Hello," she responded, wincing a little at how cold she sounded. _Was she really that angry with him for going out and finding some other girl?_ He wasn't hers, she shouldn't think like that.

He looked away "I'm sorry, I…"

"It's alright," she interrupted him, "Fine. You don't have to answer to me."

He gave her a pleading look, "I know, I was just… I wasn't… I wasn't _with _anybody."

She cringed away from the feeling of relief in her chest. "You don't have to explain yourself Ryu," she replied, but, as ashamed of the thought that she was, she was sort of… _happy_… that he _was_ explaining himself.

He shook his head, "No… No I know, it's just… I _wasn't_. I was out drinking with an old friend of mine."

"… Alright," he really did seem to need her to accept his explanation.

He nodded, looking embarrassed, "That's… that's good…"

There was a pause, in which they both avoided the other's eyes, before she decided to take control of the situation "Ok… did you want anything?"

He looked startled that she'd spoken, "No, no… I'll just… I'll just keep you company… If-that's-alright?"

Not sure how to respond she nodded "Sure. That's… that's fine."

She went back to unpacking her basket and was almost finished when he spoke up again. "God… that all sounded pathetic didn't it?" he moaned.

She turned to him with a sympathetic smile, "A little… but don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

He smiled back at her, rakish and charming, and drawled "Oh I'm deeply comforted by that."

She arched her brow at him and gave him a cheeky smile. He snorted and looked away, but his body started to shift towards her, until he was leaning against the bench next to her. As she turned to place the last package on the bench she brushed up against him and found herself caught in his gaze.

Sweet, stupefying heat began to creep over her senses and they began to drift towards each other. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips, catching his attention, and suddenly they were so close she could feel his breath waft across her mouth…

The sound of the front door slamming dragged them forcefully out the moment and they jumped apart, looking guilty.

_Oh dear_… she'd been about to _kiss_ him.

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

As the day had progressed he'd become increasingly anxious about the phone call he'd overheard so earlier he'd rung his mother on the number she'd left him; she'd been alright, which was a relief, but she'd also said that she would probably have to stay with her friend for a couple of days, which meant he could now…

The hot water sluiced over his body bringing the change along with it. He shuddered, relieved, as he returned to his original body. It had been too long… far, far too long. He picked up the soap and began to lather himself before dumping more warm water over his head. Standing he made his way over to the steaming bath and stepped into the water; he sat down with a sigh, _oh he'd missed this_.

His pop had presented him with a couple of bags full of clothes as soon as he'd walked in the door. _Men's_ clothes. Something that he was still surprised about; _it was an entirely too nice thing for the old man to have done._ When he'd dumped the contents of the bags out on his futon he'd found some underwear, some socks, two pairs of jeans, four t-shirts and a pair of cheap running shoes.

So he was having a bath, a nice, _hot,_ bath and then he was going to get dressed, _without_ having to turn back female, and spend some good, quality time as himself for the first time in _days_.

Eventually he dragged himself out of the water and went to dry off. He got dressed with a sort of reverence – _he was male again_ – and left the bathroom. Walking towards the dining room he suddenly struck with a strange feeling of reluctance, as if something was wrong… Shaking it off he continued into the room, finding it oddly quiet and deserted.

Nabiki was absent, so the television was off, and the only other person in the room was Kiyoshi. He started to walk towards the other boy but the hesitation was back and he couldn't help think that Kiyoshi might not want him sitting next to him now that he wasn't female…

The weird anxiety he was feeling was partially washed away when Kiyoshi smiled up at him, all warm and welcoming, so he moved further into the room and sat down, his side pressing into Kiyoshi's. The warmth of the other boy's flesh had its usual effect of relaxing him, and he sighed, _things were looking up_…

Now if only things could stay like this, at least for another day orso…

000

(_Shampoo's POV_)

How dare the old woman speak to her like that, like she was some sort of child that needed constant direction or she would make a mistake… it was _infuriating_, so very infuriating, so infuriating in fact that she was still fuming about it hours later.

The stupid old woman had been gone for a long time now, on her futile mission to train her husband's uncute fiancée. Stupid. So stupid. Akane was pathetic, she would never be anything great, unlike _her_. But no… the old bat was convinced otherwise, she was even giving the stupid uncute girl the elixir that had been put aside to train _her_.

It was an insult. She was really, very _insulted_.

Bad enough that her plan involving stupid Mu Tsu had gone so far wrong, and that the stupid uncute girl had stolen him thus ruining her chances with her husband…

_Wait_… She wasn't really that pathetic. So plan A hadn't worked out, there was always plan _B_… not that she knew what plan B was, _just yet_, but she was resourceful, she'd work something out.

Yes…

Smirking to herself now that her previous depression had been washed away she finished tidying the kitchen and turned out the light. She walked back out into the empty Café and gave everything a final check. She'd closed a _little_ earlier than usual, but she really didn't see any reason why she had to lurk around all night doing something she didn't want to do just because her great grandmother had lost her mind… Especially since Mu Tsu had left earlier and she didn't have any outlet for her displeasure.

She didn't feel any guilt for punishing him like that, he more than deserved it… It was at least half his fault that she would have to make new plans to win Ranma. If he wasn't so… well, then he would have fully cooperated from the start and everything would have run smoothly.

She sighed; _everyone was such an idiot, why did she have to put up with it?_

Looking around one final time she went to the door; she was going to go out, have some fun… she wasn't needed here and she had no idea when the old woman would be back, so _why not?_

She stepped out into the cool night air and locked the door behind her, before heading out into the night.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

She was exhausted, tired beyond belief, but at the same time immensely proud of herself. The training was going well, better than she had expected. Nothing much was going to help with her innate earth-bound clumsiness, but Cologne was finding ways to work around her deficiencies.

She sat down next to Mousse at the breakfast table saying a casual hello to Ranma, who was all but sitting in Kiyoshi's lap again. It was funny… he didn't even seem to realise how close he was to the other boy… not that Kiyoshi seemed to mind. She would have thought that he might object to having another boy getting so cozy with him, but the way he was reacting to Ranma wasn't any different than it was when Ranma was a girl.

She heard a stifled chocking noise and turned to find Genma looking murderously towards his son and the younger Kurosawa. She wondered why he wasn't saying anything, Ranma's behaviour wasn't the sort of thing he would usually tolerate…

_Oh well, he'd surely get around to carrying on about it at some point_.

She'd gotten up late, as a consequence of her training, so breakfast was already on the table. She smiled at Mousse as he began to serve her, selecting what she knew to be the best parts. She was ravenously hungry so she began to stuff her face as soon as he was finished; she knew that she didn't look very elegant but the hunger made it hard for her to care.

After her initial burning hunger had been seen to she began to eat a little slower, paying more attention to her surroundings. Nabiki was looking happy in a dreamy sort of way, Ranma and Kiyoshi were both looking quite content to be sitting so close together, Genma still seemed to be choking on his own rage, her father was still in his room (and she was really starting to miss him, maybe she should go see him after school…), and her eldest sister and Ryu Kurosawa were sitting next to each other… _there was something strange about them, but she wasn't exactly sure what it was_…

Shrugging it off she turned her attention back to eating. The food was so good, of course Kasumi's cooking was _always_ good, but being so hungry made it seem like it had been cooked by one of the best chefs in the country. Mousse reached out to refill her now empty bowl and as he did he banged his arm on the table. He let out a tiny pain-filled mewl, scrunching his eyes closed for a second, before gritting his teeth and going back to what he was doing.

Worried she frowned at him "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

He gave her a look like a rabbit caught in the headlights and frantically shook his head. "It's… it's nothing" he whispered, cradling his arm close to his chest.

Come on, let me see," she said, ignoring the panicked expression on his face and reaching out for the limb, frowning when he flinched at her touch and let out a quiet hiss. She carefully undid the cuff of his shirt and rolled up the sleeve, gasping at what it revealed.

"Ah… I'm…" he whimpered, trying half-heartedly to tug the injured appendage out of her hand.

"What… What happened?!" she asked in a hoarse tone, astounded at the damage to his arm.

He looked away and she could see tears welling in his eyes which he seemed determined not to shed.

"Mousse," she pleaded, "_Please_, tell me what happened?"

"Um…" he murmured, still unable to meet her eyes.

Incredibly worried and thus loosing her temper she snapped at him "_Tell me!_"

He looked back at her with frightened eyes making her feel beyond guilty before looking away with a sorrowful expression and mumbling "Xian Pu… umm…"

_WHAT?!_ He couldn't mean… "Shampoo did this?"

He squeezed his eyes shut, which caused the tears to trickle down his face, and nodded "Y… yes."

Something in her mind seemed to snap. Feeling cold and distant from her body she got to her feet and walked towards the door.

"Akane?" Ranma called out, sounding almost… _scared?_

"_How dare she…_" a dark and terrible voice emerged from somewhere deep within her chest as she walked out of the room.

She faintly heard a flurry of rustling cloth followed by a _thump_ and the sound of footsteps and suddenly Ranma was standing there in front of her. "What are you going to do?" he asked.

She looked at him with cold, merciless eyes. "I'm going to fix this," she spat, calmly walking around him and continuing towards the front door.

"Wait…" he called out, and the burst of irritation she felt in her chest was almost a relief from how very icy cold she felt'

"What!" she snapped, rounding on him.

He smiled at her "I'll come with you."

000

(_Ai Xia Do's POV_)

She was tired, neither body nor mind had rested since she had begun this journey, but she was almost there. Just a little way left to go and she would find out of her son was alright. _He had better be alright_.

She looked out at Nerima… it seemed to be a nice enough place, but appearances could be deceptive. There was tension in her chest, she was almost there…

Ku Lon had refused to give her the address of the girl who had stolen her precious son, and had instead insisted that she go to the… _Cat Café?_... first. Irritating, but she would do as the older woman asked. Glancing down at the handwritten map she'd copied down and up again at the nearest street sign she began to walk.

000


	30. A Busy Day at the Cat Café

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 30: A Busy Day at the Cat Café.

Rating: Teeeeeennnnnniiiiisshhhhhishish…

Disclaimer: Not mine, and I'm broke anyway… so, so broke…

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

…

Um…

Hi, everyone. I hope you enjoy.

Sorry I didn't get back to everyone who reviewed sooner… I am getting entirely too slack at that.

Final Note:

Thank you for reading. Thank you again if you review. Thank you for putting up with me.

_**You are all fantastic**_.

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

Akane was really angry. Angrier than he'd ever seen her. She was virtually frothing at the mouth. It was almost hard to keep up with her as she marched through the streets, and if he'd been anyone else he imagined he would have fallen behind.

Of course, if he took to the roofs he'd get there way before her, but it seemed sort of important that he accompany her. Not that he knew _why_ of course… but maybe it was something he needed to see. Shampoo had had such a large impact on both their lives now…

He really hoped that Akane would win.

This was not his fight, so he wouldn't intervene… unless Shampoo wasn't fighting fairly (which was pretty much a given) and was going to seriously injure Akane; _then_ he'd interfere, but only if he thought Akane'd forgive him for it.

They were approaching the Cat Café, and he could see Akane getting even angrier (if such a thing was possible). Ignoring the _'Closed'_ sign Akane pushed against the door, which was surprisingly unlocked, and stormed into the restaurant; looking around slightly sheepishly he followed her.

Shampoo was standing in the middle of the restaurant, setting one of the tables. He noticed that she didn't look so good… sort of like his father after he went out and got drunk… but the expression she greeted them with when she noticed them was just as arrogant as usual.

"What uncute-girl and…" was all she got out before Akane reached out, grabbed her by the top and dragged her over.

"Why?!" Akane snarled into Shampoo's face.

Looking down at her as if she was a bug Shampoo tilted her head up and arched her brow, "_Why_ what? Uncute-girl no make sense."

Looking both broken and furious beyond belief Akane spat out "Why did you do it Shampoo? Why did you hurt him? He's never done anything but love you."

"Why it matter?" Shampoo scoffed.

"It matters because Mousse doesn't deserve to be treated like that. You had no right! _No right!_"

Shampoo looked at Akane as if she had lost her mind, "Mu Tsu is _worthless_. He a nuisance; always following, always clinging, always so, so stupid… he make me miserable. He say he love me but no do what I want him to… Mu Tsu should be _grateful_ I even touch him."

He heard a soft intake of breath to his right and turned to see Mousse and Kiyoshi in the doorway of the Café, looking as if they'd been running. Mousse had obviously heard what Shampoo had said because he looked devastated… he wondered if Mousse could _really_ have been so deluded about how Shampoo thought of him.

His attention turned back to Akane and Shampoo and he saw Shampoo raise her hand to bat Akane away. Akane didn't budge. "Stupid uncute-girl, what you think you doing? Is _you_ have no right. You no _real _Amazon, you far, far too weak; no matter what great grandmother say."

He could see Akane twitching, she was about to lose it… frankly he was surprised she hadn't cracked earlier. Clenching the fist that wasn't buried in Shampoo's top Akane, sounding much calmer than she actually was, said "So you're saying that Mousse is worthless, that _I _am worthless, and that because we are worthless you can do whatever you want to us?"

Shampoo nodded, a hideous, superior look on her face, "Yes. Perhaps uncute-girl no so stupid as look."

Akane punched her.

It was not an elegant blow, it lacked any great technique… it was all _rage_… but Akane's anger had always made her stronger, terrifyingly strong at times, and the strike propelled a startled Shampoo backwards a good three metres.

She landed on her bum, her hand going up to cradle an already bruised looking cheek. She looked as though she couldn't understand what had happened, as if being struck by Akane was not only unexpected but completely absurd.

Her confusion didn't last long, seconds really, and soon enough she was on her feet and rushing towards Akane. She struck out, landing a punch that Akane wasn't quite fast enough to block, forcing Akane to stagger backwards wiping blood out of her eyes.

It didn't slow her down though; the next time Shampoo struck she managed to block and use the tiny break in Shampoo's defence to hit back, snapping Shampoo's head to the side.

Shampoo whirled around and grabbed one of the restaurants chairs, holding it over her head and preparing to hit Akane with it…

"_STOP!"_ Cologne appeared between the tow combatants, looking less than pleased, "If you are going to fight you will not do it in my restaurant. OUT! _NOW!_" she declared, pointing to the door.

Shampoo and Akane eyed each other, each clearly not wanting to leave first and thus leave their back's open. Making a haughty little noise and raising her head Shampoo ran towards the door, just brushing past Mousse and Kiyoshi who were now standing a little way away from him, and out onto the street. Grimacing and clenching her fists Akane followed after her, and he was just about to follow them both when Cologne reached out with her stick and blocked his path.

Looking very serious she said, "You will tell me what has happened."

He looked out onto the street where he could see Akane take a heavy kick from Shampoo and go flying… _he wanted to be out there, he wanted to __**see**_… Cologne tapped him on the shins with her stick, "_Tell me!_"

"Um… I'm not _exactly _sure, but I think that Shampoo has done something to Mousse… _hurt him_… and Akane isn't very happy about it," he said.

Cologne looked deeply disturbed by what he had said and whirled to face Mousse demanding "Did she hurt you? Show me."

"I… I…" Mousse stuttered, cradling his injured limb close to his chest.

Slowly, and looking as if he really didn't want to, Mousse rolled up his sleeve. His arm was…

There were bruises, looked like a handprint, on his forearm just above his wrist; there was a long, crooked, but not too deep gash bisecting that bruise and running up to near his elbow where it ran into another indistinct bruise; the whole limb looked slightly red and there were a few patches of what were obviously burns… there may have been more injuries but he was distracted from his contemplation on Mousse's flesh by a strangled moan.

He turned to find a woman standing in the doorway. She was short… though not as short as his female form, her eyes were clear and slanted, her lips were slightly thin but with a delicate curve, her nose was straight and well formed… he could see the ruins of great beauty in her face.

Her entire face was covered with crisscrossing scars; the worst being a deep one that ran from the middle of her forehead, down her nose to the mid point, where it veered sharply right and continued on down her cheek until it ran into the corner of her mouth, pulling it into a permanent grimace.

He was dragged out of his contemplation of the stranger by Mousse calling out "Mama!"

_Mama?_...

"Ai Xia Do!" Cologne bowed to the stranger "You are here earlier than I expected."

The woman, who he was now fairly certain was Mousse's mother, ran forward into the room towards her son. When she reached him she gently took his arm, carefully studying his injuries. She snarled something in the Amazon dialect of Chinese (he was fairly certain that part of it had been _'Shampoo_'), looking at Mousse with oddly gentle eyes.

He looked away from her and nodded his head.

She spat out a series of what he assumed were swear-words and turned to face Cologne. He only understood a couple of words here and there of the resulting argument, but he had the feeling that Ai Xia Do was reprimanding the old ghoul for Shampoo's behaviour.

Eventually she seemed to run out of steam, though by then Cologne was looking murderous, and turned back to her son. She said something very softly to him (this time he thought he heard '_Akane Tendou'_) and he looked up at her and nodded, she gave him a strange half-smile half-frown and said something else, he nodded again and replied to her, still in Chinese, causing her to nod with a thoughtful look on her face. Smiling at Mousse she spoke with heavily accented Japanese, "Let's go see this Akane of yours."

… _Gah!_ The fight! He was missing the fight. He raced to the door, sticking his head out to see what was happening.

_He'd missed the fight_. Damn it! Well at least Akane had won…

Shampoo was lying in an unmoving heap at the other girl's feet, but Akane wasn't looking too good either. She was heavily bruised, bleeding and wavering slightly, and as he watched she slumped forwards, landing in a heap next to Shampoo.

He was just about to go to her when a figure brushed him out of the way, shouting "Akane!"

Mousse ran towards her and fell to his knees by her side rapidly (but extremely carefully) checking to see if she was alright. He was brushed aside again as both Cologne and Ai Xia Do rushed over as well. Shrugging he stepped out onto the street towards them, sensing more than seeing Kiyoshi fall into step next to him, and made his way over to them.

000

(_Akane's POV_)

She returned to consciousness slowly. The first thing she became aware of was the pain; an aching throb in her head, her cheek, her arm, her gut, her knee, as well as the raw, shooting pain of split, cut and open skin.

It was strange… The great battles tended to suck Ranma in and pass her by, this was the first time that she had been really injured in a fight… in _her_ fight… she had always been just a little frightened of it. Of being hurt. But now that it had happened… She felt stronger. Like she was finally a real martial artist.

Opening her eyes she found Mousse hovering over her with a worried expression on his face. His eyes widened when he saw that she was conscious "Akane!" he called out, "You're awake."

She made a grunting noise in affirmation and started to sit up. Clenching her eyes shut against the whirling of the world she took several deep breaths… _she felt awful_…

"Here," she opened her eyes to find Mousse holding a cup with some strange smelling liquid in it "Drink this. It should help."

She took the cup and brought it to her lips, wincing at the taste. It was like… well, she'd never tasted anything like it before so she couldn't say, but it was pretty foul, and left an aftertaste like lightening in her mouth, however the pain in her head started to fade almost immediately.

Now that reality was starting to make more sense she looked around… she was on the floor of the Cat Café, Mousse was kneeling by her side and if she looked over to her left she could see Shampoo lying a little way away still unconscious. Her mind flashed back to the fight…

It hadn't been very long, no where near as long as some of Ranma's were and she'd almost lost. Shampoo had landed a truly devastating kick to her head, which had left her reeling. She'd been losing consciousness, she knew that, everything had been going _dark_… but then she'd seen Shampoo's face, seen that overwhelming, unacceptable _arrogance_, and some how she'd held on.

Shampoo had been distracted, convinced of her victory, convinced that she, Akane, was no longer a threat… it had been so _infuriating_. She'd let her anger take her, let it sustain her, and whilst Shampoo had been gloating she'd struck; punching Shampoo with all her strength.

Shampoo had fallen…

And soon after so had she. The thing was…both this time and the last time she'd defeated Shampoo it had been almost accidental. If Shampoo had just been paying attention then… It stung a little, but at the same time she felt a great wall of resolve rise inside of her.

This wasn't what she wanted. She didn't want to only win when the person she was fighting had their guard down. No… she wanted… To be strong. _Fierce_. To be like Ranma… to never rely on another's strength… Making up her mind she decided that that's what she'd aim for, it may take a while but she'd become one of _them_. Nerima's great martial artists.

"Hm…" She looked up to see a strange, heavily scarred woman frowning down at her from where she was standing next to Cologne, "You are still weak girl, but I do not think you are too bad," the woman said with a thick accent.

She frowned at the woman, not sure who she was, before Mousse spoke up, "A… Akane, this is my mother; Ai Xia Do."

_WHAT!_ Gah… feeling terribly embarrassed at meeting Mousse's mother in such a way she winced but somehow managed to find her voice. "Hello," she said, cringing at how pathetic she sounded.

Ai Xia Do gave her a funny smile, "Hello Akane Tendou," the woman's eyes went to Mousse, "Before I come here I was very worried, certain that my son was out there being hurt by this strange woman who has stolen him from me, but now… I come to this Café and see you fighting Xian Pu, all because she has been hurting my son." Her eyes met Akane's, "I am now thinking that perhaps things are not as bad as I had worried."

She wasn't exactly sure what to say to that, but felt she should try to give Ai Xia Do some sort of reassurance about her intentions towards Mousse (_had she really just thought that?_) "I… I don't want to hurt Mousse, I don't want him to be unhappy… I will do everything in my power to ensure that he has a good life here, with me."

Ai Xia Do smiled down at her, "I hear what you say Akane Tendou."

The sound of a bell ringing drew her attention to the door of the restaurant, and she found two young women staring at them with consternation. "Cologne?" one of them queried.

The old woman looked momentarily surprised "Oh… yes. Yes, come in. Sorry… we had a bit of an incident."

The women walked into the shop and walked over to the old woman. This time the other one spoke up, "Oh dear, is everything alright?"

Cologne smiled at her "Yes. It's nothing. We're all fine. You'd better get to work."

The women nodded and went to put their bags away behind the counter and started to set the remaining tables. _Ah, they must be waitresses_.

"Ah…" Mousse exclaimed, looking at her with guilt, "On that note I'd better get to the kitchen… if that's alright?"

She nodded her head, smiling at him with reassurance.

Cologne sighed, sounding unhappy, "Without Shampoo… I'm sorry Mu Tsu, it looks like you will have lots of work to do."

Mousse shook his head, "No, no… I should be fine…" he frowned suddenly and looked towards Ranma, "Though… Saotome?"

Ranma, who seemed to be in a daze, looked over to Mousse "Mm?"

With a look that was part grimace and part smile Mousse asked "Would you help me in the kitchen?"

Ranma looked startled "Um…"

Cologne frowned, "Son-in-law?" she asked, looking incredulous.

Mousse nodded, "Yes… he is a good cook."

Looking as if she didn't quite believe what she was saying Cologne said "… I suppose that would be alright, if that is what he wants to do?"

They all looked over at Ranma, who flinched away self-consciously. He bit his lip, and looked to the side, and she could see him (probably unaware that he was doing it) looking to Kiyoshi for affirmation; the older boy smiled at him reassuringly, and that seemed to be all he needed to make up his mind. "I… ok."

"Thank you Saotome," replied Mousse, looking confident, "Don't worry, I will tell you what to do."

Ranma got to his feet and followed Mousse into the kitchen, looking back just once, and making eye-contact with her. He looked uncertain… she could see that… but even though the fact that he was a much better cook than her would never stop stinging she was beginning to realise that he had so little in life. Everyone just saw him as a martial artist, that was all. Just a body…

Maybe it was good that he had something else that he was so good at.

"Well…" sighed Cologne, as she shook her head and went over to check on Shampoo.

She was just about to ask the old woman if she was alright when Ai Xia Do spoke up again, "Akane Tendou, you must come up here and tell me everything about you."

She frowned, "Er… won't I be a bother if I stay here." It wouldn't be too long until the restaurant opened and she didn't want to get in the way.

"No, no. You will be no bother," Ai Xia Do said, shaking her head. "Ku Lon shall not mind, especially as her inability to control her great granddaughter has caused you much trouble. So come… tell me about yourself."

She saw Cologne's back stiffen, but the old woman didn't say anything in return.

Unsure of what she was doinf she made her way to her feet and walked over to Ai Xia Do. Taking a seat at the table she briefly thought about what she'd say before opening her mouth, "Um… Ok. I live with my father…"

000

(_Nabiki's POV_)

They hadn't come back yet…

She sighed as she looked around the schoolyard, _it was already lunch time, what were they doing_? She hoped that Shampoo hadn't hurt her sister and that Akane had won.

It had been a shock to see Mousse's arm looking like that. It made her angry…

Sure she didn't know him that well, and she didn't really like most people, but he seemed like a nice enough person. People were… whenever she tried to think well of them someone would do something like what Shampoo had done and her opinion of the species would just sink straight down.

Sighing again she made her way over to Hitomi, who was sitting with her (alleged) friends. Hitomi wasn't like most people, Nabiki couldn't ever see her doing something like what Shampoo had done.

Smiling as she approached the other girl she called out "Hello."

Hitomi looked up at her with startled eyes, "Nabiki! What?..."

Her peaceful contemplation of the other girl's face was completely ruined by Yuuka's undignified "Oi Tendou, what do you think you're doing?"

Looking over at Yuuka, and just knowing that her face had curled itself into an ugly expression she hissed out "What does it look like I'm doing?"

Yuuka got to her feet and tried to make herself seem taller, "Coming places you're not wanted." They stared each other down; there was no way she was giving way to Yuuka.

Hitomi spoke up in a quiet, timid voice "It… It's alright, Nabiki can…" before she was interrupted by Yuuka.

"Shut up Hitomi," the girl spat, before snarling at Nabiki "Now, I'd like you to leave us alone."

She raised her eyebrow at the girl, "Why is that Yuuka? You _frightened_?"

Yuuka flinched away from her, before gathering herself and snarling, "Why would I be scared of you?"

She smirked at the other girl, bringing herself in close and whispering, "Looks like you've forgotten… _all those things I know.._. I'm sure you wouldn't want people to…"

"Shut up!" Shouted Aoi, coming to her friend's defence, "Piss off! You think you're so superior."

Remaining cool, calm and collected she ignored Aoi (_snort… think it, she __**knew**__ it_), and instead focussed on Hitomi, "Would you like to come with me?"

Hotomi opened her mouth to answer but Yuuka, who seemed to have finally collected herself and angrily declared "No! She's not going anywhere!!" before Hitomi could say anything.

Unimpressed she replied, "I think it's up to her to make up her own mind. Don't you?"

Looking over to Hitomi she found the other girl blushing and giving her a small, embarrassed smile. "You want me to…?" Hitomi asked.

"Yes," she replied "If that's alright?"

"No. Hitomi you're not going!" Yuuka shouted, reaching out and grabbing Hitomi's arm to stop her from standing.

"Yuuka… _please_." Hitomi murmured, extracting her arm from the girl's grip and turning to Nabiki, "I'd be glad to," she said, getting to her feet and walking over to her.

Hitomi smiled softly at her and she felt her heart skip a beat. Blood rushed to her face, and she just knew that she was blushing there in front of these people that she really didn't like… but she almost didn't care.

As they turned and left she heard Aoi whine "_Ooiii_… _Hitooomiiii…_"

Giving in to a childish impulse she turned her head and stuck her tongue out at the other girls, before turning to Hitomi with a sweet smile.

000

(_Somewhere in Nerima.)_

Gah… where was he? He was fairly certain he'd been here sometime before… it was vaguely familiar…

_Was he in Hong Kong?_ It felt like he was in Hong Kong…

In fact he was fairly certain this was Hong Kong…

So… _What to do now? _Where to go? He didn't know… Turning around he set off randomly down a street…

_Not seeing the rather familiar building behind him_.

000

(_Kasumi's POV_)

Everything was getting out of hand; she was loosing control of the situation. He was…

So very, terribly, attractive.

She was constantly aware of him, where he was, what he was doing… the warmth of him, the smell of him, the sound of his voice.

It was driving her insane.

She didn't want… He wasn't her type… _well_…

_Physically_ he was. There was something about '_bad boys_' that she'd always found so, so irresistible… but a _relationship_ with him…

_Why had she even thought that_? A relationship with him would be impossible. He'd cheat. She knew he would… and she'd be unhappy, and everything would all get…

But she couldn't control herself. Every time he got close she was almost overcome by _want_.

She'd been stupid at first. She'd _teased_ him… but that was before he'd disappeared that night and turned up the next day all hung over. She'd realised then that whatever she was wishing for, deep, down inside, was impossible…

That didn't stop it though. Her attraction to him…

It was almost torturous. She couldn't escape it… it didn't matter what else she was concentrating on at the time.

Like this morning, deeply worried about Akane, who had gone off to confront Shampoo about what had happened to Mousse, and she'd still been aware of him. She'd still _wanted_ him…

And _now_. She was shopping for food again and, of course, he'd decided to come along… but no matter how hard she tried to keep her mind on what she needed to do all she could think about was where the nearest hotel or love hotel was…

It was ridiculous

She darted her eyes to him, taking in his easy smile…

_Completely ridiculous_.

000

(_Mousse's POV_)

Saotome was a surprisingly good worker. Obedient, fast, competent. Perhaps he was only seeing this side of the other boy now that they were no longer rivals…

No longer…

He could no longer love Xian Pu. It hurt to think it but… _what she'd done_, and now that Akane had defeated her a second time…

Akane... she was so _brave_.

He admired her, and finally he could admit that she was a better person than Xian Pu. A much better person. She would never do something so dishonourable.

Injuring a male that didn't belong to her just because she was angry… _a coward's action_… or at least that is how it would be seen by the other Amazon's. How it would be seen by his mother. How it would be seen by Ku Lon…

How he saw it himself.

Xian Pu… yes. It hurt… but she no longer mattered to him. It would take a while before he taught his heart not to care, but it was better in the long run. He would be _happier_ in the long run. Happier with Akane…

Even his mother seemed to approve, if only slightly, of the woman who had stolen him.

To his left he heard a sudden clatter and Saotome letting out an aborted shriek. Whirling around, he found Saotome standing next to the sink in female form, dripping wet and looking sheepish.

"Er… Sorry," Saotome mumbled, rubbing the back of her head.

"It's alright," he responded, glad that _he_ hadn't been hit by the water. Turning into a duck was so… _undignified_.

"_**Mu Tsu?**_" he turned to see his mother in the doorway that lead to the front of the Café, "_**Are you alright? I heard someone shriek**_."

"_**Everything's fine, Saotome just splashed herself**_," he replied in their native tongue.

"_**Saotome?**_..." his mother queried, staring at the now female boy.

"_**Yes, she fell in the 'spring of drowned girl'**_," he explained.

"_**Oh…**_" she said, examining Saotome, before speaking again, this time in Japanese, "Saotome…"

"Um…" mumbled Saotome, "Yes?"

"I will spar with you."

He could see Saotome looking completely gob smacked… which was exactly how _he_ felt. _What was she thinking_?

Raising her brow his mother continued, "Akane Tendou has told me that you are a very good martial artist, I wish to see this for myself."

"Umm…" mumbled Saotome, looking uncomfortable, "But you're…" she trailed off.

His mother frowned, "I am what?'

Saotome looked to the side, embarrassed, "… a girl…" she whispered, unable to make eye-contact with his mother.

"A girl?..." his mother muttered, "_Female?_ Why does that matter?"

Saotome opened and closed her mouth a few times, but nothing came out. He could see her getting more and more embarrassed under his mother's scrutiny, but, surprisingly, Ku Lon came to her rescue.

"_**Saotome had not been raised very well**_," she spoke as she entered the room, frowning at them all.

"_**What do you mean?**_" his mother asked.

"_**Saotome… **__**Ranma**__**… was raised by his father…**_" the old woman began.

"_**Yes? What does that mean?**_" his mother asked… she had never met Genma Saotome.

Ku Lon spoke again, a strange sadness on her face, "_**His father has taught him that women are weak. Inferior. That femininity is something shameful…**_"

His mother looked outraged, shaking slightly she spat out, "_**How could… to teach a **__**child**__** such a thing… and then for the poor thing to have fallen in the 'spring of drowned girl'…**_"

Ku Lon nodded, "_**It is a sad thing, yes. Saotome does not accept his female self, sees it as a burden, and sees himself as weaker when he is in that form. I do not think it is very healthy for him to feel this way, especially as he has such **__**talent**___"

His mother nodded, looking troubled, "_**So she will not spar with me?**__"_

"_**He does not hit women**_," the old woman said, "_**It has something to do with Japanese notions of 'chivalry'**_."

"_**You mean 'Do not do violence to those weaker than you'?**_" his mother asked.

Ku Lon nodded, "_**Yes… that is it.**_"

His mother shook her head, "_**But there is a great deal of difference between harming someone who cannot defend themselves and fighting an honest fight with another martial artist.**_"

"_**Yes, that is true**_," Ku Lon agreed, "_**But he does not understand that.**_"

"Alright" his mother said in Japanese, turning to the baffled Saotome, "We will fight and you will learn the strength of a female martial artist."

She marched over to Saotome and grabbed her by the arm, dragging her out into the front of the restaurant and out the door…

Ku Lon tutted, "_**What is she thinking…**_" she turned to him and sighed, "Since your mother has stolen your assistant and Xian Pu has run off to lick her wounds I will have to help you cook… so very tiresome."

_Xian Pu had…_ he shook the thought out of his mind, it did not matter what Xian Pu did, and turned his mind back to cooking.

He sort of hoped that his mother wouldn't hurt Saotome too badly; he was almost becoming friends with the other boy.

000

(_Genma's POV_)

He only drank sake in social situations; when he wanted to get good and drunk on his own it was always whiskey, had always been whiskey… just like his old man.

The cheap stuff felt like jagged glass on the way down, but it did its job. For a while it helped him think, when something particularly troublesome was preying on his mind, and eventually it brought the oblivion, sweet oblivion, when the burden of thinking became entirely too much.

He was getting drunk. Sitting in some horrible dive in one of the backstreets, taking in the perfume of stale cigarettes, stale beer, stale sweat and stale vomit.

He needed to think…

He needed to think the type of thoughts that needed a good, strong dose on anaesthetic to bear.

His son…

The boy… _Ranma_…

He was beginning to suspect that maybe, just maybe, his son was… _he couldn't bear it... to __**think**__ it even…_

Taking a deep breath and sucking up his courage he forced the thought across his mind…

_He suspected that Ranma was in love with that bloody Kiyoshi Kurosawa_.

There, done.

It _burned_, ached, cut up his insides… but he'd have to be _blind_…

Unaware of what he'd been thinking he now realised that he'd hoped that some of the boy's recent behaviour was only due to him being stuck as a girl for such a long time, but…

This morning. His son. Sitting so, so close to Kurosawa. So close… like he was _meant_ to be there…

He couldn't say anything at the time, not in front of everyone (he wasn't the best father but he wouldn't embarrass the boy like that (or shame himself by association)), but something needed to be done. The boy was putting both their lives in danger…

_But_…

He hated the fact there even was a 'but', _BUT!_ _What about Ranma?… his __**feelings? **_(he could feel his own masculinity take a blow at that thought).

_If the boy really was in love with that Kurosawa…_

NO!

No…

_But_…

000


	31. Disturbance

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 31: Disturbance.

Rating: Teenishishish…

Disclaimer: Let's not beat around the bush, we all know what goes here.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

Ah… _finally_. It's getting harder you know, there's only about… 6? Maybe a couple more… chapters to go and then its done. You know, it's not even the first anniversary of this story yet (that will be on the fourteenth of November). I did promise a sequel though, and I intend to deliver, though I may need a little break first.

Anyway…

_**I THOUGHT I'D JUST EXPLAIN A BIT ABOUT THE ELIXER THAT COLOGNE IS FEEDING AKANE**_…

As I suspect I may have failed to explain some points. If that's alright… I thought that maybe a small, possibly irritating, story may help on this front. Please forgive me.

So… Say we have a Chinese restaurant, whose owner is a friend of the Amazons and she has an Amazon friend there who wants to teach her heir some sort of martial arts cooking technique.

She has a bottle of the elixir, and dilutes some in some tea to give to her student (the stuff tastes absolutely foul straight up). Now, at this restaurant there is a foolish waitress who takes the tea by mistake and serves it to a customer (its lunch time, btw).

Now we enter the 'sliding-doors'/'trousers of time' moment, where there are several customers in the restaurant, and the tea could go to any one of them.

Customer A: Customer A drinks the tea and then spends the rest of the afternoon at the restaurant easting. Customer A really, really likes food. The end result is not that Customer A is suddenly a great martial artist, no… Customer A has developed stronger muscles in his jaw from chewing and in his arm from lifting the food to his face. Customer A also remembers every little detail about what he ate; the tastes, the textures, the temperature, the smell… everything. That is all.

Customer B: Customer B drinks the tea, eats her lunch and then realises that she is running late for a very important meeting. Customer B rushes out but misses her bus, and so decided that she will have to run back to work (it is not that far away). As a consequence Customer B develops better muscles in her legs, burns some fat, and becomes generally a little healthier… she also remembers everything that happens on the trip. She is not suddenly a better martial artist, though she does take up running, as it suddenly feels natural.

Customer C: Customer C drinks the tea, eats his lunch and then head back home to study. Customer C receives very little in the way of a physical boost, but does develop slightly stronger muscles from the walk, but the main benefit for Customer C is that he remembers everything that he experienced, in this case he read a large amount of text that was relevant to a test that he had the next day. A test that he subsequently did very well on. Also not magically a better martial artist.

Customer D: Customer D eats his lunch, drinks his tea and then decides on a whim to go to the gym. In consequence Customer D builds his muscles much faster than he had expected to, remembering everything that happened. Every sensation… in other words _ouch_. But Customer D is not suddenly a better martial artist.

Customer E: Customer E dropped in to the restaurant for a drink on her way to her lesson at the nearest martial arts Dojou. She drinks her tea and leaves, getting to her lesson just in time. Her muscles improve, her stamina improves, her metabolism improves and she remembers everything that happens during the lesson, and the movements she did feel natural afterwards. This is how the elixir makes a better martial artist. By making the lessons given by a teacher much, much more effective…

Thank you for your time, please enjoy the actual fic.

Final Note:

Thank you for reading. Thank you again if you review. Thank you for putting up with me.

_**You are all fantastic**_.

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to do this…

At least she'd let him return to his male form… well… _forced _him to return to his male form… She'd noticed that his clothes were slightly too large for his female form so, muttering something in a combination of her native tongue and Japanese, she'd dragged him into a restaurant and borrowed some hot water…

It was pretty embarrassing, but he was starting to get used to being embarrassed half the time so…

_Gah_, _that was pathetic_.

He had the feeling that not everybody went through life having the sort of horrible, embarrassing things that happened to him happen to them. _Lucky, they were so lucky_.

Finally she slowed down and he noticed that they were at the empty lot… _He wondered who owned it, and if they minded all the fights that the place saw_. She released him once they were standing in the middle of the lot and spun around to face him.

Smiling a serene smile she said, "Alright, we will be fighting now," and dropped into a fighting stance.

He shook his head, "No. No, there's no need. I don't want to fight you." He really didn't, he couldn't escape the sense of awkward _wrong_ that he felt whenever he fought a woman.

She frowned at him, looking confused, "Why are we needing a reason? It is not enough to fight for the glory of the _fight_?"

He shook his head, "No. No it's not enough."

She studied him closely, "Would this be the same if I was not a female?"

He flinched back from her… The way she said it made it sound as if there was something _wrong_ with thinking like that, even though his old man had always said… He shook the thought off, it didn't matter, even if hitting a woman was wrong he had already... "I don't care what they might have told you, I _have_ fought female martial artists before."

She raised her eyebrow, and stared him down with narrow eyes, "This may be so, but I ask you; do you fight your best fight against them? Or do you hold yourself back?"

He looked away, unable to meet her eyes. _He didn't know_, he'd never let himself think about it before… Flicking his mind back very quickly over the fights he'd had with women he found some solace, "I… When I've fought Cologne…"

"But that is different, yes?" she replied with absolute confidence, "Ku Lon is… I know she is female, but when I look at her it is not the first thing that comes to mind."

_Monkey, ghoul_… "Well, yeah… but…"

She smiled at him, a strange, disconcerting smile, and continued on in her not-quite-right Japanese, "When I first suggested we spar you are not liking the idea, you are wanting to refuse solely because of my gender."

"No!" he declared, "That's not true, I just don't like unnecessary fights," he didn't want her to see him as something weak, didn't want her looking down on him (he didn't want anyone looking down on him) and if he agreed that he hadn't wanted to fight her because she was a _she_ then he suspected that her opinion of him would become _very_ low.

"Really?..." she drawled, "And if I am your rival, which I am sure you have, then you would refuse this sparring session as unnecessary?"

He really didn't want to talk about this any more, didn't want to think about it, he just wished she'd _stop_ questioning him, but still… "Um… I… I… I suppose I wouldn't…"

She gave him a look… he could see pity in her eyes, which started to make him angry… and said, "So you are seeing, this is double standard."

"Yes… maybe…" he muttered resentfully, not liking that she was making him agree with her even a little bit. He felt cornered, hating himself for letting her get to him, and his mind started to race, trying to find a way out. "_But!"_ he declared "It's not the same. Aside from Cologne I can easily defeat any of the female martial artists I know, so even if I did fight them I'd have to hold back, which wouldn't be much fun."

"I am thinking that you are looking for excuses," she said with a (so very irritating) pitying smile, "But I do understand this thing you say." She looked to the side, a sad expression on her face, "It is sad to think that you know no truly great female martial artist of your own generation, and it is also telling me things about the strength of _Xian Pu_," she almost _spat _out the younger Amazon's name, "Our hope of the younger generation of Amazons, but I can be telling you now that not every female martial artist is being that weak." She met his eyes square on, "_I_ am not that weak."

It felt like her eyes were _burning _into him, looking deep down inside and seeing all his flaws. Everything, and there was so _much_, that was wrong with him. He looked away, unable to sustain eye-contact with her, and mumbled at least half to himself, "I…"

"We shall fight, yes?" she spoke over him, "And you shall see this for yourself."

"I…" he mumbled again, before a strange stillness settled over his mind. _She_ wanted this fight, not him… if he hurt her it was her own responsibility… and he was so sick of it, so sick of other people making him scared. Even when he didn't know what he was scared of. He looked up at her and nodded his head, "Alright."

She nodded back at him as he dropped into his own fighting stance and they stared each other down for several long seconds. She appeared completely calm, she didn't move a muscle, didn't even twitch… and he was quickly sick of the waiting.

He lunged at her, aiming a kick at her stomach. He was fast, he knew that, but she was just _gone_ before the kick landed. He didn't have to wonder where she'd vanished to because her elbow collided with his ear just before he took a knee to the ribs.

Letting himself fall away from her he propelled himself off the ground with his hands and with a quick flip he was out of her range. His ears were ringing, his ribs were sore and he was slightly dazed. He shook off the mild disorientation, his body instinctively falling into a defensive stance.

She lunged forward, towards him, moving almost too fast for him to see. Somehow he managed to block her first punch and he used the momentum to propel himself away from her.

He came at her from behind striking out with the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken. He felt the first and second blows connect and heard her grunt, but she disappeared before the third strike could land.

_Whumph_…

Gagging he flew backwards, one arm wrapped protectively around his stomach and the other up and ready to defend himself.

_She was incredibly fast_, _he hadn't sensed her coming. In fact…_

He lashed out, managing to land a kick to her head.

_In fact he couldn't sense her at all. No heat, no cold, no sense of __**threat**__…_

She struck back, her movements a blur. Some instinct deep in his chest piped up, screaming at him that he needed to get out of the way of that blow. He jumped out of the way instead of trying to block, feeling the air itself slice past him, as sharp as a knife.

_No... She was completely calm. __**Terrifyingly **__calm. If he didn't have his finely honed instincts…_

He came at her from the side, punching her in the face and then dropping before she could strike back. He kicked up and out; aiming fast, precise kicks towards her vital points, but she was just too fast. He felt the first kick brush her but she moved away before it could fully land.

_He could barely sense her coming, she was projecting no discernable battle aura… it also meant that he couldn't use the Hiryuu Shouten Ha; as there was no difference in temperatures… _

He felt a slight change in air pressure and quickly bounced out of the way.

_He needed to focus… focus on the __**air**_ not her battle aura…

She struck the ground where he'd just been, making it shatter. He rushed her, striking out again with the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken; this time he hit her at least three times before she got out of the way. He lost absolute concentration for just a second, distracted by the trickle of blood that was winding its way down her left cheek.

_He'd actually hit her hard enough to make her __**bleed**_…

That little distraction was all she needed though.

_Wham, whumph, bam, bam, whumph_.

He reeled backwards, loosing his balance as everything began to go dark.

_He wasn't even entirely sure what she'd got him with… but it didn't matter… he hadn't expected her to be so __**strong**__… he hadn't…_

Everything was blurring, the strength left his legs, he began to fall…

_He hadn't… __**NO!**__... he wasn't going to… he was __**strong**__… he lived his life for the fight… she wasn't going to defeat him now, like this_…

Somehow he forced himself back into consciousness, looking her square in the eye. She smiled down at him, a wide, feral grin, and wiped the blood from her face. "Ah… you are better than I was thinking you to be," she said. "This," she waved her bloody fingers at him, "Is the first another has made me bleed in many years now. Is very enjoyable."

He didn't let her words distract him, focussing instead on her body, trying to spot the tiny, telltale signs that she was about to move, about to attack. He was focussing so hard on his task that when she _did _lunge towards him he was taken off guard, taking another kick to the head.

_There was nothing… no indicator… one second she was still, the next she was moving… _

He ducked her next blow, wincing at the slicing feeling of the wind…

_He wondered if that could be turned into a weapon itself…_

… And swept his foot out, trying to knock her off balance.

_This was hard; way harder than he'd expected…_

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

The funny thing was… he was actually sort of sure that he'd been here before. He wasn't sure what it was about the place, but there was just something about that shop, with that statue…

And earlier there had been that park…

And before that, that Café…

And he was almost certain he recognised that row of shops…

Now, what was it?

_Ah_! That must be it. He'd been wrong earlier, this wasn't Hong Kong. No, not at all…

He was in Hokkaido!

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

His balance was slightly off as he skidded across the ground. He went down hard, containing his wince as the dirt, grass and stones grazed his skin. Forcing himself to his feet was hard; he was swaying a little, his body tired, his head aching…

He was taking much more damage than she was.

Sure, he'd got a few good strikes in but she just seemed to shake them off, unlike him… He was being worn down, slowly yet surely.

He hadn't used a single ki attack during this fight and neither had she… it felt good in a strange way; it was like fighting used to be, before everything got so much more complicated… He wanted…

He wanted to beat her fair and square. On the merit of his strength alone… Maybe that was strange, he didn't know… he wasn't even sure why he wanted it that way.

Almost lightening fast he directed a kick at her head; she dodged, which he'd known she would.

He was slowing down…

Getting tired…

Loosing…

_He was going to loose._

The thought ripped across his mind. At first his head was filled with chaos, it was like something was ripping loose… but then a strange calm overtook him.

_She'd gotten past his guard again, and only good luck and quick feet prevented him from taking some serious damage from her right hook._

He was going to loose, but that was ok. It was alright. She was older than him, more experienced than him, _better _than him… but his life wasn't over. He could get stronger, and when he did he could _beat her_.

_He lashed out with his fists, once more meeting thin air as she flitted out of his range._

_**Beat her**_**…**

_He barely sensed her as she appeared before him, the fist landing in his gut pushing the air out of his lungs._

It felt like… a bright light being shone into some dark corner of his mind. She wasn't Cologne, she didn't have that almost mythical, almost _immortal_ strength to her… no… she was…

_Staggering a little he dodged her next kick and somehow managed to hit her with an uppercut._

If he was female, then she was the sort of person, the sort of _warrior_ that he would aspire to be.

_She was barely stunned and he knew he was in trouble. He was too close to her, his guard was slightly down, and he suspected that this was going to be the end of it…_

He realised then what a tragedy Akane's life was. More than Shampoo, more than Ukyou, Akane was a female martial artist that had never been able to realise her true strength. She was the daughter of the Tendou School of Anything Goes martial arts and yet she was barely trained… it was shameful. Truly shameful. And it was his responsibility as well.

The Anything Goes School was _his_ school, even if he came from a different branch than her. He lack of training reflected on _him_ as well as it did on her and her father. In fact it reflected on _all _of them. Happosai, his old man, Soun, Akane, himself… It was their failing, and to have _Cologne_ of all people stepping in where they should have long ago…

_Pain erupted from what felt like every part of his body. He couldn't hold on, not this time, and began to fall, the darkness reaching out to embrace him_.

The last, in many ways inappropriate to the situation, thought that rushed through his head as Ai Xia Do took him down was that he really should step in and help train Akane.

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

It was getting dark, he was hungry, he wasn't sure where he was.

He'd thought earlier that this was Hokkaido, but now he was feeling that it might be Beijing.

He kept passing Chinese restaurants, their wonderful aromas wafting out and making his mouth water. So yes…

Not Japan.

Shrugging his pack off his shoulders he began to look through it in search of money. Finding one of his little bags stuffed with currency he opened it up and checked out its insides.

He had enough coins and notes of various nationalities that's he'd be fine for dinner even if this turned out not to be Beijing, and was instead the 'China Town' of any other city, in any other country.

He entered one of the restaurants, a small, dingy place with few guests but delightful smells emanating from the kitchen, and looked around.

Ah…

There were specials scrawled across the walls on colourful cardboard in a combination of Mandarin and Japanese… He must be in Japan after all…

Maybe some part of Tokyo?

A pretty, petite, dark-haired waitress in peach-coloured traditional Chinese clothing approached him, looking quizzical.

There was something about her… she reminded him in some impossible way of Ranma, and just looking at her was making him feel weird. Weird in a way he couldn't explain.

Trying to shake off the feeling he focussed on the here and now, he needed something to eat before he went to find somewhere to camp.

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

He came round to find her standing over him with a strange expression on her face. When she saw that he was awake she crouched down in front of him and held out a dented metal flask. "You should be drinking this. It shall make the healing easier."

The Amazons were good at this sort of stuff, potions, pills and powders, and he didn't think she meant him any harm so shakily he reached out and took the flask, bringing it to his lips. It smelt pungent and horrible and tasted like something three weeks dead, but as he swallowed a tingling warmth spread over his limbs, chasing the pain away.

"Does work, yes?" She asked, "Is my own recipe, _secret_ recipe."

He nodded slowly, hoping that his head wouldn't fall off, and was pleasantly surprised when all it did was ache a little. She dropped down beside him, sitting in the dirt with an elegant sprawl.

She looked over to him as she took the flask back, "You are strong boy. Very strong. I see in you more potential than I have ever seen…" she looked away into the distance, "If you had been being born to us, one of us…" she looked at him again with a frown, "Born female and you would be the best of us, Xian Pu cannot even touch you, but born male…" she gave him a cheeky smile, "If you had been born male amongst us then I am hoping that the wisdom of our elders is not being so far gone that they would not have taken you to Jusenkyou and have bathed you in the 'spring of drowned girl.'"

It took a couple of seconds for him to understand what she had said, but when it registered his mind went blank. "You would have?..." he mumbled, reeling.

"Of course," she said, "You are having the potential…" she looked away, her face curled in distaste, "We are getting weak. Is no lie. What we once were we are no longer. Our children are being…" she looked at him again, her eyes like black coal, "Xian Pu is being the strongest fighter of our younger generations."

She turned away from him and spat on the ground before hissing, "_Xian Pu!_ That stupid, disgusting girl… I am having hope for my own daughters, but I wonder if it is being futile…" she shook her head, "There are no new Ai Lai Nas, no new Ku Lons, no new children of prodigy, not even any more girls like this Ai Xia Do," she declared, slapping her chest once.

He wasn't sure what to say, but his instincts (the ones he was only just learning to follow) told him not to interrupt.

She shook her head again, "Even this Akane Tendou, impudent stealer of sons, has more potential than foolish Xian Pu, though I am suspecting that this potential that she is having is locked away inside of her. But _you_…" she fixed him an absolutely piercing gaze, "You are shining, not unlike the sun, or all the stars in the heavens… male or female it matters not, you are having more potential than this Ai Xia Do has been seeing in any person in her long, long life."

"You are," she said, her eyes distant and contemplative, "I am thinking, like the heroes we are having in our stories of old. Like our old Warlords, like the Queens that we were once ruled by…" she sighed "I am not wanting this potential to be wasted, but you are not being born as Amazon, and I am not knowing if there is being a way around this."

Still unable to find his voice he remained silent as she continued to speak, "Perhaps I am being melodramatic, yes, perhaps you are not being what I am thinking you are…" again her face screwed up in disgust, "Perhaps it is just so very many years I have been spending in our little village, watching our female children grow up to be less than what we are hoping for…" she shook her head and turned on him again with that piercing gaze, "But you have drawn blood when we are fighting and it has been many long years since that has happened when this Ai Xia Do has fought." As she said 'Ai Xia Do' she slapped her chest again, before her gaze went back to being contemplative, "Many long years indeed…" A funny look came over her face, "Also I am thinking, that of all our Amazons, all our living sisters, that it is being only Ku Lon that would draw blood if I am ever fighting her."

She stopped speaking and stared off into the distance. He didn't know what to say or even if he _should_ say anything, but before he was forced to decide she seemed to shake herself out of whatever had been bothering her. "Ah, it is not mattering" She smiled at him, "You shall be going home now, it is late and you should not be missing your dinner. If my Mu Tsu and Akane Tendou are at your home when you are arriving tell them to be coming to the Cat Café in the morning so I can be having breakfast with my son," she demanded, "And then you yourself shall be coming there after you have finished at this school of yours…" it wasn't a request "I am thinking that there may be being a couple of little things that I might be teaching you before I must be returning to my small village."

She got to her feet and looked down at him one last time, a strange expression on her face, before disappearing in a flash. He could see a matching flash on one of the nearby rooftops, so he knew that she had just jumped away, but it was still a bit startling.

A brief surge of self-disgust washed through him, he hadn't even said anything to her at the end, and he was sure there was something he had wanted to say, even if he wasn't sure what it was… but then it occurred to him that he'd see her tomorrow anyway when she'd…

_Oh_…

It sounded like she was going to teach him something.

He felt raw inside, like some part of him had been stripped bare. It wasn't a _physical_ feeling, no… it was somewhere in his mind… but the thought that she's be teaching him a technique, hopefully one of the ones she'd used to beat him, had a soothing effect.

He almost felt like himself again.

Almost…

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

Oh shit. He was in _Nerima_.

000

(_Ai Xia Do's POV_)

She smiled softly to herself as she made her way back to the Cat Café. Nerima seemed like it was nice enough; she was beginning to understand Ku Lon's attachment to the place.

The girl who had stolen her son seemed to be a kind, sensible person; though she had the impression that Akane needed quite a bit of training to become the martial artist that she could be… and then there was Ranma Saotome…

What a fascinating girl… Even if she thought she was a boy.

Better to indulge her though, she didn't want the girl becoming defensive.

As she ran she felt the tight knot in her chest finally begin to loosen. It would be alright, she knew that now; her final worries had been dealt with.

She finally let herself accept her fate.

She had lived a long life, a _hard_ life; a life that was just one battle after the next. A life lived for the fight, a life that would be taken by the fight.

She was dying, she knew that.

Not from any illness, no… her death would come at the hands of an enemy that should have been an ally. _Enemies_ probably, no one person could take her down, not anymore.

It was alright though. Now there was somewhere she could send her husband and her daughters, somewhere where they would be _safe_.

Ku Lon and her allies on the council had spent far, far too long watching _her_ for signs of rebellion when the real threat was coming from another corner. The Amazons as they had been were dying, she knew that; there was nothing that could be done now. It was too late; far too late…

She would give her life for her family, for the other's caught up in a conflict they hadn't asked for… she would let them escape, and she would die a hero, once more defending her people from a force that would rip them apart.

Now all she had to do was wait, it wouldn't be long… not with Ku Lon busy here in Japan instead of back home, keeping people in check…

She was glad that she had met Ranma Saotome before she died. It was rare, _very_ rare, to find someone with such potential… even if she suspected that the girl's full potential would never be realised.

She, herself, was widely considered to be the best living warrior amongst her people and before her there had been the legendary, prodigal Ku Lon… still strong, but not as she had once been; she had been injured far too many times, in ways that didn't heal properly, though the woman tried to hide it… but they were the last of a dying breed.

The worst thing was that most of her techniques, her life's work, the life's work of her ancestors, would go to the grave with her. She had taught her daughters what she could, and they were talented fighters in their own right, but they were unsuited to her style, favouring strength over speed, weapons over fists…

If only Ranma Saotome had been born an Amazon.

She would have taken her under her wing, taught her everything she knew. The way the girl fought… A little rough still, but one day she would be poetry in motion.

The only person she had ever met that she could _see_ using her techniques, her style.

Oh well, what was to be was, and what was not to be… was not.

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

Wait… was that the Tendou Dojou?

000

(_Ranma's POV_ Female at the start)

"Hello? Ranko?"

"Auntie Saotome! Hi."

"It's good to hear from you Ranko."

"You too Auntie Saotome… Um…"

"You sound a little tired, is anything wrong?"

"No! No, it's just been a long day. How about you? Is everything alright? You know… with…?"

"Yes, oh yes. We're finally making progress."

"Oh… that's good?"

"Mmm… Young people these days…"

"Um…"

"Oh, nothing. It's just… Sometimes the decline of morals in the young makes me feel… _tired_."

"Decline of…?"

"I suppose I could tell you… You won't repeat what I say, will you?"

"Er… No?"

"You're a good girl Ranko. Anyway, Tamiko's stupid son is acting up and upsetting his mother because he…"

"Auntie Saotome?"

"Apparently he has fallen in love with someone who is in most of his classes at University… a _male_ someone…"

"Er…"

"I _know_. So _shameful_… you see what I mean about the decline of morals… anyway… we'll soon get him sorted out, back on the straight and narrow, as it were…"

"Umm…"

"…"

"Auntie Saotome?"

"Sorry Ranko, Tamiko needs me. I'll ring again tomorrow, alright?"

"Alright… goodbye Auntie Saotome."

"Goodbye Ranko."

He hung up the phone, his heart feeling strangely heavy. There was something about the conversation that he'd had with his mother that was making him feel uneasy, but he wasn't exactly sure what it was. He shook his head, _it didn't matter_, and made his way towards the kitchen in search of some hot water to change himself back into _himself_.

The house felt empty and strange. It was late, Akane and Mousse were in bed, Nabiki and his old man hadn't come home yet, Soun was still holed up in his room, Kiyoshi had apparently gone home from the Cat Café, so he hadn't seen him after his fight with Ai Xia Do, and Kasumi and Ryu were doing something in the kitchen.

He was tired, and had, in fact, been on his way to bed when the phone had rung. Kasumi had answered it and called out for 'Ranko' saying that Auntie Saotome was on the phone. A quick splash of cold water later and he'd been having that strange and uncomfortable conversation with her.

Ryu and Kasumi were standing very close together when he entered the kitchen, which he thought was strange, but she quickly appeared at his side with a kettle full of hot water when she noticed him.

He changed himself back and nodded to her, "Goodnight Kasumi."

"Goodnight Ranma," she replied, "Sleep well."

"You too," he said as he left the room and went upstairs to his bedroom.

He'd bathed earlier (leaving his dirty clothes for Kasumi to wash), when he'd just gotten home, so all he did was strip off his jeans and fall into bed wearing his boxers and t-shirt. He was asleep almost before he closed his eyes.

_He was running, running, he had to run or else he'd be caught._

_It was coming for him, coming out of the dark, its footsteps pounding on the ground._

_He had to run, he couldn't let it catch him, if it caught him then…_

_It would all be over, he would be over._

_He was beginning to tire, he had been running for so long. _

_Always._

_Forever. _

_Running_

**Slam**

_A wall appeared out of nowhere, the shadows themselves solidifying._

_He desperately clawed at it, trying to find a way around this obstruction in his path._

_He couldn't, he was trapped._

_His heart in his throat he spun around, he wasn't going down without a fight._

_It stepped forward, the shadows releasing it…_

_Wait… No…_

_He stared, puzzled, at his female form…_

A strange sense of unease woke him from his dream. _What? What time was it?_…

"_RYOUGA!!!!_" wait, that was Mousse… why was Mousse screaming about Ryouga?

He debated getting up, but the sweet lethargy of sleep still had its claws in him, he lay there for a few minutes, listening to the footsteps as they barrelled down the hallway. HE was just about to fall back to sleep when an ear-piercing scream rent the air.

"_IIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_"

Oh Crap… That was _Akane_.

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

Luck was on his side for once. He'd had no trouble making his way into the Tendou Dojou, no trouble finding the koi pond and turning himself into a pig, no trouble making his way upstairs, and for once no trouble finding Akane's room.

Maybe his fortunes were turning around.

He crept across the floor, frowning in puzzlement at the futon next to her bed. _Maybe she had a friend over?_ Yes… that had to be it.

As he made his way around the futon to Akane's bed the person asleep on the futon began to stir. Shrugging it off as normal night-time fidgeting he continued until he was near the head of the futon, directly across from Akane's stomach.

He prepared himself to jump up onto her bed, but was almost startled out of his skin when an arm emerged from the futon and began to fish around near him. The hand retreated to the futon holding a pair of… _glasses?_

Very familiar glasses. Very familiar arm when he thought about it…

Slowly he turned around, feeling very, very apprehensive.

Oh… Shit…

"_RYOUGA!!!!_" screamed Mousse, heaving himself to his feet.

Well, okay, he wasn't going to stick around. He bolted for the door, barely paying any attention to where he was going. His mind was screaming about why Mousse was asleep on the floor of Akane's room, but he promised himself that he'd deal with that later.

He ran full speed down the corridor towards the stairs, the sound of running footsteps egging him on. When he was downstairs he risked a glance behind himself, even as he ran. Mousse, wearing pyjamas, was quickly catching up with him.

_Wham_.

Whilst he was distracted he barrelled full pelt into something. He had a millisecond to realise that it was a pair of legs before hot, hot liquid splashed across his flesh.

He felt himself change back, and found himself huddled naked in the hallway in front of Akane's eldest sister who was holding an empty teapot.

"_IIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_"

His blood ran cold. He looked up to see Akane staring back down at him, her face white.

She'd seen. She'd _seen_…

000


	32. Betrayal

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 32: Betrayal.

Rating: Teen-ish.

Disclaimer: Not mine, and I'm broke anyway… so, so broke…

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

So, so sorry for how long its taken to get this out. Also, don't know when the next bit will be out as I'm going to be pretty busy for the next week. Sorry again.

I know some of you won't be happy with this, and I know there hasn't been much focus on Kiyoshi recently, but it's going to become very, highly Kiyoshi and Ranma intensive from the next chapter onwards, I just needed to get some things out of the way first.

I did want to rush through some of what I've dealt with in this chapter but my mind wouldn't let me, but I'm pretty much in the clear now so…

Anyway.

Final Note:

Thank you for reading. Thank you again if you review. Thank you for putting up with me.

_**You are all fantastic**_.

000

(_Nabiki's POV_)

Nerima at night, even very _late_ at night, was a surprisingly safe place. There wasn't much of a criminal element, well, an _obvious_ criminal element. There were very few gangsters and even fewer prostitutes. There was a whole world of potential just waiting to be unlocked in Nerima's nightlife…

The night air was pleasantly cool and perfumed with some familiar sweet scent… though she couldn't remember what it was. It made her feel strangely nostalgic… She wondered if, in the future, _this_ would be one of those moments that she'd feel nostalgic towards.

She looked to her right, to where Hitomi was walking sedately next to her. The other girl looked… _sweet_… soft and contemplative, and when she noticed Nabiki looking she gave her a shy smile. She felt her face flush; Hitomi was so…

They'd spent most of the day together, which had been nice, and then it had almost seemed natural that she'd walk the other girl to her job. After she'd seen that Hitomi was settled in, and promising (despite Hitomi's protesting that she didn't need to go so far out of her way) that she'd return later to walk the other girl back home, she'd left to do a bit of… _business_… which had left her purse a good deal thicker than it had been when she started, at which time she'd started to feel hungry.

Not really paying attention to where she was going, but knowing that she didn't want to go back home, she'd let her feet take her where they would… which turned out to be back to the restaurant where Hitomi worked. She'd been worried that eating there wouldn't embarrass or upset the other girl, but all Hitomi had done was smile at her sweetly and show her to a table.

Hitomi had ended up her waitress (she wasn't sure whether or not that was simply coincidence), the waitress uniform (a knee-length, pale-blue, puff-sleeved dress and a white lace apron), whilst somewhat silly looking (and horribly 'Alice in Wonderland'-esque), had been incredibly cute on Hitomi and the food had been good, so all-in-all she'd had a good time.

After she'd finished eating she'd left again on more _business_, which had gone well (ah… sweet, sweet money; one day she'd _own_ Nerima), letting her get back to the restaurant with a little time to spare.

Hitomi had been getting ready to leave when she'd returned, but there was something about her… she had looked worried and distracted, which had made _her_ worried… which wasn't something she was that happy about. She didn't like anyone having that much control over her emotions… but then it _was_ Hitomi… Hitomi wouldn't abuse any power she gained over other people.

When she'd asked Hitomi what was wrong the other girl had told her that she'd had a call from her parents, apparently they wanted some time alone, so Akira was spending the night with one of his friends and Hitomi had nowhere to go. Hitomi had mumbled something about calling Yuuka or Aoi, but there was no way she was letting Hitomi do that, so she'd invited her to spend the night at the Tendou Dojou. The Tendou Dojou where there was no spare bedding…

Of course she could always steal Nodoka's futon whilst the woman was away, but there was always the worry that she might return sooner than they'd thought. No… No it would be better, much better, if Hitomi spent the night in her bed, with her…

After all… she wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone.

She snuck another glance at the other girl, doing her best to ignore the strange, fluttery feeling in her belly and chest. Hitomi was smiling softly to herself, a faint blush lighting her cheeks.

Hundreds of possessive, covetous thoughts raced through her mind. She wanted to say something to Hitomi, but she didn't know what to say, didn't know if she _could_ say anything that wouldn't come out sounding at least half insane… It was a moment of near _delirious_ loss of control.

She was not like a lot of the people she knew. She didn't like to act on impulse, without a plan, leaving things to chance… no… so the way she felt then, at that moment, was almost incomprehensible.

"Are you alright?" Hitomi suddenly asked.

She turned her head towards the girl, who was frowning at her with concern, and nodded her head, "Yes… Sorry… my mind wandered off for a moment."

"Oh…" Hitomi said, "Are you sure that you don't mind?... Um… Me spending the night at your house?"

"No!" she replied, perhaps a little too forcefully, "No, it's fine. Good… even."

Hitomi nodded and gave her a sweet smile. Looking at the other girl made her heart feel light, and she floated along in a cloud of happiness for several streets, making it almost all the way to her front door, before an ear-piercing scream rent the night air. Hitomi startled next to her, moving closer, and the next thing she knew Hitomi's fingers were twined with hers as the other girl clung to her hand.

Any happiness (incredible, unbearable happiness) she felt warred inside her with the realisation that that scream had most likely come from her own home. Oh yes… that meant… well, if she was lucky it was only someone playing a prank on someone else, or Happosai… but maybe bringing Hitomi home wasn't such a good idea.

Not with the way things tended to be… the _chaos_ that frequently descended…

She continued on determinedly. It would be fine… _fine_… if anything bad happened she would simply make life a living hell for anyone who had caused it. She was very good at making life difficult for people… and anyway, she couldn't exactly send Hitomi home…

She unlocked the door and pushed it open…

A blur of naked flesh darted out, brushing her arm; Hitomi let out a small shriek and pulled her out of the way as Akane and Ryu stormed out of the door after… _Ryouga?_

That was Ryouga.

_Naked_ Ryouga…

She heard her sister let out another shriek of frustration, which probably meant that they'd lost him, before Akane stormed back into the house, not even noticing herself and Hitomi, who were still standing a little way away from the front door.

She turned to the other girl, who was bright red, and shrugged apologetically. "Sorry," she said, "I should have warned you, it can get a bit…" she winced, unsure exactly how she should describe it, "… a bit… well… _strange_… around here."

Hitomi shook her head, "No… it's alright," the other girl looked away, blushing harder, "I just… it's nothing. I mean… it's not like… but I don't… really… _like_… boys. All-that-much."

She started to blush herself… could Hitomi be saying that she was…

_**CRACK.**_

The sound of flesh hitting flesh sounded sharply from inside the house, at same time that Akane screamed, "_HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?!! DON'T LIE TO ME RANMA, HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?!!_"

Oh crap, and in front of Hitomi too…

000

(_Akane's POV_)

Her hand stung where it had connected with Ranma's face… He looked almost… _frightened_.

Good.

He should be…

_How dare he…_

She'd known, she'd known the _second_ she'd seen his face. Seen the guilt…

Ryouga had been sleeping in her bed… sleeping in her bed with _her_… and Ranma had _known_…

It all made sense now. All of it. Everything… all these little moments… all these little ways he'd reacted, things he'd done.

How _dare_ he…

Did he think it was alright? Letting Ryouga…?

_Ryouga…_

If she ever saw him again she was going to _kill_ him. All those times she'd _defended_ him when he'd been…

She felt sick. Sick to her stomach.

"A… Akane… _please_… let me explain," Ranma begged, but she didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to hear his _voice_.

"Shut up!" she snapped, "Just shut up… How could you? Just…"

His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, no words escaping, before he looked away, "It was my fault," he mumbled, "And I _promised_…"

She shook her head, trying to shake it all out of her mind, "I don't care. I don't want to hear it!" she said, sounding cold and strangely distant.

"But…" he whispered, "_Please_ Akane, please let me explain."

"_NO RANMA_!" she snapped, whirling away from him, "Just _no_…"

There was something welling up in her, anger, pure anger… but for once she didn't want to take it out on him. She didn't know if it was because she was growing up, or if what he'd done… what he'd let happen… was just too much for her mind to handle… so she needed to get away from him, get away before she did something that she might regret.

Maybe.

One day in the future…

"I'm going back to bed," she snapped, addressing everyone _but_ Ranma, "Come on Mousse."

She paid no attention to the voices calling out after her; she didn't want to talk to anyone, she didn't…

Halfway up the stairs her anger faded and all she was left with was hurt. How could he… she had thought that Ranma at least liked her a _little_… but this was making her feel like their entire relationship, their _friendship_ (that was becoming something so very important to her) was a lie.

He'd _lied_ to her… and it wasn't just a _little_ lie, no… it was…

The world began to blur; she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to chase it away; a warm tickling, trickle ran down her cheek and she raised a shaky hand to wipe it off. She was crying… she didn't _want_ to be crying, but she was.

A horrible, choking sob rose in her chest, spurring her feet until she was running, running for safety. She rushed into her room and slammed the door; she staggered another couple of steps into the room before sinking to her knees on the floor and bursting into tears.

In that moment it felt like her entire world was coming apart… Ranma was so much a part of her life, but she didn't think she could bear to even see his face again.

She payed no attention to the door opening and closing behind her or the soft footsteps coming into the room until she found Mousse's arms wrapped around her shoulders. She turned her face into his chest, letting the fabric of his shirt muffle her sobs, and let herself cry.

He murmured soft, soothing things into her ear; telling her _it would be alright, that they'd work it out_, but she didn't really pay any attention.

The tears were strangely cathartic. She found that after a while they were for more than this recent episode, this recent _incident_… no… somewhere along the line she'd began to grieve, properly grieve, for all that had changed, all that she'd _lost_ because of Ranma.

For having her choice in who she would marry taken from her (even if she'd gotten out of that one).

For the chaos that he'd brought to her once calm (if boring) life.

For the whispers and rumours that his presence started…

The _things_ people said about her.

The things _he'd_ said _to_ her…

All the little ways he'd hurt her that she'd never let herself deal with.

The way he'd made her feel… so _inferior_.

So weak, so stupid…

She cried and cried, to the point that she felt like she was drowning in her own tears, but eventually they slowed before finally stopping, leaving her clasped onto Mousse, her face buried against him, feeling his warmth…

Her heart felt strange… lighter perhaps, or _empty_… but it was alright, life would go on.

She pulled away from Mousse, just a little, and looked up into his face. He was looking at her with such gentle eyes…

He was the reason, or maybe the _excuse_, for why she wasn't going to marry Ranma, because she had an obligation to him and that obligation was…

He was really very handsome she thought as she looked into his eyes, the glasses made him _cute_, sure, but behind them he had such lovely eyes, such a nice face, and she wanted to…

She wanted to…

Her hands reached out to take the glasses from his face. Everything felt strange and intense, like the calm before the storm…

She wasn't sure what she was doing, or _why_ she was doing it, but she didn't think she could stop herself. The tips of her fingers brushed against the edge of his glasses frames…

There was a sudden, sharp knock on the door.

It broke through whatever fog she'd been in and she dropped her hands, staring at Mousse, who was blushing, with surprise.

Before she could call respond to the person knocking, the door opened and Nabiki was standing in the doorway with her eyebrow arched.

Carefully moving away from Mousse she glared up at her sister, "What do you want Nabiki?"

Nabiki rolled her eyes and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her, "Ranma's really upset you know."

She frowned at Nabiki, "Why do you care?" it _was_ pretty uncharacteristic.

Nabiki shrugged and sighed, "I don't know," she said bluntly before smirking, "Perhaps I'm getting soft in my old age."

"You? Soft?" she spat, wincing at the harsh sound of her voice.

The expression of vague humour left Nabiki's face to be replaced by a cold, overwhelmingly grown-up expression. "No… _soft_ is probably the wrong word," Nabiki stated, her voice sounding… strange.

She flinched back from her sister's gaze, feeling like a butterfly pinned to a board.

Nabiki's mouth twisted in distaste, her eyes squeezing shut as she let out an irritated sigh, "Whatever my reasons, whatever my motives, I want you to listen to me for a moment Akane…"

She opened her mouth to say something but Nabiki snapped out "Without interrupting!"

Debating what to do she eventually nodded her head, feeling less than happy about it.

Nabiki studied her for a couple of seconds before she began to speak, "While you've been up here..." she paused and raised her eyebrow, "…Doing what you've been doing…" what was she suggesting? "I had a talk with Ranma, to find out what happened. He is, as I said, upset, but after a while I managed to work out what he was blathering about."

She paused again, before sighing loudly, "You see… Ranma's an idiot. He's an idiot, who was _raised_ by an idiot, who has idiocy in his genes. Genma is… in many ways a very stupid man. A _thoughtless_ man. And Nodoka…" her face twisted in distaste, "Well the less said about her, the better."

"So Ranma, he doesn't always understand things the way you or I would." A bitter look came across Nabiki's face, and she wondered what her sister was thinking, "How can he when he's never had to interact properly with the world… before coming to live with us anyway… He's just lived in this fantasy world full of 'chivalry' and 'honour' and other bullshit," she spat.

"Look…" Nabiki continued after a thoughtful pause, "From what Ranma said _he_ pushed Ryouga into the 'Spring of Drowned Pig'; accidentally of course, but Ryouga isn't the sort to distinguish between accidentally and intentionally, he's rather... _sensitive… _ridiculously so," Nabiki smirked as she said that, wicked humour alight in her eyes, before her face fell back into seriousness, "So Ryouga got Ranma to promise not to tell you about it to make up for doing it in the first place… or at least I'm fairly sure that's what Ranma was trying to say, he was a little incoherent."

As much as she didn't want to admit it, it did make sense in that screwed up, irrational way that Ranma could think sometimes, but still… what little sympathy she might feel was for out weighed by her sense of betrayal.

She opened her mouth to say something, to tell Nabiki how little she cared about Ranma's reasons but Nabiki ignored her and kept talking. How irritating. "Now to you or me it all sounds more than a little…" Nabiki smirked "Ridiculous, but in Ranma's… screwed up world view… I suppose it makes perfect sense. I wish it didn't but it does." Why would Nabiki even _care_? "He didn't mean to hurt you Akane, he really didn't, and you must have noticed all the little ways he tried to tell you what was going on without actually _telling_ you…" Nabiki trailed off.

That stung. Did Nabiki really think that it was _her_ fault for not realising what was happening? Focussing on that pain and ignoring the sick, queasy self-doubt roiling in her stomach she snarled at her sister "What about you Nabiki? Did you know?"

Nabiki looked away, guilt written plainly on her face, "I… I suspected…" Her face hardened, "No, that's a lie. I knew, I think we _all_ knew… maybe not Kasumi, though sometimes I suspect that their's more to her than it seems… but certainly our father knew… _knows_… and I…" She grimaced, as if what she was saying was getting caught in her throat, "I'm sorry, I should have told you. I guess that it… it just didn't matter. It didn't _touch_ me…" Her eyes became wistful, "Nothing really did until…" she shook her head "But that's a different matter. Anyway…" her sister seemed to come back to herself and winced, probably because of the look on her face. She didn't believe them, she didn't…

"I'll just… I'll go now," Nabiki blurted out, backing out of the room as fast as she could.

She glared after her sister, feeling absolutely furious. She had never expected her family to…

"Akane? Are you…?" Mousse asked with a small voice.

She turned to face him, realising as she did that he was possibly the only person in the house who hadn't betrayed her. It was a strange feeling. A _nice_ feeling.

She smiled at him, trying to reassure him, even as the expression felt stiff and forced.

"Let's go back to bed… We're meeting you're mother first thing in the morning."

000

(_Nabiki's POV_)

What the hell was wrong with her? She wasn't getting soft, she was loosing her mind.

She'd been off her game recently. She'd been too kind, too generous… in many ways _too_ happy.

It was all because of Hitomi; she was letting the other girl get to her, becoming _weak_ because of it. What had happened to her plans? Her determination?

Why wasn't she seducing Tatewaki?

She needed to do something about this, needed to… she wasn't sure what, but things couldn't continue like this. They just couldn't.

What had she been thinking, going to reason with Akane for Ranma? She was getting too attached to this life, with these people. Her sister's smiling face. Ranma…

She needed to remember that things could change in an instant, there was no use getting attached because people left, people _died_.

The choking sense of loss she felt whenever she thought about her mother's death inched up inside her throat. She pushed it down, forcing herself to ignore it. She needed to be strong, she needed to never falter, she couldn't afford to let herself feel any more than was strictly necessary.

Feeling cold and distant she walked towards the dining room. There was an awkward air to the room, which was empty aside from Kasumi and Hitomi, who were sitting around the table nursing cups of tea.

Hitomi smiled up at her, her face lighting up with relief.

It was strange… very strange… Her heart felt lighter. She felt happier… she couldn't quite capture her earlier feeling of dissatisfaction with her self.

She smiled back at Hitomi.

It didn't matter. Hitomi made her happy and she deserved a bit of happiness every now and then.

She turned to her sister, who looked slightly uncomfortable, and asked, "Where's Ranma?... Oh, and Ryu?"

Kasumi sighed "Ranma went to bed and Ryu's… outside," she waved vaguely to the back garden, "_Patrolling_. In case Ryouga comes back."

"Oh," she said, "Did you know?" it maybe wasn't the most… diplomatic thing to ask, but she wanted to know.

Kasumi frowned, "I'm… not sure. I don't think so, but it all makes so much sense now…"

"Yeah," she sighed, "Yeah it does."

"There was an awkward pause before she shook her head and turned to Hitomi, "Come of Hitomi, I'll show you the bathroom and then we can go to bed."

"Ok," Hitomi said before turning to Kasumi, "It was nice to meet you."

Kasumi smiled, but it looked more than a little forced, and replied, "You too."

"Goodnight Kasumi," she called out as she led Hitomi out of the room.

"Goodnight… Nabiki," Kasumi replied, something odd lurking in her voice.

She ignored whatever was bothering her sister, she had more important things to deal with. Like that strange thrum of excitement in her veins whenever she thought about the fact that she would be sharing a bed with Hitomi.

000

(_Genma's POV_)

He had the hangover to end all hangovers. He was really surprised that he wasn't dead, it was a while since he'd drunk that much. Far too much really. Far, far too much.

He was almost back to the Tendou Dojou though, which was good. He could curl up in his bed until the world stopped trying to rebel. He'd need to bathe first though.

Old whiskey, sour sweat and vomit stained his shirt and he knew how bad he must smell, even if his nose had long since gone numb in self-defence.

He'd woken up in the gutter in a puddle of… something. Vomit mostly he thought, but what else there might have been he didn't want to think about. He was honestly he hadn't choked on it and died in his sleep… a little regretful of the fact really, because of he had then…

A sudden, convulsive spasm had him bent at the waist while he tried to empty his already empty stomach. Tears sprang to his eyes as he was trapped in horrible helplessness, his retching bringing up nothing. He finally brought up a dribble of revolting bile, but that was all.

Finally the heaves stopped and he forced himself upright and on, a bath and a bed just down the street.

His head was hazy with pain and he wasn't really paying attention to what was happening but he did notice as Happosai ran past him full pelt, a look of horror and disgust on his face.

Wondering what had happened was all too much for him so he decided he'd think about it later, when he wasn't dying a slow and agonising death. He entered the Tendou complex stepping around Shampoo, who was crouched down behind the fence and peering towards the house and almost tripping over Ryouga in pig form, who was running away at full pelt.

He entered the house through the open door (not stopping to wonder _why_ it was open) and headed to the bathroom. His path was obstructed by Soun, who was lying unconscious just outside his bedroom, and later by a stunned Ryu who was slumped in the hallway nursing a bruised cheek whilst Kasumi stood over him looking unimpressed. He grunted an acknowledgment to Kasumi as he stepped over Ryu's legs and stumbled into the bathroom's antechamber.

He hurriedly stripped off his… _stained_… clothes and opened the bathroom door…

…

…

He staggered backwards, everything going black, his mind unable to cope with what he was seeing. Ranma and Kiyoshi looked up at him with fear from where they were…

On the floor…

Tangled up in Ranma's clothing…

Which they were both trying to strip off him…

Oh Gods…

The last thing he heard as he fainted was Ranma saying "Maybe it doesn't work on family members."

000


	33. Shampoo’s Mistake

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 33: Shampoo's Mistake.

Rating: Teen-ish.

Disclaimer: Not mine, and I'm broke anyway… so, so broke…

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/Hitomi.

Author's notes:

Yeah, yeah. I know. I was bad. I'm sorry if you reviewed and I didn't get back to you but I've been really busy, so busy I'm surprised I even got this finished, so in return _**I dedicate this chapter to all of you who got no reply to your reviews**_. I'll try to do better next time.

It's weird, you know, I'm getting near the end of this fic and it's doing weird things to my head. I've spent so much time writing it now that the idea of it being over is a little… painful, really.

Final Note:

Thank you for reading. Thank you again if you review. Thank you for putting up with me.

_**You are all fantastic**_.

000

"Yes? What do you want?"

"I was told to bring this here."

"What? _Oh…_"

"Look, can you take it? I've heard stories and I don't really want to…"

"And you're one of Chen's boys are you? I'm sure he'd be really proud."

"Look woman, I was told to deliver this and I've done it, but I'm smart enough to stay away from anything that's cursed."

"Yeah, yeah… sure. You can leave now."

"Yeah, whatever. Have fun… just don't have an _accident_."

000

(_Soun's POV_)

That was _it_, he'd moped enough. It was time to get out there and… and… and _deal_ with things. He couldn't remain locked in his room for eternity.

He'd made his decision, he'd stick with it, it was time to be a _man_, time to be responsible.

He heaved himself out of bed and made his way to the door. As he stood before the door a strange, compelling scent began to tease at his senses.

He flung the door open, ready to track down and possess whatever was producing that smell, only to find a startled Ranma standing in the hallway just outside the door.

Ranma looked strange, _beautiful_, gorgeous, and he had to…

Had to…

Oblivion came swift and sweet as Ranma quickly struck out and knocked him unconscious.

000

(_Shampoo's POV_)

She was very angry. Very, very angry. Furious even. She felt persecuted, _picked on_, it was all so _unfair_…

How dare they, did they think that it was alright to treat her like that, to disregard her wishes…

The humiliating defeats that she'd suffered at the hands of Akane Tendou still stung.

She supposed that it wasn't _so_ bad, she knew that if she hadn't been distracted then Akane could never have won, but still… any defeat by Akane Tendou was a shameful defeat. Akane was… _pathetic_, and so, so far beneath her. It was almost _funny_, except she wasn't laughing.

She knew what she was, what they said about her. She was the next great hope for the Amazons, the strongest warrior born in many, many years… since the wretched Ai Xia Do herself (and how she had always hated that woman). The thing was…it had always felt natural, as if she was _meant_ to have that power, as if there was some _great_ thing she was supposed to do with it, and now… now she suspected she knew what it was.

For years now she had been aware of the undercurrent amongst Amazon society. The _disquiet_. The anger… She had heard them talk, she had even been approached a couple of times by women who had asked her a handful of carefully worded questions; nothing too obvious, she _was_ Ku Lon's great granddaughter, but they had wanted to know what she thought, where her… _loyalties_… lay.

She had ignored it in the past, of course she had, she hadn't even _cared_. Either way it went she would still be needed, still be wanted, there was no way that either side would get rid of her, unless she actually _picked_ a side, but now…

She was beginning to understand what they'd meant, what they were fighting for. She was beginning to see the corruption, the arrogance, the _ignorance_ of the women who ruled their village.

Ku Lon may have been a great warrior once, but that was a long time ago. Too long ago. Now she was… weak. Foolish. An _old_ woman… and worse yet was her intolerable alliance with Ai Xia Do.

That woman was dangerous, she had _always_ been dangerous, and how _shameful_ was it that so many of their elders tip-toed around her wishes scared that she'd go the way of her ancestors. That she'd become a new warlord…

This could not go on. Ai Xia Do and her family, her entire bloodline (sadly including Mu Tsu now that she'd realised that he'd never be of any use to her again) had to be wiped out. Her blood, the blood of Ai Lai Na, was an infection. An infection that had to be treated before it spread any further.

She had her purpose now, her reason for existing, so it was probably time to return to her home. To her village. Which she would, once she'd dealt with one last thing…

Quiet as a mouse she jumped over the fence surrounding the Tendou Dojou.

The rules and regulations of her people needed revision, they were obviously flawed, so she felt that she had every right to make her own decisions regarding Akane Tendou and Mu Tsu.

She deserved vengeance. She did. She had been humiliated, betrayed, abandoned…

So she was going to have her vengeance, even if she… just maybe… didn't have a plan for how to get her vengeance. It _had_ been a spur of the moment decision, but she was _sure_ that it would work out. She was even already in the Tendou Dojou, so obviously something was on her side.

She slipped across the garden, around the koi pond, and into the dining room.

She would have everything she deserved. She just had to find Akane and Mu Tsu, do… _something_… to them, leave, go back to the Café and grab her bags before Ku Lon realised what was happening, make her way back home, get the revolution under way, ensure that she had a position of great authority on the new council and then change the rules so she could come back to Japan and steal Ranma for herself… Then, and only then, would she be happy.

She stood in the centre of the room, trying to work out what to do next. She knew she was doing the right thing, _knew it_, but a small voice somewhere inside was berating her for acting without a plan. She pushed the voice down, firm in her convictions, and was rewarded when a glint of light out of the corner of her eye drew her attention to a small glass bottle lying forgotten on the television cabinet.

That was…

A wicked grin lit up her face. Yes… _yes_… She knew it. She _knew_ it. Her vengeance was justified; the universe was looking out for her. She walked over and picked up the bottle, smiling at the sluggish liquid inside.

She wasn't going to make the same mistake twice, no she wasn't, she knew that her fumbling with the screw cap last time had waisted precious time and may have even contributed to… what had happened… with Akane, so she was going to open the thing now. She screwed the lid off, leaving it on the television cabinet, and carefully positioned the bottle in her hand to that she could spray Akane or Mu Tsu the second she saw them. It was a fitting vengeance, it would teach them the consequences of angering her.

She walked over to the door, holding the bottle ready, preparing herself for her mission. She'd be quick; she'd find them, spray them and get out of there before anyone realised what had happened. She opened the door and stepped out…

A small shriek left her mouth at the same time her fingers closed convulsively on the spray pump of the bottle.

She gagged at the smell (heavy, overpowering flower musk and rotten meat) as a positively _massive_ cloud of shimmering liquid emerged from the bottle and descended on a startled Ranma.

Oh shit…

It was an accident, he'd surprised her… she had to get out of there before it set in, he was going to be angry, very angry when he realised what had happened.

She backed away, turned and began to run.

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

What the?… _Shampoo_?...

He gagged heavily; whatever she'd sprayed him with _stunk_. Like rotting meat and rotting flowers and the horrible, overpowering perfume some women wore… His hands flew to his face and hair, trying to wipe it off.

It was thick, viscous, and left oily residue everywhere he touched. He shuddered at the feeling, but the pure _physical_ disgust had nothing on the feeling of dread creeping up in his throat. This was _Shampoo_ who had sprayed him with something, who knows what it would do…

It would probably be a good idea to track down Shampoo and find out what she'd sprayed him with, though maybe he should try and wash it off first…

The first warning that anything was wrong was a choked snort behind him; he turned around in time to see Happosai heading straight for him, his hands outstretched towards his…

_Gah_!

Happosai's _hands_… on his… and rubbing his face against…

"Oh how could I have not seen the beauty of a young man in full bloom," Happosai sighed against his bum, before the old man nuzzled his face in closer and mumbled something else that was muffled by his flesh.

This was pretty high on his list of horrible and disgusting things that had happened to him; he didn't understand it, he was _male_ so why was Happosai…

It was that stuff Shampoo had sprayed him with, it had to be.

He didn't bother trying to reason with Happosai, he just let his body do the talking. He flung the old man away from himself, obviously not hard enough as he immediately bounced back, but he was ready and when Happosai came at him he booted the old man down the hallway.

Happosai lurched to his feet, a demonic look of lust on his face, and took a step backwards to better get his balance in preparation to attack again. As his foot touched the ground a strange look came over his face. A look of absolute horror and disgust. A wretched, strangled scream emerged from somewhere deep in the old man's chest as he turned and fled.

Oookay…

So…

Had it worn off? That was unlikely, he was _himself_ after all, so what had caused Happosai to stop… doing-what-he-had-been-doing?

His instincts were still flaring like crazy; he was tense, ready to be attacked, his skin trying to crawl off half in absolute disgust because of what had just happened and half because he just knew that this wasn't the end of it.

A soft thump from the dining room had him spinning around, his body falling into a defensive stance, in time to see…

_Ryouga_…

_**Naked**_…

_Ryouga naked and_…

His brain refused to process the rest of the image, giving up in horror, as his body acted on pure, self-defensive instinct. He moved forward, lashing out with his right leg, and belted Ryouga away and into the koi pond.

He didn't wait to see what would happen when Ryouga recovered, no… he had to get to the bathroom, he had to wash this stuff off… Why was he shaking?

_Why?_...

It didn't matter. _It didn't matter. _He had to keep moving.

He'd made it a bare handful of steps when Soun's bedroom door slid open and the older man stepped out. Soun was frowning, his nose twitching as if he smelled something, but the second Soun lay eyes on him his expression changed to one that was becoming entirely too familiar.

Soun may not be the best father to Akane and her sisters but he had no real grudge against the man. Soun had never… done the things that so many other's had done to him… So quickly and mercifully he knocked the older man unconscious, and moved on. Soun hadn't even seen the blow coming so he just slumped softly to the ground.

As he ran he could barely hear the pounding of his feet on the floor over the pounding of his heart. There was something about this situation that he was finding deeply upsetting, but he couldn't force himself to examine it too closely.

He had almost made it to the bathroom when arms suddenly wrapped around his waist. He was spun around to face his attacker and then slammed into the wall. He looked up at… at Ryu… who was looming over him giving him that… _look_…

He felt that same shudder of uncertainty that that look gave his female form, except that it was much reduced. He wasn't… Maybe… even if he'd never realised it, but maybe he felt more… _vulnerable_… when he was female. Maybe… because even if that look Ryu was giving him made him fell uncomfortable he wasn't frozen, he wasn't…

He really hated men looming over him.

Ryu leaned in close, entirely too close, and lifted a hand which he brushed down the side of Ranma's face and down his neck.

It was strange… such a small action with such a large _re_-action. He felt a huge flash-fire of pure irritation burst into flame inside his chest. He was so sick, so _fucking_ sick of people treating him like some sort of… of _thing_, a thing that they could do whatever they wanted to. Like he didn't think for himself, like he didn't _feel_ anything, like he wasn't anything but a… a…

_Possession_.

His fists were clenching so tight that his knuckles ached and he was fairly certain that his nails had broken the skin on his palms. If Ryu didn't remove his hand, didn't stop looking at him like that, in the next two seconds he was going to break the entirely-too-cocky boy's face.

It turned out that he didn't need to do anything because with a blur of motion and the thwack of flesh on flesh Ryu disappeared from his line of sight. He looked down at Ryu, who was slumped on the floor, and then up to Kiyoshi who was standing there with bruised knuckles.

_Kiyoshi…_

Kiyoshi was strong, Kiyoshi was fit, Kiyoshi was also a good fighter… he could be in a lot of trouble.

He inched away from the other boy, real fear and something else rising in his chest. For some reason, whatever reason, the idea of _Kiyoshi_ attacking him, Kiyoshi trying to take something that he didn't want to give, was… it felt like his heart was breaking. It hurt so much, too much.

"What's happening?" Kiyoshi ground out between clenched teeth.

"Shampoo sprayed me with something," he warily replied, "It's made everyone… they've all tried too… Isn't it affecting you?" he asked, _needing_ to know.

Kiyoshi nodded jerkily, a trail of blood dripping down his chin from bottom his lip which was caught between clenched teeth.

The fear flared in his chest again, making him take an abortive step away from Kiyoshi. The other boy flinched and held out a beseeching hand. "It's alright," Kiyoshi choked out, "I won't… _attack..._ you, I swear."

He studied the other boy for a second, taking in his tense shoulders, clenched fists and look of steely determination. "Ok…" he sighed, relaxing slightly; he believed Kiyoshi, Kiyoshi wouldn't… he _wasn't_…

Ryu groaned from the floor, obviously waking, and that fear was back. He needed to… "I need to wash this stuff off, come on," he all-but-shrieked at Kiyoshi, running for the bathroom and only half wondering why he'd asked Kiyoshi to come along.

He flung open the door to the bathroom's antechamber and headed straight to the bathroom itself, not bothering to get undressed. He needed to wash the… whatever-it-was… off him and he'd feel safer if there were more doors between him and the rest of the world before he got naked.

Kiyoshi followed him into the bathroom and shut the door. The other boy carefully remained facing away from him, studying the wall as if it was the most interesting thing he'd even seen.

The feeling of filth, as if he'd rolled in something rotten, had been eating away at the corners of his mind ever since Shampoo had sprayed him so he was a bit less coordinated than usual as he began to frantically strip off his clothes.

He wasn't sure how, but somehow, he managed to get his t-shirt tangled around his head. He made a highly embarrassing squeaking noise as he fought with the cloth, but it only seemed to get him more entangled. He tried to rip the cloth, but his muscles wouldn't cooperate…

He was staring to feel strange, slightly numb… _it had to be something in the stuff she'd sprayed him with._

His heart was racing in his throat, his hair was standing on end, his skin began to prickle as thousands of tiny beads of sweat broke the surface. He was panicking; stupid and weak and… and… _whatever_… it was, he was panicking.

Suddenly large, warm hands wrapped themselves in the cloth of his t-shirt and began to untangle him. When his head was no longer covered he found Kiyoshi frowning at him with concern, the t-shirt dangling from the other boys hands.

"I don't feel so good," he said. He lifted one of his hands and stared in shock at the trembling limb. _No… no he felt like crap_.

Kiyoshi got a strange look on his face, "It's alright," he said, "I'll help you."

With Kiyoshi's help everything went a lot easier, though he couldn't help feeling… _strange_… about the other boy, his _fiancé _stripping his clothes off. The worst thing was that it wasn't necessarily a _bad_ strange.

He was almost naked when the door suddenly opened, framing his father in the doorway. His heart felt like it was trying to leap out of his chest. He couldn't stand it, couldn't handle it if his father tried to… tried too…

It was a relief when his old man keeled over backwards in a dead faint instead of…

"Maybe it doesn't work on family members," he said to Kiyoshi, feeling dazed. The other boy shrugged and went back to work helping him remove his jeans.

His hands were shaking worse than before and he began to feel really weak. Darkness began to edge into his vision and he found that he couldn't even lift a hand to his face to try and wipe it away. He was loosing consciousness he realised just as he slumped forward into the warmth of Kiyoshi's arms, he was loosing consciousness and all he could do was hope that Kiyoshi would take care of the stuff Shampoo had sprayed him with without… _taking advantage_…

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

Even from this distance there was heat in his veins; horrible, wretched heat. He shook off the feeling, the temptation, and forced his mind onto other things.

The morning air had been pleasantly cool as he'd made his way to the Tendou Dojou, and it looked like it would be another nice day. He smirked sardonically to himself; it would be too nice a day for the conflict he felt inside. Everything was… _wrong_… his whole world was being turned inside out and the sun kept shining.

It was Ranma, of course it was Ranma, everything was Ranma these days…

He hadn't expected… it was completely outside his experience… not that he was… but _still_…

It had surprised him, that's all.

He had thought that when Ranma went back to being male he would stop finding the other boy attractive. He didn't expect to stop liking Ranma, to not want to spend time with the other boy, but he hadn't anticipated the same old heart stopping attraction to persist, but it had…

It had and it was… a revolution he supposed.

He'd never been attracted to other boys. He didn't think that there was anything wrong with it, with being gay or bisexual, but he just _wasn't_…

Maybe he was wrong, maybe he'd been uncomfortable with the idea deep down inside. Probably, really. He'd always felt kind of _disgusted_ if he ever thought about _being_ with another boy, and maybe that was some sort of unacknowledged homophobia…

Though back in his old town he'd hung around with a boy who was well and truly out of the closet, but he'd known well and truly that he wasn't attracted to Yuki and hadn't been vain enough to think he was Yuki's type. So maybe it was just discomfort with the idea of being with a boy _himself_.

He still was uncomfortable with the idea to be honest, but there was just something about Ranma…

Male Ranma wasn't all that different from female Ranma. _Of course not, they were the same person_, but he supposed that he's expected the differences to be bigger, more noticeable, and instead Ranma was just… _Ranma_.

Still beautiful, still sweet, still so easy to get along with…

Did the gender of a person really matter if you loved them?

Not that he loved Ranma; he _couldn't_ let himself love Ranma, not when he could never be with Ranma, not when Ranma would never love him back.

He shook the thought off; it wasn't important, he couldn't let be important. Ranma would find someone who he loved and maybe if he was lucky he himself might find someone…

No. Probably not.

A soft noise of distress from Ranma drew his attention to the other boy, who had managed to get all tangled in his t-shirt. He watched Ranma for a moment, taking in the increasing distress and shaking hands, his level of concern increasing.

Whatever that Chinese girl had sprayed him with seemed to be affecting Ranma physically, making him weak. He'd noticed the other boy trembling earlier, but had hoped that it was just distress and not some side effect of the… potion or whatever it was…

A slightly distressing thing to hope for, but anything that had such a profound physical impact on a martial artist could not be a good thing.

He knew that if got closer to Ranma the potion would be harder to ignore – it seemed to be affected by the distance between Ranma and whoever was with him – but he couldn't just ignore Ranma's distress. Ignoring the fire in his veins, the urge to do… something… he knelt down and grabbed the t-shirt, carefully untangling Ranma.

The other boy didn't look so good, he was pale and shaking, and after a moment he mumbled "I don't feel so good."

Studying Ranma it was pretty obvious that the other boy wouldn't be able to get himself undressed so he would have to…

Have to…

He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek until the salty, metallic tang of blood flooded his tongue. He could do this, he could do thing, he could do this without trying to…

To…

He bit himself again; Ranma deserved better, much better, than the stroll in the gutter that his mind had just taken.

Suppressing his libido with a will of iron he managed to say "It's alright, I'll help you," without sounding too strange or dribbling blood down his chin again.

Ranma was shaking pretty badly so he had to do most of the work in getting him na… _undressed_…

He was down to Ranma's jeans, a reality that was making him more than a little uncomfortable, when the door opened. He stared in shock at Genma Saotome, his muscles going instantly tense in case the older man made a move to… _towards_ Ranma.

Genma stared at them for a few long seconds before his eyes rolled up into his head and he keeled over. Ranma let out a soft sigh of relief before muttering "Maybe it doesn't work on family members," in a weak voice.

He shrugged and went back to getting Ranma's jeans off; the distracting presence of Genma slumped in the doorway doing marvellous things for keeping his libido under control.

As he slid the denim down Ranma's legs he noticed that Ranma was starting to waver, as if he was about to faint, so it wasn't completely unexpected when Ranma slumped forwards. He'd been ready for it so he easily caught the other boy, a part of him relishing the feel of the other boy in his arms.

Taking careful consideration of what he'd have to do he made a decision; he laid Ranma carefully on the floor and stood up. He walked over to where Genma was lying and carefully pushed the older man out of the bathroom and into the antechamber, shutting the door behind him. He walked back over to Ranma, carefully shedding all his clothes aside from his boxers, knelt down and carefully pulled Ranma into his arms.

The potion that Shampoo had sprayed Ranma with had to be washed off, it _had_ to be, or else it would continue to wreak havoc and who knows what it would do to Ranma himself. Ranma obviously wasn't capable of doing it himself so that just left him and he was the only person he trusted to keep Ranma safe whilst the other boy was helpless. The strange thing was now that Ranma was unconscious it was easier to resist the potion's influence. Sure, he still felt that _pull,_ but Ranma was relying on him and his need to keep the other boy safe was stronger than the potion's lure.

He carefully slipped Ranma's underwear off and reached for the soap. He forced his mind to stay on business, reminding himself of how important it was to keep Ranma safe…

_Safe_…

That's what he'd do, he'd keep Ranma safe. That's how he'd cope when Ranma left him…

It was a promise, an _oath_.

He _would_ keep Ranma _safe_.

000

(_Happosai's POV_)

His skin was crawling off. It was _crawling off_.

He had to get out of here, out of this town, there were too many people out to get him here.

First that…_whoever it was_… that kept playing those games with him and the precious, silky darlings. Obviously they were some sort of psychopath, that was the only way to explain there mistreatment of innocent underwear, and he didn't really feel up to battling a psycho.

Maybe he was getting old.

And then… _now_… _**Ranma!**_

Erkgh, he was going to be sick.

What had come over him? What had…?

Maybe a vacation would help, yes, it had too… he'd go away for a few weeks, maybe longer, have a nice vacation…

There were many, many precious ones, silky darlings, out there that he could liberate, and he was sure that some time spent chasing panties would shake off the ill effects of what had just happened.

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

He couldn't understand it… he couldn't…

After he'd fled from the Tendou Dojou the night before he'd gotten lost, lost and still naked – his pack and all his possessions were somewhere in the garden around the Tendou Dojou.

He'd spent the night wandering aimlessly, trying to find his way back or find some other clothes, but had gotten no where. Finally, and highly unexpectedly, he'd found himself back where he'd begun.

It had taken him a while to get inside the Tendou complex, but when he had he had almost made his way to his clothes when the strangest thing happened.

Firstly he'd smelt this wonderful, sweet, heavenly odour and then he'd been _pulled_ inside the Tendou house towards Ranma. Ranma had smelt so _good,_ had looked so lovely, had been every tempting thing and all he could think was hat he had to have that vision of loveliness for himself.

So he'd leapt and Ranma and Ranma had kicked him into the koi pond.

The cold water had brought him to his senses and all he could think to do was flee. Get the hell out of there.

He needed time to think, time to process…

Was it possible that _he_ was in love with _Ranma_?

000

(_Soun's POV_)

That was it, he was going back to bed.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

Ranma had explained what had happened (with Kiyoshi glaring at him as if he was the most disgusting thing his brother had ever seen) but he still felt sick inside.

Imagine that, him hitting on a boy, _him!_ Ick.

And Kasumi had been angry with him, which he hadn't liked. No one bit. Though he wasn't exactly happy about not liking it. There was just something about her…

She'd gotten under his skin, gotten inside and _infected_ him. He wanted her to be happy, and he hadn't wanted a girl to be happy since Kana…

Kana…

Maybe he was ready for another serious relationship, maybe… he _was_ lonely sometimes…

No.

No!

What was he thinking? Not after Kana… there was no way he'd become seriously involved with a woman, he'd learned his lesson, there was just no way that anyone could really overlook his original biological gender.

He had been born a girl, still became a girl when splashed with hot water, and women didn't like that. They just didn't…

What to do, what to do…

He needed some air… No, more than that, he needed some _sleep_.

He'd been up all night keeping watch in case the bandannaed pervert came back. He had more than Ranma's virtue to avenge now; there was no way that it was forgivable to do what the boy had done to Kasumi.

When everyone had gone to bed they'd been sitting together in the dining room, just chatting. After a while she'd decided to go make some tea for them both, leaving him alone to contemplate her, and then he'd heard the commotion, stuck his head out the door and found the bandannaed pervert named at her feet, covered in tea.

He'd chased after the boy, as had Akane, but he'd gotten away and that had pissed him right off so it had felt like a perfectly reasonable thing to do to keep watch in case he returned.

Unfortunately the whole… _thing_… with Ranma had occurred on one of his rounds, but otherwise he felt that he'd done the right thing.

He looked up as his house came into view; he'd have a shower first, wash any Ranma related residue off himself, and then go to bed. Maybe when he woke up things would have worked themselves out…

Unlikely, but still.

He stepped inside, closing the door behind himself and moved deeper into the house. His mother was standing just outside the kitchen with one hand behind her back and a funny expression on her face.

Arching his brow at her he walked over, wondering what she wanted to say. She smiled strangely at him and quick as a snake lashed out with the hand behind her back pouring hot liquid over his head.

"Hey!" he snarled, he hated being turned back female and she _knew it_, "What the hell was…" he trailed off, realising what was different.

"I can't believe that actually worked," she said, sounding entirely too pleased with herself, as he ran his hands over _his_ body. _HIS_ body.

His very, very male body.

000

Final Note: Please make no assumptions.


	34. Freedom

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 34: Freedom.

Rating: Teen-ish.

Disclaimer: You'd have to be delusional to think that the characters from Ranma ½ belonged to me. Really, really delusional.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/Hitomi.

Author's notes:

Sorry it took so long. This chapter was surprisingly hard to write and there was a very difficult week in the middle of it.

My cousin died of breast cancer.

Now, I didn't know her that well – she was much, much older that me – but it had a rather detrimental effect on our household.

My family, my _mother's _family to be exact, are… _nuts_ is probably too nice of a way to put it and they are best avoided. So we had day after day of my aunt making her daughter's death about _herself_ instead of about my cousin (as it should have been).

God I hate narcissists.

In some ways I am glad I inherited my father's tendency towards depression instead of the grand maternal problem of personality disorders. My mother is the sanest of the lot of them and even then she's pretty… traumatised.

Her family are not nice people…

Sorry. That was all probably TMI, but sometimes you have to rant to someone, even if it's to nearly complete strangers.

Anyway, a public service announcement that is probably unwanted:

Breast cancer is not your friend. Self examination and vigilance _is_. And remember it's not just women who get it, it does effect _men_ as well.

Sorry.

On to chapter notes:

There's two… maybe three, but I'm pretty sure it's only two, chapters left until the fic is finished. It's a weird feeling, let me tell you now. Very weird.

I missed getting this done by the fic's first anniversary, but I'd still like to say that I really appreciate you, the readers, and that it's been an… _interesting_ year.

Also, this is not going to be a happy chapter, I'm just warning you now.

Final Note:

Thank you for reading. Thank you again if you review. Thank you for putting up with me.

_**You are all fantastic**_.

000

000

(_Cologne's POV_)

Irritation twitched beneath her skin like it did all too often these days. She was sick of the girl and her stupid, foolish temper tantrums, her staying out all night, her thinking that she knew best (though that had always been a privilege of the young).

She had no idea what had set Xian Pu off this time, or even where the girl had been before she had come stomping through the Café and had gone upstairs, but she did not feel that anything justified the lack of simple courtesy that she'd been shown. No greeting, no acknowledgment, the girl had just gone stomping past, and in front of Ai Xia Do too.

She did not particularly want the other woman seeing her heir act like a spoiled child.

Moving with the quick efficiency of long practice she went about getting the Café ready for the day, ignoring the other Amazon elder sitting at a table with Akane Tendou and Mu Tsu. She let her thoughts wander, all too aware of the way things were shaping up.

It was becoming increasingly obvious that Xian Pu could not be trusted with even the simplest of tasks… something she should have realised a long time ago, but, as they say, ignorance is bliss. It was terribly… _unseemly_… to be forced to prepare her restaurant on her own, without the help of her grandchildren.

Mu Tsu could be forgiven of course, he _was_ spending time with his mother and he did keep looking at her with a pathetic expression that seemed to imply that he'd rather be helping her instead of being blatantly interrogated by Ai Xia Do… but Xian Pu, Xian Pu should have been helping, and she should have been glad to do it.

Her eyes narrowed on the slumped and somewhat depressed figure of Akane Tendou… the girl had promise and it wouldn't be _entirely_ without precedent…

"_Where is Shampoo?!_" Ranma shouted as he barged into the Café followed by a slightly more sedate Kiyoshi Kurosawa.

She blinked a couple of times, slightly put out by his demanding tone, before answering "She is upstairs."

He reflexively twitched towards the back of the shop before looking at her pleadingly, "Could you go and get her?"

She felt some of her irritation wane; Ranma was a good boy at heart and she found it refreshing that he hadn't barged into her home after Xian Pu and had instead asked her to go fetch the girl. She was getting well and truly sick of people stomping all over her wishes and just doing what they liked; she was an Amazon elder and she deserved far more respect than she was getting.

Shrugging, and in a way _glad_ for an excuse to take herself away from Ai Xia Do's eyes, she said "Alright, I shall go and get her and then you can tell me what the stupid girl has done now."

As she walked deeper into the shop she kept an eye on her visitors. She noticed that Akane wouldn't look at Ranma and that Ranma in turn looked pained, a little frightened and somewhat guilty. The Kurosawa boy was standing in a strangely defensive way, keeping himself between Ranma and the others with his eyes fixed on… _Mu Tsu_? Yes, Mu Tsu, who was glaring slightly at Ranma.

Ai Xia Do was, of course, assessing the situation carefully. For all she didn't really like the other Amazon elder she had to admit that Ai Xia Do more than deserved her reputation as their village's greatest living warrior. The other woman didn't know Ranma or Akane the way _she_ did, but she could still immediately sense the discord between them…

As she began to climb the stairs she wondered what had happened between them to cause the rift that she could sense, she had thought that they were over such things now.

A vague twinge of apprehension fluttered as she approached Xian Pu's door, she pushed the feeling down and reached out, opening the door and stepping inside.

Her world sunk around her as she took in the devastated room. There was no Xian Pu. Instead there was… _mess_.

Xian Pu had obviously packed in a hurry and fled. _What had she done?_ _What could she possibly have done that would make her flee?_

She had to hand it to her great-granddaughter, the girl had packed her possessions and escaped without any of them noticing, without making a sound, she _was_ good…

Almost without being aware of what she was doing she began to move. Utilising speed that she rarely reached these days she flew downstairs and out onto the street, searching for Xian Pu. She found nothing, no trace of the girl… _How long had she been gone for?_

She walked back inside, feeling strangely dazed, and sat down at one of the tables. Pain lanced across her back and ribs, before settling into a dull throb somewhere deep inside her gut. It was an unpleasant reminder of why she no longer used her full potential as a warrior. She carefully controlled her expression so that none of her pain showed on her face, she'd suffered too many injuries during her life, too many devastating wounds, and Amazon medicine could only do so much. One day, and a day not that far away she suspected, her body would give out. She had already held off death for far longer than any had expected…

Ranma's inquiring face appeared in her field of vision. "She's not here… she's… she's _left_. Gone. I don't know where, but she's taken her things," she said, her voice sounding like it was coming from far away.

She could see Mu Tsu and Akane jump to their feet in the background but he remained focussed on Ranma.

"What happened?" she asked, her mind returning to her, "You will tell me _now!_"

Ranma ran a hand through his hair and sank into one of the seats across from her.

"I don't know, not really…" he replied, "… She sprayed me with this _stuff_ that smelt like rotting meat and flowers and then…" he looked away, cringing, "And then everyone… no, not _everyone,_ but everyone who was a _guy_ started to try and…"

He didn't need to finish, she knew what he was trying to say.

"_**Ku Lon…**_" Ai Xia Do's voice sounded horrified "_**She cannot be saying what I think she's saying**_"

She ignored the other woman, though she was unable to ignore the twinge of irritation at Ai Xia Do's calling Ranma a 'she'. Ranma was Ranma, and though it may pain her what Ranma _was_ was a boy. Life would be so much easier if Ranma had been born a girl… That boy was going to be something great one day.

"Are you alright?" she asked Ranma, not liking the worried quiver in her voice, "No one managed to… did they?"

He shook her head, looking more than a little uncomfortable.

She sighed with relief before asking another question that was eating at her. "Is it possible that it was an accident?" she asked, some small foolish part of her hoping that there was a way to free herself of the guilt of her heir doing such a thing.

"_**It doesn't matter Ku Lon!**_" snarled Ai Xia Do from her seat, "_**Xian Pu used the Lotus' Curse and you know full well what that means!**_"

"Lotus' Curse?" Mu Tsu muttered in Japanese, "Where have I heard that before?"

A brief glance at the people in her Café made it obvious that she was going to have to explain; speaking quickly and over whatever Ranma, who had just opened his mouth, was going to say she began, turning her mind's eye inwards.

"_The Lotus' Curse is a potion that was developed by a member of our tribe over five hundred years ago. Her real name has long since been lost to time but she called herself The Lotus… though no one is exactly sure why."_

"_Our village had been raided by bandits, which is not an uncommon experience, and the… various versions tell it as the chief bandit, the chief bandit's son or the chief's second in command… well, whoever he was he had stolen The Lotus' younger sister."_

"_The sister (whose name is not recorded anywhere) and The Lotus were very close and when she was taken The Lotus was heartbroken. She insisted that they mount a rescue operation immediately, but too many of our people were injured and the village was almost destroyed so the elders (at that time it had been almost a hundred years since the rule of a warlord) decided to put it off for three days in order to regroup. Unfortunately the body of The Lotus' sister was found floating in the river before the three days were up."_

"_She had suffered terrible, debasing injuries, and it was the opinion of many at the time that death would have come as a merciful relief for the girl."_

"_The Lotus was furious and determined to get vengeance. Though not a great warrior she was very talented in the art of potion and medicine making so she turned her attentions to making a potion to punish the men who had stolen her sister and still had several members of our tribe as captives."_

"_The elders were not acting fast enough and our people were becoming restless. The bandits still had captives and everyone knew well enough what was happening to them, and yet the elders would not mount a rescue. They may have had good reason for it but… I can not help seeing it as unforgivable to leave members of our tribe in peril._

"_Anyway, the stories say that it took The Lotus one week to produce the potion, during which many of the younger warriors flocked to her side. When it was ready she had a large band of followers ready to raid the bandit's camp, spreading her vengeance, and retrieving captives."_

"_They attacked, they got most of the captives back alive, and they spread the potion across almost every bandit. I don't need to tell you what happened to the bandits, I imagine that your experience earlier today Ranma will give you a fair idea. Even though the potion didn't work on close family members and was required the victim to be within smelling distance of their attackers it was a terrible vengeance."_

A vengeance that she personally felt they had more than deserved and a brief glance at Ai Xia Do's face told her the other woman felt the same. They had both dealt with bandit attacks and the aftermath of bandit attacks… the broken bodies, the wounded souls… She had more medical training than the other woman and some of the things she'd seen… Anyway, she wouldn't let herself dwell.

"_The Lotus then went on to overthrow the council of elders with the help of her followers and became our next Warlord. However that story is only about the origins of the potion and not why Xian Pu is…Yes. Anyway, the potion fell into obscurity only to resurface again when I was a young woman…"_

Her mind went from imagination to remembrance. This was _her_ story, the story of an enemy who she could never forgive, even if she would tell the younger generation none of that.

"_There was another young woman… Her name has been stricken from our records and I will not let those accursed syllables pass my lips… but she was a very good fighter if incomparably arrogant. She became obsessed with… with a young man."_

He had been so beautiful back then and their happiness so assured before that woman had interfered.

"_He was beautiful, kind, sweet, gentle, intelligent… all in all everything one could want in a husband, but he was in love with, promised to, another and even though she did her best to win him from her rival he remained unswayed."_

She had been arrogant, proud and possessive, so certain of her claim on him that she had never even suspected that the woman he kept refusing would do what she had done.

"_Eventually her anger at the rejection drove her mad and she turned to… less than savoury ways to punish him for not loving her. It was during this time that she came across the recipe for The Lotus' Curse and brewed up a batch."_

The general consensus was that she'd raided The Lotus' tomb to find the recipe as there had been no surviving copies anywhere else in the village.

"_It is the potion that she made that you encountered earlier, still working and still in the same glass bottle that she used to… to…"_

Fury darted across her mind. What had happened was unforgivable, completely unforgivable.

"_When she had completed the potion she tracked down the young man who had her affections and sprayed him with it. Chaos ensued, as you can imagine. Due to the very good fortune of the young man's intended being there and the fact that she was an exceedingly good fighter he wasn't harmed, but her anger was great and her vengeance swift and brutal. She… destroyed the woman who had put her beloved in such danger and the council, agreeing with her motives if not her method, struck that woman from our records." _

She could still feel the satisfying **crunch** of bone under her fists as she'd… That woman had deserved it, more than deserved it, but the relish that she'd felt, that she still felt when she remembered that fight was a little unsettling.

She shook her mind out of the past before anyone noticed and focussed her attention firmly on Ranma's face. He was looking at her patiently, waiting for her to finish and she couldn't help but think how strange it was. How different he was becoming.

Once upon a time he would have demanded all his questions be answered at once but now he was content to wait… She wondered if it was simply him growing up, or if there was something more sinister behind his change in behaviour…

That was ridiculous. He had gone through a lot for someone his age, suffered a lot, and it was foolish to think that he could have made it through unscathed, especially after the most recent round of events.

She ignored the brief stab of guilt she felt deep inside her chest at her own responsibility for some of Ranma's suffering and turned her mind back to the business at hand. "The Lotus's Curse became one of the few potions that an Amazon is banned from using," she said, frowning sternly, "I know that you find some of our methods to be at times… _questionable_, but we do have rules…"

She paused for a moment to work out how she was going to say this, "The Lotus' Curse is forbidden, as I said, and because Xian Pu used it on you she now owes you a debt… a debt that she cannot repay."

She looked away from him, surprised at the sense of loss she felt, "I suppose I should congratulate you," he looked surprised at that, "Your… _obligation_ to Xian Pu is dissolved. To expect you to remain the husband of a woman who has done such a thing to you would be… an _abomination_. So yes, congratulations, you are free of us now."

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

He left the Cat Café feeling dazed.

His mind was still going over everything Cologne had told him, still _processing_…

It was strange, so strange… the sense of _lightness_, as if a boulder had been lifted from his shoulders, but at the same time he felt the first small stirrings of fear. He was Ranma Saotome; there was no way the universe would let him be free of Shampoo without asking for something else in return.

It didn't matter for now though, he'd just enjoy the peace while it lasted. He just wished that Akane was talking to him, he really wanted to talk to her about what had happened, but still… he had Kiyoshi, he supposed, even if it wasn't _exactly_ the same…

His eyes darted over to Kiyoshi, who was strolling next to him. Kiyoshi had kept him safe when he was unconscious, Kiyoshi had cleaned him and dressed him, Kiyoshi hadn't humiliated him or… _done anything…_ to him whilst he was helpless. Kiyoshi was a good man, a good _person_…

Kiyoshi had such big hands. He could see them dangling at the other boy's side. Big, strong, wide palms… they may not be the most graceful hands he'd ever seen, but they seemed… _reliable_. The sort of hands you could depend on, the sort of hands that could keep you safe…

His fingers twitched, just a little, with the irritating, uncontrollable desire to reach out and take the big, big hand closest to him in his own. He couldn't understand it, didn't want to understand it, but still he felt it…

It was confusing.

So confusing… but he wanted to feel those large, strong fingers twined with his own.

Kiyoshi was something else, something he'd never encountered before, and the other boy had gotten far too far under his skin… far too quickly.

His fingers twitched, his hand moved just a little, his little finger just brushed against Kiyoshi's…

He almost screamed as hot, hot water rained down on him from above…

He did scream when he noticed that he was no longer actually a _he_.

This wasn't happening, this wasn't happening… there was no way this could be happening. The water that had fallen on him was _hot_, he should have remained male, there was… there was something very wrong.

Belatedly his eyes flicked upwards, towards the roofline, to see if he could spot the origin of the water. He found nothing, not surprisingly as he hadn't checked immediately. When his eyes drifted down he saw Kiyoshi reaching out towards him with concern.

"Get back!" he shouted, slapping Kiyoshi's hand away. The other boy looked… almost… _hurt_ and he found himself quickly blurting out "I don't know what I've been splashed with, it might affect you too" to reassure him.

Kiyoshi's hurt expression smoothed over and he nodded "We should probably get back to the Tendou Dojou," he said, looking worried now, "See if it's permanent."

He nodded with resignation; he already knew what the answer would be. It was inevitable what the answer would be… _but_ he _had_ been stuck before, and he _had_ got out of it then so…

There was no point giving up hope before he had to.

He felt… _wrong_… somewhere inside his head. A strange uncertainty was eating away at him and he couldn't even work out where it was coming from.

As they walked back to the Tendou Dojou in worried silence his earlier compulsion to take Kiyoshi's hand was still there, but weakened, so he wrapped his arms around his middle, partly to comfort himself but also partly to make sure he kept his hands to himself.

Kasumi was waiting for them back at the Tendou Dojou, her face twisted into soft concern. "Ranma," she said "Did you find out anything?"

"Yeah," he nodded, speaking quickly as he headed back towards the bathroom "Shampoo sprayed me with some forbidden potion and now she's packed her bags and run off; I think she's going to be in serious trouble when the old ghoul catches her."

He could see Kasumi frowning out of the corner of her eye as she followed him. "Ranma, what's wrong?" she asked.

"I…" he mumbled, coming to a sudden stop and turning to face her, "I… Someone… someone dropped something on me… it felt like hot water, but I _changed_ and now…" he took a deep breath and let the last out in a rush, "Now I think I'm _stuck_."

"Oh…" she whispered, looking shocked for a moment before she regained her composure, "Do you know for sure?" she asked, her face serious.

He shook his head, "No."

"Alright… alright…" she said, clearly thinking about something, "Ok, you go and find out," she waved vaguely towards the bathroom, "But be careful, your father's still unconscious in the antechamber."

He blinked, _what?_ _Oh… oh yeah_. He'd only just been returning to consciousness when Kiyoshi had carried him out of the bathroom, but he _had_ noticed his old man lying curled up on his side as Kiyoshi had stepped over him. His pop was in exactly the same position when he returned to the bathroom and he took a moment to stare down at his old man.

Genma looked like crap. He really, really did… _When was the last time they'd even talked to each other?_ He wasn't sure… _it had been at least a day or so hadn't it?_ Things were changing… things were… nothing was the same any more and he wasn't even sure if he felt sorry about that.

Shaking his head he stepped over his old man and back into the bathroom.

It was funny really… now that he was here he wasn't panicking, he wasn't freaking out, he wasn't even hurrying… maybe he was going into shock, he didn't know, but…

But…

It felt like… _why was he so hesitant?_

He must be going mad. This most recent incident must have stolen the last of his sanity. He shook himself out of his fugue and quickly stripped off his clothing and doused himself with hot water.

Nothing happened.

He didn't change back.

Well… that was no surprise.

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

They were sitting in the dining room as Ranma was tried to work out what to do next. He was watching the other boy as Ranma muttered to himself, sitting hunched up next to the table.

For one strange moment it was almost as if Nodoka had never left, as if Ranma had never returned to his original form. He hadn't know Ranma long before his mother had shown up, but he more than suspected that the Ranma of old would have put up more of a protest about wearing women's clothing when Nodoka wasn't around to force him into his 'Ranko' role, but there he was, curled up in a pair of women's jeans and a flattering pale blue blouse.

He really was beautiful as a girl.

Ranma's voice sounded strained as he suddenly spoke, "Well, it can't have been Shampoo, Cologne or Mousse," he said, biting his lip, "Shampoo's disappeared, and I don't think it's likely she'd return just to get me stuck as a girl, Cologne seems to have more important things on her mind right now and she'd have nothing to gain now that Shampoo and I are no longer…" he paused and grimaced, "_Whatever we were_, and Mousse… I don't think Mousse would have a reason to do it anymore…" Ranma trailed off, looking thoughtful. "I suppose it could have been the old pervert… but I think I would have sensed him coming and he would have stayed around to brag so…" Ranma shook his head, "I have no idea who did it."

Ranma might not know but _he_ did.

Ranma hadn't even considered his family as possible suspects, which said something for how well they'd infiltrated his life. It was sort of sad and stupid really, and he felt really bad about it. He wanted Ranma to trust him, wanted to keep Ranma safe and now Ranma had had his freedom, his ability to choose who he was, taken away from him and, underneath it all, it was all _his_ fault.

There had been no sense of _threat_ as the hot water had rained down, and that combined with the flash of magenta he'd seen on the roof just after and that the wind had been blowing in just the right direction to ensure _he_ wasn't splashed…

The only thing he couldn't work out was why his mother had done the deed herself instead of getting Ryu to do it like she usually would. He'd just have to wait until Ryu showed up and then…

He couldn't go looking for his brother, he didn't want Ranma to become suspicious, and if he left to go and confront his mother Ranma might see it as abandonment in his time of need…

Although… Ranma seemed pretty distracted.

The other boy was now staring into space with a vacant expression and he didn't even twitch when Kasumi entered the room carrying a tea pot and two cups, which she placed on the table.

He could see that her attention was focussed on Ranma as she poured the tea, her eyes kept flicking over towards him and she kept biting her lip. He realised that this was the first time that he and Ranma had been, essentially (a couple of unconscious middle-aged men aside), alone in the house with her…

_He didn't really know her, did he?_

She seemed kind though, very kind, and it also seemed like she cared at least a little about Ranma which made him predisposed to like her.

As she handed him his cup of tea she whispered "Is he alright?" so that Ranma couldn't hear her asking about him.

He looked over at the other boy, who was still in la-la land, and shook his head, "No, I don't think so," he whispered back.

She nodded, looking even more conflicted, before her expression changed to one of determination. "I'm sorry but I have to go out, I have… _responsibilities_," she whispered, "Will you be alright looking after him?"

He didn't personally feel that Ranma needed looking after, but he would do his best to ensure that the other boy was safe so he nodded. She nodded back to him and left the room.

He found himself staring into his tea cup, watching the steam curl and waft into the air, unsure what to do now. _What could he do?_ He wished that this had never happened…

The sound of the door opening and closing brought him out of his fugue. He could hear someone walking further into the house… _Ryu_, those were Ryu's footsteps. Moving almost without thought he got up and headed to the door, his hot tea still in hand.

"I need to go talk to my brother for a minute, ok?" he called over his shoulder to Ranma, who made a mumbling sound of affirmation and otherwise didn't even look at him.

Moving quickly he left the room and headed towards Ryu, who was peering into the kitchen… _looking for Kasumi?_...

His brother didn't react to his approach and he couldn't help thinking that Ryu could be a fool at times as he grabbed the older man and forced him into the kitchen. He slammed Ryu against the wall next to the door and threw the hot tea into his brother's face.

Ryu didn't change. He hadn't expected him to.

Ryu was spluttering and snarling at him but he payed no attention to his brother's words, instead he wrapped his fist in the fabric of Ryu's shirt and shook him.

"What the hell is going on?!" he snarled.

"Get off me!" Ryu shrieked in return, trying to pry his hand from the expensive fabric of his shirt.

"Shut up _Ryuko_!" he snarled back, deliberately using the name that Ryu hated so much; he was not in the mood to be nice to his family currently. "Now… tell me what's going on."

Ryu looked away, not making eye-contact, even as he continued to pry absently at the fist holding him in place.

"Look…" his brother said after a pause, "I wasn't… I mean… I… I wasn't really sure it was a good idea but she went ahead anyway and…" he trailed off.

_Interesting_. Ryu didn't usually doubt their mother or go against her plans, but it sounded as if he hadn't wanted her to curse Ranma… didn't matter though, he obviously knew it was happening and had reaped the benefits himself so he felt no guilt at giving his brother another shake and demanding "What the hell did she curse him with? Is there a cure?"

Ryu shook his head and shrugged, "I don't know, she didn't say she just..."

He tuned his brother out, his attention on the fact that he would have to go and deal with his mother if he wanted answers and, hopefully, a cure for Ranma. "Stay here with Ranma," he snapped at his brother, "Keep him safe."

He released Ryu and whirled around, marching towards the door. He could hear Ryu shouting after him but he ignored his brother, he had more important things to deal with.

People to deal with.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

Well… that was like looking into a portal back in time. He'd almost forgotten what his brother used to be like before… what had happened to their father, _to their mother, to them._

For all his quiet devotion to the martial arts Kiyoshi had once had a nearly demonically _bad_ temper; he'd been a great deal like their father in fact, but after Renjirou had died… and then they'd been chucked out on the street… well Kiyoshi had gotten quieter, more contained… he'd looked after himself, become self-sufficient , been less of a bother to their mother. All in all Kiyoshi had become a good son, while he'd careened blissfully off the rails.

Oh well, such was life…

He'd never actually promised Kiyoshi to stay with Ranma, and it really was his duty to come between his brother and their mother if they were going to have the sort of fight he thought they were, so…

He pushed himself off the wall and made his way out of the kitchen and into the hallway. The house was so quiet so _still_… it was almost eerie. It didn't feel like anyone else was home, even though he knew that at least Ranma was.

He realised, with some shock, that he was standing directly opposite to the room belonging to Happosai, the man who had ruined his mother's life. Feeling almost like he was in a trance he walked across the hallway and opened the door, finding no one inside. He stepped forward and closed the door behind him…

Maybe he could gain some insight into the man who had started them all on this path, or, if not, he could at least leave some unpleasant surprises for the old man to come back to.

000

(_Aiko's POV_)

She wasn't feeling guilty. She _wasn't_. She had nothing to be guilty about, she had done nothing wrong…

_So why did her heart hurt?_

_Why did she feel so dirty?_

_Why did she feel like she'd done something unforgivable?_

She needed to be strong; she had no time for weak emotions, and what she was feeling currently was very, very weak indeed. She had her plans, she was even making progress (_finally)_ so there was no time for fainthearted emotional incontinence.

She took another swig of expensive single malt scotch contained in expensive Italian glass.

_Why did she bother? She couldn't change what she was, not deep down. __**Scum.**__** Trash. **__Filthy. __**Contaminated.**__** Defiled.**__ Worthless…_

She threw the glass hard against the wall and watched it shatter with detached satisfaction.

The front door slammed open and then even more brutally shut and she heard her younger son come stomping into the house.

Well… That _wasn't_ expected.

She waited calmly for him to find her, her hand itching to reach for the glass of scotch that she had just destroyed. She sighed, _life was like that sometimes_.

Kiyoshi's footsteps were coming closer, and she couldn't help but notice how angry they sounded… _But what right did he have to be angry? She just wanted what was best for him_.

"_What the hell did you do?!!_" he snarled as soon as he entered the room.

She raised her brow at him and replied "What I had to," sounding cold and detached to her own ears.

He shook his head, looking at her as if he didn't even know her. That hurt. "You didn't have to do _that_," he cried, "_Not that_. You have no idea what it's done to him."

She felt a strange sort of warmth, comfort, he had finally found someone he cared about and that would keep him _alive._ "No, it's _you_ who doesn't understand. You have let your heart blind you to reality; it will be _easier_ this way."

"_I don't care_," he exclaimed, looking strangely devastated, "It's not like I ever had a chance anyway."

Never… _what?_... She studied him closer. _Oh_… He was in love with Ranma. She hadn't expected him to fall in love so soon…

"I didn't expect you to fall in love with Ranma so soon," in a moment of complete stupidity she voiced that last sentiment, "I mean… I expected affection to grow over time, but I thought it _would_ take time."

He was glaring at her, but she could see vulnerability under his gaze. "If you knew him… if you spent any time with him then you'd understand," he said, pain in his voice, "He is… _lovely_. Beautiful, kind, intelligent, sweet and so, so vulnerable. His family may have hurt _us_, but they have hurt him as well. He is _innocent_, and he deserves _**better**_ than your plans for him."

She scoffed, "It wouldn't matter if I got to know him, I'm doing the right thing."

"It _would _matter," he countered, looking as stubborn as his father had once been, "But you haven't even shown up _once_ after that first time…"

Suddenly his eyes narrowed on her with laser like precision. "You couldn't could you?" he declared "Not if you saw him as a person instead of some pawn in your plans. That's why you've stayed away isn't it?"

She flinched back as if she'd been struck, _how dare he… to suggest…_ "Don't you call me weak." She snarled, "I'm not… I'm _not_ weak."

He looked taken aback "I wasn't…"

She ignored him, a mess of hurt and broken thought erupting from her mouth in a rush "You have no idea… _no idea_. I crawled my own way out of the gutter, I have sacrificed so _much_ for you and your brother and that was ok because I never… I never, _never_ wanted my children to hurt the way I had been hurt. I never wanted someone to hurt you the way… You're all I have left and I… I love you both so much so I will do what I have to to make sure you are happy." As she finished speaking she vaguely heard the front door open and close, much less violently this time.

Some time during her outburst he had gathered himself and snapped back with "But it's not about my _happiness_, if it was then you'd leave Ranma alone. No… it's your own _pride_ that's driving you."

She felt like she had been slapped. Nothing mattered more to her than her children. _Nothing._ "My pride may be part of it… but…"

She was interrupted by Ryu walking into the room, a strange look on his face and his arms full of…

_No…_

_It couldn't be…_

_It __**was**_…

He threw them on the ground in front of her feet and she watched in shock as they rolled across the floor, one of coming undone and unrolling, exposing words and diagrams as it bounced towards the bar before coming to a hesitant stop.

"H… _How?_" she murmured, feeling as though she was going into shock.

"I found them in Happosai's room," he said, sounding strangely serious, "Your father was _wrong,_ they weren't destroyed. Not all of them."

She knelt down shakily, her hands reaching out to gather up the scrolls. She unrolled and rerolled them one by one, checking to make sure they were what they appeared to be.

They were.

_Her family's scrolls…_

Not all of them, but enough. _Enough_.

She no longer needed Ranma.

"Tell me how to reverse what you did to Ranma," Kiyoshi's voice sounded like it was coming from a long way away, but it was gentle. Unbearable gentle.

She nodded shakily, unable to take her eyes off the scrolls.

"It's water from Juusenkyo, from the Spring of Drowned Girl," she said "I got to thinking one day, wondering if the temperature of the water had any effect on the curse."

"I didn't think it would work, but it was worth a shot, so I called someone in China who owed me a favour and got him to collect some water from both the Spring of Drowned Man and the Spring of Drowned Girl, because I figured that if it worked I might as well lock Ryu at the same time."

"I tried it out on Ryu first, and much to my surprise, it _did _work. So I heated up all of the water from the Spring of Drowned Girl and went to find Ranma… You know what happened next."

"So there's no cure?" Kiyoshi interrupted her to ask.

She shook her head "No. No there is, _potentially._ I used all the water on Ranma, but just in case something went wrong and I accidentally turned Ryu back into a full-time girl I didn't use all the water from the Spring of Drowned Man. There's some still left, _not much_ mind, barely half a cup full, but it should be enough to revert him to the way he was before. It's in the kitchen."

She barely registered it as Kiyoshi left the room and eventually the house, too distracted by the scrolls. It almost startled her as Ryu knelt down in front of her, taking the scrolls from her with gentle hands and helping her to her feet.

"It will be alright," he said, his eyes soft.

She wanted to believe him but she just couldn't. It didn't feel alright, it didn't feel like it could ever be alright again.

_What had she done?_

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

He felt… _strange_.

Wrong beyond measure.

All he knew was that he knew what he was supposed to do in this situation, but he just didn't have the motivation for once.

He should be trying to find a way out, trying to escape this most recent round of bad luck with his curse and instead he was just… _waiting_.

It wasn't that he wanted to stay female, because he _didn't_, it was just…

Kiyoshi.

It was Kiyoshi and his big hands and he wasn't sure, didn't know, if Kiyoshi would want to put those hands on him if he was a guy… Because Kiyoshi was straight, _wasn't he?_ And he was… he was…

_What had he just thought?!_

He forced that thought out of his mind brutally. It didn't… He _couldn't_… A man amongst men would never… with another guy, and his mother had made it more than clear how she felt about… about… _homosexuality_… the last time he'd spoke to her, so there was no use even…

Not that he was. But still…

He had no idea how long he'd been here, curled up… Time felt almost meaningless and that's the way he wanted it. He just wanted to be empty, without thought, for just a little while…

After a few seconds, after an eternity… he wasn't sure which… he felt a presence behind himself and as he turned to see who it was hot, hot water rained down on him for the second time in one day.

He felt the change as it happened; for once not entirely welcome but at the same time a relief beyond measure. His hands did a brief check to make sure everything was there before he looked properly at his saviour.

Kiyoshi.

Kiyoshi had fixed him.

He moved on instinct, flinging himself at the other boy and wrapping his arms around his neck. It took him a second to realise what he'd done and then another second to fight off the urge to hold Kiyoshi tighter.

They remained in their embrace for several long minutes, as he treasured the other's warmth leaching into his flesh, before Kiyoshi gently pushed him away.

He looked up into the other boy's face and found… _devastation_. Kiyoshi looked almost broken, so very sad, and he found that he wanted to make that pain go away.

Before he could do anything Kiyoshi opened his mouth to speak, cold words coming out in a dead voice…

000

(_Kiyoshi's POV_)

He let himself savour the press of Ranma's flesh for as long as his sense of honour would let him. It was, after all, the last chance he would ever have to touch the other boy.

Eventually his conscience's screaming got to be too much for him and he pushed Ranma away gently. He gazed down into Ranma's beautiful eyes for a second, his heart breaking, before opening his mouth to speak. Ranma deserved the truth.

"I… I'm sorry. It was my mother who…" he started, before swallowing his grief heavily, "Who did that to you earlier, but I've sorted it out. I've…"

"A long time ago your Master, Happosai, stole the scrolls containing the martial arts techniques of my mother's family. She believed them to be destroyed, so when she discovered who your father was she devised a plan to recover at least some of their techniques."

Ranma was frowning up at him, obviously at a loss.

Barely able to make himself keep speaking he forced the rest of the words out. Ranma was going to hate him after this. "She wanted me to marry you so our children would be able to produce a new school in honour of her, _our_, ancestors. That's why… not because of the debt your father got into, but… but…" he shut his eyes, unable to continue looking at Ranma, "Ryu went into Happosai's room today and he found some of the scrolls so…"

He took a deep, agonised breath, "So we no longer need you. So you're free of us. Free… No one expects us to get married any more." He wasn't going to cry, he _wasn't_, "So I'll leave now. Get out of your life. I'm so, so sorry…"

He opened his eyes; Ranma looked shocked and not in a good way.

There was just one more thing he had to say before he left, he didn't know if he was out of line but he couldn't leave with Ranma thinking he had just been using him.

"I just want you to know," he said, wincing internally at the choked up sound of his voice, "I want you to know that I really do like you. That I've enjoyed spending time with you… You're… you're… I…" he couldn't say it. He couldn't…

_What did it matter?_ Knowing the truth, knowing how he felt would only hurt Ranma, so, making up his mind, he gave Ranma a pained smile – more of a grimace really – and said "Goodbye Ranma… Goodbye," before whirling around and walking away.

Away from the only pure, untainted happiness that he'd known since his father's death.

It felt like _he_ was dying.

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

He knew he should feel betrayed, but all he felt was emptiness, heartbreak. It felt like the universe was falling in on him. Like he was imploding. Breaking into a thousand pieces. He couldn't understand it. The sense of loss he felt, like his heart was being ripped out.

He didn't know how long he stood there, but at some point he heard the phone ring shortly followed by Kasumi calling out hesitantly "Ranma… that was Auntie Saotome. She's coming home; she should be back in an hour or so, so you might want to… you know."

He remained standing there for a while longer before he heard footsteps stomping into the room and his father bellowed, "_What the hell is going on boy?!_ What were you doing in the bathroom with that Kiyoshi Kurosawa?!"

He ignored him. It felt like nothing mattered anymore.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

He needed a break, needed _air_, so he'd left the house, his mother, and taken to the streets.

He'd stayed a while after Kiyoshi had stormed off to release Ranma from his curse-locked state. He'd examined the scrolls, studied the techniques, as his mother poured glass after glass of scotch which she'd downed with barely a flinch. He knew she felt bad, she was a kind person underneath it all, she didn't like hurting people, but his concern for her had been swept away under a new sense of purpose.

Over the years he'd spent far too much time bumming-around, doing what he liked, but now… He'd once been on the path to becoming a great martial artist, but it had all been too easy. Far too easy. And there were more interesting, challenging, things to occupy his time.

However… working out the scrolls, studying the techniques, _learning _them would be a challenge. A challenge that he felt should be his.

His father's martial arts style had never really suited him so he'd felt more than comfortable borrowing techniques where he found them, but after five minutes of looking at the scrolls he had seen that the Aoyama style was more suited to his talents than the Kurosawa.

It was…

He had never thought that _he_ could have a role in resurrecting the Aoyama style of martial arts, never thought that it was any of his business really. He wasn't sure why.

But now… Now he had purpose. Responsibility. He was even finally a _he_. Properly a _he_. He would never be a girl again…

He felt good. Really good.

He knew that his brother was probably having his heart broken right this moment, but even that thought couldn't bring him down. He could be a bastard at times, he knew that.

He was a new man. A new _man_.

Finally realising where he was he looked around to find himself in the middle of Nerima's shopping district. A glint of gold out of the corner of his eye drew his attention to the jewellery shop across the road.

In a daze he walked over, hypnotised by the gleam and glitter of hundred of sparkling gems. He was a new man…

_A new man…_

He wasn't what he used to be, no, he was ready now.

Ready for responsibility.

He entered the shop.

000

(_Ai Xia Do's POV_)

Things had felt wrong all day. Badly wrong.

She had learned to trust her feelings over the years, learned to trust those bitter niggling worries in the back of her head. They were rarely wrong.

She had wanted to stay longer, pass some of her wisdom onto Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendou but…

It was a pity, but she could feel the end coming. Feel her death coming.

_It was too soon_, f_ar too soon_…

She needed to get back, needed to keep her family safe…

Akane Tendou and Mu Tsu had left shortly after breakfast, gone to school, and even though she'd promised to meet Ranma Saotome later, to teach him something, by the time lunch had rolled around her anxiety had almost been choking her.

She had to leave, she couldn't bear it if she was too late…

It didn't look like she'd be seeing Akane Tendou, Ranma Saotome or her precious son ever again.

She had left her goodbyes with Ku Lon as well as some presents for her baby boy and the woman who he would marry. She had also left a hastily written scroll containing a couple of simple techniques that would help his speed for Ranma Saotome and a letter for Akane Tendou that would, hopefully, force her to see sense and ensure that she _did_ marry Mu Tsu.

If she was lucky, and hopefully she would be, she would have a chance to write down some more (if not all) of her techniques before the battle occurred. That way she could send them to Japan with her daughters and husband when they fled to the safety of Ku Lon's little empire.

She had a rag with a some of Ranma's blood on it from after their fight – she'd been very careful to collect some of it whilst he was out of it, just in case – and that way she could create a seal that would ensure that he was the only one that could view the scrolls, she wouldn't want them falling into the… _wrong_ hands.

It saddened her that she would never be able to hold Mu Tsu again, that she would never be able to comfort him, but she trusted Akane Tendou (and Ranma, if she was honest) to take care of him, and it was better if he had no idea of what was about to happen.

It was better if they _all_ had no idea of what was about to happen.

If there was any hope for a future for the Amazon's they _needed_ Ku Lon; she was one of the few sane, rational voices left, and as much as it pained her to admit it the older woman was probably one of the few Amazon's able to adapt to the times in which they lived.

The Amazon's needed to survive, but the Amazon's as they would shortly be were not her people, so she felt absolutely no compunction at the lives she would have to take in order to see her family away safely.

She was a warrior, and it was a tragedy for a warrior not to die in battle. She had no intention of getting old and watching her body fail like Ku Lon. No. She would go out with a bang.

She let one solitary tear slip down her cheek for her people, for the son she would never see again, for Ranma Saotome – the daughter she had never had, before gathering herself and stepping forward through the glass doors of the airport.

She was ready now.

Ready for the freedom of battle, the embrace of death.

000


	35. The Beginning Of

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 33: The beginning of…

Rating: Teen-ish.

Disclaimer: Not mine; no way, no how.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/Hitomi.

Author's notes:

Second last chapter. Eek.

I've only got about another three minutes that I can spend doing this so I won't write anything else here, aside from that I hope you enjoy it and please forgive me for not responding to your reviews, I really haven't been able to (and after I promised to do better too.)

Final Note:

Thank you for reading. Thank you again if you review. Thank you for putting up with me.

_**You are all fantastic**_.

000

(_Nodoka's POV_)

Ranko was acting so strange. So very strange…

The girl was usually so attentive, so considerate, but Ranko had been distracted ever since she'd returned.

There was obviously something wrong. She had rung ahead when she had known that she would be returning to the Tendou's and Kasumi had promised that someone would tell Ranko she was coming back, but the girl had already been in bed when she arrived.

It was even worse this morning. Ranko was sitting at the breakfast table staring blankly into space and paying no one any attention. She was, to be honest, sort of irritated by this. She had so wanted to talk to someone about what had happened, about why she had come back, and she was sure that Ranko would be a sympathetic ear.

She sometimes wondered how some people could exist in the world the way they were… and her recent experience trying to help her friend had only reinforced this opinion.

Tamiko was her friend, her neighbour, they lived only a few houses away from each other. The other woman could be kind, could be sweet, but there was always something slightly artificial about it. They'd met when Tamiko, her husband and her son had first moved to the area and Tamiko had needed someone to show her around.

Unfortunately _she_ had offered to do just that.

The thing about Tamiko was, well, that she was so pathetic, so weak. She always had been, at that. Too prone to crying, to fluttering around, to nerves and doing anything to please anyone but being so darkly resentful; deep down. It was, honestly, a bit tiresome.

She had responded to her son's upset, his rage, his announcement of what had happened by becoming hysterical. That wasn't, of course, helpful. Everything had spiralled out of control, and eventually Tamiko had rung her asking for help and nursing a bruised cheek.

So she had gone to her friend's rescue and she had _almost, __**almost**_ gotten everything sorted out. Got that stupid boy to understand that he was right, that his feelings were _wrong_, and then the young man who had seduced him, led him astray, had shown up.

Tall, slender, darkly handsome, and with an heir of sinful wickedness. The first thing she had caught herself thinking was _what a boy like that would want with Tamiko's plain, boring, stupid son?_ The second thing was that he didn't look like the sort of boy who would give up on something that he wanted.

Which he hadn't been.

Within minutes of his arrival he'd undone all her hard work and had Tamiko's stupid boy all but eating out of his hand. She hadn't been pleased. However her displeasure had nothing on Tamiko's reaction, on the pure, unadulterated _hysteria_ that she'd unleashed.

It had all deteriorated into a screaming, shouting, wailing, crying mess… and then Uyeda, Tamiko's husband, had shown up, fresh off the aeroplane.

He'd walked into the whole mess, taken one look at the arrogant boy who had been snarling at her, and gone pale. About half an hour later she had been walking out of their front door, bags in hand, Tamiko whimpering apologies at her, and Tamiko's stupid, foolish son curled up in the arms of the favourite son of Uyeda's boss.

She was, she was certain, completely disgusted with them all.

Her husband, her Genma, would _never_ throw the health and wellbeing of his family aside to preserve his job prospects. He wasn't like that. He had honour… the honour of a thief, but it was still _honour_.

She missed him, she really did. Most of the time she didn't let her mind dwell on it, but sometimes it became too much for her. The loneliness, the waiting, not knowing how he was…

Oh well, nothing she could do about it now.

She glanced back at Ranko, who was unresponsive, and sighed. This was also getting tiresome.

Neither of the Kurosawas had shown up yet and she couldn't help but wonder if, perhaps, that was the reason that Ranko was so despondent. If it was the reason then she couldn't help but think that it was incredibly sweet, if a little inconvenient for her, that Ranko was missing Kiyoshi.

Kasumi entered the room carrying the last of the breakfast food, which she carefully placed on the table before frowning and turning to Ranko, "Ranko… Um… Did Kiyoshi say if he'd be coming around today when you saw him last night?"

Something strange and broken flashed across Ranko's face before the girl shook her head and spoke out in a dead voice "No. He's not. He's not coming back. It's… over."

She could feel her jaw drop as a rush of horrible, wretched sympathy washed through her. "Oh Ranko…" she didn't want to pry, but she had to know "What happened?"

Ranko shook her head, a bitter twist to her mouth "Nothing… not really. It was all… all nothing. A lie." She was sure, in that moment, that Ranko was about to burst into tears, but somehow Ranko gathered herself and continued with steely composure "It doesn't matter anyway, its better this way. At least he'll have a chance… a chance to find someone that will make him happy."

Running on instinct she reached out and pulled Ranko to her, wrapping her arms around the girl. Ranko let her, didn't protest, but when she'd pulled her close Ranko didn't even react, just sat there like a stone, or a corpse.

It was sad, tragic even, and she felt her heart break for the girl. She still didn't understand what had happened, _maybe he'd cheated on her?_ _If he had then he would be in for a nasty surprise when __**she**__ got her hands on him,_ but there was still time for her to find out.

She had to find out.

So she'd suggest that Ranko took the day off school (what could _one_ day off every now and then hurt) and they'd spend the day together, she was certain that she could weasel the truth out of Ranko before long, and then do her best to fix it.

000

(_Ukyou's POV_)

She'd been thinking. Thinking about Ranchan, about what she wanted, about what she felt and she had reached a conclusion. That conclusion was…

_She didn't know._

She just… her feelings towards Ranma were a tangle inside her head. A confused, muddled mess, and she couldn't quite work out where they beginned and where they ended. She wasn't sure, not anymore, that she'd ever really _loved_ him in a romantic sense, but she knew that _did_ love him as a friend.

That didn't stop the hurt though. That didn't stop the betrayal, or the anger that she'd felt when he and his father had disappeared from her life taking her father's okonomiyaki cart and her dignity and honour with them. She knew now that he hadn't realised what was happening, didn't even know she was a girl instead of a boy, but it still _hurt_. There'd been so many years of that hurt and that shame compared to the time she'd spent enlightened to the truth.

It had had such a big impact on her life. An impact that she needed to exorcise.

Not matter what else there was between him, his family owed her for that okonomiyaki cart so… she had an idea, a way to make things… if not right, then a little more… acceptable… and to give herself time to untangle the thoughts and feelings about Ranma.

So that was why she was here, at the Tendou Dojou, before school on a morning shrouded with an ominously dark sky, her hand raised to alert the inhabitants of the house to her presence. It was strange, there was something in the air… like electricity, like a storm on the horizon.

She looked up at the sky, it was an unpleasant shade of slatey, greeny, blue-grey, _yes, there was a storm coming, _it was inevitable, the weather had been so good recently.

Shaking off whatever strange mood had struck her, she knocked on the door and waited. Barely thirty seconds had passed before the door opened, exposing a frowning Kasumi.

She smiled stiffly and asked "Is Ran…_chan_ there?"

Kasumi frowned harder and glanced back into the house with trepidation before nodding her head, "I'll bring… her… out, OK?"

"Alright…" she replied, wondering what was wrong.

Kasumi shrugged and stepped back into the house, shutting the door behind her, which left her staring pointlessly at the front door. As she waited patiently for Kasumi to return with Ranma it occurred to her that maybe she'd arrived at one of those times when chaos was erupting in Ranma's life… _why did he put up with it?_ She hadn't really thought about it before, but it must make life difficult for him to always be surrounded by such chaos. It didn't take long for the door to open again, and she found herself staring at a Ranma she wasn't sure she recognised.

_He looked tormented._

Her body reacted before her mind had finished processing, stepping back, away from him. There was something about this that she just didn't like, something about the look in his eyes…

He stepped out of the house and walked towards her, "What do you want Ukyou?" he asked in a dead voice.

She flinched, and then cringed, ashamed of her reaction. "I wanted to talk to you…"

He didn't say anything else, just stared at her with cold eyes. She wanted to ask how he was, ask what was wrong, but he didn't look like he wanted to talk to her and she _needed_ to say what she needed to say.

She squeezed her eyes shut so she couldn't see him and get distracted, before taking a deep breath. "You don't love me, I don't know if I love you. We may or not make each other miserable, but all that doesn't matter," she risked a peak at his blank face before closing her eyes again and continuing, "Your family owes my family the price of one okonomiyaki cart and I _will_ have the money. I propose that you work for me until the debt is payed off and then, and only then, I'll call the engagement off."

Taking a few seconds to gather her courage she opened her eyes to see his reaction. Even though that same sense of _wrong_, of hurt, was still there in his face he was actually looking at her, _seeing_ her and when she met his eyes he nodded. "Alright."

"Alright," she parroted back to him before shaking her head to gather her thoughts, "I thought that you could work the dinner shift during the week, starting Monday, and do the lunch shift on the weekend so you can have dinner with your old man and the Tendous."

He nodded, "Sounds alright."

She nodded back, feeling foolish and obsolete, "I'll see you on Monday then?"

He nodded and turned to go back into the house. She watched him go wondering if it was alright that she hadn't even asked how he was.

000

(_Ranma's POV_)

He'd had a bad night, a bad morning, and it looked like he was going to have a bad day. He felt trapped inside his mind, looking out at the world from behind a glass window, stuck inside with his swirling thoughts. He'd realised something, something that was, on reflection, blindingly obvious.

He was in love with Kiyoshi Kurosawa.

That made him an idiot. It did. That just showed exactly how stupid he could be. _What was he thinking?_ Kiyoshi was a _guy_. Kiyoshi was…

His mother would _kill_ him. She would. And she was back now too, back and trying to get _Ranko_ to come out of her shell and elaborate on what had happened to loose _her_ a fiancé. He couldn't even think how he could _begin_ to explain what had happened.

Bloody Happosai.

It was all such a mess and he really, really didn't know what to do.

At least it looked like Ukyou would be off his back soon enough, maybe once they were no longer engaged they could go back to being just friends. Maybe.

His footsteps felt heavy, as if his body was made of lead, as he walked back to the dining room. He passed Kasumi, who was watching him with concern, and did his best to give her a reassuring smile. He owed her one; she'd smoothed everything over with his old man the night before, when his brain hadn't been working properly.

Not liking the sense of dread he felt he walked back into the dining room and sat down next to his mother, his hand reaching out for the cup of tea Kasumi had just delivered just before the doorbell had rung.

Nodoka was frowning at him and he couldn't quite bring himself to smile for her, or bring himself to care about the look on his pop's furry, monochromatic face. His mother frowned at him before shaking her head. "Oh Ranko…" he heard her whisper.

They sat there in the awkward silence for far too long, waiting for he-didn't-know-what to snap them out of it.

He missed Akane, wished so badly that he could talk to her about this, about how he felt, but she was at school and still so very angry with him. He hated that, wished he'd known better, wished he hadn't gone along with Ryouga. He'd _known_ that it was wrong, deep down.

His mother's voice suddenly intruded into his thoughts "Why don't I get the recipe books? We can bake something, it might take your mind off… off whatever has happened."

_Bake something…_ Actually that wasn't such a bad idea; he sort of liked cooking and it would take _her_ mind off trying to find out what had happened with him and Kiyoshi.

000

(_Hitomi's POV_)

Her lunch sat forgotten in her lap as her mind wandered.

She hadn't realised before she'd spent the night at Nabiki's house, exactly how chaotic the other girl's life was. It was strange, very strange. She'd admired Nabiki for such a long time, seen in her such strength, such intelligence, so many good qualities, but she had never quite seen how vulnerable the other girl was. Well, she actually didn't think that even Nabiki realised how vulnerable she was.

Being in that house, amongst those people, even after whatever had happened (Nabiki hadn't explained it to her, and she hadn't wanted to push) to cause the sense of agonised disquiet that she'd felt from them all, she could sense this quiet misery permeating the building. This sense of loss and loneliness…

She wondered how Nabiki could have stood growing up there, and if it had anything to do with how Nabiki could be at times. Her capacity for cruelty. She wasn't delusional, she wasn't… for all that Nabiki was to her, she had never let it blind her to the other girl's faults.

But, sometimes, a person's faults made them more attractive, made them more _real_, made them someone tolerable instead of someone so perfect that spending even five minutes with them made you want to kill them… and then sometimes a person's faults were the thing that made you feel that way…

She looked over to Yuuka and Aoi, who were huddled together whispering and giggling, with annoyance. They weren't taking her… _association_… with Nabiki too well and were doing their best to make her even more miserable than usual.

She was sick of them, to be honest, and these days she had begun to wonder why she even had anything to so with them or their circle of friendly sycophants. It was habit, she supposed, more than anything else.

A warm tingle down the back of her neck, something she couldn't explain, alerted her to Nabiki headed over towards them. She smiled a smile that she hoped wasn't too dopey or idiotic looking at the other girl and felt herself flush with pleasure when Nabiki smiled back.

"Oh _God_, not again," Aoi whined at a very irritating pitch.

She flashed her eyes over to her unhappy pseudo-friend to see the girl glancing from her to Nabiki and back to her, a strangely mixed expression on her face. She shook her head, _she just didn't seem to care about what the others thought of her anymore_, and began to get to her feet only to have Yuuka's bony hand with those overly-long claw-like nails shoot out and wrap around her forearm.

She looked down into Yuuka's eyes, hidden behind her new, pale-blue, coloured contacts, and frowned. "What?"

"We've been talking," Yuuka said, sounding completely serious for once, "And we've decided that it's either us or _her_."

She blinked twice, before speaking with artificial politeness, "What do you mean?"

"Nabiki Tendou's…" Yuuka half smirked to her self, "_Bad news_. She's not one of us and we don't like you being friendly with her. She'll hurt you Hitomi, use you, abuse you, hell, probably turn you into more of her porn and we don't want to be part of it, so, yes, it's either us or her."

Yuuka looked entirely too confident, and when she glanced over at Aoi she could see that same arrogance on her face. _They thought she'd choose __**them**__, be content with remaining their __**pet**__…_ She smiled softly at Yuuka, the first pure, _real_ smile she had shown her in such a very long time, and _yanked_ her arm out of the startled girl's grip.

She walked away from her not-quite-friends (not bothering to acknowledge their protests) away from her old life, her old self, and over to her future. To Nabiki. To the person who greeted her with a _real_ smile, whose hand reached out and took her own, who looked back the way she had come and smiled a smile full of pure, unadulterated triumph before softening as she turned to face her.

She smiled back, happy… _free_… and let Nabiki lead her away from her past.

000

(_Genma's POV_)

He hated this. _Hated_. It was wrong, all wrong, everything was _wrong_.

He should be happy, yes he should, that bloody _Kurosawa_ was finally gone, out if his son's life, but the boy's misery… it was a little more difficult to ignore than he'd thought it would be.

It was like… the last time the boy had been like this, so keen on pretending he wasn't real, was just after… after… it had been a mistake, he knew that now, the Nekoken training and it had been so, so awful after. Ranma quiet and shocky, not speaking for _days_, not reacting to anything and it been just too much so he'd done it again. Told himself that he was trying to help Ranma get over it, that it would be better if the boy confronted his fears, when really he'd just wanted Ranma to react to something, _anything_, and even hearing his screams had been a _relief_.

It was wrong and he'd _broken _his son in some way he couldn't quite touch, couldn't bring himself to acknowledge, and now Ranma was acting broken again.

_Would it really be so bad?_

_Would it?_

Kiyoshi seemed a nice enough boy, in his own way, and he had noticed that the Kurosawa was better at _respecting_ his son than anyone else Ranma was engaged to. The… _nature_… of the relationship aside- his feeling of unease and disquiet and slight _disgust_ at the idea of his son being involved with another _boy_- the main problem was Nodoka. His wife. Ranma's mother. Nodoka and his bloody _stupid_ promise.

If only he could go back in time, stop himself; everyone would be so much happier.

He could even go back home, go back to her… he missed her so much, so much of the time. It was almost as if time had erased the sharp edge of how he'd felt back then, and he felt that if he only had another chance to make things right, to be with her, he wouldn't make the same mistakes.

It didn't matter though. No. It was all broken now and he couldn't have it all, couldn't have his entire family healthy and whole.

If Nodoka ever found out that Ranma was Ranko all hell would break loose, and even if they found a way to return Ranma to his previous self he didn't know if it could erase Ranma's feelings, the memory of Kiyoshi Kurosawa, and Ranma's resulting misery.

So yes, it was all broken now, and he couldn't help feel that it was his own damn fault.

000

(_Ryu's POV_)

He smoothed down his best suit one last time and met his own mocking eyes in the mirror_. He looked good._ Checking his hair one last time he gathered his courage, _this was going to be an interesting day. _

He strolled out of the bathroom, trying desperately to ignore the burning weight in his pocket.

The house felt empty as he walked through it; his mother wasn't home- she was at work, no doubt trying to exorcise her own guilt over what had happened- and Kiyoshi… Kiyoshi was out in the garden, staring off into nothing. He felt a momentary pang of guilt over leaving his brother, but he had more pressing worries, and he'd be back later.

Kiyoshi was being an idiot, a real idiot. If he loved Ranma, truly loved Ranma, he should be fighting to win Ranma properly now that the secret most likely to tear them apart had been exposed and dealt with, instead of lurking around as if his world was ending.

The problem was, though, that his brother was just too timid, too much of a coward. If it was _him_ in that situation he wouldn't let thing remain like this.

No, he didn't like waiting, didn't like being miserable. He liked _action_. Action…

_Oh shit, what was he doing?_

_This was a mistake, a __**mistake.**_

He shook off his doubts; he was doing the right thing, he'd be happy in the long run.

As he left the house he noticed that the sky was an unhealthy shade of grey and the air felt as if a storm was coming. _Appropriate weather then, for what he was about to do_.

He walked to the Tendou Dojou with a deliberately empty mind, knowing that if he let himself think he'd want to run away. He knocked on the door and waited, his heart in his throat, for Kasumi to let him in. The door opened, revealing her standing there looking so strangely appealing, and oddly enough some of his anxiety left him. _She wasn't Kana, it would be alright_.

She cocked her head at him and smiled and before he knew it he was smiling back, _she really was beautiful._ She stepped aside and walked back into the house, leaving him to shut the door behind himself. He toed off his shoes and followed her back to the kitchen, where she returned to packing things into her basket.

"Kiyoshi not with you?" she asked, not looking up.

"No," she mustn't know what happened, "He's at home."

"Ah…" she sighed, before fixing him with a frown, "When you go back home could you tell him that Ran… _ko_… is really upset, so I would be _very grateful_ if he'd come back and fix whatever he's done." She really didn't know, but he found the concern in her voice when she spoke about Ranma to be very… _sweet_, sweet and strangely appealing. After Kana he found that there was just _something_ about kind women. "As it is Auntie Saotome is doing her best to cheer… _her…_ up, but I don't know how good of a job she's doing. She's sent Ranko down to the shops to pick up the ingredients for some cake that they'll be baking…" she continued talking, paying him far less attention than he wanted her to,

"Kasumi…" he interrupted her, he _had_ to, he'd come here for a reason and that reason wasn't watching her pack food into a basket and ramble on about his brother's mistakes. "Kasumi… I want…"

She looked up at him, obviously his tone had finally gotten through, and asked "Ryu? What is it?"

He forced himself to meet her gaze and began to ramble, "I… I _like_ you, more than I've liked anyone in far, far too long, and I can't quite bring myself to imagine life without you. Things are different now, I finally have some purpose in life, and… well… _Ryuko_ is gone. Never coming back." He took a deep breath and tried to ignore the confusion on her face, "I don't know if I _love_ you and I don't think you love me, but I do think that we'd make each other happy, that we'd get along… so what I'm trying to say is…"

He reached into his pocket and brought out that tiny, heavy box. He looked down at it once- thinking to himself that once he did this he couldn't undo it- and held it out towards her.

000

(_Ryouga's POV_)

He was confused, confused and _angry_. Confused, angry and, for once, not actually lost. He was still in Nerima, he hadn't quite managed to leave yet, something he wasn't sure was a blessing or a curse.

He'd been thinking about Ranma a lot, constantly really, and he couldn't escape the thought that maybe, just maybe, _he_ was actually attracted, if not in love, with the other boy. How else could he explain having thrown himself at Ranma in such an embarrassing way?

It was unbearable, _the very thought…_

It was eating away at his mind, eating away at his sense of self, and things couldn't go on like that. They just couldn't. _He_ couldn't…

So he'd decided that it was time to deal with Ranma once and for all. He wasn't _exactly_ sure what he was going to do, but it did involve making sure Ranma was in his male form and beating him into a soft, squishy pulp. _You couldn't love a pulp, could you?_

As it was he wasn't sure where, exactly, in Nerima he was, but that didn't matter so much because he was enjoying a nice breakfast of a steamed pork bun and a flask of hot tea that he'd bought from one of the little Chinese restaurants near the park where he'd camped. Of course he'd have to find somewhere to shelter before the storm that was threatening broke, but he guessed that he had a good few minutes left before that became a priority.

He finished the pork bun and took a sip of the still very hot tea as he walked around the corner into another street. A very familiar street… There was the Tendou Dojou, just up ahead.

Shrugging, almost unable to believe his good luck, he sped up, coming closer and closer to the woman with red hair who was taking her shopping home…

_Woman with red hair?_

It _was_. He could see that now, in the walk, in the way she was carrying herself.

Ranma.

"Ranma Saotome, prepare to die!" he was shouting before he even realised it, letting his body have free reign.

Ranma whirled to face him, a look of… _was that fear?_... on that pretty face. "Ryouga! Don't! _Please_…"

He ignored his rival, instead throwing his tea into Ranma's face so that Ranma was back to _Ranma_, and lashing out. Ranma ducked his blow, that fear still present and opened his mouth to say something. He ignored the other boy, instead focussing on the fight, on making Ranma fight, as his rival seemed to be trying to avoid it.

He needed this. _Needed_ it. It had to be over, once and for all.

000

(_Nodoka's POV_)

Ranko had been gone a long time, _maybe she should have gone with her_, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Trying to make Ranko more confident by sending her out by herself, and, to be honest, she had been just a little sick of dealing with Ranko's depression.

She knew it was selfish, stupid, but there had always been a part of her that was never very tolerant when dealing with other people's problems.

Her tea was getting cold, she'd probably have to go and ask Kasumi to make her another pot, but she didn't really want to. She didn't really like Kasumi, and she more than suspected that Kasumi didn't really like _her _either. It was tiresome, so very tiresome… she was sick to death of staying with the Tendous. _Maybe when her house was fixed she could ask Ranko to stay with her for a while? _She did like Ranko, even if she didn't really like anyone else with the last name 'Tendou'.

_Maybe she should go and get Ranko, it looked like there was going to be a storm any minute now…_

"Ranma Saotome, prepare to die!"

The shout echoed through the house, through _her_…

_Ranma_…

She was on her feet and running to the front door before she'd even had a chance to think, she erupted out onto the street with even bothering to put on her shoes, ignoring the sting of gravel digging into her feet.

_There_… a boy, dark haired, slender, slight… but he looked like, he looked like _her._

He could see her, could see her looking, and there was recognition in his eyes. _It was, her __**son…**_

He was fending off another boy who had obviously challenged him, a slightly taller, heavier set boy, but she could see that his heart wasn't in the fight.

She opened her mouth to call out to him, to call the fight off, when, with a sudden flash of lightening and a crack of thunder, the skies opened, pouring freezing rain down on them all.

She was still looking at him, still looking… as _he_ became…

"_RANKO?!!!"_

000

This is not a death fic. It's _not_! I promise.


	36. The End

Title: Ranma's… Husband? 35: … The End.

Rating: Teen-ish.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma, Ryu/Kasumi, Nabiki/Hitomi.

Author's notes:

The end.

Wow…

Oh, and most people are pretty screwed up for this bit.

Oh, oh, and their will be notes right at the end.

Final Note:

Thank you for reading. Thank you again if you review or have reviewed. Thank you for putting up with me.

_**You are all fantastic**_.

000

(_Kasumi_)

She had been about to leave, to go and do what she must to keep their family afloat, even after Ryu had… when she heard Nodoka's shout. The second the shriek rent the air it felt as though her heart had stopped. She had a bad feeling about this, a very, very bad feeling…

Moving quickly she put down her basket; which didn't quite balance on the bench and slipped off to crash onto the floor, spilling vegetables, meat and eggs. She shook off a brief moment of indecision; she could fix it later, she had the terrible feeling that the same could not be said for whatever was happening. She rushed out into the hall and towards the front door, erupting out of it and into the rain just ahead of Ryu and Genma, who had bolted out of the dining room at the sound of Nodoka's scream.

The first thing she saw was Ranma; female and sinking to his knees, shaking his head, a low keen in the back of his throat, his eyes wide and flashing their whites…

The next thing she saw was Nodoka; her face white and shocked, her hands, claw-like and gripping her sword, her body held stiff and closed off…

The final thing she saw was the pathetic little black piglet looking with confusion from Ranma to Nodoka and back again. P-chan. _Ryouga_.

_Oh shit_. She didn't know what to do…

"I saw… I _saw_," Nodoka wailed, her eyes rolling in their sockets, "You can't pretend, we can't pretend… Ranko… Ranko you're _him_ aren't you? I know that face, I've seen that face… and I can see it now, in _you. _You're my _son_. _You're my __**son**__!"_

She saw Ranma jerkily nod his head, as if in a trance.

Nodoka nodded back, spasmodically, before opening her mouth and shrieking, "You're my son and you're a _monster_ and a _pervert _and _**what have you done to your father?!!**_"

_Well, Nodoka had obviously lost her mind_.

The thought was confirmed when, with a whining wail, Nodoka drew her sword and lunged at Ranma. She, herself, lunged forward, Ryu lunged forward, but it was _Genma_ who reached his wife first, wrapping his large, furry body around her and holding her back, one of his paws knocking her sword from her fist.

Nodoka screamed and howled, kicking and scratching at him.

She stepped forward, towards Ranma, before changing her mind and marching over to a startled Ryouga, who she picked up and shook a little, "Listen to me Ryouga and listen good," he opened his mouth and _bukee-ed_ but she just shook him again, "I want you to go, get out of here, _never come back_; because if I _ever_ see your face again not only will I not step in and stop whoever else is around from, frankly, _murdering_ you, I'll do it myself."

His little piggy face looked shocked, completely shocked, but she didn't care. She released him roughly and was just a little pleased when he staggered a little, before snarling at him when he didn't move, "Go! Fuck off!"

He flinched when she swore, looked at her strangely, looked over to Ranma and his hysterical mother before heading off in a stagger that quickly became a run. She hoped that that would be the last any of them saw of him.

The rain slowed to a trickle before stopping altogether (though she suspected that it wouldn't be long before it stated again) as she whirled back around to face what was going on behind her. Nodoka was really making a scene, even the neighbours (who were used to all sorts of weird behaviour going on) were standing around staring. She shook her head and _tsk_-ed, _it was really rather immature of the other woman._

Nodoka's flaws aside, and there were a fair few of those, she had more important things to worry about; _Ranma_, to be precise. She rushed over to the boy and sank down next to him, trying to get him to respond, trying to get him out of there before his lunatic of a mother did any more damage. He didn't even blink.

She looked over to Genma and Ryu, hoping that they might have some idea of how to proceed. She was rather startled to see Ryu running back into the house, but then she saw the sign that Genma had been struggling to hold up where he could see it. Now that he didn't have to, and really unable to hold both Nodoka and the sign, Genma dropped it face up and where she could see it.

"**GET HOT WATER"**

Oh… _what was he going to do?_

Genma looked so determined, so, so determined. Almost like a different man… mind you, he was a panda, but she had gotten used to reading his expressions on that furry, monochromatic face. She watched, with baited breath, for Ryu to return. It felt as if everything, the future of everyone she cared about, would be determined by what happened next.

She wished she could do something herself, but she didn't know what to do and she suspected that maybe she hadn't quite recovered from what had happened earlier; her thoughts seemed just a little… _off_.

Ryu erupted back out of the house at a run, the full kettle in his hand. He hesitated for the briefest second, in which Genma looked at him as if he was unbearably stupid, before he threw the water over the panda, which had the predictable result.

"_Genma?!_" Nodoka shrieked again, but not as loudly as she had before, before her eyes rolled up and she became a dead-weight in Genma's arms. She'd fainted.

Genma hauled his wife into his arms and looked over to her, "We'd better get inside before it starts raining again, if I have to deal with this I'd rather do it as a man," he frowned at them, "Can you help Ranma in?"

She nodded and stood up, hauling Ranma to his feet. He was still unresponsive, still limp, still not taking his own weight, so she looked to Ryu to see if he'd help her drag the red-head inside. She could probably have done it herself, Ranma wasn't very heavy, but it would be awkward and… she didn't know. It would just be just easier if he helped. _He_ nodded to her and went over, taking Ranma's other arm, and together they brought him back into the house.

They followed Genma to the dining-room, where he carefully laid Nodoka on the floor. After some quick contemplation they eased Ranma down as far away from Nodoka as they could manage whilst still being in the same room.

She sat down next to the boy and looked into his worryingly empty face. _This must be a nightmare for him and she knew that before now he had been becoming increasingly fragile_.

Ryu's long-fingered hand briefly touched down on her shoulder as he whispered "I think I should get Kiyoshi" in her ear. She frowned at him for a moment, not sure if it was a good idea, before nodding her head. _It couldn't make anything worse, as she doubted that it was actually possible for things to __**get**__ worse_.

000

(_Genma_)

She was small, so small. So fragile and tiny and bird-like. He hadn't noticed it before, maybe hadn't wanted to see it, but she was barely a shadow of what she had once been. When she was awake she was so _lively_, but now…

He glanced over to his son and saw the same thing.

Now… they looked broken, shattered, helpless. It was his duty to protect them; but how could he, when what he had to protect them from was each-other, _themselves_?

This was… there were probably words for how wretchedly, horribly unpleasant this was, but whatever they were, they were not part of his vocabulary. He was going to die. His _son_ was going to die. All because of him.

_His fault_.

_It was his __**fault**_.

He could feel the truth of that, of his own guilt and culpability, rise up inside him like a dragon. It was curling up in his chest, his throat, _choking him_.

He didn't know what to do, how to get out of this… _maybe he should run_, grab the boy and get out of there… if they kept running, never stopped then maybe she wouldn't catch up to them…

No… no he couldn't. He was tired of it, tired of the life he'd been leading for all these years. He just wanted some peace, to go home, for everything to be alright. For them to be a family again.

He was tired.

He was tired and it was all his fault.

There was his wife, lying there, still so beautiful, still so delicate, still so _young_ and he felt so, so old. It was wearing him down; he felt so tired, felt like this was killing him, taking the last of his youth, leaving him older than Happosai.

He finally let himself glance over to the wrecked shell of his son.

Ranma…

All those years of taking care of the boy, all those years of… Ranma wasn't always well in the head. He knew that, he also knew that he was the cause of a lot of it. The Nekoken training, the way they'd lived, the way they'd never settled down, they way they'd never really formed ties with anyone else until recently, his occasional trips into the red-light districts of various towns- leaving the boy to fend for himself…

But he could see Nodoka in it as well.

Not just because of the promise or the lengths the boy had gone to, the things he'd done, in order to prevent her from working out who he was. Nodoka hadn't always been… _well_… when they were married. She was, usually, very calm, very collected, very _proper_. An intelligent, reasonable wife… but every now and then she'd fall into that hysterical state she'd been in earlier.

He blamed her mother for that. He'd never liked the old…

It was just sad to think that she might have passed part of it on to their son. _His_ son.

_This was stupid, ridiculous, avoiding the problem at hand_.

Ryu ducked back into the room from wherever he'd been and bent down to whisper something to Kasumi. She nodded, but never took her attention from Ranma, who was still in that wretched (entirely too familiar) catatonic state. Ryu whispered something else to her before ducking back out of the room and, from what it sounded like, out of the front door.

He vaguely wondered where the elder Kurosawa was going, but it was only a vague curiosity. The Kurosawa's were partly to blame for everything… for the way it had all fallen to pieces.

_Not to mention that Kiyoshi hadn't been around when Ranma needed him._

It wasn't a thought that he liked thinking, but it was true. Ranma seemed to need _that_ Kurosawa and if he somehow managed to get them out of this it would be too late anyway for Ranma to keep trying to be a _'man amongst men' _so he might as well have what made him happy. There'd been far too little happiness in his life.

A little rustle of noise by his feet alerted him to the fact that Nodoka was stirring.

_Well, this was it. The end of it all_…

She blinked groggily as she awoke, looking around herself in confusion, before her eyes cleared and she leapt to her feet. Her eyes flitting here and there looking, he suspected, for her sword. Since he'd left it out the front of the house he didn't expect that she'd find it.

Eventually she seemed to give up and her gaze darted from him to their son before she _lunged_ at the boy, grabbing his shirt with her hands and shaking him. Ranma just jerked back and forth like a doll in her grasp and didn't even react when she began to scream in his face.

"How did you do it? _How did you do it?!_"

He lunged forward and grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the boy and around to face him. She flinched when she met his eyes, before shaking her head, "I don't understand it. I _don't_! How… You were a panda and now you are my _husband_. It must be witchcraft, it _must_ be. That's the only explanation. The only… Witchcraft. Witchcraft and that…" she glared viciously at their son "…_thing_… must be the witch. She… _he_… must have enchanted you or else _why_? Why haven't you come home?"

She sounded both totally insane and so beseeching, he had forgotten about her mother's ridiculous belief in witchcraft, had even thought that _she_ had… but no matter what she sounded like it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He felt as though he was falling through himself. Before she had a chance to open her mouth again and do any more damage to the boy he opened his mouth and let it all out in a dead voice, all the venomous, poisonous _truth_ that had been festering inside him for so long.

"It's my fault. It's _all_ my fault. The boy, our _son_, is innocent, a _victim_ in all this. If anyone's to blame for it. If anyone's to _die_ for it. Then it's me. It's _my fault_."

He watched with some vague satisfaction as she froze and stared at him, her eyes huge, "What do you mean?"

000

(_Nodoka_)

She was rather embarrassed about her earlier breakdown. All that wailing and screaming, she'd sounded like her mother on a bad day. There had been that dark, secret twist of lunacy in her mother's family, all originating from an incident when her mother was a small child.

Allegedly an ancient, wizened, dying Chinese woman had shown up on the doorstep of her mother's childhood home, seeking a place to die in peace. They had let her in and nursed her through her last hours but her mother's mother, her grandmother, had stolen a beautiful bracelet from the woman as she lay dying. The old woman had asked for it back, but when her grandmother had denied stealing it in the first place and had acted offended at the very suggestion, the old woman had used her last breath to curse her and all her female decedents.

She didn't know the details of the curse, her mother had never told her, all she knew was that, for all her mother was usually a very self-contained woman, she completely and totally, truly believed in the curse and any mention of witchcraft would send her into a state of frenzied hysteria.

So yes, she was embarrassed that she had acted so much like her mother, and even more so because she herself had never believed in the curse, but she had _seen_ something which should have been completely impossible, so what had her first thought been; _witchcraft_. She had thought that Ran… no, she couldn't bring herself to think of that person as anyone else… _Ranko_, she had thought that Ranko was a witch.

She wasn't, as it turned out.

Her husband, her Genma, had gone to long and incredible lengths to explain to her what had happened. Juusenkyou, cursed springs, foolish training exercises. She wasn't completely sure that she understood, but the one thing that was becoming abundantly obvious was the lengths he was going to to convince her that it was all his fault. He loved… that_ creature_… that much was obvious.

The very thought shuddered across her awareness. _How could he?_ How could he love such a thing?...

Traitorous, evil, wicked, sitting there _knowing_, knowing and laughing at her as she made a fool of herself over Ranko. _Ranko _who didn't even really exist. Ranko who was her… _Oh Gods_… Ranko who was her _son_.

It was disgusting. Completely disgusting. She felt polluted by it.

She turned back to Genma, who was waiting for her reaction to his explanation, and studied his face. She could see the fear in him, the terror, he was so worried that she'd grab the contract and her sword and demand that they fulfil it. He didn't want… _that_… to die. He didn't. She suspected that he would actually take the blade if it spared… _Ranko._

_What should she do?_

She wanted her husband back, she wanted her _life_ back… she wanted to be free of all this. She didn't want to force him to… she didn't want him to die. The contract was… she didn't even really agree with it, not anymore, she had only agreed to it in the first place to make him happy, and it seemed that he'd be happier without it… but at the same time she couldn't bare the thought of living in the same house as…

Her son. The _monster_.

No. _No!_ Not after the fool she'd made of herself…

She took a deep breath and began to speak, before the idea had fully crystallised in her mind, "There is only one way I can think of for the contact to be rendered null and void…"

"Yes?" he queried, and she could see hope and fear warring on his face.

She nodded, her face deadly serious, before coldly stating, "That is if we have no son."

He looked shocked, totally shocked, "You mean we…?"

"Disown _him_?" she glared at the thing that was her child with venom and was just a little happy when it flinched under the weight of her gaze "Yes. That's what I mean."

"No…" Genma whispered, shaking his head, "No… we can't. _I_ can't… There has to be some other way…"

"No," she would not be swayed, "No Genma. We had a contract, which is obviously broken, so it's either 'we have no son' or you and… _that_… fulfil your obligations."

She wasn't having _it_ in her house.

He looked from her (no doubt taking in her serious, unswayable expression) to the _thing_ and back again, a look of helpless desperation on his face. "This is the only way?" he asked, futilely expecting the answer to be different.

"Yes. The only way."

He bit his lip and looked back to _it_, "But where will he stay? Who'll take care of him? I can't leave him by himself…"

She couldn't possibly care less. The creature could sleep in the gutter for all it mattered to her.

"We'll take him," that awful Kasumi suddenly piped in, "He can stay here, with us. We'll keep him safe."

Genma seemed to be studying the girl, and she was sure some strange moment of communication was happening that she couldn't be a part of. It irritated her. Slowly her husband nodded, still looking into that girl's eyes, "Keep him safe."

She nodded back to him, "We will. _I_ will."

He turned back to her, and she almost flinched away from the hurt, from the broken expression on his face, before she managed to gather herself.

"Well then" she declared, hoping she looked confident and competent, "Let's pack our things and get out of this _house_. We can stay at a hotel until the house if finished and then… well, a normal life."

He nodded, his eyes still empty, and turned to leave the room. When he was next to the creature who was no longer their son, who she was happy to see was back in this world and looking absolutely _devastated_, he stopped and whispered, almost too softly for her to hear, "I'm sorry."

000

(_Kiyoshi_)

He was… angry, hurting, furious, lonely, lost, sad, broken, wanting…

_Ranma_.

It all came back to Ranma. He shouldn't have… he…

Even though he'd told the truth he should have hung around, shouldn't have been a coward, shouldn't have run off to lick his wounds…

Ranma might have needed him. He should have stayed, instead he'd let that sense of broken, shattered, loss chase him off. As it was now he didn't think he'd ever be able to breathe again without it hurting, if he was with Ranma the at least the other's presence would probably be able to sooth some of the pain.

He hadn't slept the night before, didn't know if he'd be able to sleep again, all he'd done is sit here, in the garden, and let himself swim in his own regrets.

_Everything _that had happened felt like it was pushing down on him. All those things he'd been too busy surviving to cope with… and there was too much of it. Far, too much. He felt like he was drowning in his own pain.

The Phone had been ringing and ringing for the last fifteen minutes, he could hear it, but he couldn't be bothered getting up to answer it. _What was the point?_ Life might go on, but it didn't feel like it was going on for him.

He wished that his father was here, he did. He needed someone to talk to and he couldn't even bear thinking about going to his mother with this… not when she'd been the _cause_ of it. Unfortunately his father was dead.

Dead.

Dead and unavenged, his children and wife too focused on surviving, on getting the next meal, until they'd all but forgotten what had happened. It had been wiped away by horror and shock; too many nights of watching his mother bleed, hearing her cry…

Too much blood and pain and unforgivable cruelty.

He could feel it all, in this moment, in his grief, he could feel it all, and it was reaching through the past to strangle him. The loss of Ranma just one more loss, though a particularly painful one.

He was swimming in his own self hatred when he heard the front door slam open and running footsteps storm through the house towards him. Ryu erupted out of the back door at a run. "Don't you ever answer the bloody _phone_?!"

He looked blankly at his brother, "What?"

"The phone!" Ryu snarled, "I've been ringing you."

He blinked, "So?"

Ryu sighed viciously, "Damn it Kiyoshi, could you please act like an adult."

"What?!" he snapped at his brother, "Like you're one to talk."

Ryu gave him a flat look, "_I_ have been acting far more grown up than _you_ recently little brother."

"In what way have I been acting immature" he snarled back; possibly, just _possibly_, with every bit of immaturity that Ryu had just accused him of.

Ryu glared at him, "The way you've been treating Ranma, for one!"

He felt like he'd been slapped. "What's that supposed to mean?" he growled, furious that Ryu could accuse him of treating Ranma badly, "I've been doing what's best for him. He doesn't need me hanging around now that…"

"SHUT UP!" Ryu shouted, before taking a deep, calming breath, "Just. Shut. Up. You don't understand. You don't. Kasumi told me that Ranma's been _miserable_ ever since you left…"

The thought lanced through him. "Miserable?" he knew he sounded weak and worried, but he really _didn't_ understand.

Ryu wasn't listening to him though, instead still talking, a haunted look on his face, "But all that doesn't matter, not anymore…"

A horrible, awful feeling began to creep over him, "What do you mean?"

Ryu looked him square in the eye, "Nodoka has _found out_."

His world was falling out from underneath him, it _was_, but that didn't stop the rather foolish words from slipping out, "Found out… No, you don't mean…"

You smirked in a way that was completely, totally, without humour, "Yes. I do mean. The _curse_."

He forced himself to his feet, ignoring the stiffness of his muscles and joints from sitting still for too long, and began to run "Shit. Oh shit, I've got to…"

_Ranma. He had to get to Ranma_.

000

(_Akane_)

She was glad that Mousse wasn't struggling; she'd had to pick him up and shelter him in her jacket when it had started to rain again.

It wasn't very nice weather to walk home in, not at all. The little shower of rain earlier had just been the tip of the iceberg and it was now pouring down as if it would never stop. The worse thing was that she'd forgotten her umbrella, which meant that she was well and truly soaked as well as unpleasantly cold.

It wasn't that far until they'd reach the Tendou Dojou now, which meant she could read the letter that Mousse's mother had left with Cologne and have a look at what else she'd been given. Mousse had been very upset when she'd met him outside the school, which had been, thankfully, a good few minutes before the rain had started up again and he'd turned into a duck, so he'd had a chance to tell her that his mother had left. Gone. She hadn't even said goodbye, instead she'd left a letter for both of them and Ranma, a couple of paper wrapped packages and a scroll (also for Ranma).

It was sort of disturbing, that she'd just leave like that, and she was worried about how it would affect Mousse. She'd have to wait to ask him how he was, though, because even if they got some hot water he'd turn back immediately. At least this way she could keep him safe, keep him sheltered in her arms. She hoped he was getting some comfort from that.

She wished that Nabiki had come home with them instead of going off with that girl, she was sure her sister would have packed her own umbrella, and, knowing Nabiki, had probably brought hers along as well. But it didn't matter, Nabiki had looked happy when she and the girl had walked off together and that was a good thing. Nabiki was rarely, honestly happy.

She frowned as she realised that there was something strange going on outside of her home. She could see a car just near the front gate with someone packing things into it, but she would need to get a little closer to really understand what was happening- the rain was a little too heavy to see clearly.

As she got closer she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. In fact she didn't _want_ to believe what she was seeing.

Nodoka was packing things into the car with some help from one of the neighbours, who didn't look too happy to be roped in, but the thing that was really worrying was Genma. Genma who was standing there underneath an umbrella in his _human _form.

She saw him start to lunge forward when Nodoka almost dropped something she was carrying, but she quickly whirled on him and shouted, "Genma, you stay there under that umbrella. We're almost done and I'm not having you turn into… _that_… right now."

_Oh no, oh Gods no…_

She began to run in earnest, barrelling past Nodoka and the neighbour, but slowing a little by Genma, who gave her a horribly pained, apologetic smile, before speeding up again and bursting into the house. She dropped her bag and Mousse's clothes, quickly toed off her shoes and tried to shrug off her blazer whilst still holding Mousse securely, and shouting "Kasumi! Kasumi, where are you?!"

Her sister burst out of the dining room and headed towards her, a horrible look on her face. "Oh Gods Kasumi, what's going on?"

Kasumi bit her lip and glanced back to the dining room before turning to her and saying, "Come on, I'll get some towels and then let's go to the kitchen and turn Mousse back so you can both get dry. I'll tell you what's happened while we do." She nodded and followed her sister to the kitchen.

Kasumi bustled about for a moment, getting the hot water and the towels, before turning back to her with a frown, "I think you should probably put him down for this…"

"Al…alright," she agreed shakily, then bent down and gently put Mousse on the floor, trying to ignore how hard her hands were shaking now that they weren't occupied. He staggered a little, flapping his wings, until he regained his balance and then looked up at her as she poured the hot water over his head. She held out a towel and looked away as he turned back, but that didn't stop her from blushing at the idea that he was just _there_ completely _naked_.

The towel was pulled out of her grip and she left enough time for him to wrap himself in it before she turned back around. Even though the very big, very fluffy towel hid all of him that she hadn't already seen, every atom of his being seemed to radiate embarrassment. For just a second she was caught there looking at him, her eyes trapped in his gaze, the moment syrupy and intense, before her sister dumped the other towel over her head. She flinched as the fabric covered her face and brought her out of that moment, as she returned to the present she found herself shivering as it finally dawned on her exactly how _cold_ she was. She grabbed the towel and began to half-heartedly dry herself, feeling terribly embarrassed, but not sure why, and unable to meet her sister's eyes.

When she was a little dryer and a little less embarrassed she looked over to Kasumi, "So, what happened?"

Kasumi shook her head and looked to the side before meeting her gaze, "It was Ryouga's fault. That stupid, stupid boy." She began, anger, exhaustion and sorrow staining her voice, "Nodoka found out, found out about Ranma. The curse. Genma…" Kasumi took a deep breath, "She reacted badly. She went… _insane_. She said some of the most horrible things, all where Ranma could hear them – in essence it was the worst case scenario that Ranma and his father had always feared. Genma stepped in, tried to make her see reason, _pleaded_ for Ranma's life…"

She couldn't quite believe that, "What? Genma? Genma _Saotome?_"

Kasumi nodded, "Yes. _Genma_. He was… it was like seeing some other part of him, some part he keeps hidden most of the time… but that doesn't matter. She agreed that they wouldn't have to… to… _you know_… but only if…" she took another deep breath and ran her hand down her face as if trying to wipe something away, before meeting her gaze with suspiciously bright eyes… _was she about to cry?_ "Ranma's been disowned," she declared, flatly, "The only way Nodoka would agree not to fulfil the contract is if she and Genma no longer had a son."

_What?_ "No…" she whispered, "What's going to happen to him?! Where's he going to _stay?_"

Kasumi gave her a small, crooked smile, "He'll be staying here, with us. I wasn't going to let _that_ _woman_ completely ruin his life."

She nodded when she heard that. _It was a good idea, Ranma liked them, he felt at home here… at least she thought he did… and if he was here then she could… she could…_ She dropped the towel and ran out of the room, looking for him.

_He'd be __**safe**__ with them. They'd keep him safe…_

He wasn't in the dining room, she'd thought that he would be… _maybe he was upstairs?_ She headed in that direction but as she did she noticed that the front door was open. _She was sure she'd shut it_. Darting her head outside she found him, still female, still being battered by the rain, and curled up in a miserable ball on the front step.

Genma, Nodoka, the neighbour and the car were all gone.

She stepped out fully and sank down next to him, her arms going around him and pulling his small, trembling frame against her. "It'll be alright," she whispered into his hair, "We'll get through this."

"Akane?" he murmured after a moment, looking at her with surprise.

"Yeah?"

He looked away from her, shame colouring his features, "I'm sorry about… about Ryouga."

The reminder stung, the betrayal still felt fairly fresh, but she knew now that she could forgive him. That she _would_ forgive him. That she was in the process of forgiving him right then… He really, probably, hadn't known any better, but she hoped like hell he did now.

"It's alright," she responded, "Just don't do it again."

He violently shook his head, "I won't I _promise_."

"It's okay Ranma," she said, studying him. He looked so vulnerable, so diminished… she hoped he would recover from this, that it would just be another one of those _things_ that happened to him; but she was afraid that this might be the one thing that pushed him too far, that he may never recover.

She was about to suggest that they go inside and get dry when the sound of running footsteps pounding onto the wet ground made her look up in time to see Kiyoshi appear outside the front gate. He was soaking wet, bedraggled, and frantic, but the thing she noticed most was the way his face lit up, both with pleasure and concern, when he laid eyes on Ranma. With his eyes still focussed on the small, shaking figure in her arms he pushed open the gate and walked over to them just seconds before Ryu appeared, running at full pelt.

When she glanced over to Ranma, to see how he was taking this development, she found that he was looking up at Kiyoshi with a strange, almost unreadable, expression on his face. She looked up at the other boy and found that he was studying Ranma with that same, strange intensity. Considering things briefly she shrugged and gently disentangled herself from Ranma before getting to her feet and motioning to Ryu that perhaps they should both go inside and leave Ranma to Kiyoshi.

Ryu nodded and they both carefully made their way around Ranma and into the house, she felt that her instincts were probably correct when Ranma didn't even seem to notice her leave. The last thing she saw before she shut the door behind them was Kiyoshi shrugging off his jacket and laying it over Ranma's shivering shoulders.

Sighing briefly and rubbing her temples she headed towards the dining room, which was the room that her sister was most likely in. She still had some questions about what had happened, what they were going to do now… but when she entered the room all the words died in her throat.

Ryu had obviously come ahead of her. Obviously because Kasumi had her arms wrapped around him, and was almost hanging on him for support. Ryu didn't seem to find this strange, his arms were around her waist and he seemed to be whispering something in her ear…

It was then that she noticed the ring. The _ring_. Diamond. Solitaire. Tasteful but expensive. On her sister's left ring finger…

_Oh…_

She must have made some noise because Kasumi looked up at her; her sister looked calm, perfectly composed and when she opened her mouth to ask _what the hell was going on_ Kasumi spoke before she could, "Ryu and I are getting married."

_Thump_.

The sound of a body hitting the floor behind her made her turn around to find her father sitting slumped on the floor just outside of the door, looking shocked stupid. She stared at him in shock for a moment before he gave a sudden burst of laughter, shook his head ruefully and got to his feet. He walked past her into the room and towards Kasumi and Ryu, who were looking slightly more nervous now. He stopped just in front of them before a huge grin erupted over his face and he reached out and grabbed Ryu's hand, shaking it and declaring "Congratulations!" before turning to Kasumi and pulling her into a hug.

From where she was standing she could just here him whisper "Congratulations. I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you all recently."

Not even sure how she was feeling she watched them as they became distracted by the prospect of the wedding. She didn't resent them for their happiness, or their excitement, but she couldn't take her mind away from Ranma, from what had happened… but even as she thought that she realised that neither Ryu nor Kasumi were totally swept up in the moment either. It was just their father. Their father that didn't _know_.

She saw the second Kasumi must have said something. Saw his face fall. Saw the pain flash across it…

A warm hand landed on her shoulder and she turned around to see Mousse, now dry and fully dressed, looking at her with concern. She gave him a wavery smile, one that she knew wasn't that convincing, and didn't fight him as he pulled her into a hug. She needed the comfort.

000

(_Ranma- female_)

Everything was… wrong, strange, different, painful, broken.

He was… he was everything that everything else was. This was something, something _beyond_ everything else he had ever experienced. It _hurt_, it hurt but the word _hurt_, the word _pain…_ it was all inadequate. All of it. He hurt like he had never hurt before, like he prayed he'd never hurt again. He was lost. Everything was lost. His family, his hopes for a _proper_ family… they were all lost.

He had nothing left.

Everything felt empty, even Akane's arms that were wrapped around him. He could barely feel them. Barely feel her heat. Barely feel the comfort she was trying to give…

A noise made him look up, he wasn't sure what it was because the whole world felt hushed, muted, but when he did look up he was caught in Kiyoshi's gaze.

_Kiyoshi_…

Akane jostled him just a little as she moved away, Ryu brushed past him as he entered the house… none of that mattered.

_Kiyoshi_… Kiyoshi who he'd never expected to see again…

The other boy moved closer to him and shrugged off his jacket, which was carefully placed around his shoulders, before Kiyoshi sat down next to him. It was strange… he could actually _feel_ Kiyoshi…

They sat in silence for an awkward moment before Kiyoshi carefully wrapped his arm around him and pulled him closer. Kiyoshi was still so warm, and he could feel that warmth leaching into his frozen flesh. He let himself burrow a little closer into that source of comfort.

"What happened?" Kiyoshi asked, thankfully not asking if he was alright.

He thought about how to answer that for a minute, before speaking in a shamefully broken voice, "I'm not their son anymore."

Kiyoshi's arm tightened around him before the other boy said, "I'm sorry."

He could feel tears welling up in his eyes, sobs rising in his chest, and he wasn't even sure he could hold them back this time. He felt so tired, so worn out… so sick of trying to be something he wasn't…

_A man amongst men_…

Something he didn't have to be, not anymore.

He let the tears fall, but still held back the sobs. He still had some dignity, even in complete defeat.

"I've been a bastard…" Kiyoshi said suddenly, he looked up at the other boy with bleary eyes and found him looking into the distance, his eyes sad and angry, "I promised myself that I'd protect you and I haven't even been here when you needed me."

He wasn't sure how to react to that statement, just burrowed closer to the other boy. Usually he would have said something about not needing to be protected, but he felt weak, vulnerable, scared and couldn't help but think that it would be nice if he could trust someone else to keep him safe. Kiyoshi was probably the only person in the universe who could, too…

…

Once upon a time he wouldn't have even believed that someone would want to keep him safe, not after the Nekoken training when his old man had… but Kasumi had even said that said that he would stay here, with them, had promised his pop that she'd keep him safe…

It was strange, his pop… _no_, he had to stop thinking of him like that. _Genma_. Genma had argued with… with… _Nodoka_… he'd even volunteered to kill _himself_ so that… It was strange… his… _Genma_ had looked sad, had said he was _sorry_, after agreeing to disown him so that they wouldn't have to fulfil the promise…

It hurt. It hurt so much. He had no mother, he had no father… he was an orphan… he had _no one_…

But! But… it didn't have to be like that. It didn't. _He_ didn't… the contract was… which meant he could…

_If he couldn't have his family, shouldn't he have the other thing he really wanted?_

He looked up at Kiyoshi, studied his handsome face, before carefully reaching out and taking Kiyoshi's surprised face in his hands and pulling it down close to his own. Trembling, terrified, frightened and freaked-out he laid one quick, fluttering kiss on the other boy's lips, before releasing Kiyoshi with a squeak.

It felt as if his heart was about to burst out of his chest, blushing so hard he was sure they could see him from space and unable to meet Kiyoshi's gaze he cringed. _Maybe he shouldn't have done that. What if Kiyoshi wasn't interested anymore_…?

Two very gentle hands cupped his own face and turned him back to the boy he had just kissed. "Are you sure?" Kiyoshi asked, his face serious.

_Was he?..._ "Yes," he answered simply.

Kiyoshi nodded and leant down, gently taking his lips in a proper kiss. As his eyes slowly drifted shut and he gave himself to the sensation, he couldn't help thinking that when he was with Kiyoshi he felt alive.

Even when it felt like his world was dying.

000

Very Final Author's Notes for Ranma's… Husband?:

There will probably be a sequel; I have ideas, lot's of ideas, but I just need a little break before I start it. A month or so, that's all. I have a couple of things I need to write first and I need some time to let my brain relax.

The sequel, if there is one (things might happen and I might not get around to it, I'm just warning you.) probably won't be written with as much intensity as this was as I'm going to be pretty busy this year and I'm thinking of working on some original stuff.

Anyway, I'd just like to thank you all for reading one last time. I have really appreciated it.


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